#mayans fluff

your relationship with Ez was still fairly new, meaning Christmas would be the first holiday you’re spending together.

you’d met Ez’s big brother before, but their dad was someone you hadn’t met. to say you were worried would be an understatement.

Ez knew you were worried, he’d been trying to calm your nerves all day, but nothing seemed to work.

so even now, as you stood outside their dad’s house, you were still worried.

“hey, it’ll be okay”

he whispered while hooking a finger under your chin to force you to meet his eyes, a soft smile plastered on his face while you sighed.

that was the thing, you knew it would be okay, Ez had told you all about his dad and what tonight would be like, but it still didn’t seem to stop your nerves.

“i’m worried”

you told him, moving your hands across his chest while he tilted his head, giving you a knowing look.

“worried about what?”

Ez asked while pulling your arms around his neck, easily holding you against his chest before you sighed.

his hands rested on your sides, soothing up and down while he waited for your answer.

“what if your dad doesn’t like me?”

he huffed a laugh at your question, already leaning in to kiss you softly, followed by a soft whisper against your lips.

“i’ve told him about you, and he likes you”

it was your turn to give him a look, but Ez was kissing you again. kisses were always Ez’s way to get you to open up and ease out of your worries.

your left hand rested on the back of his head, slowly pulling your lips away from his before you whispered to him again.

“that’s different. that’s your version of me, what if he doesn’t like the real me?”

Ez gave another soft laugh, shaking his head at the question while your bottom lip jutted out in a mix of a pout and a frown.

“baby, i promise my dad will like you”

even with his attempts to soothe you all day, your worries had persisted, and it made it seem silly now that you were actually here and standing outside.

Angel’s bike was already here when Ez pulled up, easing a small weight from your shoulders, but you were still worried about their dad.

how could you not be?

you’d never met the man before, and now you were spending the holidays with them for the first time.

this was the first big thing in your relationship, which was probably made your worries as big as they were.

“you promise?”

you asked after a minute, forcibly pulling yourself from your thoughts before you fell into a spiral too deep to get out of.

“i promise he’ll like you”

as if to prove his promise, Ez held up his left hand with his pinky extended, easily making you laugh and hook your own pinky around his to seal the promise.

Ez leaned in, capturing your lips in another kiss while you melted into the embrace, more tension slipping from your shoulders in the process.

when he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours.

“besides, Angel will have done something to piss him off again”

you laughed again, unable to stop a smile breaking out across your face at his words.

“you don’t know that”

he raised a brow before both of you erupted into laughter, your worries momentarily forgotten.

it took Ez a minute to rein himself in, but when he did, he was holding a hand out to you.

“you ready?”

his hand remained held out to you even as you paused, a sudden wave of uncertainty rushing back to you. it felt silly, it was silly, but you couldn’t stop it.

the fear of displeasing Ez’s dad so early on into your relationship wasn’t something you wanted, especially not if you were to become serious with Ez a lot further down the road.

tonight was a make or break kind of deal, and you really needed to make it.

“genuinely though, what if he doesn’t like me?”

Ez sighed, reaching for both of your hands and then pressing a kiss to each of your knuckles, a look of genuine love and comfort in his eyes.

“that won’t happen. he wants whats best for me and Angel, and when he sees you he’ll see that you’re good for me”

you sighed, nodding slowly along to his words in a last ditch attempt to psych yourself up.

another small sigh fell from your lips before you nodded with more certainty, making a smile tug at Ez’s lips.

carefully, he pulled you in against his chest and into another kiss.

“you ready now?”

he asked against your lips, already stealing another kiss before you could answer.

“yeah”

you whispered back, smiling against his lips as he stole yet another kiss.

it was softer than all of his other kisses, the embrace an act and vow of saftey until you pulled back with a determined set to your eyes.

“let’s go, i’m ready”

Ez hummed, taking your hand into his, turning towards the steps at the front of the house, but then the front door opened and Ez sighed.

Angel stood at the door, a knowing smirk on his face that made Ez huff. with his free hand, he flipped off his brother, making you laugh.

“you two coming? dads waiting”

you both quickly climbed the stairs and entered the house, shutting the door behind you while Ez greeted his dad with an apology.

but then the attention was back on you, slowly sparking a worried feeling in your gut, but Ez’s hand reaching for yours pushed it aside.

