#mccargent

Mcargent: ‘Twas a dusty day in Beacon Hills. The annual Billy Fest was today, but trouble was afoot. Melissa and Christ were already dressed in their leotards ready for the dance and sing along. They knew all the words and the moves and they were ready to compete against the other couples. They were ready to shine.

Stydia: Stiles called for Lydia. He needed her help adjusting his indigo turtleneck leotard. Lydia’s was already on. He was going to make them late if he didn’t quit messing around. She fixed his straps and kicked his shin for making them rush.

Sandal: Toni Topaz and her girlfriend Candle Beandip were already in full Billy Elliot printed leotards. No matter what the others thought, the girls knew they’d win. They were cheerleaders after all.

Sethan: Sara and Ethan weren’t ready at all. They didn’t even have their leotards on, much less their tutus. They were running out of glitter and time was running out.

Bughead: Betty Cooper helped Cody Martin into his leotard. They’d ordered them a few years in advance and it seemed he’d grown too large for this one. Whatever. They’d all just have to deal with him in a too tight leotard.

Rerica: Out of all of the couples, Rory and Erica were the most hardcore fans. Not only did they dress in full costume, but they’d been rehearsing their performance for months. The total cost of all their costumes and props and special effects was 76 million dollars. They were here to win. This was no game.

Mcargent: The couple held hands as they drove in their lime green convertible tractor trailer truck. The wind blew through their Billy Elliot wigs. They were almost to the post office auditorium. The sun was setting and it was time.

Stydia: The two glided together hand in hand. Their matching turtleneck leotards and their heelies made for a romantic night. Stiles handed Lydia a gift: three diamond studded kung fu panda 2 DVD’s. Lydia began to cry tears of joy. Stiles embraced her and they heelied on to the auditorium.

Sandal: The girls walked down the street while hugging. They were excited for the showing and competition. They already had their tap shoes on. Candle gently placed Toni’s Billy Elliot headband on her head. Toni smiled happily at the kind gesture.

Sethan: They’d finally found their glitter and placed it everywhere on their bodies and costumes. They even put in glitter eye drops and glitter fairy wings. Billy would be proud of them. They were going to crush Billy Fest.

Bughead: Cody martins too tight leotard was starting to squeeze his massive thighs in all the wrong ways. Betty was worried for him. What if he got squeezed to death??? She was close to tears.

Rerica: They were pumped. They’d already drunk five hundred five hour energies so they would stay hype for the night. Rory could feel his heart telling him secrets and Erica had to tell him that if his heart was telling him things that they wouldn’t be secrets anymore. They put on their leg warmers as they flew to the post office. They were determined.

Mccargent: They had taken their seats at the front of the stadium. “Wow, babe,” Chris said. “I can’t believe you took Scort’s money to get us these great seats.” Melissa smiled lovingly. “I took his kidney while he was sleeping and sold it on the dark web.” “Your son, Scalpel, really deserved that. I love you.” “I love you, too.” And the musical started. There was Tom Holland leaping and pirouetting his way to everyone’s hearts. Every couple was sitting in their seats, singing and crying and screaming for Billy. And then it was time for the competition. Melissa and Chris took their seats at the judges table. They’d be the judges tonight.

Stydia: Stiles walked Lydia onto the stage, taking their places side by side and dropping their heads until the music started. Tom’s voice flooded the auditorium bringing great joy. Stiles and Lydia did their dance, singing along with the track and doing backflips off of eachother. Their big finish was blasting confetti bombs from the sleeves of their turtleneck leotards.

Sandal: The girls walked onto stage next. Their shoes tapped against the wood and their headbands bobbed on their heads. There was no music, but they perfectly recreated the song Electricity with only their tap shoes and whistle tones.

Sethan: Sara and Ethan tracked glitter onto the stage. They strapped onto their flying rigs and the music started. They did perfect aerial acrobatics, dropping glitter from above, raining onto the judges. They sang to the karaoke track and belted from five hundred feet in the air. Their vocals were spot on.

Bughead: Betty and Cody Martin went next. Betty was worried about her boyfriend. But as they started their routine, she knew what he was doing. In the middle of their act, he ripped his too tight leotard off to reveal an extravagant, perfectly identical costume for Billy Elliot. Betty burst into tears, trying her best to incorporate her emotions into the routine.

Rerica: Rory and Erica walked on with peak confidence. They strutted their stuff and turned around. From below the stage rose a full orchestra and band. Two microphones rose as well. The couple took the microphones. “This one goes out to Scooter McCall!” Erica yelled. “May he die soon!” Their routine was spectacular. They had full choreography, a ballet solo each, live elephants, and a mariachi band. They knew they’d win for sure.

McCargent: Melissa and Chris sent the contestants away. “They were all so magical, God,” Melissa told her husband. “They really were,” he agreed. Melissa looked through everyone’s headshots. “I guess there’s only one thing we can do.” Christ nodded. “You’re right. Melissa whistled in four part harmony by herself. Out from behind the curtains walked Tom Holland himself. “I’m here to help ya,” he said. “Thank you, Tom. Thank you, Tom’s frog,” the couple said to the boy. “I’ll decide. You two go bring in the contestants,” he said. The couple left the stage and brought everyone in. At the sight of Mr. Holland, Cody Martin, Candle Beandip, and Ethan fainted. The rest screamed loudly, crying automatically and singing in harmony. Tom smiled at them as everyone came to their senses. “I’m going to announce the winner,” Tom said. He cleared his throat. “The winner is…………” he held it out for nineteen point three minutes. “CLARKE GRIFFIN AND MADI!” Out from behind the curtains came Clarke and Madi dressed in perfect Spiderman costumes. They had done a secret audition and they had won. Tom grasped their hands. “Clarke and Madi have won this year’s Billy Fest! You will get to spend the year with me in the Alps!” Clarke was crying while hugging her daughter. The other couples were angry but they knew Clarke was a great dancer, they could never live up to her talent. Melissa and Chris shook the winners’ hands. “We’re very proud of you! I’m so happy for you! Our son, Snot, could never be as amazing as you! As any of you really,” they said, turning to the group of losers. “You all did so well tonight it was so hard to choose. Scotch tape could never be like any of you. I really appreciate you all letting me call you my children!” Everyone cried, going into a big group hug. No one was sad anymore everyone knew they’d lost for all the right reasons. There was always next year. And so Melissa and Chris took all their children home for a celebratory dinner, even Tom came. Everyone bonded and no one talked about Scoobot McCall. They even had a dance battle to the Reba theme song.

The night was getting spooky. Melissa McCall and Christ Argent were huddled closely on the couch in the center of the room. They’d gotten rid of all their other furniture because it all reminded Melissa of her son because it was ugly. “Sweet cheeks, I’m scared,” Melissa cried. A scream sounded that didn’t come from either of them. “Oh no,” Christ said, “I think we’ve angered it!” A spirit had been haunting the couple for eighteen days now. A box flew across the room. “How did that happen?! We don’t have anything but this couch!” Christ yelled. Melissa threw her arms in the air. “We got rid of everything because everything we owned was sat upon by Scronch!” More boxes appeared of thin air and spelled “ME” on the ground. “Me?!!?” the couple yelled in unison. “DIE!” a demonic voice called out. “I’m going to call the experts!” Melissa yelled, pulling her cell phone out from under her ten gallon hat. “Hello, yes, hello,” she said into the blackberry flip phone. “I’m being haunted, hurry to my house!” And she hung up. “They’re on their way.”