#meeka

I had to say goodbye to Meeka on Tuesday. She had turned 15 only ten days prior, but this past year she's had a lot of problems getting around. Unfortunately when I picked her up from boarding, she'd started to have some issues with diarrhea which I had hoped would be stress colitis and clear up within a few days with some TLC.

By Tuesday, and on the fourth day of cleaning up the kitchen about every hour, and it getting worse, I took her to the vet (who finally deigned to open back up because they took fucking Columbus Day off) so they could get her fluids and try to figure out what was going on.

Her liver numbers came back off the charts, and they were pretty sure they could feel a mass near her liver, in addition to her having pancreatitis. It's never an easy decision to make to say goodbye, but she had been in so much pain those last few days, and there was no way she would have been able to go through and recover from surgery, especially in the area where the mass was in.

It keeps hitting me in waves. I'll be fine for a while, and I think sometimes it feels she's just off sleeping on her bed in the kitchen. Usually when I wake up, or when I go to bed, and especially when I have to feed Griffin, and only put out one dog bowl, and I don't get to hear Meeka sing at me impatiently for her food. God that dog loved food, possibly more than she loved anything else including me. You wouldn't think I would miss having to coax her into letting me give her her eyedrops, or escorting her highness outside because she had stopped being able to use the doggie door these past few months, but god I do.

She was such a good girl, so sweet and gentle, and hated the camera and having her picture taken. She had a funny sibling rivalry with Roxy, but would let Griffin get away with absolute murder, despite him being such a pest to her. Sometimes it was like having a cat rather than a dog, She played with yarn, preferred being near you rather than on you, loved to perch and look out windows, hated baths and preferred to clean herself.

She loved to steal my blankets, all the toys in the house, as a puppy would go run outside to try avoid her bedtime (until we bought her a fancy pink bed with a fuzzy bone and blanket and then bedtime was okay), would go out and stare up at the stars at night, and would snuggle very intensely for like five minutes and then go off and be by herself to try and regain her cool and aloof image.

She once refused to talk to me for three days because I bought a new car and told her we were going "bye bye" and apparently putting her in a different back seat was an unforgivable sin. I once tried to put a hat on her and she sunk to the ground and refused to move a centimeter until I took it off.

She did not bark, but she did yodel and gurgle and make the cutest little vocalizations.

In short, she was the best girl.