#mayawtfchallenge

This is worse than that time that Steve tried to shave his head with Bucky’s straight razor, or the time that Bucky decided that letting Shirley down by dancing with Dot at the local hall was easier than talking, or even worse that when Steve slugged Joey in the jaw and then promptly got his fat-head almost dusted because he was still a bloody twig.

Hell, this is worse than hearing that Steve STILL tries to blow things up with motorbikes, which really is a feat in itself, and that he jumped on a grenade back in basic, and that he jumps out of planes without a parachute on unless Bucky intervenes. Even worse than that day in DC they don’t talk about anymore, or that day in Leipzig they don’t talk about either.

Now they had to add getting themselves ambushed by zombie super-soldiers.

“We’re screwed” Bucky mumbles to Steve.

Steve’s eyes are flicking around, watching as the soldiers, zombies, whatever the hell they are, surround them. Bucky knows that Steve’s gonna move, that he’s gonna try and take them and hit them with everything he’s got, not that they haven’t already. They’re riddled with GSWs and stab wounds from Bucky, and smatterings of bruises and broken bones from Steve, but it hasn’t stopped them. Instead, it’s just made the skin hang, blood clot and the bones shift beneath the skin with loud sick movements that make Bucky want to hurl. The only ones that have managed to stay down are without heads or have had their heads obliterated by the shield, Steve or Bucky’s fists or enough bullets to make them stick to magnet. It’s enough to make him heave a sigh for the ages.

The M249 Saw is all but useless, so Bucky lowers it gently to the ground, it’s his favourite, besides he’s down to his last bullets and they won’t stay down. His hands snake to pull out the M9 Bayonet and the Gerber that he keeps at his sides and then presses his fingers discretely to the comms unit in his wrist. Steve’s eyes find his and there are no words, just a silent question of are you ready to do this? Bucky nods sharply before moving like lightening, slashing and stabbing his way through the horde while Steve attempts to punch his own group of zombies into next century. They won’t last long at this rate but they’re gonna take as many of these fuckers with them.

He’s right, like always, he thinks as he feels the pinprick and looks down to see a frighteningly large syringe sticking out of his stomach. It hurts and his legs go slack immediately, as well as his hands and he has to watch the two coveted knives drop carelessly to the ground, it makes him angry. Steve is next to him in an instant, anger radiating off him not unlike how the sun radiates heat, he can feel it in his pores. The shield is brought up in front of them to finally do what it was made to, shield them from fire and blows, but Steve’s face changes from anger to horror and both of their eyes trail to were another equally frightening syringe has made its way into Steve.

“Screwed Stevie.” Bucky repeats, his tongue starts to go slack and his head lolls.

Steve’s grasp is slipping and he’s falling, his shield clanging to the floor and sounding like an obnoxious pot lid in the middle of the night. Bucky wants to smile because the alarm went out and Steve is here. But. He frowns, remembering that you will be getting the alarm too. Shit.

                                               ***************

There’s a coffee cup in your hand that you definitely don’t remember grabbing and you’re standing in front of the “War room”, willing yourself to enter. Bucky named it that, deciding that the team couldn’t have a boring conference room as they space for planning “super-secret and sometimes morally-questionable superhero missions.” Now it has a map, a switchboard that Shuri installed after all of Bucky’s incessant whining – which really has no use other than looking like it came straight out of a movie set. He had even threatened everyone to call it the “War room” or they would feel the wrath of the Winter Soldier. Dramatic little shit.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. This was not how your day was supposed to go. You were supposed to meet up with Shuri at a reasonable time to discuss possible weapons, try on the suit she secretly made for you, and then wait for Bucky to return so you could have a much-needed conversation about how you were bored out of your mind. But no, instead you had been woken by the shrill alarm coming from EVERY single electronic in your place at 0247.

There was already bickering in the “War room”, you heard it long before you found yourself in front of the door, something you were still getting used to. Summoning your strength, you push the door open and walk into the room, and to say that it falls silent is an understatement, you could hear a pin drop if anyone did drop one. Obviously, none of them are aware that Bucky had added you to the “Avengers Assemble” alarm.

Shuri is standing on the other side of the table with an expression that reads I’m so done; Natasha is to her left looking relieved? Sam’s standing with his arms crossed to the right and Clint is lounging on one of the chairs in front of him, feet up, looking like he’s watching a goddamn movie.

Sam goes to talk first, going so far as to open his mouth only to close it just as fast when you hold up a finger to silence him, emitting a vibe that very clearly says I’m really not impressed. He’s taken aback but they all take note, and no one goes to speak. You run your hand through your hair, you should have tied that shit up.

It’s all tense, with specs already on the table display and there’s a definite lack of two certifiable dumbasses. Clearly something has gone wrong.

“I’m going to kill Steve Rogers and his boyfriend” you say in a strained voice.

“Which one?” Natasha asks.

Sam squawks. Like a bird. You should have recorded that shit for future blackmail purposes.

“Aw you know, yay big, huge flirt, has an affinity for knives, kinda murderous?” You wave your hand around above yourself to indicate Bucky’s height and they all let out small, if not nervous laughs.

Sam, however, is laughing just a touch louder. “Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

“He can be Steve’s when he’s being an idiot.”

“He’s always an idiot…”

“Indeed, he is. But seriously, what happened?”

Silence again, which simply put means shit’s FUBAR and that no one knows what’s happening. You flop down onto the chair with a heavy sigh, chugging the rest of your coffee – not that it’s going to do anything, but you like to give yourself the illusion that it does.

Nat runs her hands over her face, pulling the skin taunt before speaking. “Bucky sent out the alarm. But we couldn’t start because he, somehow, installed a failsafe that meant it couldn’t be accessed until we were all present.”

And there it is. Her tone is… off, somehow, like she’s still trying to understand the situation. Because usually you’d have to wait for them to call you, whether it be that they were on their way back or that a certain someone had sustained an injury, but today Bucky had made sure that you’d been called. Maybe he was already starting to guess at your restlessness.

“Shall we get started?” Shuri asks.

It cuts the tension and she pulls up the small videos that were taken at the time the alarm was activated. It’s a minute long, both of the cams on Steve and Bucky’s uniforms capturing the madness. They start and you grip the table, fingers making indents in the thick metal.

“What. The. Fuck.” Sam speaks first, a full thirty seconds after the videos end, vocalising the confusion they are all feeling.

“Zombies.” Clint says with conviction.

Sam shakes his head. “Nope.”

“What?”

“You hear me. Nope. Na da. Wanna hear it in Spanish? No.”

Nat let’s out an exasperated sigh and shoots the two men daggers. “This was supposed to be simple recon. Something went wrong, but they should have been able to handle this.” She admits.

They should have. Steve and Bucky together are like a tsunami, once ready to fight, you do not get in their way, it’s a sure-fire way to end up broken. But they also haven’t seen anything like this, and you had never said anything, secretly hoping that they would just disappear. Sure, they’ve dealt with aliens, mutants, super-soldiers. But zombie super-soldiers clearly had not crossed their minds.

You trace the indents that you had made a few times, knowing what you need to do and feeling the bile rise in your throat. You have no other option.

“I have.” You say.

Chaos erupts around you. Each of them talks over one another, asking the same questions as well as muttering about how they can’t believe that. You hadn’t said anything about zombies, not when they had come across your mangled body on another simple recon mission, not when you recovered and not when you started to fall for a certain super-soldier. And why would you? According to anything official, you were another victim of HYDRA’s experimentation, turned into a super-soldier against your will, or that’s what everyone had guessed. It was the only explanation for you surviving being severed almost in half.

The destruction of the facility you had been found in along with the lack of any intel from their servers meant a dead end that, not even Shuri, could pick up and you had all decided it was over. Until a few weeks ago when there had been whisperings and some intel found in the most precarious places, which Bucky and Steve had insisted on checking out.

And now you had to break it to them.

You pick a question at random, a seemingly easy on. Why do you know what they are?

“They’re a result of experiments gone wrong, the same one that made me.”

They all physically recoil, except Shuri of course but you knew that already, they go so far as flinching and you must hide the hurt. “You’re a zombie?” Clint sounds too far away.

A bitter laugh escapes your lips and they all look slightly scared, you didn’t mean that. “They’re the rule, I’m the exception, or accident, however you want to put it. Seriously, I don’t think they expected me to survive, and like, not become a mangled mess like the rest of them.”

“What’s the rule?” Shuri asks the question but she already knows the answer, she’s the only one who knows the whole truth, other than Bucky who you know took this mission because he wanted to be sure that they were gone, wanted you to have a shot at a normal life.

“Don’t play God?” you offer.

Nat is pale. You can see the gears shifting in her head, she’s thinking and thinking and working through the intel they already have, the mission gone south and your confession. You know she’s worked it out when it looks like a lightbulb has appeared above her and she gives you a look of shock and fear.

“They never stopped.” She says in almost a whisper. No one goes to interrupt her. “Project Rebirth. The Winter Soldier program. Weapon X. They never stopped trying to recreate Steve, and Bucky. But without the serum, they didn’t have anything stable to work with.”

Bingo.

“Until now.” You say.

That tells them everything they need to know. Bucky and Steve weren’t dead, they were something much worse, captured. The only two living super-soldiers with the serum walked straight into the hornet’s nest armed with only fly swatters, unaware that it was all planned.

“Can they be killed?” Nat asks.

