I was really wondering during the original version of the show that Spark Man appeared very briefly in Mega-Pinocchio, and that he wasn’t present in the Recut version. So I was curious to wonder if you were originally going to have him in the Recut version of Mega-Pinocchio or just giving him his main appearance in Cold Steel by any chance to flesh out characters with Gemini & Gyro rather than with Magnet & Ring Man due to have four guest Robot Masters in Mega-Pinocchio.
(have to think back here) I noted he was there, but I was already thinking of Cold Steel as a set, and debuting him in Mega-Pinocchio didn’t feel natural. It can also be tricky incorporating additional characters while keeping length down (with the current cast size I cut soooooo many things yet the chapters are still very long ;_;)
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I don't actually hate the Mega Man cartoons, I promise.
BLACKRUSSIAN PRESENTS: MEGA MAN, THE POCKET SCRIPT Episode 3: MEGA-PINOCCHIO
EXT. DR. PETTO'S WORKSHOP (LIKE GEPPETTO, GET IT?)
RING MAN Did you know in the original teleplay for this episode I showed up disguised as a teenager? Pretty cool, huh?
RING MAN'S HOOLIGANISM bamboozles the SECURITY GUARD, helping CUT MAN AND GUTS MAN break into DR. PETTO'S LAB.
INT. DR. PETTO'S LAB
DR. PETTO I'm just your typical absent minded scientist bumbling around in my lab at midnight, hum de dum dum dum.
MEGA MAN shows up in the nick of time to rescue DR. PETTO from being kidnapped by DR. WILY's robots and takes him back to DR. LIGHT'S LAB to set up the PLOT.
INT. DR. LIGHT'S LAB
DR. PETTO My function in this plot is to offer Mega Man the chance to become a real human through cybernetic engineering.
MEGA MAN Thanks Dr. Petto, but you're offer is irrelevant to me because I'm happy being a super hero and title character.
DR. PETTO (actual line)
Are you sure you know what 'happy' is?
MEGA MAN Huh, now that's a real stumper.
Later that night, MEGA MAN sneaks off to visit DR. PETTO to get the BICENTENNIAL MAN TREATMENT.
INT. DR. PETTO'S WORKSHOP
MEGA MAN Dr. Petto, will you make me a real boy?
DR. PETTO Why of course, my boy! Despite the fact that you can't see my eyes in this shot, I am totally not sinister.
DR. PETTO shuts MEGA MAN off, then DR. WILY and PROTO MAN step out of the shadows and shut DR. PETTO off, revealing that he was one of DR. WILY'S robots all along, what a twist!
DR. WILY Now that Mega Man is completely vulnerable, I could just instantly reprogram him to my side, but instead I'm going to screw with his head by using my Jedi Mind Trick Helmet because that is the nature of my evil.
DR. WILY plants a mind control chip inside MEGA MAN'S helmet. The scene cuts to DR. PETTO waking MEGA MAN up.
DR. PETTO The blue fairy ruse was a success! You are now human.
MEGA MAN Really? I look and feel exactly the same as I did when I walked in.
DR. WILY (actual line, O.S.)
You feel all mushy und tingly inside.
MEGA MAN (cont.)
...but now I hear Dr. Wily's voice telling me what to think! Gee willikers, being human is so peculiar! I must go tell Dr. Light the good news!
INT. DR. LIGHT'S LAB
MEGA MAN Dr. Petto turned me into a human!
DR. LIGHT I am oblivious and gullible and therefore find nothing odd about this claim.
MEGA MAN Uh oh, Dr. Wily's robots are trying to steal a skyscraper for some dastardly unclear reason! I better put my new human powers which are exactly the same as my old robot powers to the test!
EXT. REALLY TALL PINK SKYSCRAPER
CRASH MAN My contract only allows me to be in this cartoon series for ten seconds.
MEGA MAN intercepts the bombs CRASH MAN fired at the skyscraper, then cracks a joke that even seven-year-olds find lame.
