#metamorphics

From the time Elora could have bigger thoughts, could understand the words she wanted to describe things, she knew that she had not been born... Right.

Not wrong. Not entirely, at least. But there were parts of her that weren't right.

Elora.

Elora wasn't right. Elora was what they called her, but Elora wasn't right. It wasn't her. It was what they called her, but it didn't fit. Like the shirt Mama tried to wiggle her into one cold day, some parts right, most parts wrong.

She/her.

They called her that too, and it meant she was Venus, a she, a female, and that... No. It fit worse than Elora. Wrapped tight like the rope Victorin had tied her up with one day, that Bella had pulled off her. Elora looked at her brother and thought... Yes.

And... Prowler.

The body and breed she had been born into, and while it felt okay, it didn't feel entirely right for her, either. She couldn't describe it, other than comparing it to that shirt. Didn't fit right.

She couldn't do anything about Elora. She could do something about she/her, though... Or could she? She didn't know how to ask, how to express herself.

But it turned out, she could do something about being a Prowler. She just didn't know it yet, until she finally got the courage to say some of the things in her head.

"Mama, can cats be born wrong?" she asked one night as her mother licked her ears, Bella already burrowed beneath the blankets in her bed.

"What do you mean, dewdrop?" her mother asked.

"I mean... Can cats be born not being the right breed? Can their parents give them the wrong name?" Elora explained, the words tumbling from her mouth.

She couldn't find the courage to ask about Venus and Mars, couldn't find the words to even ask it. It made sense in her head, but there were no words for her to speak.

"Where is this coming from, Elora? Is something wrong?" her mother asked next, looking worried.

"I was just thinking, Mama. But can they?" Elora asked, swallowing hard.

"That is a very big question for such a little cat. Hmm..." her mother said and flicked her tail, leaving the room.

She came back with a book and climbed up onto the bed beside her, curling around her, opening the book.

"Look at these, my little dewdrop. Do you see these stones? Agates, Stones, Lenses, and Crystals?" she said, running a paw over the pages.

Elora nodded, staring at the beautiful art of stones in all sorts of different colors, shapes, and sizes.

"What do they do, Mama?"

"Agates are for your pelt. They change your pattern. My pelt is Tiger, and Daddy's is Tuxedo, but you've seen the other cats around with Butterfly, Cardinal, Blotches, and more. Some of them are born that way, and others use Agates to change their pelts' pattern." her mother explained, licking her ears.

"Like how Runnerkiwi was solid and then she was all spotty at the last community meal?" Elora asked.

"Yes, Elora. Exactly like that."

"Victorin said she was bad and that made her colors change! He said if I was bad, I would be all spotty!" Elora exclaimed indignantly.

Her mother sighed heavily. "He lied, dewdrop. Your pelt doesn't change because you were bad. I'll talk to him in the morning."

After that, she read through the whole section of the book with Elora, showing her the pictures and reading the words, and Elora's heart was soaring in her chest.

Her mother read to her all about Harkestones and how they were made and what the different magical stones did, and showed her pictures of Domestics and Mystics, too.

That was the day Elora decided that, if that was what it took to feel right, she would and each kind of Harkestone and use it, until she found a breed that felt right.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time Elora used a Harkestone, it wasn't, technically, Elora who did it.

It was Etienne. He/him, new name, feeling a bit more right in his own skin.

His siblings pooled their collected copper, exchanged it for silver, and gave him a Harvest Crystal as a gift, shortly after he had announced to the community that he was Etienne, he/him, and his siblings had comforted him.

He had told them about how he felt about his body, about how he felt that he had been born the wrong breed, and they were trying to help. Etienne nearly cried at the gift, but he didn't use it right away. He had been saving up himself for a while now, ever since he had realized he was trans and the name Elora wasn't really his, and he finished saving up for a Crystal to change back.

A Prowler was fine enough for now, and he would rather be a Prowler rather than something even more wrong.

His dad wordlessly one night gave him the silver he was missing and it was something they never spoke of, even into his adulthood.

