#media panic

If you're wondering what all the fuss is about I've just uploaded the track here. Fuck it. But...

FYI before you get all outrage she's the predator…

Eye contact like I mean war / READ: -I- contact like I mean war

Heels sharp, voice well-trained / She's armed & has a practised magic bewitching voice

Private’s where the claws are / She has literally has CLAWS

You’ll never know unless you try / She's baiting him, and not just for sex

I don’t dress up—I dissolve / She literally becomes -something else- when she wants to

Calm on the surface—beast in my mind / She is a monster beneath her human shell

I say yes too fast… and fuck too deep / It's a trap!

I'm your history… you can't clear me / She's going to cause him perm damage

Soft voice, darker needs / She has DARK needs

And I’ll whisper thanks while I feed / She's going to FEED from him, steal his glamour, she's FAE

So if you’re a unique snowflake and you consume only a very small amount of the shared Venn diagram of media that others around you know of, how do you relate to the Others? Only a fool would try to convert their coworkers onto their media diet: not only will your fellow office-drones probably not enjoy that anime where the girls are actually 17th century theories about the nature of the atom, they’ll likely resent you for making them draw their attention away from their own fast-moving fetishization.

No, what people need is a good disaster once in awhile. Huge tidal wave, people testing the structural strength of steel, a big 1980s celebrity crying in court just before being jailed for sex crimes. That’s what pulls us back together, keeps us from sinking beneath the surface of these fractal grain silos of infinitely more intense obsessions. Only through the regular application of horrific disasters can we hope to keep the semblance of a society.

📰 The Southcroft Chronicle

“Gh0stn3t Single Causes Outrage: ‘Porn Disguised As Poetry’” By Ellie Parnham, Culture Editor

Concerned parents and local councillors are calling for the immediate removal of a new single released by shadowy imprint Gh0stn3t Records, describing the track as “filth disguised as fashion” and “a calculated attempt to corrupt digital youth.”

The single, entitled “INCOGNITO (WARNING)” by a figure known only as RAZ, is gaining traction on fringe streaming sites and encrypted social media feeds. Critics say the lyrics “cross every line of decency” while hiding behind “intellectual wordplay and smutty performance art.”

Among the lyrics being quoted in fury:

“I may look like a nerd— But I f** like a pornstar*”

“Pull my hair—your soul might spark And I’ll whisper thanks while I feed.”

One anonymous parent told the Chronicle:

“It’s not music—it’s softcore porn with a backing beat. There are teenagers hearing this thinking it’s okay to behave this way. Where are the adults in the room?”

A local MP has even raised the issue in council, asking Spotify to review whether Gh0stn3t should be allowed to publish further material without a formal age-check mechanism.

RAZ has not responded to requests for comment.

Thank you for joining us, Doctor Hardcase. In your professional opinion, do you think that the time is right for unbridled, shrieking terror the likes of which the American family has never before seen? You do? I’m sorry to cut you off there, Doctor, because we are going live to footage of an autonomous BMW X3 racing out of control through the streets of Los Angeles. This breaking news is brought to you by GoPro, the official camera of “Evidence A.”

As you can now see, the BMW X3 is driving carefully through this suburb, searching for an errant pedestrian to kill. Just minutes ago, its driver fell asleep at the wheel, and the car is now entirely driverless and out for blood. There is nothing we can do now except slowly follow the BMW from Action Chopper One and wait for it to make a fatal mistake. As you can see from the BMW now activating the turn signals and making a polite lane change, no human being is piloting this rolling orgy of death.

Now, the BMW has turned into the garage and parked itself. Doctor Hardcase, how many minutes do we have until the battery banks inside this German Slaughter-Golem burst into roaring lithium fires and consume the entire development? Only a few minutes? You heard the expert, ladies and gentlemen. Soon, soon, you will have a self-reaping car loose across the highways and byways of your very own subdivisions!

"Netflix and chill" concerns make the Sunday Times, moral panic about film streaming spreads across the land. Dying.

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