#mayans angst

This was the third time Angel’s phone went straight to voicemail. It was the middle of the night, and he said he would be home 3 hours ago for his and your movie night which at the end of it, you would share some thrilling life-changing news. You were worried sick about him not returning your calls, worried that something serious had happened. What if he was hurt? Or worse, dead? You decided to shoot him a text; maybe he was doing something important, making it so he couldn’t pick up right now.

📲 Angel😇

Baby, where are you? I’m worried! Please just let me know if you’re safe ok? I have something exciting to tell you. Love you❤️

You texted some of the other guys. None of them had heard anything from him. They told you not to worry. He was probably caught up with something and would turn up eventually. Luckily your brother Jax picked up when you called. You asked him for some guidance on if you should sound the alarm or wait until Angel gave off noise. Since he was in the same life as your husband, you figured he would know what’s best. He told you better to wait. That he was most likely dealing with something that had taken his full attention. If he didn’t turn up tomorrow, Jackson said he would take the drive over to help you look for him. You were so thankful for your big brother. He was always there to help you whenever he could. To protect and love you.

You refused to go to sleep before he came home or before he called you, so you knew he was safe and sound. Some movie was playing on the TV that you didn’t pay much attention to. The battle between you and your eyelids was still going strong. All of a sudden, you were woken up from your zombie state by the front door opening and closing. Footsteps that belonged to no other than Angel made their way into the dim-lit living room.

“Angel!” His movements were sort of clumsy. A sign that he had been drinking. You came to stand at his side. Holding him up by his forearm as it looked like he was going to faint face down ass up on the floor any second. Your nose scrunched up at the strong smell of the alcohol on him. “Angel, I was worried sick! Where were you?” “I was out with my brother.” His words had a pinch of sluggishness in them as he spoke. “We were supposed to have our movie night! We haven’t seen each other all week, and this was going to be our evening together.”

“Ugh,” he tugged himself out of your grasp, which took you by surprise. “Why are you so bossy all the time? I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself.” His words started to sting a little, but you didn’t think that much of it. He was shitfaced drunk, and he wasn’t his usual self. “Angel I-“ “No, you listen here, I’m sick and tired of you always going; oh Angel this oh Angel that,” he tried to mimic your voice but failed miserably, “like shut up. Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second in your life and stop being so fucking clingy.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing from him. The tears in your eyes started to build up as you held two protective hands over your stomach. Your mouth was slightly agape in disbelief. “A-Angel ple-please-“ “No, I don’t fucking care right now. I’m leaving.” And just like that, he turned around and walked out. The force of the door slamming shut shook the whole house as you were left with an emptiness inside you.

The tears ran down your cheeks like it was pouring rain outside. Your body trembled at the anxiety and stress you were feeling at what just happened. You looked down at where your hands were laid over your stomach. “I-I’m so sorry li-little bean. I’m so so-sorry, my sweetheart.”

In the morning, you woke up in the worst state you have ever been in. The same clothes as yesterday were still on you. The pounding in your head wouldn’t seem to stop. Your eyes raw from crying, and your throat felt like rough sandpaper. Wrapping the blanket around yourself, you padded down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As you stared out the kitchen window, you saw your neighbor playing with their kids, which started the production of tears again.

A gasp left you of the sound from the front door opening and Angel’s voice calling for you. You met him in the living room—both of you staring at each other without saying a word. You should be mad at him, shouldn’t you? To scream at him for saying those hurtful things? But for some reason, your heart wouldn’t allow you to do so. You were just relieved that he had come home.

Angel was the first one to break the awkward silence. “Please… sit,” he pointed towards the sofa. You sat at one end while he took his place at the other. His face was in his hands. It looked like he had something to share with you. “Angel… what is it?” Your voice was nothing but a whisper. His eyes locked with yours and his heart broke when he saw what mess he had left you in. “I’m sorry for how I acted. Yelling at you like that…saying things that aren’t true… it’s not what you deserve. I don’t know what came over me and… I have something I need to tell you.” He looked up to you as tears welled up in his eyes. You gave him a slight nod, a sign that he could go ahead with whatever it was.

“When I left in the night, I was supposed to go over to pop's house to sleep. I didn’t take the bike because I was too shitfaced to drive, so I went on foot hoping that it would sober me up… and... I just kept walking and walking until I found myself… not at Felipe’s.” He peeked up to you from where he was looking down at the floor just a moment ago. His heart broke into microscopic pieces when he saw on your face that you knew where his story was most likely going. As much as he didn’t want to finish, he had to. He had to come clean and straight with you. You deserved that much.

“I found myself at Adelita’s place… and… we hooked up.” The silence after he said that was hefty and long. Once again, he was the one to break it. “Querida… it’s the biggest fucking mistake I have ever made in my fucking life. I don’t know what the fuck came over me to do something like that to you… to us.”