“oh she is pretty”

their dad had said as Ez gently pulled you towards him, causing heat to flood your body.

it was a mix of embarrassment and nerves, each fighting the other for control to dominate your emotions.

“the prettiest”

he told, pressing a kiss to your jaw before whispering against your ear so only you could hear.

“told you he liked you”

“Fuck, Ez.”

You were angry. Pissed off, even, as you considered how much you were going to make your best friend pay for this whole set up. As soon as you were done here, you’d drive your ass over to his place and beat the living shit out of him for ever putting you in this situation in the first place.

It was only his promise that help was on the way that kept you sitting there, looking like an idiot, waiting for a date that - clearly - wasn’t going to show up. After all, it had been over an hour now and you didn’t need a text to tell you he wasn’t coming. It wasn’t exactly a big town, so there was no way he was lost or stuck in the non-existent traffic.

He simply didn’t want to show.

Damn it.

You debated how much longer to wait before bailing on the disaster of a date as you sipped at the glass of wine in front of you, trying to work out the best way to avoid the pitying glances of almost everyone around you.

It felt like there was a giant spotlight over your head, making it clear to every single person there what a loser you were. All you could do was stare at the text on your phone and pray for a miracle.

Ez: Sit tight, Y/N. Sending back up x

You’d laughed at that. Back up? What did that mean? Was he gonna rush over here on his bike like some white knight and try to make it all better for you?

As it turned out, your guess wasn’t that far from the truth.

“Can I get you another glass of wine?” the waiter asked, pity clear in his eyes as he came over once more.

He’d been over several times in the last hour and you knew it wouldn’t be long before he asked you to either order or get the hell out. At least he wouldn’t have to ask twice; you’d sprint out of the damn restaurant so fast you’d be a blur, because pity was the last thing you needed.

This was why you never dated.

Ez knew it too - even if he’d insisted you needed to find someone to appreciate you and make you feel half as special as you always made your friends feel.

Damn his flattery. It always worked on you, even ten years or so after your first meeting.

Opening your mouth, you were stopped as someone pulled out the chair across from you and beat you to it.

“Sure, we could use a drink.” Angel glanced at the waiter, a warning look clear as he silently challenged the idiot to say something. Thankfully, the waiter knew better and simply watched as Angel reached over and patted your hand. “Sorry, sweetheart. I got caught up doing stuff.”

Sweetheart?

Had he just-?

You froze, trying not to choke on your wine as the reality suddenly caught up with you.

Angel?

Angel was here? Now? Pretending to be your date?

Your cheeks were burning as you felt your heart skip a beat, realising that somehow Ez had convinced his older brother to drive his ass all the way over here just to save you from dying of shame.

How?

You didn’t know which part of this scenario surprised you most. As it was, it was kind of hard to believe it was happening and that this wasn’t some kind of wine induced fantasy; you’d never seen Angel act so smooth around you, shooting you a smirk that made even you believe you were dating.

He was also wearing a button up underneath his jacket … but no kutte.

God. He looked sinful; no wonder the waiter wilted at the sight. The waiter also had the decency to look mildly embarrassed as he realised his mistake in assuming you were alone.

“W… what… what can I get you to drink, sir?”

It was a miracle Angel didn’t scoff at the use of ‘sir’ - as you fully expected him to. Instead, he surprised you by smiling in your direction, glancing at the already half finished bottle of wine beside you. “I’ll have another glass to share with my date.”

“Of course.”

Yep. It was official… you were dreaming.

Angel was drinking wine? But he hated wine and would never drink it normally, especially if there was a beer or alternative spirit available. It was as if he’d chosen it just to fuck with the waiter, making some kind of possessive demonstration by sharing your drink. As your date… date? Had he really said that?

Had he meant it?

Or was it simply him playing the part that Ez asked him to?

You realised, as the waiter finally laid out a clean glass on the table, that you hadn’t said a word yet. In fact, you’d been staring the whole time like some kind of awe-struck fish, your jaw moving but no sound coming out.

“T-thank you,” you managed as the waiter took your food orders and finally left you both to it.