You shrug. “Decapitation seems to work alright?” You offer with a grim smile. “Or going to town on their heads.”

“Good enough for me.” Nat raises her head at Sam and Clint and they both think for a second before nodding in agreement. “Let’s go get our boys.”

Sam comes up next to you and places a hand on your shoulder, the earlier shock gone and he’s trying to be comforting. He knows how much Bucky means to you, and Steve, and all of them for that matter. “You got a suit?”

Natasha había encontrado el pequeño secreto de Steve casi dos años después de que se habían casado, así que ese día Steve la invitó a cenar con ustedes para que ella te conociera, aunque a partir primer momento en el que ella te vio supiste que no le habías agradado, desde entonces ella siempre se portaba muy grosera contigo cada vez que llegaban a encontrarse.

Suspiraste y lanzaste el periódico lejos, odiabas las falsas noticias que solían aparecer en cualquier medio, sabias que Steve los mantenía en secreto para evitar que sus enemigos tanto viejos como nuevos les hicieran daño.

Le diste la merienda a tus hijos, Mientras los mellizos comían llamaste al celular de él, no contestó.

“Seguramente está en una junta o una misión” pensaste tratando de calmarte.

Viste la tele para distraerte un rato mientras los niños dormían estaba pasando una entrevista de los Vengadores, pero lo que te dejo congelada era la manera en la que Natasha se comportaba con tu esposo, apagaste el televisor sin siquiera terminar de ver la entrevista.

Recibiste una llamada de tu mejor amiga y te preguntaba si habías visto la entrevista le dijiste que sí pero ahora te sientes confundida, no entendías del todo lo que estaba pasando, de inmediato tu amiga te fue a visitar, estuvieron platicando un rato acerca de todo lo que había estado pasando al igual delas cosas que sospechabas.

—T/N debes ir y comprobar si todo eso es verdad, yo creo que tu esposo actúa demasiado raro—dijo tu amiga.

—No lo sé, tengo miedo de lo que puedo encontrar—respondiste poco convencida.

—Necesitas saber la verdad— ella insistió.

— ¿Y si la rumores son ciertos?—preguntaste temerosa.

—Tengo un arma, así que vete tranquila yo cuidaré a los niños y llévate mi carro, así no te reconocerán, es diferente al que conocen—ofreció tu amiga.

Ella tenía razón, Steve siempre se rehusaba a hablar sobre su trabajo contigo, algunas veces decía como excusa que era mejor que no supieras para evitar que alguien te hiciera daño si intentaban obtener la información y otras veces que eran proyectos secretos y por lo tanto no estaba autorizado a compartir la información con otras personas que no estuvieran involucradas.

Ibas hacia el Triskelion, estabas determinada a enfrentar a ese par de una vez por todas, por lo que no te importaba manejar más de dos horas para llegar al lugar.

A mitad de camino mientras esperabas que cambiara el semáforo viste algo que llamó completamente tu atención, una pareja caminando tomados de la mano hacia una cafetería, la pareja se parecían demasiado a Steve y Natasha. Estabas tan concentrada en lo que veías que no notaste el cambio de luces hasta que los otros conductores empezaron a desesperarse y escuchaste el ruido de los claxon, arrancaste y enseguida buscaste un estacionamiento.

Tomaste los lentes que tu amiga siempre traía guardados en el carro y recogiste tu cabello, esperabas que no se dieran cuenta que eras tú, entraste a la cafetería, te sentaste en un lugar donde tú podías verlos y escucharlos pero ellos no alcanzaban a verte. Notaste que Steve no llevaba su anillo de casados.

Pediste lo primero que viste, te importaba más escuchar lo que hablaban, no reconociste a las personas con las que estaban, por fotos conocías a algunos de sus compañeros de trabajo, a los únicos que conocías en persona eran a Romanoff y al director Fury, aunque si era posible que las otras personas también trabajaran en S.H.I.E.L.D., pero por la manera en la que conversaban no parecía como si fuera de compañeros.

Esta vez la misión de Steve y Nat era sencilla, hacerse pasar por una pareja recién comprometida para obtener un poco de información de los sospechosos, ya que el negocio que tenían dichas personas era de planeación de bodas aunque el verdadero negocio era la venta ilícita de armas.

— ¿Cuánto tiempo llevan de relación?—preguntó uno de los sospechosos.

—Cuatro años y medio—respondió Steve.

—Y han pensado en qué tipo de boda les gustaría—preguntó el otro sospechoso.

—No aún no, hemos visto algunas ideas pero nada nos ha gustado—dijo Natasha.

Los sospechosos les enseñaron algunas ideas pero ninguna parecía convencerles

—Tengo una pregunta, ¿alguno de ustedes ha estado casado antes?—les preguntó uno de ellos.

—No...

—No, para nada, queremos que esto sea para siempre...—intervino Natasha antes de que alguien sospechara que Steve mentía.

De pronto viste como se besaban, ya habías visto suficiente por lo que no terminaste de escuchar la conversación, acababas de comprobar que los rumores eran ciertos, dejaste el dinero que cubría tu comida y la propina en la mesa aunque no habías comido mucho y saliste de la cafetería con el corazón roto. De inmediato ibas a regresar a tu casa, querías huir pero no ibas a dejar a tus hijos.

Cuatro años y medio...los mellizos tenían cuatro años eso significaba que Steve te había empezado a engañar cuando estabas embarazada.

 Seguías sin creer lo que habías presenciado, te sentías traicionada, como si durante todos estos años hubieras vivido en una mentira, quizás él estaba contigo nada más por los pequeños y no porque realmente te amara.

Aparte no conocías a sus amigos, siempre te decía el mismo pretexto y ¿si en realidad tú eras la amante?

¿Y si legalmente no estaban casados y su boda había sido toda una farsa muy bien planeada?

Quizás ese era el motivo por el que los mantenía en secreto y Natasha te trataba tan mal.

Al llegar a la casa, le contaste vagamente lo que había pasado y lo que habías decidido hacer, sabías que contabas con su apoyo.

No ibas a esperarlo para escuchar más excusas o mentiras, tenías que salir de ahí inmediatamente, guardaste en una maleta que le habías pedido prestada a tu mejor amiga algunas de tus pertenencias y de tus hijos, no habías notado la presencia de las criaturas en el marco de la puerta.

— ¿Mami?—te llamó tu hijo.

Volteaste y viste a los pequeños tomados de la mano, por un momento te detuviste, te sentaste en la cama.

—Vengan mis amores—los llamaste

Ellos se acercaron, el niño se sentó a tu lado mientras la niña se sentó en tu regazo.

—Vamos a ir de viaje por unos días—les informaste.

— ¿Y papá?—preguntó tu hijo.

Sabías que ellos lo adoraban pero no podías romperles el corazón a ellos también, quizás después de un tiempo les dirías la verdad.

—No, papá no viene, él tiene mucho trabajo—explicaste y los niños se vieron entre sí un poco confundidos.

— ¿Podemos llevar a Galleta?—preguntó tu hija.

—Claro y también a Rufus—respondiste al ver que tu hijo iba a preguntar lo mismo.

Tu hijo tomó de la mano a su hermana para ir por sus respectivos peluches en sus recámaras.

No te irías en tu automóvil, era obvio que iban a localizarte, tampoco te llevabas tu celular, por suerte tenías dinero suficiente para dos meses al menos, después te preocuparías de cómo conseguir más.

No podías salir del país ni ir con ningún familiar porque era obvio que te encontraría, querías que desaparecer así que recordaste que unas semanas atrás habías visto en el supermercado unas cabañas en renta en un lugar lejano.

Era perfecto, nadie te buscaría ahí. Rentaste la cabaña en cuanto llegaron al lugar, lo mejor, ni siquiera te habían preguntado tu nombre por lo que no habías tenido que mentir, los niños se veían felices y parecían que habían olvidado que su papá no los había acompañado.

Te viste en el espejo y suspiraste, sentías que no eras igual de hermosa y joven que Natasha pero al menos te habría gustado que él te dijera la verdad, no tenías ni idea de cómo explicarle lo que pasaba a tus hijos, no estabas segura si entenderían la gravedad del asunto.

Steve llegó a la casa donde vivían, los extrañaba mucho ya que la misión en vez de tomarle un día, tardó dos días más ya que de inmediato se habían puesto a trabajar en un plan para atrapar a los enemigos y también se sentía un poco mal por la misión, nunca le había gustado tener ese tipo de misiones donde tuviera que hacerse pasar por la pareja de su compañera, a pesar de que la misión había resultado mucho mejor de lo que esperaban; ya que no sólo habían conseguido la información sino también habían atrapado a los delincuentes y asegurado las armas que tenían, había estado tan ocupado que ni siquiera notó que no habías respondido los mensajes que te había mandado.

— ¿Muñeca?—te llamó al entrar.

Le pareció raro no escuchar respuesta alguna, se asomó a la cocina pero tampoco estaban.

— ¿Niños?—llamó, aunque después se sintió tonto, evidentemente no ibas a dejar a los pequeños solos.

El terror se apoderó de él al no escuchar respuesta de nuevo, empezó a revisar la casa.

“Quizás fueron al supermercado o llevó a los niños al parque” pensó

Encontró tu celular en la recámara, revisó el segundo piso, volvió a bajar y vio que las llaves de tu auto estaban donde siempre así como el vehículo. Él sabía perfectamente que no usabas otro medio de transporte cuando salías con los niños.