DR. WILY (V.O.)
Don't drop those bombs!
MEGA MAN I better not drop these bombs!
(drops bombs)
Darn, reverse psychology gets me every time!
EXT. ROBOT SCRAPYARD
DR. LIGHT I hope the image of me throwing disembodied robot limbs into a recycler isn't in any way traumatizing to you, my android son.
MEGA MAN I screwed up big time, didn't I?
DR. LIGHT Don't beat yourself up. Blowing up a skyscraper by accident could happen to anyone.
MEGA MAN Am I one of your mistakes?
DR. LIGHT Why of course not! My plans to replace you with Mega Man X have nothing to do with your shortcomings as a robot hero.
MEGA MAN I don't know, doc. My robot side tells me one thing, Dr. Wily's voice says something else. Maybe Proto Man's been right about me all along and I really am evil.
DR. LIGHT Well I wouldn't let your identity crisis get too out of hand--hey, where'd'ya go?
MEANWHILE IN SKULL FORTRESS
PROTO MAN SO. BORED.
INT. DR. LIGHT'S LAB
MEGA MAN eavesdrops on DR. LIGHT wondering aloud if he shouldn’t have programmed MEGA MAN to have FREE WILL.
MEGA MAN (to himself)
Wow, I feel so conflicted...those last two scenes were really heart wrenching. My character might actually be developing, I hope this story arc doesn’t get scrapped by the third act—
IT DOES.
DR. LIGHT Mega Man, what are you doing?
MEGA MAN SO CONFUSED, VOICE INSIDE HEAD COMPELLING ME TO MURDER FAMILY
MEGA MAN dumps DR. LIGHT, ROLL, and RUSH into the STAR WARS TRASH COMPACTOR.
DR. WILY Bwahaha, excellent! Your evil has now transended from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader!
MEGA MAN Apparently so, because I'm going to join you now without a fuss.
PROTO MAN fist pumps briefly until ROLL, DR. LIGHT, and RUSH break out of the TRASH COMPACTOR and GET AWAY.
INT. DR. PETTO'S LAB
DR. LIGHT discovered DR. PETTO is a CHARLATAN...oh, and NOT HUMAN.
DR. LIGHT Looks like Dr. Wily duped me again.
ROLL Now that Mega's fucked up big time, it's my turn to save the episode.
EXT. WASHINGTON D.C.
PROTO MAN I've been thinking. It's too bad the writers couldn't choose one story line for this episode. The Pinocchio plot never gets resolved while your turning evil plot isn't fully explored. Had these plotlines been split into two episodes, Dr. Wily could have just reprogrammed you outright and we could have used the second act to develop our characters as we fight side by side in a reverse Bro Bots episode, adding complexity and conflict to our Real Brother Relationship™ especially when you ultimately go back to Dr. Light--
MEGA MAN (interrupting)
Dude, make no mistake, your screen time plays second fiddle next to mine, Rush's, Minor Ruby-Spears OCs', the Robot Masters', and Roll's, in that order. Just be glad you're not constantly cracking puns about us being brothers or something.
PROTO MAN Whatever. Dr. Wily and the rest of us are going to go off screen now, don't have any sudden changes of heart while we're gone.
ROLL arrives on the scene and has a HEART TO HEART with MEGA MAN.
ROLL Hey, dumbass! Quit listening to Dr. Wily!
MEGA MAN Wait, you're telling me that this voice inside my head that sounds like Dr. Wily is actually Dr. Wily? Holy smokes, didn't see that coming!
Thus with his LAWFUL GOOD alignment restored, MEGA MAN tricks MAGNET MAN into accepting a BRO HIGH FIVE, steals his power, then USES THE FORCE to steal DR. WILY'S JEDI MIND TRICK HELMET (man there are a lot of Star Wars references in this Pocket Script!). MEGA MAN uses the helmet to kick the ever living crap out of CUT MAN, GUTS MAN, and MAGNET MAN before ditching it so he and PROTO MAN can have a FAIR FIGHT.