His parents might not entirely understand that he felt like he had been born wrong in so many ways, that he wasn't the right breed and that he was transgender, but they tried, at least, and that was what mattered.

He got another one, just to be sure, and then he, Victorin, and Bella went to their 'secret' pond, setting the gleaming green stones and Mama's old book down in the grass.

"How do you even use them?" Bella asked, staring with wide blue eyes at the Harkestones.

"Umm... It's different than the ones for pelts and eyes..." Etienne said, frowning as he read the pages.

"I have to swallow them." he said, his ears and tail dropping.

"Do they have a flavor?" Victorin asked, pricking his own ears.

"It doesn't say." Etienne said, taking a deep breath.

At least they were small. Not really bigger than any of the dice Bella had swallowed that the doctor had made her vomit up when they were little kittens.

He picked up the one that would turn him into a Shorthair, feeling some misgivings because of the shape and facets, and pushed it into his mouth before he could have second thoughts.

As soon as it touched his tongue, he felt the burst of magic- magic! He had always been so fascinated by it- and he gasped, light bursting from his lips, and he swallowed it down. It didn't feel like a rock anymore, like his salvia had broken through a casing holding the magic in the stone, and his belly warmed as soon as it was down.

Then came the pain. It was like the growing pains he got, sharp aches and pins and needles, like his skin was too small for him, and he watched as his paws got broader, legs thicker, and so on. The weirdest part was when his head changed and his eyes and mouth moved differently, and his tail getting shorter.

When the transformation was complete, Etienne staggered, a faint aftertaste he couldn't describe mixed with fresh herbs on his tongue, and Bella and Victorin stared at him.

"You look so... Different." Bella said after a moment as Etienne rolled his shoulders.

Broader shoulders, different muscle connections, because Shorthairs were broad and strong while Prowlers were slimmer and quick, and he tried out his new body.

No, no, no, no. This wasn't right; not right at all.

His tail was too short and his shoulders felt too broad, his head wasn't right- He would give it some time, but while there was nothing wrong with a Shorthair, it most definitely wasn't for him.

His siblings coaxed him into moving around and testing out his new form and he was soon running with them and climbing trees, but... No.

No, this wasn't right. It was distinctly wrong for him.

A week later, he would be a Prowler again, feeling bad for wasting his siblings' gift, but they assured him, it was fine. As long as it helped him find who he was really supposed to be, that was all that mattered to them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because of the price of such stones and crystals, or the difficulty of getting the martials, it was years before Etienne would change his breed again. Then there was Domestic versus Mythic to consider, the copper and silver to earn, the materials if he wanted to pay someone to make it rather than buy a ready-made one...

He lived life as a Prowler and did regret that Shorthair hadn't worked out, but at least he knew. He worked on the family farm and as a doctor, because healing herbs and medicine had always fascinated him, and it was a decent living.

But he wanted more from life than Harvest, more than just growing up and working on the farm, and he wanted so badly to learn magic and see the world.

It was another thing he and his parents never saw eye to eye on, right up to the time he left.

He was sorry to leave everything behind like that, a little, and Victorin picked a massive fight with him before he left, but this what he had to do.

He wanted to learn magic, and he also was hoping that learning magic would make him figure out who he truly was and help him be that cat. Magic promised that possibility, long with knowledge, respect, and a sort of power he had always longed to have in his life.

Etienne considered the Boroughs to travel to, places he could learn magic, and he found himself drawn to Luna, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

It was a long journey to Luna, though, and he offered medical services as he traveled; he had already made good money back in Harvest, and he made more as he traveled.

He treated injuries and illnesses, and even served as a midwife a few times. He asked around, looking for some place that could teach him magic, and Luna was recommended for this, and a place as well.

He made his way there, eventually, his bag packed with dwindling supplies for his services but a growing wealth of copper, silver, and Metamorphic Stones, mostly for Prowler, just in case. He had obtained another one for a Shorthair, because he had been so young at the time, and though, visually, they didn't appeal to him as the breed right for him, he did consider trying out Thumper and Bovine if he could. Just to be sure.

Eventually, he would up in the shocking cold of Luna and there, he met Pallas, Wongers, and Cilian, along with a pawful of others.