Le habló a tu mejor amiga y ella le dijo que no sabía dónde estabas, llamó a todos los lugares que se le ocurrieron, simplemente habías desaparecido, no, más bien Steve estaba seguro que alguno de sus enemigos los había secuestrado.

De inmediato llamó a Fury, necesitaba encontrarlos lo más rápido posible y salvarlos del peligro en el que él creía que estaban.

Las siguientes tres semanas le parecieron eternas a Steve, casi no dormía, lo único que le importaba era encontrarlos vivos y a salvo, no era posible que simplemente se hubieran desaparecido de la faz de la tierra, habían revisado en todos los aeropuertos, en todos los lugares que se le había ocurrido igual en la búsqueda participaban varios miembros de la organización por orden de Fury, Clint también participaba, podía entender lo que Steve sentía, seguramente si su familia desapareciera también perdería la cabeza.

Ese día habías decidido ir al supermercado, dejaste que los niños eligieran las galletas, sin embargo no te diste cuenta que alguien te había descubierto, seguiste haciendo las compras, tampoco habías notado que te habían seguido hasta la cabaña.

—Cap, los he encontrado—le informó Clint.

De inmediato Steve llegó a donde Clint le había indicado, él lo estaba esperando.

—Barton, ¿seguro que están ahí adentro y sin ningún daño?—preguntó Steve incrédulo, estaba completamente sorprendido del lugar donde se encontraban.

—Los encontré en el supermercado y los seguí hasta aquí, tu esposa se ve algo triste eso es todo, aunque antes de que entres, creo que deberías escucharla, no creo que alguien los haya secuestrado sino más bien que huían te di—comentó Clint.

—No tiene sentido…—Steve se sentía confundido.

—Simplemente creo que deberías saber sus motivos primero—dijo.

Steve asintió y fue hasta la cabaña, tocó la puerta, fuiste a abrir la puerta lo más rápido posible para que los niños no se despertaran pero te llevaste una gran sorpresa al verlo ahí.

—Steven…

—Muñeca, los he estado buscando por todos lados—saludó mientras abría más la puerta y entraba al lugar.

—Claro pasa—murmuraste.

Te asomaste para asegurarte que Natasha no estuviera con él, al no ver a otra persona afuera cerraste la puerta y fuiste hasta la sala donde Steve ya se había sentado.

—Hmm ¿y los niños?—preguntó al no verlos.

—Arriba dormidos—respondiste.

Estuvieron unos minutos en silencio, que de pronto se volvió muy incómodo.

— ¿Qué es lo que quieres?—preguntaste de pronto.

— ¿Por qué te fuiste? He estado muy preocupado todas estas semanas creyendo que algo malo les había pasado—cuestionó.

—Eres un cínico, después de todo lo que hiciste todavía me preguntas eso—no podías creer que buscara una explicación.

—Lo siento, sé que he tenido mucho trabajo y casi no he estado con ustedes pero pediré unas vacaciones e iremos a donde quieras—trató de disculparse.

Él creía que era porque casi no pasaba tiempo con ustedes, en el pasado habían tenido unas cuantas discusiones respecto al tema, pero ahora quería arreglar las cosas. Le diste una bofetada con todas tus fuerzas porque no soportabas que se hiciera el inocente y te volviera a mentir.

—Pero ¿qué…?

— ¿Crees que no sé que me engañas con Natasha? Sé que se van a casar pronto, al menos hubieras tenido el valor de decírmelo—le reclamaste.

— ¿De qué hablas? Yo no salgo con ella—él sonaba muy confundido y realmente no sabía de lo que le hablabas.

—No mientas, escuché la conversación de la cafetería…—empezaste a decir.

Steve abrió los ojos, ahora todo tenía sentido, era un malentendido, no tenía ni la más mínima idea de cómo arreglar las cosas pero lo intentaría porque no quería perderte.

—Eso era una misión, puedes hablarle a Fury si no me crees, no hay nada entre Romanoff y yo, T/N eres a la única que amo, nada más me importan tú y nuestros hijos—te interrumpió.

—Ella es más bonita, joven y talentosa que yo—dijiste.

Realmente te sentías poca cosa en comparación a Natasha.

—Para mí tú eres la más hermosa, en serio no hay nada entre ella y yo—trató de tomar tu mano.

— ¿Hasta dónde han llegado? Te vi besándola—preguntaste quitando la mano para evitar que la tomara, realmente necesitabas saber la verdad.

—Nada ha pasado, ella me besó como parte de la misión, en serio T/N, eres la única—te aseguró.

—Nunca me dices nada de tu trabajo, ni siquiera sé quiénes son tus compañeros, nunca me cuentas nada—recriminaste, sentías que en cualquier momento ibas a llorar.

—Hago cosas muy peligrosas…—empezó a decir.

—Siempre dices lo mismo ¿así quieres que te crea y tenga confianza?—ya estabas cansada de la misma excusa.

—Dame otra oportunidad por favor, no quiero perder esto, te contaré todo, es más iremos con Fury y ahí sabrás todo—prometió.

—No lo sé…—no estabas del todo convencida.

—Por favor T/N, ustedes son mi única razón para continuar, una última oportunidad por favor—suplicó casi llorando.

— ¿Me seguirás amando cuando ya no sea joven y hermosa? Sabes que envejeceré antes que tú—sentías que las lágrimas caían por tus mejillas.

—Eso no me importa, te amaré siempre—aseguró.

Se acercó a ti, limpió tus lágrimas con el dorso de su mano y te dio un pequeño beso, aún temía que lo rechazaras.

—Está bien, nada más una oportunidad—le dijiste.

— ¡Papi!—gritaron de pronto los mellizos, que ya se habían despertado.

Corrieron hasta él y Steve cargo a los dos niños, ahora que los veía se sentía más tranquilo de que nada malo le hubiera pasado a alguno de ustedes.

— ¿Cómo se han portado? ¿Han sido niños buenos?—les preguntó.

— ¡Sí!—respondieron al unísono.

—Mami dijo que tenías mucho trabajo—comentó la pequeña.

—Lo tenía pero ya lo terminé—dijo Steve.

— ¿Te vas a quedar con nosotros?—preguntó el niño.

—Sí, ¿qué les parece si nos quedamos una semana más y pasamos los cuatro tiempo juntos y nos divertimos?—propuso.

—Te amo T/N.

—Te amo Steve.

Ahora Steve iba a arreglar el error que llevaba años cometiendo e iban a ponerse al corriente de todo el tiempo que habían perdido las últimas semanas.

Natasha had found Steve’s little secret almost two years after you had married, so that day Steve invited her to dinner with you so she could meet you, although, from the first moment she saw you, you knew she didn’t like you since then she always behaved very rude to you every time they came to meet.

You sighed and threw the newspaper away, you hated the false news that used to appear in any media, and you knew that Steve kept you as a secret to prevent his old and new enemies from hurting them.

You gave the snack to your children, while the twins ate you called to his cell phone, he didn’t answer.

“Surely he is in a meeting or a mission,” you thought to try to calm yourself down.

You watched TV distract you for a while the children were sleeping, there was an Avengers interview, but what left you frozen was the way Natasha behaved with your husband, you turned off the TV without even watching the interview.

You received a call from your best friend and he asked you if you had seen the interview, you said yes but now you feel confused, you didn´t understand what was happening, immediately your friend went to visit you, you were talking for a while about everything that had been going on and suspect things

“Y/N you must go and see if all that is true, I think your husband acts too weird,” your friend said.

“I don’t know, I’m afraid of what I can find,” you replied unconvinced.

“You need to know the truth,” she insisted.

“What if the rumors are true?” you asked afraid.

“I have a gun, so go calm and I’ll take care of the children and you can go on my car, so they won’t recognize you, it’s different from the car they know,” your friend offered.

She was right, Steve always refused to talk about his work with you, sometimes he said as an excuse that it was better that you didn´t know to prevent someone will hurt you if they tried to obtain the information and other were secret projects and therefore he wasn´t authorized to share the information with others who were not involved.

You were going to the Triskelion, you were determined to face that pair once and for all, so you didn’t mind driving more than two hours to get to the place.

Halfway while you waited for the traffic light to change, you saw something that caught your attention completely, a couple walking hand in hand towards a cafeteria, the couple looked too much like Steve and Natasha. You were so focused on what you saw that you didn’t notice the change of lights until the other drivers began to despair and heard the noise of the horn, you started and immediately looked for a parking lot.

You took the glasses that your friend always had in the car and picked up your hair, you hoped they didn’t realize that it was you, you entered the cafeteria, and you sat in a place where you could see and hear them but they couldn’t see you. You noticed that Steve didn’t wear his wedding ring.

You asked for the first thing you saw on the menu, you were most cared to listen to what they were talking about, you didn’t recognize the people they were with, by photos you knew some of their coworkers, the only ones you knew in person were Romanoff and director Fury, although it was possible that the other people also worked in S.H.I.E.L.D., because of the way they talked, it didn’t seem like they were partners.

This time Steve and Nat’s mission was simple, pretend to be a just engaged couple to get some information from the suspects because the business that these people had was wedding planning but the real business was the illegal sale of weapons.

“How long have you been in a relationship?” asked one of the suspects.

“Four and a half years,” Steve replied.

“And you have thought about what kind of wedding would you like,” the other suspect asked.

“Not yet, we have seen some ideas but we have not liked anything,” Natasha said.

