#memomry

Ms. S was working as a temporary staff member at my former workplace.

Ms.S was a cheerful, always smiling person with five children.

One day, she said, “ I wanna divorce my husband.”

Since she said such a thing so openly and lightly, I thought she was a refreshing person.

I do not remember how long she worked there, but she finally decided to leave the workplace to work at a new place close to her house as a full-time worker.

I think I heard about her new career after her divorce had been settled. And our conversation took place in the ladies’ room.

Her divorce was settled. She got a new job. Her five children will join her household.

Her eldest child was still underage. She still needed to take care of her children, but she looked excited about her future.

Her divorce and new job came to her. Her ex-husband was to leave their house and she and her children would stay there. I vaguely thought that her life was heading toward a positive direction, even though I did not know about all the details about her situation.

On her last day at my former workplace, I sent my team an email saying “I am leaving soon” 　because I was leaving earlier on that day.

Ms.S’s boss read the email and talked to me with kindness, saying “Today is Ms.S’s last day. Talk to her before you leave.”

So I spoke to her and she was ready and smiling.

She said, “Yuri, I have had this thing I wanted to tell you. Many things happened after I became thirty years old. So you will never know what will happen.”

She did not mean to scare me. I guess she meant “Many fun things will happen to you from now on. So, look forward to them.”

So I asked her, “How old were you when you had your first child?”

She said, “Thirty-two.”

Since then, she got five children and was still raising them. She transformed from a temporary worker to a full time worker. Well, no one knows what is going to happen. I could see that she was excited.

This is something I said to her in the ladies’ room when she had told me about her career decision, but I said the same thing to her.

“You should buy a package of lottery tickets.”

Since many things were going forward in her life, I thought that good things would happen to her.

Now. I found this writing about Ms.S, which I wrote a few years ago and am preparing to upload on my blog.

I have been wondering about my life.

What will I do? What do I want to do? How can I be happy? Well, if I am happy now, isn’t my happy now bringing an appropriate future? But what do I want to do now?

Sometimes I think, “Well, I will figure it out at some point.” Sometimes I fall in a labyrinth.

When I am in the labyrinth, I will remember,

“Yuri, I have had this thing I wanted to tell you. Many things happened after I became thirty years old. So you will never know what will happen.”

17 de febrero del 2019