You half expected Angel to drop the act now that you were alone. It wouldn’t have surprised you if he’d made some crass joke about the stick up the waiter’s ass or even removed his hand from where it still sat, resting intertwined with yours.

After all, Angel was only doing this to help you. Right? You had to remind yourself of that fact as you tried to process what was happening.

He hadn’t actually come here to be your date - not in a romantic sense anyway. Nor, had he dressed up for anything other than playing the part. It wasn’t like he was trying to impress you.

You - the girl who’d hung around his baby brother since middle school. The girl who he’d seen as nothing more than a little sister of his own. No wonder he was here if it meant protecting you and your feelings, rather than for any selfishness on his part.

So why did that make you oddly sad?

“You didn’t have to do this,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice and gaze steady.

“Nah, querida,” Angel shrugged. “I couldn’t leave you hanging. Especially not when your date ditched you and my little shit of a brother got you here in the first place.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“So? I wasn’t going to leave you hanging when he told me what was going on. You really think I’d let you suffer like that?”

Finally pulling your hand free, you tried not to focus on the way his eyes wouldn’t leave you or the overwhelming sincerity in his voice.

Somehow, you were desperate not to make yourself seem any more tragic or helpless than you already did. He probably thought you were being stupid, needing rescuing like some damn damsel in distress. You should have just got up and walked out the minute you’d realised your actual date wasn’t coming.

“It’s one shitty date with one shitty guy, Angel. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, even if I appreciate you doing all this for me. Things happen. I’ll get over it.”

“Well, you don’t deserve that shit.”

An unknown feeling you’d never felt before ran through your body. His tone was firm, an underlying aggression lacing his words as if somehow he was angry. Not at you though, but at the idiot who’d supposedly stood you up.

The thought made your heart flutter as a wave of heat washed over you - and not because of the wine.

For the first time in a long time you felt …. nervous? Around him?

“You sound like you’re gonna track the bastard down,” you smirked, knowing there was probably a strong likelihood of it happening anyway. Either him or Ez would be sure to ‘avenge you’ the way they had the first guy who’d ever broken your heart all those years ago. It was just their style. No one fucked with those they cared about; no wonder Toby Prentiss had been carrying that black eye around for weeks… even if you had been fifteen at the time. “But what about the club? Won’t they miss you?”

Angel chuckled. “It’s one night. Those dumbasses can survive my not being there, querida. They’ll understand considering it was a choice between either spending my night with their ugly faces, or spending the night with much hotter and way more entertaining company. It wasn’t exactly a tough choice.”

“Well… thank you for coming to my rescue,” you whispered, trying your hardest to fight the smile that threatened to show.

He took a sip of his wine, eyes alight with a look you hadn’t seen before.

“Anytime.”

Three hours later and you were walking down the surprisingly empty main street in Santo Padre. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders, keeping you close as you ignored the chilly night air.

You were happy. Actually, euphoric, was more like it, drunk on a giddy combination of laughter, wine, and the man next to you. Somehow, you knew something had changed between you tonight - you knew what you hoped that was, but you were too happy to question whether or not you’d imagined it. You’d had a great time and you weren’t about to ruin it.

Yep. Ez Reyes should thank his lucky stars as it turned out that you would be hugging his dumb-ass rather than fighting him.

“You’re kidding me. You? Angel Reyes? Bested by a poodle?” you exclaimed, trying to speak in between laughs.

Angel nodded, slipping his free-hand in his jacket pocket as he tried to play off the embarrassment on his face. “We fell down a hill, trying to stop the dogs escaping the shelter. They were just bolting everywhere and even Coco landed on his ass trying to grab some Shitzu or something.”

“How the hell have I never heard this story before?”

“I guess it never seemed to come up.”

“Well, I’m definitely gonna mention it at the Club next time I see him. I hope someone has pictures-”

You were cut off suddenly as you went to step forward. It was then that you felt your foot snag on a crack in the sidewalk, sending you staggering towards the ground. However, before you could fall flat on your face, you felt yourself being hauled backwards.

It all happened so quickly, you didn’t even realise what was going on.

Angel’s arms had somehow wrapped themselves around your waist the second you’d tilted forward, tugging you upright and back into his chest. Yet again, you felt your heart skip a beat as you stared up at your saviour of the night.

