This weird little random ship broke my art block and got me to write mean park smut

God bless fandom

Because the other option for that title is that Brendon is one of those performing mermaids at aquariums and I would also be super on board for that, just so you know.

So not quite a hockey AU, but they both belong to the same hockey beer league!

Brendon is a true ortho bro who likes to go to the gym and play soccer and hockey on his days off, and has belonged to this rec team for over a decade. Emma grew up playing ice hockey with her older brothers and cousins, and played on the rec league at the local rink until she was in high school.

Her family have always been big supporters of Michigan sports teams, including the men's ice hockey team. After a few months of run-ins in the emergency department when Dr. Park comes down for a consult, Emma finally figures out why he looks so damn familiar: the Brendon Park she remembers playing center Michigan's forward line is the same Brendon Park who scares everyone when he comes down to set a broken bone, or evaluate an amputated limb.

There’s no reason this year is going to be different; even though he’s decided to go all out on his costume, even fitting a battery back into his jacket for the sparking plasma ball he’s carrying around, the rest of the costume is probably too understated for anyone to guess it. It’s a shame, because it’s one of his best yet, and while stumping people can be fun, Reid would be delighted that he’s managed to put something together someone recognised.

“Oh, hey Nik!” Luke says brightly, when he spots Reid.

Reid frowns, flexing his fingers around the plasma ball, making the purple colour arc around. Luke strides over, closing the gap between them as the rest of the party-goers mill around.

“Nikola Tesla, right?”

Reid can feel himself beaming, under the fake moustache. He glances over Luke’s outfit, unsure what to make of the bandana, sunglasses and fur coat, with no shirt underneath. Luke’s looking at him expectantly. Reid is going to have to utter those words he’s heard so many times over the years, sheepishly;

“What are you supposed to be?”

— — —

In real life, my name is Frank. (Or, I mean, when I went to school I was, but I haven't been in a school in several years.)

Geralt can't, because he caught a glimpse down Jaskier's shirt and is having a fit.

Jaskier: Talk dirty to me, Geralt.

Geralt: ...

Jaskier: Come on, lay the most shameful thoughts you have on me. Tell me about your sordid desires.

Geralt: I love you. Most ardently. Nothing in the world could make me happier than holding you close and treating you with the adoration you deserve every single day. But I shall continue to love you without expectation of recompense or demanding of favours of any kind, for your mere presence uplifts my very soul.

Jaskier: ...

Jaskier: *passes the fuck out*

Best part is it doesn't even have to be just a ship thing, it fits in canon so well because Hotch is one of the few people who can cut off Reid's rambling gently without it being hurtful and he follows along with the rambling pretty much all the time

So I like to imagine they end up with various words or phrases that are just.....so far out of context for others but for them it's a callback to some other time they were talking about stuff and ended up in a far out tangent

(it's also just a ship thing, I love them too)

omg yes absolutely!!

i imagine hotch tries to keep up with spence as much as possible, so he reads a lot more and then they talk about the stuff he learned and have discussions that lead them to have their own inside jokes!!

as i have stated once before they’re both huge nerds even if aaron doesn’t necessarily show it but...he is. so when they talk they get lost in their own little world and i adore the thought of it 🥺

😂😂😂😂 is this payback for making you read all those lines from the cursed fic?

“Morgan, I’m not joking. I’m 92% positive I have a bigger dick than you.” Emily said. For someone on her 2nd bottle of wine it was actually very impressive that she was able to speak without slurring her words at all.

“No, Prentish, that’s not, it’s not, thas not da truth.” Morgan however was having a much harder time trying to be coherent. He was far drunker than he’d meant to get; but that was what happened when you went out with Emily Prentiss to drown your sorrows.

“It is true, I know it’s true cuz if you had even half the dick I had, you would have told Garcia how you felt before she went out with Kevin tonight.” Emily swayed a little in her seat. “If you could’ve just manned up you’d be on that date with her, and I’d be home playing with my cat right now and I don’t mean Sergio. ‘Stead I’m here in this dive bar getting drunk on bad wine.” Emily glared at the nearly empty bottle in front of her.

Morgan groaned. He was already feeling bad, he didn’t need the images Emily was planting in his head. She was right though, he should have told Garcia how he felt way before this Kevin dude entered the picture. It shouldn't have taken another guy asking Penelope out for him to realize he had more than platonic feelings for the bubbly blonde analyst. "Next time, I'm going out with Reid. He wouldn't yell at me and make me talk about feelings." Morgan enunciated slowly.