#mental check

But honestly it gets alot easier to let go of when you realize that you literally have no final say on whether someone finds you desirable

There are people walking around that are attractive to me,they do not know this they just are,nor would I approach these people saying "I find you attractive, I wish to continue to find you so, therefore don't change an entire thing"

That person I'm attracted to could dye their hair a different color,or start wearing a different style of clothing, and how attractive I find them could change or could not and they have absolutely no control over that

So its really frustrating to see women be so distressed and trying to conform to whatever blah standard hoping that this will somehow attract the person ie the man they find themselves attracted to (& sometimes not even a particular man,women abuse themselves alot and will objectify themselves for a gutter rats attention, it's sad)

My feelings are my own, that person has no responsibility to live up to that,so in turn why would I try to live up to some imaginary standard?

Adoration can feel like love when you don't know better but it truly is empty without the substance of being known, being desired does not mean you are respected,it doesn't mean you're loved,it doesn't mean anything thats actually important or sustainable

And it's important for me to remember that being desired by men in our current society will translate into some level of objectification

mine, All of the above - trash 😅🤌🏼

BUT!! Have you heard Harry’s House 😍🤌🏼🤌🏼😅 CHEFS KISS 🫶🏼☁️🫶🏼 I love 💗

Marius: Wracked with Guilt and Self-Loathing

Marius is in a state of severe emotional distress. He carries the psychological weight of being the one to kill Ireena, an act she begged him to perform to save her from a "fate worse than death," but one that has left him "bloodied in spirit". He is further destabilized by Strahd’s personal curse that he will remain "unloved, unwanted, forever". His mental landscape is dominated by the fear that he is becoming the very monster he hunts.

Izek Strazni: Instinctual, Feral, and Fragile

Izek’s mental status is precarious and animalistic. Following his transformation into a vampire spawn, he has been reduced to a "skeletal," rasping creature driven by a predatory "Thirst". He suffers from a loss of identity and recognition, showing no sign of knowing his sister, Celeste, yet he retains "flickers" of his former self through his obsessive protective instincts and a youthful, competitive rivalry with Elrohir. He is currently hiding from social interactions, choosing to "lock himself in a room with a stray cat" rather than face complex emotions.

Celeste: Resilient but Haunted by "The Darkest Gift"

Celeste is determined but burdened by immense trauma. She is plagued by grief over the death of Karl Watcher and the realization that she "fell" when she chose to consume the tongues (souls) of her enemies for power. While she has chosen to "rise again" under the guidance of Uno, she is still followed by the "terrifying" psychological presence of Nibble, whom remains on her mind. Her mental state is currently focused on the "weight of broken promises" and the desperate need to save her brother.

The Mad Mage (Kain): Fragmented and Terror-Stricken

Kain is psychologically unmoored and suffering from "nightmaric" insomnia. After permanently sacrificing his memories to save Riley, he is "done with chasing the past" but has no foundation for his current identity. He is paralyzed by a nightmare where black sand pours from Riley's eyes and mouth, representing his failure to protect her. His trauma has caused his magic to "backfire" and "twist into horrors" like suffocation and sinking sand, leading him to refuse to sleep entirely.

Elrohir: Detached and Increasingly Corrupted

Elrohir’s mental status is defined by emotional detachment and creeping corruption. As a being of the Feywild, they lack the emotional framework to understand human love or grief, leading to a sense of isolation within the party. More concerning is the loss of control over their own magic; their echoes have become "malicious reflections" with blackened eyes that act with independent violence, such as when one stabbed the Mad Mage.

Merlin: Vigilant, Predatory, and Deeply Lonely

Merlin is hyper-vigilant and anchored by ancient loneliness. While he maintains a mask of "surgical precision" in controlling his thirst, he is secretly terrified by a "clicking" stalker that follows him, fearing it reflects his own growing bloodlust. His mental stability depends entirely on his hope that Caelum is the reincarnation of his husband, a fixation that mirrors Strahd’s own obsession with lost souls.

Vestri: Steadfast but Guarded

Against this dual oppression, the surviving heroes fracture. Celeste, torn between celestial guidance and predatory hunger, descends into soul-consuming desperation before choosing redemption. Kain, having sacrificed his own memories to save a friend, unravels into sleepless madness, his identity dissolving into nightmare. Around them, others bargain, compromise, and blur the line between survival and corruption. The question emerges: what separates hero from villain when both commit unforgivable acts?

The answer lies not in purity, but in response. Villains justify and entrench their sins; heroes confront them. To fall is inevitable—what matters is the decision to rise again.

From this fragile moral ground, hope takes shape. The party learns that Strahd’s true power is systemic, bound to the land itself through three corrupted ancient spirits. Think about the geopolitics of tyranny. A tyrant needs to control the environment to maintain absolute power. Restoring them offers not just a tactical victory, but a philosophical one: freeing a world that, like its people, has been forced into submission.

Yet the story’s heart is quieter. Between horrors, the characters endure through small, human moments—shared watchfires, whispered plans, the crafting of weapons in the dark. These bonds, messy and imperfect, stand in stark contrast to the isolation of their enemies. Where tyrants rule alone, the broken survive together.