“Shit.”

“Are you okay?” His hand cupped your face to check. The touch sent a shiver through you as you helplessly wondered what it would feel like if he touched you everywhere else on your body. “Who knew it only took a bottle or two for you to be such a lightweight these days.”

“As if! I’m - I’m okay. Knew I shouldn’t have worn these damn heels. They look great but they’re a pain in the ass.” Your hand went to his wrist, taking in the concern on his face. “It seems all I’ve been doing is thanking you for rescuing me tonight.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I guess you could say that.”

“So… were we… are we …?”

“Are we what, querida?”

“Forget it, Angel.”

“No,” he stated firmly, refusing to release you as you suddenly tried to step away, panic bubbling up inside you. “Ask me. Go on. What were you gonna say?”

It was a question that both of you were terrified of asking. It was the kind of question neither of you could take back no matter the consequences that came after.

What if he said no?

What if he really was only here to help you out as a favour to you and Ez?

The very thought made your fragile nerves fray even more. You were all but ready to rip yourself from his arm and flee towards your car, never to speak of this again… and you would have, had Angel not chosen then to smile down at you - a real, ear splitting smile.

His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer so that his nose gently grazed against yours.

The warmth of his touch and the soft scent of his cologne made you giddy as you gazed up at him. You only prayed he couldn’t feel the pounding of your heart as it threatened to burst out of your chest.

“Are we on a date?” you finally squeaked, knowing it was now or never.

“I hope so,” Angel whispered softly. “Would it be alright if we were?”

You smiled, knowing the answer before it even left your mouth. “Yes, Angel. It really, really would be.”

Just like that, it was as if a match had been struck between you, igniting an inferno of passion. As it was, you’d barely finished talking before his lips surged forward against yours; apparently, actions really did speak louder than words.

Before you knew it, your fingers were gripping onto the fabric, pulling him closer in response as you gasped into his mouth. You didn’t care who saw you both, stood there in the middle of the street, making out like two horny teenagers. Inside, that was what you were, simply two young idiots feeling head over heels in love.

Yeah... you’d definitely have to thank Ez later for making this happen.

“Ok, how do you say: my name is (Y/N)?”

“Me llamo es (Y/N)?” you supplied after a pause.

“That’s right, mamita, you’re doing good.” Coco beamed at you and your heart fluttered in your chest. Even though you had been dating for 6 months, you still got a little giddy when he smiled at you. It was always such an open, genuinely joyful expression – Coco didn’t smile unless he meant it.

You glanced over at the kitchen, where Coco had come home one day to find you sticking post-it notes on all of his belongings with their Spanish translations. Refrigerator: nevera. Sink: fregadero. And inside the fridge, on the carton of milk: leche. He had just laughed, shaking his head and kissing your temple.

Your gaze returned to Coco, waiting for him to give you another word or phrase to translate, but you found him just studying you, wearing a lopsided grin.

“What?” you asked sheepishly. “Something on my face?”

Coco shook his head softly. “Nah, I just – I’m proud of you, (Y/N). You’re working hard. With this shit, for sure,” he said, gesturing at the mess of study materials, “but with all your school stuff. You’re making shit happen, ma.” He reached across the couch to place a gentle hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you for letting me be part of it.”

He picked up his cigarette from the ashtray on the coffee table and took a drag, a little flustered from the outpouring of emotion. Warmth expanded across your chest as you watched him through the faint smoke cloud.

“You wanna know the first thing I made sure to learn to say?”

He put the cigarette down and looked at you questioningly, the corners of his mouth twitching, perhaps expecting some profanity. “What’s that?”

“Te amo, Johnny,” you said with finality, your eyes focused on his, “I love you.”

There was always an elephant in the room and it was colossal, yet there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was dance around the fact that I was deeply in love with a man that did not feel the same. 

I often watched him, mainly from the corner of my eye, always longing to be his; owned by him, body and soul. 

He stood before me now, distress clearly evident on his face. Both hands clasped on either side of the door frame, eyes signalling that he wanted to come in. To relieve himself of whatever it was that was eating him up inside. 