The suspects show them some ideas but none seemed to convince them.

“I have a question, have any of you been married before?” One of them asked.

“Y-No…”

“No, we don’t, we want this to be forever …” Natasha intervened before anyone suspected Steve was lying.

Then you saw they kissed, you had seen enough so that you didn´t finish listening to the conversation, you had verified that the rumors were true, you left the money that covered your food and the tip on the table although you hadn´t eaten much and left from the cafeteria with your heartbroken. You return to your home immediately, you wanted to run away but you are not going to leave your children alone or with his father.

Four and a half years … the twins were four years old, which meant Steve had started cheating on you when you were pregnant.

You still didn’t believe what you saw in that cafeteria, you felt betrayed, as if during all these years you had lived in a lie, maybe he was with you just for the children and not because he loved you.

Besides, you didn’t know his friends, he always told you the same excuse and what if you were the lover?

What if you were not legally married and the wedding had been a very well planned farce?

Maybe that was the reason he kept you as a secret and Natasha treated you so badly.

When you arrived at the house, you vaguely told your friend what had happened and what you had decided to do, you knew you had her support.

You weren’t going to wait for him to hear more excuses or lies, you had to get out of there immediately, and you put in a suitcase that you had borrowed from your best friend some of your belongings, you hadn’t noticed the presence of the twins in the door frame.

“Mommy?” your son called you.

You turned and saw the little ones holding each other hands, for a moment you stopped, you sat on the bed.

“Come here, my babies,” you called them

They approached, the boy sat next to you while the girl sat on your lap.

“We’re going on a trip for a few days,” you informed them.

“And daddy?” your son asked.

You knew how much they loved him but you couldn’t break their hearts too, maybe after a while, you would tell them the truth.

“No, dad doesn’t come, he has a lot of work,” you explained and the children saw each other a little confused.

“Can we take Cookie?” your daughter asked.

“Sure, and Rufus too,” you replied when you saw that your son was going to ask the same thing.

Your son took his sister’s hand to go to their respective stuffed animals in their bedrooms.

You would not go in your car, it was obvious that they were going to locate you, nor your cell phone, you had enough money for two months at least, and then you would worry about how to get more.

You could not leave the country or go with any family because it was obvious that he would find you and you will be in problems, you wanted to disappear so you remembered that a few weeks ago you had seen in the supermarket some rent cabins in a place very far.

It was perfect, nobody would look for you there. You rented the cabin as soon as you arrived at the place, the best, they didn’t even ask your name so you didn’t have to lie, the children looked happy and they forgot that their father wasn´t with you.

You saw yourself in the mirror and you sighed, you felt that you weren´t as beautiful and young as Natasha but at least you would have liked him to tell you the truth, you had no idea how to explain what happened to your children, you weren´t sure if they would understand the seriousness of the matter.

Steve arrived at your house, he missed you a lot because the mission instead of taking it one day, took two more days because they had immediately started working on a plan to catch the enemies and also felt a little bad for the mission, he had never liked having such missions where he had to be a couple of his partner. The mission had been much better than they expected;  they not only obtained the information also they caught the criminals and secured the weapons that the criminals had, he had been so busy that he didn’t even notice that you didn’t answer the messages he had sent to you.

“Doll?” he called you when he entered.

He didn’t hear any response, so he looked into the kitchen but you weren´t there.

“Kids?” he called, although later he felt silly, obviously you weren’t going to leave the little ones alone.

Terror seized him when he heard no response again, he began to check the house.

“Maybe they went to the supermarket or took the children to the park,” he thought

He found your cellphone in the bedroom when he checked the second floor, went back down and saw that the keys to your car were where they always were, and your car in the garage. He knew perfectly well that you didn´t use another transport when you went out with the children.

He called your best friend and she said she didn’t know where you were, he called all the places that thought you could be, you weren’t there it was like you just disappeared, no, rather Steve was sure that some of his enemies had kidnapped you.

He immediately called Fury, he needed to find you as quickly as possible and save them from the danger in which he believed you were.

The following three weeks were eternal to Steve, he hardly slept, the only thing that mattered him was finding you alive and safe, it was not possible that you had simply disappeared, he had checked at all airports, at all places that had thought you could be, several members of the organization participated by order of Fury in the pursuit, Clint also participated, he could understand what Steve felt, surely if his family disappeared he would also lose his mind.

That day you had decided to go to the supermarket, you let the children choose the cookies, however, you didn´t realize that someone had discovered you, you kept shopping, nor did you notice that the person had followed you to the cabin.

“Cap, I found them,” Clint informed him.

Steve immediately arrived where Clint was waiting for him.

“Barton, are you sure they are there and safe?” Steve asked incredulously, he was completely surprised at where you were.

“I found them in the supermarket and followed them here, your wife looks a bit sad, that’s all, although before you enter, I think you should listen to her, I don’t think anyone has kidnapped them but rather they ran away from you,” said Clint.

“It doesn’t make sense …” Steve felt confused.

“I just think you should know her motives first,” he said.

Steve nodded and went to the cabin, knocked on the door, you went to open the door as quickly as possible so that the children didn´t wake up but you got a big surprise to see him there.

“Steve…”

“Doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he greeted as he opened the door further and entered the place.

“Sure come in,” you murmured.

You leaned out to make sure Natasha wasn’t with him until you don´t see another person outside you closed the door and went to the room where Steve had already sat.

“Hmm, what about the children?” he asked, not seeing them.

“Upstairs, taking a nap,” you replied.

You were in silence for a few minutes, which suddenly became very uncomfortable.

“What do you want?” you asked suddenly.

“Why you run away? I’ve been worried all these weeks believing something bad had happened to them “he questioned.

“You’re a cynic, after everything you did you still ask me that” you couldn’t believe he was looking for an explanation

"I'm sorry, I know I have had a lot of work and I have hardly been with you but I will ask for vacation and go wherever you want," he tried to apologize.

He thought it was because he hardly spent time with you and the kids, in the past, you had had a few discussions about it, but now he wanted to fix things. You slapped him with all your strength because you couldn't stand that he acts like an innocent and lies to you again.

“What the…?”

“Do you think I don't know that you cheat on me with Natasha? I know you are getting married soon, at least you would have had the courage to tell me “you claimed.

“What are you talking about? I don't date her” he sounded very confused and actually in his mind he didn't know what you were talking about.

"Don't lie, I listened to the cafeteria conversation ..." you started to say.

Steve opened his eyes, now everything has sense, it was a misunderstanding, he had no idea how to fix it but he would try because he didn't want to lose you.

"That was a mission, you can talk to Fury if you don't believe me, there is nothing between Romanoff and me, Y/N you are the only one I love, I just care about you and our children," he interrupted.

"She's prettier, younger, and more talent than me," you said.

You felt like nothing in comparison to Natasha.

"For me, you are the most beautiful, seriously there is nothing between her and me," he tried to take your hand.

“Do you have…? I saw you kissing her,“ you asked by removing her hand to keep her from taking it, you needed to know the truth.

"Nothing happened, she kissed me as part of the mission, seriously Y/N, you're the only one," he assured you.

"You never tell me anything about your work, I don't even know who your co-workers are, you never tell me anything," you recriminated, you felt that at any moment you were going to cry.

"I do very dangerous things ..." he began.

"You always say the same, so you want me to believe you and have confidence?" you were tired of the same excuse.

"Give me another chance, please, I don't want to miss this, I'll tell you everything, we will go with Fury and you'll know everything there," he promised.

“I don’t know …” you weren’t convinced.

“Please Y/N, you are my only reason to continue, one last chance please,” he begged, almost crying.

“Will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful? You know I will grow old before you “you felt the tears fall down your cheeks.

“I don’t care about that, I will always love you,” he said.

He approached you, wiped your tears with the back of his hand, and gave you a little kiss, he was still afraid you would reject him.

“All right, just one chance,” you said.

“Daddy!” the twins shouted, they already woken up.

They ran to him and Steve took two children, now that he saw you, he felt better, nothing bad had happened to any of you.

“How have you behaved? Have you been good children? ”He asked.

“Yes!” They answered in one voice.

“Mom said that you had a lot of work,” said the little girl.

“I had it but I finished it,” Steve said.

“Are you staying with us?” The boy asked.

“Yes, what do you think if we stay another week and spend the four of us time together and have fun?”

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you. Steve”

Something felt off. There was a wrenching pain in Bucky’s stomach, as if his organs were being rearranged within his body. Standing in the Wakandan forests Bucky remembered calling out to Steve, desperate for reassurance in his best friend’s eyes as he watched his hand dissolve right in front of him and turn into ash.

Steve was unable to give any reassurance, not to Bucky or anyone else around him. He didn’t know what happened except that they lost.

The light was blinding even from behind closed lids and when Bucky finally opened his eyes he was met with a glow all around him. There was light but no sun, there was nothing but an autumn sky set ablaze. This fiery world was cooler than he expected it to be and yet there was no atmosphere. He didn’t breathe nor did he need breath, there was no food and yet he never felt hunger.

Bucky was stuck in limbo wondering how to get out. If his life was truly over then he wanted to move on. After the life he’s lived he thought he deserved to finally rest but in his mind he knew he couldn’t. There was always more to do; more people to save, more lives to make a difference in, more chances to atone for his sins.

What happened? Where are we? Are we dead?

