#mercenarysiblings

Looked at all the soldiers in the tavern from the brim of his deep hood; they all looked ready to go home as much as he wanted.  Some of their weary eyes were cast in his direction. They all knew who and what he was, and why he was there. But even still Ras kept his horns broken and his body covered; if only to give them some false comfort that maybe their higher ups didn’t send for a demon to help win this war. 

But someone who looked like a lost limb in a den of wolves had wandered into the inn and it pulled Raserei away from his pity on the soldiers. The traveler smelt...off. 

Cleric Dalca-Gagnon caught the courier on his way through the castle. Another letter from Effron to his man, no doubt. He didn’t send letters often, Guy’d noticed, not nearly often for the sultry love-affair he’d envisioned for Effron anyway. But, he did send the short little notes with surprising regularity.

It didn’t take much for the cleric to misdirect the poor boy into releasing the letter for a few moments, so Guy might slip his own note in the parcel containing Effron’s. A polite “I think you dropped this,” and the boy was on his way without a second thought.

Guy hoped the note would be enough. It had been more vague than he’d wanted it to be, but it had to fit with Effron’s note. Just enough to establish a line between him and Danial.

Effron laughs, a little embarrassed. “I thank you. Perhaps you two were right and I should have entered the actual competition.”

In the back, Guy, carrying the drinks shouts, “Yes! You should have!”

OOC: Gonna do both! [Cuz reasons]

Thorn: Effron surprises himself with how quickly he manages to pull it off, but when he takes her hand he manages to bow low and press a polite kiss to the back of it before she pulls away. He flinches when she threatens to slap him, and nearly falls over when she shoves him aside, but Effron thinks it’s worth it, if it means showing the mercenary a little innocent affection.

The huge taxidermy bear wobbled dangerously on its stand when Effron leaned against it. He probably should have moved and sat against the wall half a bottle ago, but just couldn’t find it in him to care about whether or not he accidentally destroyed some of the dead lord’s property.

Velibor’s death meant he had to go back to Castle Quick and for some reason that prospect terrified him now. For weeks all he’d wanted was to get back to his projects and routine, but now...

Now drinking seemed like a much better option than thinking about it.

He was down to his last bottle; an expensive raspberry and rosewater concoction he’d pulled from the small chilled bar in the drawing room. It wasn’t as sweet as it smelled and the bitter burn made him cough until he slowed down in his consumption of it.

 Effron ran the tip of his finger along the mouth of the bottle as he set it down on the floor. His last day of freedom and this was how he was going to spend it? Drunk and in the shadow of a bear? He felt so pathetic.

Adalyn felt numb and ached at the same time. The world didn’t move and yet it spun faster than the speed of light, blurring her thoughts and feelings with the tears on her cheeks.

She stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom, arms spread out to the side, hair splayed out around her head like she had been shot and blood was pooling out from her head. Bandages covered her arms, her shoulder, her stomach and her legs, eyes as red as the specks that soaked through the white and out to the surface.

Inside, she wasn’t nearly as still. Inside she was shaking and crying and screaming but, when she was forced to her limit, she shut down and blocked out the world. Inside she could feel her heart breaking and her confidence faltering.

She had always known there was dangers in being yourself- especially when yourself wasn’t as ‘normal’ as the brutes wanted her to be- and she had always known that not everyone could be won over with a smile. She had experienced hate- shouts and shoving and mild aggression- before and she had scrapped with the dogs on the floor but for different reasons.

Now, not only was her body under attack but her entire being and it hurt. It hurt like drowning only to wake up and find that you have to go through it again and again and again, finding no rest or peace or comfort anywhere.

Her shirt and jeans had been discarded as soon as she had gotten the chance, the white writing like a neon sign to remind her of why she was so afraid to be her.

Her entire wardrobe was unbearable to see now. Sayings and jokes that she had loved to show weren’t things to be proud of and were things to be scared of. ‘I am as straight as my hair’. ‘Lesbionage’. ‘Nobody knows I’m a lesbian’. Even the shirt Danial had got her for Christmas one year- ‘my girlfriend got seven headshots on me, is stubborn as hell and is my best friend’s sister but I still love her’- made her wince.

It had been hard to go out that evening and act like nothing was wrong. It had been tough to wear one of those shirts and pretend she was still as bold and proud as she had been. Truthfully, she hadn’t even wanted to go but it was an annual get-together and it would have been more suspicious if she hadn’t gone.

Questions about not replying to calls or texts had been answered by a dead phone. Queries about how she was had been answered with lies and false smiles. Even when someone brought up Thorn, her smile was a lie like the rest of her.

I am proud of me. I am proud to be me. I am proud of me. I am proud to be me.

She didn’t feel it even though she told it to herself over and over, lights in her room turned down low, bed linen changed so it wouldn’t smell like Thorn, five empty beer bottles on the bedside table and a bucket on the floor. ~ “Do you mind if you don’t come over today? I’m not feeling great.” Adalyn lied, phone on speaker, the sun stuck behind her undrawn curtains as she curled up on the sofa, laptop balanced on the coffee table so she could watch her films.

She couldn’t handle seeing Thorn. Not today. Not when her lungs threatened to burst and her stomach turned at the mere thought of even looking at the woman, let alone spending time together like they did.

“Are you alright?” Thorn asked, voice a little garbled by the connection. Of course Thorn would see through her disguise; Thorn was the master of walls around emotions and the blunt tone to Adalyn’s voice was clear, even through the effort she put in to make herself sound realistic.

“I’m just feeling a bit sick; that’s all. I was going to sleep most of the day and I know you have things to do.” That wasn’t completely a lie. She did feel sick and she was going to sleep most of the day and Thorn did have things to do but it wasn’t honesty either.

As soon as Thorn agreed, she hung up and switched off her phone, ignoring Danial’s text as it came in. She pressed play on her film, pulled her blanket up to her chin and watched it, disconnected from the world around her.

It was easier that way. Blocking everything out was simple but it meant that she was alone with her thoughts so that’s where the films came in. It didn’t matter if she could recite all the lines backwards for fun, it was a distraction from that.

It didn’t work. Every onscreen punch was like a real one and each drop of blood tore at the remaining foundations that Adalyn had until she slammed the lid shut and sat, shaking and silent.

She could hear the calls, see the glares and feel each blade against her skin, tearing at her until she felt like she was falling apart.

I am scared of me. I am afraid to be me. I am scared of me. I am afraid to be me.

That was the worst part of all when it finally sank in: she was afraid to be herself in a way she had never thought even possible before.

((This one is Danial, FYI.))

((Rough headcanon: Adalyn and Sand first met when she stole a lot of things from his shop and got prosecuted. When it was discovered that actually he was her father, he dropped the charges and it was a massive news story for a good few months after. They still sometimes get photographers taking pictures when they go out for coffee or something.))

((I wonder what that shady idiot is up to now...))

((Illindriel and Adalyn get along and Sand hates it soooo much.))