Pallas intimidated him from the moment he met her.

She was not from Luna, but she had been here for a time to teach magic, and she had small collection of students who studied beneath her and learned what she had to share. She was from Zenith and was a seer, her gaze focusing and unfocusing as she was swept into the future without intention. She had magic too, was a powerful sorcerer in her own right, and she was old, too.

She was a Longhair and regal, and she looked at him when he arrived before her, guided by the scholars who had graciously heard his request when he had arrived, his desire to learn magic, and brought him to Pallas.

Apparently, she had requested him, had told the scholars to send the next cat from Harvest requesting to study magic, and Etienne knew that she must have seen him in the future immediately from that.

She looked at him kindly, eyes glittering, and there was something like hope and relief in her eyes at the sight of him.

"Welcome, Etienne. Please, tell my why you have come." she said, pouring tea delicately into a cup.

"Don't you already know? You requested me." Etienne said, cocking his head.

"I see many things. Enlighten an old dam." Pallas said, stirring some honey into the cup next.

She gave it to him and Etienne told her, about wanting to learn magic because it had always fascinated, and he even expressed his desire to learn how to make Metamorphic items for himself, though he didn't exactly say why.

He had the feeling she knew why, though, and she accepted him as a student.

Before he could even start to use magic, he had to read and study, and meet her other students, too.

He liked Wongers immediately, though the other cat seemed stoic and didn't even crack a smile, which made Etienne determined to make him do so. Wongers was recording all sort of things and originally from Luna, had known magic his entire life, and the Shorthair looked at Etienne appraisingly when they first met. Then he nodded, accepting him, and he would quickly become Etienne's best friend.

Cilian was cold and harsh in ways, but he was a Sol cat, and he had experienced incomparable loss in his life before making his way here. He was harsh and tough, but he was also kind when you got to know him, and eventually, Etienne got to know him well.

There were students, more part-time than anything, and one was Cilian's best friend, and the other... Etienne didn't like to think about him most days. It hurt too much.

But he learned a lot of history, how to fight, and magic, too. He learned how to make stones and crystals for himself, and when he failed, someone was there to help him.

Those around him didn't mind that when he got a good supply of stones, from breeds all over the Boroughs, he began to change his breed again.

It took a considerable amount of time, but his friends also helped him, and soon he was skilled in magic, and ready to try to find the right breed, the right body, for himself, too.

Unfortunately.... Well, it was a rocky journey.

He tried Shorthair again and he was taller than Wongers, but he was also smaller, and his friend helped him get used to his new form.

He had been a young cat at the time, after all, and Wongers better showed him the pros and cons of being a Shorthair. It just wasn't right for Etienne, as it hadn't been before, and part of him wondered if Wongers would be offended by his obvious dislike and complaining, but his friend was not.

"You are not insulting me, Etienne. You are trying to find the best breed, the best body, for you. How can I be insulted by that? I know a Prowler wouldn't be right for me." Wongers said, giving him a severe look.

"But I wouldn't recommend trying out a Bovine, if being a Shorthair feels so wrong to you. Sell the stone or trade it for another." he added, obviously knowing what Etienne was thinking.

In the end, he would. He worked and trained, and tried to figure out what to do, what would be best, and he had his friends beside him as he did.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was hard.

Trying to figure it out, honestly being scared to try, because part of him was worried, that, well... He would never find the right breed, the right body, for himself.

He could change his name and make sure everyone knew his pronouns, but finding a body that suited him... What if he never did? What if he was left feeling now quite right forever?

The thought made him feel small and sick, and one night, he couldn't stand it anymore.

He had just tried one of the Abyssal breeds and while he would give it a few days, it just felt wrong. He couldn't even say why, but it did, and he put his head in his paws and began to sob.

He didn't hear his bedroom door open or realize that someone was in the room with him until his bed dipped. Etienne jerked his head up and found Cilian curling himself up beside him, their pelts brushing.

"This is my room." Etienne snapped, trying to choke back his tears.

