#metahima

YCH Commissions from dA!

I’m so sorry this took so long to upload, but I really hope you like it! Thank you for the prompt, too. I liked writing this, and it’s got me back into writing after a while of not having any time.

Enjoy :)

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‘YOU NEED TO GO’ - METAHIMA

The door slipped open as she knocked, the latch giving way with a satisfying click. But it was a sound both promising and terrifying; it filled her with a sense of sincere determination that everything might be planned out, as well as the terrifying thought that the place was empty.

Himawari took her first careful step onto the threshold and felt the prickles of the door-mat eat their way through the weak soles of her shoes. She could hear her pulse rattling in her ears; a constant drum, a metronome keeping her reckless movements in time with the million worries of her mind.

“Metal..?”

The word came out softly but rattled around the hallway walls eerily, and the darkness that shrouded her didn’t help her nerves.

“Metal?” she repeated. “Are you here?”

Slowly she moved on, running one hand along the smooth cream walls, the other nestled safely in her pocket. Upon turning the corner that lead towards the living room, she felt her body freeze and jump.

There he was.

On the fifth carpeted step of the stairs the young man had taken his place. His nobbled fingers smothered his face, fingertips pulling at a fringe that stuck to his forehead slightly with what she assumed was sweat or tears. The faint light that slithered through the shutters hit his forehead, reflecting off of the gleaming beads so his head shined as she stared. Bare feet and messy hair, it looked as through he had only just woken, but at three-thirty in the afternoon, she knew for sure he hadn’t.

The boy was a mess.

“Hey,” she whispered, stepping through the dim light towards him. “Look, I know you said to leave you alone but I…” Feeling her voice about to crack, she stopped. “I was worried about you.”

Metal raised his head, clenching his fists. Bloodshot eyes bore into her, banging on her heartstrings with the a solemn note of guilt. “You don’t have to check on me, Himawari. I’m not your boyfriend anymore - I’m not your problem.”

“Yes, you are. You broke things off without explaining and according to Shikadai you haven’t left your house in days. Something is wrong.” Her footsteps were mere shuffles as her feet brushed the carpet. “Please, Metal, just talk to me.”

Nonchalantly he shook his head.

For a moment, Himawari paused, waiting for an answer that she knew wasn’t going to come. It was a while until she spoke again with a sigh, her hands linked in front of her. “Where are your parents?”

Again, all Metal could do was shake his head helplessly. “I don’t know,” he moaned. “They just left last night. Off to meet someone…somewhere?” His tone was unconvincing, and the pain in the young man’s voice set Himawari even more on edge. “Oh, I don’t know - I wasn’t really listening.”

“You should’ve been, Metal, they’re your parents.”

His eyes met hers again and she slowly sat herself on the step beside him.

“I mean, if it were my dad—”

“‘Your dad’ what?” spat Metal. A disgraced and upset glare shot from his eyes at her, piercing her safety bubble in preparation for his words to hit. “Your dad manages to fuck up everything, Himawari - everything under the bleeding sun! Think about it: we had plans, we had love, we had everything. And what does Naruto do?”

“Metal—”

“He jumps in and tramples it all to nothing in one big step!”

Himawari’s eyebrows knitted together with concern. “My father is a good man, he—”

“Maybe he is, but it doesn’t matter!”

“Of course it does!”

“No, Hima,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes again, “it doesn’t.”

When he looked up and over to her, he felt his stomach flip and fall. Damn, was she beautiful - a gem of the world, the best part of his existence and the bane of his sanity. Not a week ago she had been his and in his arms, and the pair had kissed and shared the loving connection they had for so long, but now…now things were different.

It was then he knew he’d fucked up.

There was no polite way of putting it, no point in trying to polish the crap he’d made to be something new or more appealing. He knew he was stupid to break up with her, and he wished he hadn’t. To Metal, she was the best thing in the world. Himawari was always number one - what was wrong with him?

The blue eyes he’d seen crinkle with a smile more times than not sat shallow beneath her raven bangs, reflecting the light off like a mirror with nothing behind it but confusion. She looked so sad, so low, so confused…and it was all his fault.

He always did this. Somehow he could always count on himself to upset her one way or another, even if it was usually with the help of other people (typically her father or her brother). It hurt to see her sad or crying, but to know that those tears were the result of his own idiocy was enough to make him feel like drowning himself in them.

After a long time, staring into the face he loved so much, he sniffed and pulled himself together.

Croaking, he began to talk again, “Clearly, I don’t belong with you as part of your family. I don’t fit in. Yes, I love you - I adore you, everything about you - but I can’t keep hurting you anymore. I can’t keep letting your dad get the better of me and leaving you, hurting you, messing up your life. Cause that’s what I am. I’m a joke and I’m a mess…you deserve better, Hima.”

Usually her tongue would click and she’d ramble on about his brilliance and his perfect ways no matter how stupid he could be, but not today. Today, she let out a gentle sigh and rested her chin on a delicate hand, her eyes trained on him with disapproval and disbelief. As he rubbed his blood-shot eyes she felt her heart pounding, and the want to take his hand and wipe those tears was almost too overwhelming.

But she managed to hold it in, keeping inside her almost all the emotions bottled up.

Until he looked up, that is.

She’d fallen in love four years ago with the deep, dark brown of those eyes that looked at her full of shame, and she’d swooned over the deep black hair and brows that hung above them. Why she had, he didn’t know? He knew himself as nothing special, and a reject to the academy like his father had been. From day one, in every sense, he had been incredibly different - a loser.

And from day one, as much as she would complain sometimes, she had loved that he was one.

Metal’s bottom lip quivered as he went to answer her stare with an apology, but for quite what he didn’t know. The stare was confusing, almost menacing, but still he felt it well deserved. His lips parted to make the first sound, but nothing came out, and then she took her moment.

Swooping in, Himawari held his neck, running her thumb gently across the sharp curve of his jaw as she pressed a soft, gentle kiss on those parted lips. It had been only days since she’d felt the sensation, however it felt like years to her somehow, and definitely way too long. She’d missed that sweet sickness at the bottom of her stomach that the swarm of butterflies made. It was a feeling she’d thought would die down, but with every kiss only grew stronger, even now that it was meant to all be over.

She pulled away slowly, still holding his chin to look at her. “You need to go,” she whispered. Her eyes were soft and narrow, her tone firm. “You need to go and tell the truth to my dad. Tell him everything you want, you need and you feel. Tell him to please stop getting involved with us ‘cause it’s only hurting us more over and over again…”

“No, Himawari…”

“Yes, Metal.” Carefully she took his free hand in hers and squeezed it encouragingly. “Don’t speak or say what you’re thinking because you’re more than good enough for me, and even if you weren’t I wouldn’t let that change anything. I’d still love you as I do now. So shut up, grow a pair and tell Dad straight up what’s wrong.” A smile creeped onto her lips cautiously. “He’ll have a lot of respect for your truth, I reckon.”

Metal bit down on his lip, flickering his gaze away. “No, really. I can’t—”

“You’re doing it!” she barked, making the boy jump out of his skin and almost up a few steps. “I’ll lead you there and I’ll lead you back here. I’m not letting you give up, Metal. Got it?”