#metaltango

I know this is another unpopular opinion of mine, but I believe the thing most people get wrong about Krauser is the assumption that he was cruel and forceful with Leon.

We could say that Krauser was demanding and intimidating.

But he was never cruel, or at least never cruel without a reason that had sense in his mind (RE4). If anything, Leon’s memories of those years they shared together as “brothers in arms” are complicated precisely because Krauser was often the only person in a cruel system who wasn’t cruel.

The government had pulled but more so kidnapped Leon out of the ruins of Raccoon City, and forced him into a system with the expectation of weaponizing him. He was only twenty-one years old then: traumatized, exhausted, and carrying a survivor’s guilt that he didn’t know how to process and ends up haunting him for the rest of his life. Then, suddenly he was placed into an environment surrounded by career soldiers who had spent years cultivating a hard-edged masculinity that American military culture rewarded in the early 2000s.

Life in the military system was difficult for Leon, because he stood out.

If not the youngest in that group, he was definitely in the younger demographic. Age, in most cases, was used as an indicator of experience and vulnerability.

He was attractive (canonically proven in both game dialogues and novelizations), but in a softer and more feminine leaning “pretty” way. The fact that he kept his boy band hair amidst a sea of buzz cuts really didn’t help him blend in as well.

He was quiet, introvertedly reserved in a way that made him feel out of place. A type of quiet that people with ill intent often mistook for weakness.

He was too polite, he exhibited a type of mannerism that made him too civilian in a den of hardened career soldiers. He felt unqualified for the role he was forced into. While others had years of experience and were most likely willing and eager participants in this system, Leon was only a rookie cop with one day of unofficial field experience under his belt. Although the government saw potential in him, but Leon believed that he only survived out of sheer luck and determination.

When Leon joined the program, the whispers probably started almost immediately. Comments were probably made about his appearance and the way he carried himself. There would’ve been rumours (half-truths) about Leon’s background - the ones that always came wrapped in plausible deniability.

Then jokes would be made; the sort of jokes everyone was expected to laugh at, because of the toxic military culture and the toxic masculinity that thrived within it. It was the kind of environment where nobody wanted to be the target, so they made sure somebody else was.

It began as something passive aggressive, then it became something of undeniable intent. Leon most likely quickly learned that softness was weakness: something that was interpreted as an invitation and something that people wanted to exploit.

However, to me, Krauser saw it as neither. He only saw Leon’s inexperience as a weakness, but never his kindness. Although they were in an environment that made kindness impossible, it would really be ridiculous to claim that no one appreciated kindness.

I headcanon that, Krauser most likely observed the harassment and hazing from a distance. He was a soldier, not a babysitter. These were all adult men and capable individuals of setting boundaries and protecting themselves, so he will let the men be men. However, he made his stance known during the first time somebody got extra handsy with Leon during a gathering after training.

Krauser appearing seemingly out of nowhere. There were no shouting or dramatic confrontation. It was simply just a heavy hand settling on Leon’s shoulder. Then, a look - a warning - at the other soldier, which made them backed off immediately.

Krauser didn’t even acknowledge what had happened. These types of harassments and attempts at SA were too common in this system. These individuals all had backgrounds and a worth associated to them that would’ve protected them from misconduct anyways. In a system that valued strength above all, Krauser’s only way of ensuring this rookie’s safety was to make him stronger.

This was where the private trainings ordered by the government officials evolved into something more personal. Same blond hair and blue eyes, Krauser probably saw a younger version of himself in Leon. And, this made him protective of him but never in a way that babied him. Krauser’s trainings were harsh because he knew that in order to survive, Leon couldn’t afford any fragility. He gave Leon space and opportunities to grow, never stepping in unless Leon genuinely needed it.

Whenever the line between teasing and harassment was crossed, Krauser was always there. In the form of a glare. In the form of a threat delivered in that calm voice with an aura of deadly terror. Or it could be in the form of simply positioning himself beside Leon until the problem disappeared.

And it was this contradiction, between the unspoken care affirmed by action and a distant stoic silence, that made Leon question the nature of the relationship between them.

Because the same man who could tear him apart during training exercises would later notice the most insignificant things, such as every injury sustained and when he skipped a meal.

The same man who barked orders in front of everyone else would quietly ask how the injuries were recovering and if the nightmares were getting worse.

The same man who embodied the presentation of a stereotypical hardened soldier somehow understood consent and boundaries better than the majority of the men around him.

However, in Leon’s intial confusion, Krauser never assumed. Never pushed. Never demanded. Because consent mattered to him in an environment where they had forfeited their bodies to the system. And especially because he knew exactly how vulnerable Leon was, this vulnerability was what made their relationship possible in the first place. Krauser didn’t want to be seen as a protector and felt like he was owed something, he’s a soldier by choice and by extension he offered protection because he wanted to.

Another reason why Leon would’ve been confused and hesitant was because, under different circumstances, Leon isn’t sure he would have ever looked twice at another man in such a way. Before, he assumed this feeling towards the same sex was admiration and not attraction. He had always gravitated towards women, because it was expected by the natural social norms of society. However, Krauser complicated things.

Instead man vs woman, Leon developed feelings for Krauser because he was the first person since Pre-Raccoon City who made him feel safe. And Krauser also shared similar experiences where he understood what it was like to carry things nobody else could understand: survivor’s guilt. trauma, how soldiers learned to bury pain under discipline.

And in private, Leon discovered a side of Krauser almost nobody else ever saw: a man who observed more than he assumed and listened more than he spoke.

A man who remembered the things that the system deemed insignificant: birthdays, favourite colours, comfort meals, cherished memories, and all the things that weapons couldn’t afford to keep as part of their identity.

A man who stayed awake when his fellow men were unable to sleep: tending to the wounded, consoling the terrified, and switching with the exhausted and keeping guard instead.

A man who kept a respectable distance with everyone. Never crossing boundaries - never making jokes or gestures, no matter the nature of its intention. Everything was conducted with a sense of righteousness that brought unexplainable comfort in such a rigid system with oddly many dubious instances.

The public version of Jack Krauser was a weapon, but he was a guardian in private. And, Leon loved both. However, the problem with this relationship was also how Leon could never quite knew which version of Krauser he was going to get. Some days Krauser looked at him discreetly with a softness that made his chest ache. Other days Krauser would build walls so high he couldn’t reach him at all.

As a summary, to Leon, Krauser was many things and all at once. He was: a mentor, a partner, a superior, and a confidante who occasionally was a lover. It was because just how much Krauser had filled in the absent roles in Leon’s life, that’s why Leon could never fully untangle his feelings for this man.

Even after their chapter had ended after Operation Javier and the eventual duel to the death of RE4, Leon still looks back on those years. He remembers the confusion, the loneliness, the fear…but more than anything, he remembers that whenever the world seemed determined to make him feel small, there was one person who always stepped between him and whatever was trying to hurt him.

And those memories and realization pains him even more as that person never quite knew how to stop hurting himself. So, this is why Leon keeps on carrying on. He forces himself to carry on no matter the situation. All his bones could be broken. He could be suffering severe damaging organ failure. He could be in a situation where all hope has been lost. But he still carries on.

…