The questions plague his mind. He hears so many voices asking the same thing. They’re so close and yet muffled from a distance. Sometimes he sees the faces, strangers crying out in front of him. Some are shouting. Some are crying. There are babies, infants that couldn’t be more than a few hours old. They’re all alone, crying out into this golden world with no one able to help.

The faces try to touch him or one another but they never seem to reach. Fear is cemented in the depths of his soul making Bucky wish death would come for him. He feels trapped, like the Soldier again, but instead of a cryogenic prison he’s stuck in a bubble, floating on some plane of existence, surrounded by millions yet he’s all alone.

Time is different here and just like Bucky it doesn't seem to quite exist. He slips in and out of consciousness, unable to tell if there’s been any sort of temporal shift. Everything looks the same, always.

What happened? Where are we? Are we dead?

The questions are always haunting him but this time he recognizes the voice.

The endless landscape of orange stretches out for miles. He hears the voice again, Y/N’s voice and she’s scared. Bucky does his best to focus on her but his concentration summoned a mass of people instead. He hears her still, through the sea of souls. He thinks he’s calling out to her, willing his legs to run in her direction even though he isn’t moving at all.

He focuses again, thinking only about Y/N. She was fairly new with the Avengers before the Sokovia Accords tore them all apart. Even when Bucky doesn’t try he still causes destruction. But Y/N believed in him, fighting alongside him and Steve and bravely sacrificed herself along with the others so they could get away safely to head to Siberia.

She’s been on the run with Steve ever since and Bucky realized he never got the chance to thank her for everything. When she landed in Wakanda it wasn’t the right time as everyone was gearing up for a battle against aliens but now she’s here, kind of.

Exhausting every part of himself Bucky conjured up her image in his mind, silencing all voices but hers until just she was in front of him.

“Bucky!” Y/N cried out. “Bucky, what happened? Where are we?”

Her voice trembled with fear and Bucky would give anything to be able to wrap his arms around her. She fades away, disappearing as if he shut his eyes but Bucky wills her back. He needs her there.

“Are we dead?” she wondered as much as he did.

Bucky wonders if he’s in the moment between life and death, where the brain is still working until it realizes it doesn’t have to. Maybe his serum enhanced brain is working overtime. He wonders how long he’ll be stuck in this world before death. But if this is the end why is Y/N here? Or Sam? Or T’Challa? If his life is flashing before his eyes then why does everyone else look scared?

“Y/N,” he whispered but she was no longer there.

He’s not sure if she heard him before she disappeared or if she would be able to hear him if he called out to her now, not that it would make a difference. He had no answers to her questions and even if she were right in front of him again there was little he could do to comfort her.

Of all people Y/N deserved better. She joined the Avengers to help others, not live in the shadows of the world, losing her freedom the day she fought her teammates to protect a man she never met. The least Bucky could do was return the favor in some way, but here, trapped in this glowing abyss he had nothing to offer.  

Bucky is drowning in a sea of amber, floating along endlessly, aimlessly until suddenly he’s not.

With a deep gasp he’s pulled from the depths and his lungs expand, filling himself was an overabundance of air. As Bucky is dropped to the ground he feels the soft grass beneath him. There’s wetness between his fingers from the dew and his pants are soaking it up, staining his knees with wet circles. The air is crisp and light and he smells it, he feels it!

The wind is blowing softly against his skin and his heart skips a beat. He feels it again, his heart, beating in his chest and he sighs in relief. It’s only when he hears a voice that tears begin to flow steadily down his cheek.

Steve is by his side before Bucky can even stand up, embracing him in the tightest hold imaginable as if Steve Rogers is expecting the world to take Bucky away from him again. Bucky doesn’t care how strong Steve’s grip on him is as he savors the feeling of being held. Wherever he was he couldn’t touch anything, not even himself but now Bucky wants to touch everything, feel everything for the first time again just because he could.

He pulls back just a bit to focus on Steve, with both hands cupping his smooth face. Steve’s beard was long gone, his hair was short again and he looked just as exhausted as Bucky felt.

Everything was a blur once more as Sam, Y/N, Wanda, T’Challa and Shuri were suddenly surrounding them along with Natasha, Tony, Scott, Bruce, Clint, Rhodey, the talking racoon and a few others he doesn’t recognize.  

“It’s been five years Buck,” Steve said, struggling to smile, “It’s good to have you back.” He wiped his cheek and helped Bucky up before greeting the others.

“What happened?”

Bucky didn’t have to look to know that was Y/N’s voice asking the same question she asked from wherever they were. He wanted the answer as much as she did but he couldn’t handle the question, not from her, not after he was tortured by the fear and pain in her voice. He heard her questions go unanswered every moment in the orange void and now that she was in front of him again Bucky could barely look at her, unable to stop the guilt he felt for never being able to help.

A week had passed since Bucky returned from what he was told was “The Soul World”, a plane of existence he and everyone who vanished had been believed to be placed.

In their final battle with Thanos they discovered more about the Infinity Stones than before. Each one was sentient and when Thanos initially snapped his fingers to use them to destroy half of humanity the Soul Stone decided it had a soul of its own and it couldn’t submit to the total decimation of billions. Instead it stored everyone in a world buried within itself.

The revelation has Bucky longing for the days when Howard Stark’s somewhat flying car was the wackiest thing he’s ever seen.

The information came from a face he’s never seen before, a woman who’s apparently travelled all over the universe, a powerful being nicknamed Captain Marvel but to everyone she was Carol.

The world wanted answers so the two Captains along with Tony, a god-like man named Thor and a robotic blue woman named Nebula took to the spotlight. They made a promise to all beings, humans or not, that they are not alone in their fight to live. Whether it’s Earth or another realm to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, there will be protectors fighting alongside them.

It was quiet as the world healed. Friends and families all over were reunited, and right here Tony scoops up a giggling toddler with dark hair and rich brown eyes staring back at him, reminding him that dreams do come true.

In celebration of life restored Tony planned on throwing the biggest party at the Tower. While Scott was excited to invite his loved ones over Clint said quiet goodbyes and returned to his family, he doesn't expect he’ll be back any time soon.

Aside from little Anthony running around the compound was peaceful, with everyone doing their best to get back to a routine. Y/N returned to her bedroom, rummaging through some boxes she still hadn’t unpacked before everything with the Accords went down.

Other members moved in to new rooms, with Bucky hesitantly exploring the surroundings of his new dwelling. His life was changing again but now after everything that’s happened he finally feels like he can settle down somewhere.

He has Steve and though Bucky will never admit it he’s even happy Sam is there too. He hopes Nat can help fill in parts of his past he can’t remember, and really he wants to get to know everyone, and have them get to know him too.

The content smile he didn’t realize formed quickly faded at the sound of her voice– Y/N. She’s asking Wanda a question in the hallway. Why is she always asking questions? Bucky can’t hear her voice without hearing her pleas for help. Guilt eats away at what little happiness he’s trying to preserve.

Bucky doesn’t want to avoid Y/N but he can’t seem to face her. He wants to apologize for so many things. He’s sorry that because of him Y/N had to fight her friends and get thrown in a prison, she was a fugitive and had to cut off contact with her family, she was stuck in a world where time didn’t exist and yet in every minute of every endless hour of every countless day of their infinite eternity all she wanted was someone to reach out. Bucky may not have had the answers but he could have been a friend and now he doesn’t think he’s worthy of even that.

Laughter floats through the air as everyone is gathered together in the large common room of the compound enjoying a little pre-party party. Music fills the background though no one can actually enjoy a song, not when Peter Quill is enamored with Spotify. He skips past each song just because he can, moving from artist to artist and all across the genres with childish delight.

“Hey leave this one,” Carol shouts hoping Peter doesn’t skip over Def Leppard.

Carol leans back against the couch, bracing one foot against the coffee table as she knocks back a beer spiked with a little Asgardian mead, singing with a very drunk Scott beside her. Bucky recognizes the rift of the guitar playing over the heavy drum and exhales with content as everyone else joins in for the chorus.

“Pour some sugar on me! Oooh, in the name of love!”

He hides a cringey smile behind the bottle of his own drink at the sound of Natasha’s slightly nasal and very off key voice that pierces his ears. He’ll never tell her though and he suspects not another soul will dare either, well except for Rocket; he doesn’t seem to have a filter and the thought of a fight between the two does sound like fun.

Above her voice is Y/N’s, playful and hypnotic. The subtle innuendo of song is made sexier by the sultry way the words fall from her lips and the way her body sways to the beat. Bucky would be lying if he said she wasn’t beautiful, that the air wasn’t stolen from this lungs the moment he met her in the parking garage at that German airport, that in between all the fighting he wasn’t mesmerized by her in action, that he didn’t feel like absolute shit leaving her amongst the others to be captured as he and Steve fled.

Y/N’s eyes catch Bucky’s and he quickly looks away but with slow, calculated caution his eyes find her form again. His heart skips a beat from the wide smile that’s spread across her beautiful face. His own lips are pulled into a curve when he spots the crinkles around her eyes. Bucky likes seeing Y/N happy and he’d love to make her happy if he could only find the courage to talk to her.

When the song ends Quill continues his attempt at wanting to hear every song ever created all at once. Y/N plops on the couch beside Sam who is slightly annoyed when she begins to talk over him to converse with Hope.

Sam shoots an incredulous look towards Y/N, with wide eyes and flaring nostrils, “Do you mind? I’m tryin’ to tell a joke here.”