MEGA MAN Neato, we're fighting in front of the Lincoln Memorial! Do you think this adds a subtle layer of symbolism behind our battle?
PROTO MAN Yeah...it's symbolic for you being a patriotic moron!
MEGA MAN (actual line)
Oh no! He's going to blast President Lincoln!
(gets shot)
PROTO MAN (also actual line)
Ha, I knew you'd risk your life for Mr. Lincoln.
EDDIE Man, how many times do we have to save Mega Man from himself in this episode?
PROTO MAN I hope my fans forget that I get tripped by Eddie in this episode!
(falls down)
With the help of a RED BULL, MEGA MAN recovers enough energy to defeat PROTO MAN, who escapes with DR. WILY.
INT. DR. LIGHT'S LAB
MEGA MAN It's a good thing these episodes aren't serialized or I'd have to take responsibility for all the damage I inflicted on Washington D.C.!
ROLL So what was the moral of all this anyway?
MEGA MAN If a creepy man who lives alone in a puppet shop offers to make you a real boy, stay the hell away from him!
Did any episodes surprise you upon rewatches for any reason?
Well, since I’ve probably rewatched these episodes at least once every year or two for the last eleven years, little surprises me about them. I jumped into Recut knowing exactly what kind of story I wanted, and even after analyzing them with a magnifying glass I don’t have too many new surprises about them.
I’d have to say, in general when I started doing Recut, I was surprised how many plot holes there are in the show (which I’ve avoided sharing because I don’t want to deter anyone’s interest in watching a harmless children’s cartoon.) But let’s talk about specifics (and be less critical!):
References to Self-Determination: The Beginning and Mega-PinocchioGrowing up, I always thought the definition of ‘self-determination’ just meant that you believed in yourself and were very self motivated, but doing research for Recut I found that it’s a philosophical term that defines free will (the definition I’ve chosen to use for Recut.) There is also a psychological theory for self-determination, which you can compare. To be honest, I have trouble wrapping my head around either of these concepts, and am impressed that they used them in a humble children’s cartoon about robots fighting each other. :)
Locations: Bot Transfer, Cold Steel, etc.As shown by my #road trip research, many of the locations Mega Man visits have real life counterparts, and for the most part they are displayed accurately (right down to Geneva’s Old Town having street lamps on wires and clock towers). My biggest surprise was when I stumbled upon the Temple of Music while wandering around Golden Gate Park and realized that it looked like the bandshell Cold Steel plays in.
Probably Biggest Revelation: The Sun-Focusing Laser on the MoonOne of the biggest things I’ve always wrongly assumed about The Mega Man in the Moon is that Dr. Wily built the Sun-Focusing super laser. However, on rewatch, I noticed that’s not the case. Apparently the laser already pre-existed, Wily is just hijacking it. Which leads me to ask: Why the hell is there a city-vaporizing laser on the moon in the first place? Is it for peace-keeping? Is it an anti-Wily defense? If so, how come Skull Fortress is still standing? If not, is it the Ruby-Spears equivalent of Nuclear Missiles, and is this what they use to blow each other up during World Wars?? I cannot be the only one bothered by this! (You can see where I’m going with this in Bot Transfer, Part 3 if you’re curious how this might be handled in Recut. >:) Better look out, world! In 200X we’re getting a “death moon” to keep everyone in line!
That was a tough question, haha! That’s what I can think of off the top of my head.
Oh, one last thing: Guts Man creams a train driver in Showdown at Red Glutch. I think I’ve mentioned that before, but still, I always forget that Cut Man and Guts Man, though idiots, seem to have the best track record for doing evil (though that may be attributed to their sheer screen time)
I have put my foot in my mouth, becaues the painted backgrounds of Mega-Pinocchio are actually very good.
The White House
Capitol Building
It's possible that while writing Mega-Pinocchio part 4, I mixed up the capitol building and the white house a lot. I'm not going to verify right now, but it sounds like a continuity error I'd make.
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