"And you're upset. I could hear from out in the hall. Let it out, and when you can speak properly, tell me what's wrong." Cilian replied, staying where he was.

Etienne sort of disobeyed those orders, but he didn't care.

"None of it is right." he said, his breath shaking.

"I've only tried a handful of breeds so far, but none of them are right. I tried Bovine even though Wongers said I probably wouldn't like it, but... That, Shorthair, Prowler, this... None of it feels right!" Etienne said, digging his claws into his bedding.

"I can not stop thinking and fearing what if none of it is right, what if none of it is ever right for me. What if I'm a cat who was supposed to be born as a fauna or prey or- or not even at all?" he continued and Cilian's paw slammed into his ear.

"Etienne, you were meant to be born, or you would not have been born at all. Even if you had lived for a few short moments, you were meant to be. You are here and you are you, and you will find what breed is right for you. And perhaps if all breeds are not right for you, you can find a way to blend what feels best from several together." the older cat said, giving him a severe look.

"That really didn't make me feel better." Etienne mumbled.

"Well, it's the truth. The truth isn't always supposed to make you feel better." Cilian said bluntly.

That made Etienne laugh, still wet with tears, and he sniffed.

"I'm just so tired, Cilian. I just want to find what works for me, but I am so scared I won't." he said, resting his head on his paws.

"You won't know until you try. If you're comfortable enough as a Prowler, then stop and live with good enough. No one will force you to continue if you don't want to." Cilian said and Etienne found himself appreciating the other cat.

Cilian was blunt and sharp-tongued and not always friendly, but that was what Etienne needed right now.

He knew Cilian was right, but he just needed to cry and let out his emotions, and Cilian let him. Helped get out his feelings in the morning with some training, and from there...

Etienne was a fast learner, and Pallas, alongside Cilian and Wongers, good teachers. Eventually, he was sent to the Metropolis for some different training, beyond what Pallas could teach him.

Over his time in Luna with these cats, he had changed his breed to Shorthair, Prowler, Shorthair again, Bovine, Prowler, both Abyssal breeds, and back to Prowler again, and no one minded, but it wasn't right for him.

On the day of their parting, Cilian gave him a gift, two Sol Stones to use as he pleased, and that was one of the kindest things Cilian had ever done for him.

Wongers gave him instructions so he could make more Metamorphics, and Pallas sent him off with a few more words about his future.

Nothing could have prepared Etienne for the Metropolis or the way they used magic users, or the way those with magic operated. He was not Zenith, so he was not coveted for his future sight, but he still found places to learn and help out.

It was fast, busy, and vibrant, and he tried being a Littlefang first while he was there, but though they were a sleek breed and nimble, it was just... Off.

From there he tried a Ragdoll and it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't too good either, but he didn't get too long to figure that out.

Because then the Metropolis erupted into chaos as Starmoore Industries literally burned to the ground and suddenly the different powers of the Borough were fighting for the vacancy the fall of such a place caused. Many cats fled or hid, and in the chaos, Etienne found a cat.

A Prowler he recognized as the infamous Ransom Starmoore himself, injured and in danger, and Etienne couldn't leave him.

So he helped him and the fled to Cogwheel together, hidden illicitly on a ferry, and on the journey, Etienne turned back into a Prowler. He didn't have Metamorphics for his pelt or his eyes, but a breed change could do a lot, and no one was looking for him.

He thought of what Pallas had told him of his future, looking at Ransom, who needed him, who was lost, hurt, and alone but determined to start over, to wait for the one he loved because otherwise life wasn't worth living, and he couldn't give up.

Etienne stayed with Ransom through it all, through him healing and wanting to start over, using one of Cilian's gifts and turning himself into a Snowfoot, and something was much better about this breed, closest one yet, and yet it was still not quite what he needed.

But his friend's words stuck with him and he had Ransom now too, who needed him and didn't mind if he didn't feel comfortable and changed his breed often, who liked him how he was and was welcoming to the two of them starting over together.

So Etienne stayed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As they built Ironheart together, as Piper and Bigtail came into Etienne's life and they made a home, and soon Pallas, Wongers, and Cilian came to join them, Etienne kept changing.

