#melimelu

oh i relate to this a lot & wish i had more to offer :( i try to jolt myself around w/ sensory input esp smell/taste like fresh fruit melting some frankincense or applying cool perfume (which can point me to other self-care/hygiene stuff).

<33 thank you, i appreciate whatever you can recommend

yep so on some level every abstract concept we use is a heuristic rather than a picture-perfect illustration of what truly exists. even hard science can’t work w/o heuristics tho.

!!!! ok

so sorta like... models? like how h2o doesn't actually look like a mickey mouse, but that's how we conceptualize it.

"heuristic" is a super useful word when keeping perspective on how ppl talk (for better or for worse) about oppression! or "gender" lol also yes iphone is the best ever extension of my disableded brain

the prof didn't explain it super well - he said a heuristic was a 'cognitive shortcut', is that approximately it?

#16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

This is going to be a weird response as there have been plenty of fun and chill and yay good times parties but I'm going to interpret BEST as more personally transforming. For background, at this point in my life, I had started hormones without telling my parents, I didn't pass, I hated college and was on the verge of dropping out, I had fallen deeply in love with a woman who for many reasons couldn't give me what I was looking for and on top of that the general stress of college and transition. I was a fucking mess. My friend KC and I decided to basically fuck ourselves up by taking as many drugs as we could. We are/were both types prone to self-destruction and depression and at the time we were working together on a major project for our dorm so we were stressed as all hell and under the idea that doing healthy and sane things for yourself is for pussies or whatever. #selfcare

So we starting ingesting substances matching each other one by one until I had a hit of salvia and launched into outer fucking space. Like the extent to which I had to reorganize reality piece by piece I can't really describe to you but let's just say I had to be re-acclimated to the ideas that time existed and that bodies were finite and that mortality was a thing. The process was very trying and difficult (realizing I was trans again really hurt) but KC took care of me like a champ and I finally broke the spell of being in love with this woman and realized what I needed to be focusing on in myself. We stayed up until the morning talking about our bullshit revelations and then decided to drive to Rhode Island w/ some friends for diner food for some fucking reason. We got back to Boston around noon completely wiped and delirious. That night solidified KC as a friend for lyfe. I started that party in bafflement and pain consciously wanting to hurt myself and ended that night feeling better that I had some hope and direction. It was a powerful night.

"once" is about right lol

ugh article is absolute shit too & ppl who photoshop "cock-starved exhibitionist" onto a pic of JMB's child daughter is rly in no position to criticize tumblrish activism. not to mention the shit abt benefitting from het male priv for decades.