Angel always came to me like this. I was the one he could come to for relief – release. Perhaps I allowed this to go on for too long. Letting him arrive with all those insecurities, those fears, and let him dump them at my doorstep. But I knew, as well as he did that, I would never stop him. 

My heart was close to bursting at the seams with the amount of love I carried for this man. I want to continue to take this, and accept it as enough. I was desperate to. Yet I don’t think I could last realistically, for much longer. 

“Angel.” I answered the door, voice breathless. My confidence waned, resolve breaking as I glimpsed his crumpled face looking at the ground, eyes refusing to meet mine. 

Angel was selfish. He knew this, and he hated that about himself. Hated that he found himself at my doorstep every night, seeking solace the only way he knew how. 

“Can I come inside?”

All it took was a brief nod and he was in, a faint smell of gasoline, mixed with a faint musk that I knew was my favourite aftershave of his. After shutting the door, I turned to face him, finding his gaze still avoiding mine. 

“Do you want something to drink? Eat?” I offered, already knowing the answer. 

“No. Thanks. I just came here to… to talk.”

Talk? That was a surprise. It seemed these past couple months, to me, Angel didn’t know what that was. I couldn’t help but let out a bitter chuckle. Talk! Angel Reyes wanted to talk.

“Okay,” I sighed, arms crossing my chest, “go ahead.”

His gaze finally met mine, widening slightly as they took in my appearance. I was partially clothed. My panties were on, covered by a large oversized hoodie – his hoodie, that ended just above my knees. 

“I-I’m not good with this shit but I-I just wanted you to know that I see it.” An unfamiliar feeling coursed through my body. I couldn’t tell where this was going. See it? See what?  

“I see what I do to you. What this,” he gestured between the two of us, “does to you.”

“I come over, every night without fail and you let me inside, to your home – your body. But I can’t do this. I can’t hurt you like this anymore. I see it querida, I see your face when I leave. I want you, so fucking much – always but not like this.”

Confusion, shock, and frustration were some of the feelings that bubbled inside. I couldn’t understand where this was coming from. I agreed with everything he said, but I couldn’t quite help but let the anger rise. I was Angry that he was the one making this decision. That he thought he was doing it for me, when it was obvious that what I felt - how I felt, was not what this was about. 

“Angel, where is this coming from?” I couldn’t help but keep the exasperated tone out of my voice. This man was infuriating.

“Me. I have eyes; I can see you. You’re fucking miserable and it’s all because of me.”

Shaking my head, I had to bite back a laugh. What a sick and twisted joke this was. Here the love of my life stands before me, ripping me in two. When not too long ago I was considering doing the same thing. Ending us, albeit begrudgingly.

All the while he is thinking that he’s helping. Giving me whatever it is he thinks I desire. At least, that’s what he’s deluded himself into thinking. 

“Angel,” I started, frustration close to boiling point, “maybe instead of assuming, maybe having a conversation would have been productive. Work out what I am feeling. Actually asking me! Instead, you just decided you knew.” I threw my head back groaning, gripping the roots of my hair. I was seething with the audacity of this man. The man I am so desperately in love with. 

“Angel,” I started again, voice cracking as I tried my hardest not to cry. I could not cry, “I am so fucking in love with you it hurts. That’s what you see when you leave every night. You see shame. Shame of what I feel because I know you don’t feel the same. I want you just as badly, but our wants are two different things. You want my body. I want your body and soul.”

I couldn’t say any more. I had to stop. It pained me too much to continue. But I had to. I had to let it pour out.

“I just wish that maybe we could have had some kind of conversation. But you always jump onto something, whether it be a thing or a thought and you don’t think to consider anything else. If you thought you were hurting me, why did you continue? Why did you keep coming by if you knew what this was doing to me? Why not speak to me earlier?

He was so self-destructive, and I tried to lessen the hurt but I had had enough. He needed to know what his actions, and words does to people and that there are consequences.

I could tell I had shattered him; I could see it with his shaky intake of breath. The words stung. His hands were in his front jean pockets, his face impassive as he stared at me. Though he wasn’t really looking at me; his mind was at work here. I tried to reach out to him, take his hand in mine. I wanted to plead to him, and beg him to stay and to tell him I loved him. That he should forget what he said – what I said. But as soon as I reached out, he took a step to the side, knocking into the coffee table. 