The old despair was still there, the fears and worries, but having so many cats around him and so much to focus on, it was chased out more often than not. Even as he changed and tried almost every breed in Kotemara, not one minded, no one gave him anything but support.

He found worked, he found the place and cats he was supposed to be with, he even found love. Ransom and Piper, who loved him with all their hearts, no matter what breed he took on. It didn't matter to them and though nothing had felt right so far, their unwavering support and love was a large part of what kept Etienne from giving into his fears and giving up.

And then, one day, he was lucky enough to find a Luna Stone. They were rare; no one knew how to make one, no one knew what exactly went into them, or how to craft them. An incredible part of Kotemara's history gone forever, and Etienne knew the find was incredible.

Somehow, it didn't cost him a fortune; the old Zenith cat who had it looked at him and gave him a price far less than it was worth, despite Etienne trying to argue with him. The best Etienne could do was give him most of his other Metamorphics, along with the silver.

He was scared, to be honest. If this didn't feel right, if a Moontail or a Longhair wasn't right for him, it was a waste of something incredibly precious. But if it was right...

He didn't use it right away. He tucked it away and went about his days, and gave the other breeds a shot. But in the end, there was nothing else to try, and he used it.

He was a Prancer at this point and he felt so large compared to Ransom and Piper, who were sitting with him.

He took a deep breath and placed the Luna Stone on his tongue, the magic bursting through him in a way that was now familiar, the flavors of lavender and cinnamon carrying through him.

He pictured what sort of Moontail he wanted to be- A Silkwing had always impressed him the most, the wings looking just right, and his body began to stretch and change, until...

Etienne looked at himself, at his long, slim legs and matching body, his tail long and glowing, whiskers drifting around him, an odd weight on his back.

He wasn't sure what to do at first, but then he found himself flexing the wings, as if they had always been part of him, instincts taking over, even if he was clumsy.

He fluttered them, then flapped, until his paws were suddenly off the floor and then he dropped, stumbling, stepping on his whiskers. He yelped with the pain, a momentary dark spot in his joy, because Etienne couldn't explain.

This... This... It felt right. More right than anything else had, even a Prowler, and though he was suddenly overwhelmed with the wings and the things he could sense because of the whiskers that kept trailing under his paws, he was also overwhelmed with the feeling that this was what he had been missing his whole life.

He could sense things- air currents and magic, and oh, he had never felt magic like this before, and there were other things in there too- and it was enough to make him want to shout and slap his paws uselessly over his ears, because he had never felt like this before.

It was right but it was overwhelming and he felt like he was going to break somehow quite suddenly, because he had never felt like this before and-

Ransom and Piper, waiting patiently, ready for whatever happened, whatever he did, whatever he chose, caught his attention and cut through the chaos suddenly going through Etienne's mind. He was suddenly afraid they wouldn't like it, wouldn't like him, their expressions hard to read.

"Is this right? Because I can go get the Swap Stone so you can try Longhair-" Ransom began and Etienne began to cry.

"Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong? Is it terrible?" Piper asked immediately, coming over to him, eyes filled with concern.

"N-No. Nothing is wrong." Etienne got out, wiping his eyes with his paw.

"It's right. This is right. It hasn't even been two minutes, but it feels better than anything else ever has, even if everything is so strange right now." he continued, his whiskers tangling under Ransom's paws when his partner sprang forward.

He yowled in pain, instinctively trying to pull back, which made it worse.

"Oh, hell, Etienne, I'm so sorry-"

"Ransom, lift your paws, for heaven's sake!"

"Ow, ow, ow!"

Finally, Ransom scrambled back, and Etienne fell backwards, nursing his new whiskers, breathing through it all.

It took a minute of trying to figure it out, but he got them to float again, which was weird, but also wasn't bad.

"Are you okay?" Ransom asked, crouching in front of him as Piper gently ran her tail down his flank.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Etienne said, rubbing his head against Piper's and then Ransom's.

He purred, tears still pouring down his face, but they were happy tears.

For the first time in his life, he was finally, completely, him.