Y/N’s words come out amongst laughter, “Well I don’t think your jokes quite land Birdbrain!”

Bucky’s smile grows as does his fondness for her.

“Look you’re even putting Drax to sleep!” she pointed towards the brawny man whose mouth was stretched open wide mid-yawn.

“It’s true, the Bird Man exhausts me with his constant yammering,” Drax affirmed.

“It is so nice to meet a bird man,” Mantis said softly, with innocence filling her large black eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Look at what you started,” he said to Y/N who continued to laugh.

Overhearing the conversation Carol spoke up. “I’ve encountered real bird men before. The Shi’ar are not to be taken lightly.”

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to be insulted now,” Sam remarked to Carol, “I thought you had my back, what happened to Air Force loyalty?”

Despite her tales of battle against the Shi’ar, Drax had fallen fast asleep. He slumped against Mantis who struggled to free herself from his crushing weight. He hit the cushions face first after she shimmied out from under him but it didn’t disturb his slumber at all. In fact, Drax’s snores began to rumble loudly and everyone looked around at each other, smiling deeply as they held back laughter.

Mantis moved to the other side of Y/N and broke the awkward silence apart from the loud snores asking, “Do birds sleep?”

“I don’t know, ask Sam.” Y/N burst into a fit of laughter at her own response and Sam threw his hands up into the air. “Oh come on now!”

There was no holding back anymore as roars of laughter filled the room. Drax continued to sleep through it all and Bucky fell for Y/N even more. She looked so carefree, so happy in a way he had never seen before and Bucky wanted to make her happy for the rest of his life.

Y/N got up from the couch, asking if anyone wanted a refill and Bucky thinks he could convince his legs to take him towards her. If he just says something, anything to break the ice then he could finally apologize and maybe that would open the door to something more.

As Bucky went to stand from the couch heavy vines wrapped around his torso and pulled him back. Bucky rolls his eyes hearing the tiniest pitter patter of claws against the floor and audibly sighed as Rocket sat next to him, barely causing a dip in the cushion.

“You and I have unfinished business.” Small sharp teeth flash as Rocket smirks and Bucky realizes that he is about to have this conversation again.

“Before you start the answer is no,” he huffed.

Squeezing himself next to Bucky, Groot’s sharp bark covered form scratches at Bucky’s arm. “I am Groot,” he said.

“No I will not leave him alone, he’s taunting me with that arm!” Rocket retorted.

“I am Groot.”

“No you idiot, he’s just trying to drive up his price.”

“I am Groot?”

“Exactly. He’ll grow a new one just like you.”

Bucky was stuck between Rocket and Groot, unable to move since the latter’s vines were still wrapped around him. He could break through the hold but Bucky didn’t want to hurt the kid, err, sapling. Instead his head dropped into his hands, one of which was definitely not ending up with Rocket.

As he picked his head up he saw Y/N back on the other couch, watching the whole scene in delight. Bucky shared a smile with her, finding temporary relief in the comfort of her sparkling eyes.

New York has never been more alive than it is right now. The roar of victory grows more and more each night with people celebrating. Love and happiness cleanses the air, renewing the spirit of the city.

Overlooking the streets is Bucky, leaning against the railing of the balcony of the Tower, avoiding the party a few feet away. It’s in full swing with music steadily pumping and everyone is having a great time, everyone but him.

Y/N was inside, looking as beautiful as ever and Bucky, being the coward he is, is hiding outside trying to give himself encouragement to talk to her. He pinches his nose, and drags his fingers down his face as he lets out a deep sigh. He can do this.

Walking back in Bucky sees Y/N across the room talking with Nebula who looked as uncomfortable as Bucky felt. He’s definitely not one to let loose, not anymore, and definitely not when guilt is constricting every breath he takes.

Y/N is headed for the bar and Bucky makes his way to meet her, hoping he can will any words to leave his mouth. She smiles as he stands beside her, giving her drink order to the next available bartender.

Bucky becomes lost staring at her, unaware that someone has asked what he would like to drink. He’s nervous and fumbling his words and Y/N chuckles under her breath. The smile across her face doesn’t make him any less nervous and Bucky blurts out the first thing he can think of.

“Did you know some birds sleep in flight?” he asked with a little too much enthusiasm.

Y/N’s brows knit in confusion towards the random fact presented to her.

“Uhh….” he stammered, trying to collect himself enough to continue. “From last night, the uh... the question, ‘do birds sleep?’ So, they do, obviously, but s-some do so in flight. For instance, the alpine swift, it can spend most of its life in flight so uh, yeah that’s just s-something I know.”

Of all the things he wanted to say to her this was not one of them. Y/N doesn't say anything and not knowing what else to do Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, his hand burning against his overheated skin. Every moment of Y/N’s silence was torture and Bucky chastised himself internally for opening his stupid mouth.

“I’ve never heard of an alpine swift before.”

The lightness of her tone eased some of Bucky’s anxieties, prompting him to respond quickly. “They’re a migratory bird in Africa.”

As embarrassed as Bucky was for himself he was thankful Sam was on the other side of the room, not listening to Bucky rattle off facts about birds like an idiot.

“I could show them to you, if we’re ever in Wakanda again.”

The moment the words leave his lips he regrets saying them. The last time they were in Wakanda they fought a losing battle and lost years of their life. Bucky notices her smile is gone, she’s tense as she gulps down her drink.

“Yeah, maybe,” she spoke without enthusiasm, before giving him a quick goodbye and headed back to the others.

Bucky’s grip around his own glass tenses, feeling miniscule cracks stretching across the glass from the pressure. He swallows everything quickly and slams it on the counter, ignoring the possible shattered mess he’s left the unfortunate bartenders. Bucky retreats to the balcony again, feeling the weight of his recent faults. Once again, Bucky has let Y/N down.

After saying goodbye to their friends from afar mostly everyone else has come back to the compound. A week has passed since the party and Bucky hasn’t spoken to Y/N, worrying that he’ll keep digging himself a deeper hole unless he avoids her completely.

It’s quiet in the halls. Steve had gone running earlier and Bucky declined the invitation. He was having trouble sleeping and didn’t have enough energy to deal with Sam that early in the morning.

When he finally gets out of his room he heads to the kitchen to make breakfast, but abruptly stops in the hallway as he spots Y/N. The coffee machine on the counter was gurgling as it began to brew.

Y/N is gazing out of the large window, smiling at the beautiful landscape, the deep green of the lush trees, the pure blue of the lake. She smiles as she inhales deeply, letting out a shaky breath. Bucky can see her eyes are glossed over, and for once he believes those are tears of joy.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, walking forward.

Y/N turned her head to find Bucky walking towards her. “Yeah, it really is,” she answered, wiping a stray tear that fell down her cheek. “Never thought I’d see it again.”

What happened? Where are we? Are we dead?

Her questions still swirl in his mind. Fear laced through every word, wondering where they were or if the sky will ever be blue again. The unknown was a frightening thought that plagued them all. Would they ever escape? Would Bucky ever see Steve again? Could he ever comfort Y/N?

Bucky winces as he bit down hard on his lip, unaware he had been mindlessly chewing on it while losing himself to the questions swirling around his mind like a hurricane.

He stares at Y/N again, and perhaps it’s the tears in her eyes that give him the final push to say what he needs to. “I owe you an apology.”

Y/N turned her head again, unsure of what Bucky is apologizing for.

“No, I owe you so much more. First a thank you, for putting yourself on the line for me in Berlin.”

“You don’t have to–”

“Please,” he interrupted, staring up at Y/N with big blue eyes that pleaded for her to let him continue. “You spent years on the run ‘cause of that choice and I never had the chance to tell ya how grateful I am for what you did. A thanks isn’t enough but it’s all I have to give.”

Y/N’s lips curved into a soft smile as she accepted his apology. She appreciated his words but even if he hadn’t apologized if given the chance she wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was bad enough Bucky spent most of his life as a pawn of Hydra, Y/N wasn’t going to idly sit by while he was being blamed for something he didn’t do.

The bubbling of the coffee maker stopped and Y/N asked if he wanted a cup as she went to grab her own.

“Yes– No,” he retracted. With a stiff inhale Bucky shut his eyes tight, unable to face Y/N for what he was about to say. Gritting through his teeth, “There’s something else.”

She stopped and turned to face him again and became concerned by the look on his face. Fear and regret were stirring in his eyes while sorrow was etched deeply in the downward pull of his mouth, and Bucky felt as if the weight of his guilt could never lift them again.

He began a few times, stuttering and unsure how to start, and then Y/N put her hand on his arm, whispering comforting words and he let out a strangled cry.

“You shouldn’t comfort me, not when...”

Bucky wiped his face harshly, dragging the tears from his cheek. He wrung his hands together as he took a few more inhales before gathering his words.

“I couldn’t comfort you. I couldn’t help you at all when we were… there. I heard your voice every day, and every day you asked those questions, and I didn’t do anything about it. I owe you my life and I couldn’t even answer a goddamn question.”

Recalling his feelings made him anxious so he paced in front of Y/N, refusing to look her in the eye as he continued.

“Sometimes you were there, other times it was just your voice but still… you were scared and I should have answered you. I should have done something!” Bucky is crying again, not bothering to wipe the tears anymore. He drops his head and with defeat lacing his tone he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Y/N stands silently in front of him, scanning the slope of his shoulders, hunched with a terrible burden he was never meant to carry. She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, remembering how awful it was to be trapped in that unknown world but her heart broke for Bucky, knowing on top of everything that happened he shouldered himself with an impossible belief, that he could have fixed things.