“Uh you know what,” he responded, all emotion devoid from his voice, “this was obviously a mistake. I have to go.”

“Angel wait, come on, we have to talk about this.” You can’t just say this shit and leave, I wanted to scream. 

“Angel, please.”

But he ignored my pleas.

The day of his birthday arrived and so the boys. Coco, Ez, Angel, and Gilly were on a trip to Vegas, making a delivery. They arrived in very good moods and you had a get-together to celebrate it.

The little get-together became a huge party and at some point you couldn’t spot Coco to give him his gift. You looked for him everywhere and fond him alone at the gate, looking to the empty street, smoking a cigarette.

“Why are you ditching your own party?” You said in a light tone but gave him a reassuring squeeze on his left forearm.

“Y/N... Things are confusing. Too loud in my head.” He gave you an apologetic smile and frowned at you when spotted the box in your hand. “What’s this? You didn’t have to...”

“Shut up. I know. Here, open.”  You handed the gift to him and offered a one-sided smile.

He took the box out of your hands and undid the blue bow in a swift move. When he unwrapped it, the confusion in his face made you burst in laugh.

“A camera? That’s... cool I like it.” He smiled at you.

“Oh God, you’re a terrible liar! I know isn’t your thing but give it a try... I think you need to rediscover the beauty of things. You can photograph the things you love, people you love, you can find a way to honor someone...” Your voice trailed off.

He put the cigarette out and gave you a hug, thanking you, and he meant it for this time.

                                      ___________________

“OH MY GOD you’re a fucking sniper, how can your hands tramble this much?” You were growing annoyed by the second. Ez and Angel were working near you and burst in laugh. “Mind your own business, Reyes!“ You yelled at them and they controlled the volume of the laughter but kept going. You decided to ignore it.

“Y/N I don’t wanna break it!” He answered equally angry. You exchanged a knowing look and smiled. You grabbed two beers.

When he finally understood the Polaroid wouldn’t crumble on his hands, things got easier and he learned how to use it.

The camera was always with him. You smiled at yourself when for the first time you spotted him aiming it at the bikes, then you got used to it. Then it even became annoying sometimes... You wouldn’t eat a stake with a camera aimed at you! But it was all worth it. You were so happy! He was acting different, more light and excited. He was more open to talking and spending less time alone. Even Letty, who Coco was trying to preserve before, noticed it.

Your birthday had arrived. For you was a regular day, but when you arrived at the office Angel was there, pacing at the doorway. When he spotted you, he ran to you and pulled you to a searing kiss. Ez hugged you and started rambling about the party at Vicki’s. Coco pulled you to a hug and, with an expectant smile, handed you a gift. For the shape, you knew it was a book or something.

You unwrapped it and your face lit up. It was a heavy book, the cover made from black leather, you could see it was hand sewing. You opened it and it has a dedicatory from him.

“Thank you, Y/N. For caring about me and being by my side when times get rough. You’re a treasured friend. Happy birthday! I hope you like seeing your world from my lenses...”

You started looking at the pictures and it was so beautiful and full of emotion you couldn’t help but let a happy tear or two escape. There was you, Angel and your dad, each one of them holding one of your hands... It was the day you and Angel had assumed your relationship. You working on your bike, wiping the sweat off your forehead. You and Letty talking cheerfully. You and Angel smiling fondly at each other. Ezekiel kneeling in front of you, bringing your hand to his lips on the day he lost a pool bet. You, Riz and Bishop downing drinks at Vicki’s. Gilly aiming a garden rose at you and Letty. Your bike, shining at the sun. Photo after photo portraying perfectly the beauty of each moment. The last space was blank and you looked puzzled at him.

He handed Ez the polaroid and asked him to take a picture from the two of you. He hugged your shoulders and you both smiled, the album in your hands. The picture didn’t come out as perfect as the others, but it portrayed the moment perfectly. You put the photo at the last space and smiled at him.

“Thank you so much, Coco! I love it! It’s beautiful!” You kissed his cheek and he smiled, proud.

“Yeah, thank you so much, bro” Angel spat “now my gift looks like garbage.”

You all laughed.