#medicationjourney

October 29, 2024, marks my first day on antidepressants.

It’s been a long journey to get here. After my doctor’s visit on October 8th, I finally felt understood—she recognized my situation and felt confident that this was the right step for me.

Because of my ADHD, finding the right medication took some extra time. My doctor explained that the first two weeks on antidepressants could be really tough, especially with ADHD, where side effects are often even more intense. So we needed to find a brand and dose that would work well with ADHD and, ideally, wouldn’t interfere with my stimulant medication.

After what felt like endless calls and waiting, I finally heard back. My doctor said the specialist had approved my starting on Bupropion, a medication often prescribed for both depression and ADHD. In some cases, people with ADHD even use it without stimulants, but in my case, I’ll still take my stimulant medication alongside it.

Right now, I don’t feel much different—no side effects, no noticeable changes yet. So far, so good.

I’ve shared this with a few close friends and family, but I’m still a bit hesitant to tell more people. I’d rather not get pity or be drawn into debates about my decision.

In 2020, I made a significant decision: to stop taking the contraceptive pill I had been using since 2012. My curiosity about how my body would react to its natural hormone production led to this choice, and October 2020 seemed like the ideal moment.

The world was in the midst of a pandemic, and the chaos of information and political changes prompted my mother to want me home. Looking back, I am grateful; being at home during the isolation was a blessing. It seemed like the perfect time: if stopping the pill had adverse effects, my mother was nearby to help. Until 2022, I enjoyed my pill-free life without any issues, until the diagnosis of ADHD and medication crossed my path.

The diagnosis brought relief, but it also meant returning to contraception. Not forced by professionals but driven by the needs of my body. Daily quests to find the right dose of ADHD medication pointed to a connection with my menstrual cycle. Before contraception, my Ritalin dose was 25 mg, sometimes sufficient, sometimes too much. Research, including consulting "Dr. Internet," and discussions with my healthcare providers yielded the same answer: hormonal fluctuations influence ADHD symptoms.

Week 1 after menstruation went well, week 2 was great, week 3 (oestrogen decline) brought unrest, and week 4 (menstruation) was challenging. Two good weeks, two searching weeks.

As an example, without contraception, I would take my first dose of the day around 7:45. I had a routine of arriving at school around 8:15 to start working by 8:30. The Ritalin I use works for a total of 4 hours, and I need to take it every 3.5 hours to avoid it completely wearing off, and I have to wait for the new round to kick in. But in week 3 of my cycle, by 11 am, I was already overwhelmed and overstimulated; my medication wasn't working as it should. Weeks 3 and 4 were filled with emotional fluctuations, and I can tell you, it was not pleasant. Not for me, and certainly not for my friends.

There is little research on ADHD and hormonal influences, but my experience convinces me of a connection. Back on contraception, I experience more stability with my medication—a reassuring factor amid uncertainties. My journey shows that balancing hormones and brains is an art. While researchers explore the connection, I share my story in the hope that others find recognition and that there is more understanding of the complexity of ADHD, hormones, and the quest for stability.

As I navigate between hormones and brains, I realize that we all have unique journeys. My hope is that by sharing this, others feel less alone in their experiences. Let's embrace the complexity of ADHD and hormones and strive for a world where understanding and support are the norm.