“Oh, Bucky,” she sighed, throwing her arms around his solid frame.

He stiffened under her touch, half unexpected, while the other part of him was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Y/N was warm and soft against the hardness of his body and when she squeezed him a little tighter Bucky swallowed the lump caught in his throat.

Bucky felt cared for, loved even, all from her embrace. It’s all he ever wanted, what he dreamt about every moment while he was trapped in that world. Now she’s against him and Bucky finally let’s his fear go.

He relaxes against Y/N who shuffles a bit to adjust against the weight of his body though her hold is still firm. She didn’t know Bucky very well but it was no secret that he was deprived of kindness for too long. A gentle touch was the least she could give him.

Y/N smiled proudly when she felt his arms snake around her back, bringing her closer because Bucky needed it. He sniffed a few times, swallowing back his tears, allowing the comforting silence to wash over them both.

When his heartbeat returned to a more stable rhythm Y/N loosened the hug just enough to pull her head back to look at him. Her lips curved up to a soft smile and she looked at him like she was staring through to his soul.

“Bucky, I need you to know that I don’t blame you for anything. The choices I made to help you were my own and I would do them again without hesitation.”

His lips twitched, teetering on the edge of a smile and Y/N continued to stare at him with composed conviction in her eyes.

“And I certainly don’t blame you for not being able to do anything when we were trapped. We were powerless, all of us. Even if you could respond what would that have done huh? Did you know the answers?”

Bucky shook his head quickly in response. Though she had a point Bucky couldn’t let the guilty feeling go, “I could have…” he sighed, realizing the truth, there was nothing he could have done to change their circumstances. “You were so scared and all I thought about was wanting to comfort you.”

“Like this?” she asked, giving a little squeeze of her arms against him.

Bucky’s head hung down, but this time with a chuckle she managed to pull from him. “Yeah, like that.”

His massive arms squeezed her in return with just enough pressure to keep it comfortable. Y/N smiled back at him, beaming like the sun and the thoughts of kissing her quickly consumed his mind. Bucky’s tongue slowly swept across his lips wetting them but instead of leaning in he pulled apart from her; he was a gentleman after all.

Without breaking eye contact and before he loses his nerve he spits the words out he’s been holding onto for a while. “I know we don’t know each other well but I’d like to change that.”

His heart drops to his stomach like a solid rock as he waits for an answer. His nerves are bubbling beneath his skin like boiling water. Three simple words is all it takes for Bucky to feel relief.

“I’d like that,” she said, smiling back even wider than before. “There’s a path along the water and I think we’re long overdue for some fresh air.” Y/N stretches her hand out towards Bucky, “Will you walk with me?” she asked.

He takes her hand, joining them together like they were always meant to be linked. Bucky answers her question with ease, leaving his guilt behind as they walk together towards the future.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated :)

Last month you were on a Cheez-its kick. One night you were in the common room watching a tv show with Wanda when you heard the rustle of the bag. Immediately, you knew it was your snacks for your babies and someone else was eating them. You didn’t think anything of the small yelp that was heard, all you knew was you needed those crackers.

“Y/N, sweetheart, I’m gonna need you to let go before you break my finger.”

Hearing your husband is when you noticed you were now in front of him with his fingers bent at an unnatural angle. Immediately you let go of his hand and began apologizing to him. But because you panicked a bit that you had broken his finger, your husband sent you to the room. “The babies and my girl need all rest they can get. Now, go. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Of course, you listened, but it being a Friday night, meant it was family night. Which also meant you were only allowed to lay down for about an hour before you were politely carried out of your room for game time. Which is what lead to “TCAA” which stood for the cheerio assassination attempt.

You hadn’t eaten dinner because nothing sounded good, so while everyone was playing some game Sam was teaching Steve and Bucky you grabbed the last of your Cheerios. “Y/N, sweetheart, come in here after you get your cereal. I need your help!” You could hear Steve call out from the common room.

Once you’re sitting next to him on the couch Sam wins the game and the boys get up and move to the open space behind the couches. While you were eating your cereal, the man-children started making bets about whose skills are the best, which is never good during game nights. That didn’t bother you though, everyone knew to leave you alone when you were eating, so you were perfectly fine with what they were doing. However, you did notice that they kept getting – unintentionally – closer to where you and Steve were sitting.

That’s when the disaster of the TCAA began.

You stood up because you were having little pains in your stomach– which you figured out fairly quickly were contractions – when Pietro and Sam had run behind you and Steve while Clint was shooting at them trying to prove his aim was best. However, instead of hitting either of them, Clint’s practice arrow had hit your bowl and cracked it spilling your precious cereal all over the floor. The crash of the bowl hitting the floor cause time to still and when it resumed all hell had broken loose.

When you heard your bowl crash to the floor, instinct had you pulling Nat’s gun out from the bookshelf and take a step forward. When the glass crunched under your foot that’s when everyone noticed the gun in your hand. But before anyone could register anything other than that, you had pulled the trigger, twice.

After pulling the trigger you looked away from your targets and you noticed Tony was standing in front of you. His nanotech Iron Man hands were on and he had both bullets in his palm and you stared at him wide eyed with your mouth slightly open.

That’s when your husband finally snapped back into the moment and walked over to you. “Doll? Why? Why did you shoot at them?” He inquired and stared at you in disbelief.

You furrowed your brows and rubbed your stomach when a sharp pain hit, “they shot my cheerios, Stevie. That was all I had left, a-and they made me spill them.” You could feel your eyes begin to water and sniffled softly as the pains began to happen every couple of minutes. Looking up at Steve, once the pain leveled out for a minute, you could see he was slightly worried. You knew pulling a gun out wasn’t the right thing to do, obviously. It was just cereal, but it was the only thing you felt like eating at the moment. The only thing you felt you could keep down with the pain lingering around in your stomach.

“Shooting someone because they made you spill your Cheerios is still attempted murder!” Steve chided and when you gasped out, he didn’t think anything of it, yet. Something happened but you weren’t exactly sure what is was just yet. The one thing you knew for sure was you felt weird.

“I know Stevie. It was wrong, I know that! They shouldn’t of – oh shit.” You look down to the floor and freeze. Your husband doesn’t notice you cut yourself off and keeps on with his rant. Ranting about how shooting teammates isn’t the nice thing to do and how food isn’t ever a thing to fight over. When you finally grip the fact that you were going into labor, you looked up at him you felt your heart swell with pride. Because in that same moment in which your water broke and he was ‘disciplining’ you for shooting at the team, you knew saw he was going to be a damn good father.

Your husband paused in his rant long enough to notice you were digging your nails into Bucky’s arm and doing your Lamaze breathing. He looked behind you to see Tony had your hospital bags in hand while on the phone with Pepper. “Y/N? What’s wrong? Tony, why the hell do you have the baby’s bags?” He blurts out question after question and you nod at Bucky to cover his mouth while you sit for a second.

“Stevie, I need you to calm the hell down. Alright?” Bucky finally interrupted Steve’s questioning.

“If it’s really that complicated to understand Steve, your wife’s water just broke. The Rogers’ twins are coming, we need to get Y/N to the hospital.”

Steve looked terrified for a split second and you calmly called out his name and watched as he switched right into protective ‘daddy’ mode and jumped into action. He got you to the car, gave Happy the instructions of how to get to the hospital and told the rest of the team where to wait, and you were off.

Once you were at the hospital, things moved quickly. It was a surprise to even the doctors and nurses how quickly your body got ready to deliver your twins but there was no stopping labor once it started. Within six hours of arriving at the hospital you were left with a little boy and a little girl in your arms.

These small tiny little beans were a product of yours and your husband’s love. Holding them in your arms, you felt your heart overflow with love for your two little beans. You knew the exact moment your husband love for them grew a million times over.

Watching your husband fawn over your babies made your heart soar. It was such an overwhelming sight to watch his entire being light up like the fourth of July with love for the twins. Doing the mother-baby skin to skin contact, you couldn’t help but coo at them. This was such a surreal moment of having them in your arms. You let Steve do his father-baby skin to skin to let him have his bonding time before the troops came in to visit.

“Y/N? Do we have to let everyone come in, sweetheart? Can’t they just wait to see them until we get back home?” Steve whined at you. You laughed softly trying not to wake the babies and shook your head. “Babe, their family. If you don’t go get them, they will destroy the hospital trying to find our room.” Rolling his eyes he kisses the twins and you then leaves to find where the team is waiting.

After about 10 minutes, he returns shaking his head and smiling at you. Slowly following in behind Steve, you hear the arguments begin of who gets first dibs on holding them and what they are going to be called when the twins get older. You smile brightly at Pepper as he shushes everyone and walks over next to you while everyone else crowds the room. She brushes a finger over your baby girls’ cheek and coos at her while Tony does the same with your little man. Looking around the room, seeing everyone’s eager faces Steve announces you both have picked out the twins god-parents.

“So, for their god-parents, we picked Bucky as their godfather and Pepper as their godmother.” You watch as Tony lights up like a star and you know he takes that as he is honorary godfather too.

Letting everyone get a chance to hold the babies, listening to them comment on how adorable they are and who they look like right now, you wait for the question. No one had known the names you picked out for the twins, just you and Steve did. Finally, Vision asks, “What are the little human’s names?”

Steve leans down and kisses your forehead and nods at you to let everyone know. You smile and happily exclaim, “here our little boy is Steven Grant Rogers Junior. And over here is baby girl is Sarah Rebecca Rogers.”

You look over to Bucky and see his eyes slightly mist over and notice as he holds Sarah a little closer to his chest. Looking around to see everyone had a bit of misty eyes, as they were talking about all the different things they can’t wait to teach them. From fighting to shooting to archery and building things. Watching everyone interact with the twins and talking about the future, that was the second you knew you and your husband weren’t the only ones who had fallen deeper in love with the babies.

No one was fighting against the feelings in the atmosphere. In fact, everyone was embracing everything that was going on.

Steve Rogers. A name that makes my skin crawl. America’s Golden Boy gets on my nerves, and if it weren’t for the fact that I need to be a functioning part of this team, I would be so far away from him.

So, you can imagine my delight when I was told we were going on a mission together, in the woods, in the middle of winter, with no one else. Tony Stark I will cut your-

 The gentle sunlight moves behind the pine trees dancing in the wind. I’ve spent most of this long, painful, and awkward car ride staring out of the window. Steve’s hands tightly grip the steering wheel painting his knuckles with white.

 “That can’t be comfortable, can it?” I shouldn’t have broken the silence; poor Steve looks like he’s gonna have a stroke. Can he even have a stroke?

“Well, don’t ask me, I barely noticed.” He chuckles between the words making the conversation seem less like we’re stuck in a pit with no way to get out. Bad analogy? Maybe, I’m too tired to really think anymore.

Stretching I speak, “How long till we get there? I’m ready to pass out.” Steve glances at the GPS, pondering the roads and the time.

“Shouldn’t be too long.” He glances at the sky before turning onto a dirt road.

 ------------------

 The door creaks open and dust flies all around, swirling as it falls back to the wooden panels. I flick on the light switch as I cross my fingers that it doesn’t burn down. The hallway illuminates and I peer down to the kitchen. Success.

Steve marches past me, his shoulder blade clipping mine. Jeez how rude is this guy?

The kitchen is mostly empty, dishes and silverware neatly stacked in fives, the pantry filled with canned food and nonperishables, plus some things like flour and sugar. Hopefully I can cook with these things.

There’s two small bedrooms and a living area with a fireplace and a metal door with small windows looking to the outside world. Grey sheets and woolen blankets on each bed and one - count it, one - bathroom. Awesome, this should be fun.

We set out to bringing the bags in, all duffel bags, it’s the easiest way to pack and move. Steve sets his in the bedroom on the right, so I guess I’ll take what’s left. Get it, get… never mind.

Barely three words are spoken that night.

“I’m off, night.” Steve doesn’t waste time lingering in the doorway, walking off to presumably shower and get to bed, something I’ll be doing soon. But for now, tea.

I dust myself off as I stand moving to start my kettle. I’m smart, and bringing an electric kettle is a must for someone like me. Grabbing a mug, I plunk the teabag into it and wait for the water to boil. The sky changes into colors of lavender and baby blue as the sun lowers even further. I miss the woods when I’m in New York. I mean for Steve, it’s all he’s ever known - city, city, freezing ice, and more city.

Why am I thinking about Steve? This is me time, where the only trace that he’s here is the sound of running water. He better not take all the hot water, that jerk.

 I quickly finish my tea and wait for a few minutes to make sure I have hot water. Maybe that’s not how it works, but it eases my mind quite a bit. The shower goes my fast, and before I know it, I’m cuddled under fleece and wool, half asleep. And yet my mind moves back to my housemate. Why does he bother me so much? I barely speak to him. Well one thing’s for sure. This is gonna be a long week.

 ---------------------

 The sound of birds wakes me up, funnily enough, Steve isn’t standing over my bed saying, ‘wake up its 4 AM’. Ok, maybe that is an exaggeration, but 5 AM is still too early, even in my book. Unlike the rest of the Avengers, I never received military training. I was a special person with some amazing powers to heal. At least, that’s how Fury put it.

I meander into the kitchen, throwing my hair into a ponytail. Time to make German pancakes.

 ------ Steve’s POV-----

 I awake to the smell of sugar and flour being cooked. Y/N. Well someone’s up early. Pulling myself up I grunt, letting my shoulders catch up to me. The scent drags me into the kitchen as I’m taken aback by the sight of Y/N humming and dancing about the small kitchen, her hair a mess and clothes wrinkled. This wouldn’t be easy.

Since the day I met her, I’ve been crushing on Y/N L/N. And I have no way to explain it. After Peggy, I never thought I would love again, but she ran in and crushed my world. Problem is, I’m too awkward to do anything about it.

She glances up, noticing me for the first time, obviously shocked.

“How long have you been there, creep?” She giggles as the words leave her mouth.

“Not too long, long enough to see you scorching your… what are those?” I smirk, glancing down at the pan.

She glares, flipping the flat disk of flour, then turning back to me.

“For your information, they are called German Pancakes. My grandma used to make them all to time.” Y/N plates one and dusts powdered sugar on it.

Her arms balance two plates on them as she walks over to the small oak table in the corner. “Bon Appetit!” A smile moves across her face as she gestures to the table.

Smirking I sit down. “Finger food?” Confusion flashes before she remembers.

She grabs a fork and sets it down in front of me, clearly anxious to see what I think. I pick up the fork and cut a small bite before eating it. Her gaze remains on me the whole time, awaiting my response.

“Alright, I will admit that you make an amazing breakfast.” She pumps her fist in the air.

“Yes! I will take it.” Her gaze falls, and she sit next to me. “So, why do you never talk to me? Do you not like me?” If only you knew.

“No. I mean, yes. No, I- I mean, I don’t dislike you. Why do you avoid me?” I place the fork down next to the plate.

“Well, you make me mad. I never did anything wrong, yet you avoid me like the plague.” A sigh escapes her lips and she looks at the pancake.

‘’Alright then, let’s change that.”

“Ok, Capsicle- “

“Have you been talking to Sam?”

“Don’t interrupt me. I was about to say I’m willing to try.”

“That’s all I need, doll.”

  ----Y/N’s POV----

 The sun sits low again as I wait for Steve to finish cooking, I’ve been banned from the kitchen till he’s done, something about it being a surprise.

The smell of potatoes, canned beef, and corn wafted throughout the small bungalow. Call my interest piqued.

“Dinner is served.” Steve enters holding two plates, a massive grin on his face.

“Finally, I thought I would starve,” I remarked.

I look down at one of the plates and instantly recognize it as Shepard’s Pie, something my daddy used to make when I was younger. Steve clearly could tell because he was rubbing his hands together in excitement.

“But, how do you know how to make this?”

“My mother made it for me because the ingredients were cheap, and we weren’t exactly millionaires.” An almost bitter expression coated his face quickly.

“Well…” I place my hand on his. “Thank you. And I’m gonna say we eat this masterpiece before it gets cold.” He smiles before going to get salt and forks.

“Oh Steve Rogers, what am I going to do about you?” I mutter under my breath. I would be lying if I said the man wasn’t attractive, but now that I was able to learn about his personality and past in a new light, I was trouble.

 ----

The dinner was divine, and I showered him with praise for it, all of which he deflected to his mum for teaching him to cook. We both cleaned the kitchen, belting Broadway songs the whole time. The night quickly settled down as both of us parted into our separate rooms for sleep.

However, mine was quickly interrupted as I heard voices in the night, they sound pained and troubled. Knowing there was only one other person in the house, I crawled out of bed and crossed the hall.

“Steve?” My voice came out in a harsh whisper but received no response.

The door creaked open and I looked to see Steve tossing and turning, mumbling unintelligible words. I settled next to the bed and hesitantly reach to his arm, rubbing up and down it.

His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, lifting me then flipping me on the bed, sitting over me.

“I mean, I know I’m attractive, but I never pegged you for that type.” I smile and ignore the pounding in my chest as I suddenly realized I was pinned underneath the 220 pound super solider who could snap me like a toothpick if he so pleased.

“Y/N,” My name was whispered in the dark and I realized he was crying. So much for the toothpick snapping.

My right hand slipped under and out of his grasp, reaching to hold his cheek. I tenderly smiled at him and watched the hero break his walls and fall down, quite literally. I slip him off me before holding his head in my lap, stroking his blond locks.

Words aren’t spoken for at least 30 minutes. He finally looks up at me and gives a weak smile.

“You don’t have to hurt on your own Steve, I’m here, so is the rest of the team.”

“Heh, guess I’m too used to being lonely.”

I give a play smack. “Well stop it.”

His eyes almost change, as does his demeanor.

“May I…” He licks his lips, searching for words. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes, Steve, I would like that very much.”

He sits and wraps his arms around my shoulders before connecting his lips to mine. His lips are chapped, but still soft. It’s gentle, as if testing the waters before you dive in. Arms locked together before his hands move to the small of my back. I gotta say, not bad for the time gap since his last kiss.

Soon we must pull away and his blue eyes stare deeply into mine. The room is silent, and he lets out a sigh, placing his forehead on mine.

“Guess I have to stop hating you now, huh?”

“I thought you already did, doll,”

“Hmm, well I’m warming up to you.”

 A laugh escapes his lips, one not held back, to its fullest extent. I miss hearing that float through the tower. It seems more intimate in this small bedroom in a cabin in the middle of nowhere city.