He tried to get a hold of your hand, but you pulled away in disgust. You didn’t want him to touch you after he had been feeling all up on her in the night while you were home alone crying yourself to sleep. You had no words, none. Your mouth was opening and closing, but nothing seemed to escape it. “Please say something.” “Where is she?” “I don’t see ho-“ “Goddammit Angel, just tell me where the fuck she is!” The scream you let out startled him. “Sh-she’s at the clubhouse… there was some emergency that needed to be taken care of, and it couldn’t wait till later.”

At lightning speed, you had grabbed the car keys and were out the door. Angel registered what the fuck was going on when he heard the engine's roar from the car. He was quick to his feet and on his bike to try and catch up before you did anything stupid.

Not thinking straight, you barge through the Templo doors to be met with Adelita and the rest of the MC standing over a map planning something. “Sweetheart, you aren’t supposed to be here,” Bishop said with a stern manner. You didn’t hear him. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to be in the room. All you could think about was the rage filling you up as she stood there gloating at you. A smug look on her face that you knew where your man had been last night, all cozy and tangled up together in her sheets.

She didn’t expect you to jump her and start beating the shit out of her; she knew you weren’t that type of girl, so it startled her when you did. That’s when Angel walked in out of breath and saw the scene in front of him that had him stand dead in his tracks as he watched. Your hands punched and scratched as you screamed, "I'm the mother of his child, not you bitch! Don’t ever touch him again!” You didn’t register what you said, and now everyone knew. She tried to fight back, but you were much more powerful than her.

It took the guys a few moments to pull you off as they were in sheer shock at what was going on in front of them. You were usually a shy and sweet girl that wouldn’t even hurt a fly. They were surprised that you so quickly took her down. Once pulled off, Taza escorted Adelita out since it was time for her to leave. “How in the fuck did you do that?” They almost said in unison. "Jax may be my brother, but my mother is Gemma, and you definitely don’t want to fuck with us.” You knew your mother would be proud of you for standing up for yourself and for putting that bitch in her place.

“Wait… you’re pregnant.” “Yes, Angel, I’m fucking pregnant, and you’ve just fucked up our whole relationship, our future.” The tears that were threatening to spill were managed to be put under control by your choice of not showing any of them how you truly felt, sad, empty, alone, and betrayed by Angel’s choices of thinking with his dick and not his fucking brain.

You were about to storm out when he grabbed you by the forearm. “Wait, please… we can fix this! Please let me fix this dulce.” “No, Angel,” you twisted your arm to get loose of his grip; the touch of him made you cringe, “the damage has already been done. I can’t fucking stand to look at you. Not now. I’m going home… I’m going home to Charming for a while.” And with that, you left Angel there to mend his broken pieces at losing the two of you…

To Be Continued

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“Angel! Come on, we’ll be late, let's go,” you walked into your shared bedroom to go and get him. You were supposed to be at your father’s party 10 minutes ago. This was the first time you would bring Angel along, and he was nervous as fuck. This wasn’t some regular party like the ones he was used to; it was a business party. A lot of your dad’s investors would be present, discussing business and looking at the new invention his company, Techno Trends, had developed, a green source of energy that was powerful enough to light up a whole city for a year. It was a big deal, and Angel had doubts that he would fit in with all the big shot guys.

He was smoothing over his black suit, his hands trembling as he tried to adjust every piece to look presentable. “Babe,” you wrapped your arms around his torso, giving him some comfort, “please don’t be nervous. It is going to be fine. My dad loves you, and he’s so excited for you to come to one of the parties finally.” He wrapped his hands around yours, his shoulders relaxing at your comforting words and touch, “It’s not your dad I’m worried about.”

He had repeatedly declined your offer to go with you when you asked him. The fear of feeling small and stupid amongst these guys turned him off on the idea of going, but he had agreed in the end. Sooner or later, he would have to go. You turned him around, so he was looking at you.

“I will be with you the entire time. I promise I won’t leave your side. You know I’m not the biggest fan of these parties myself.” Your dad was a very important man, and it was vital for him to have you by his side. You were, in a way, the senior CEO, and your input and decisions were important to him. As much as you were considered the “Golden Girl,” you were still mischievous and full of life, and outside of business, you didn’t bother to mingle with the rich and powerful. You had your own life that you lived, but for business sake, you needed to be presentable and put on your pretty smile.

He let out a deep breath and nodded his head, giving you his smile that made you smile even more prominent. “Let’s go, Reyes.”

You held his hand the entire time as you walked up the steps to the company building. After going through the security check, you searched the crowd for your dad but didn’t find him anywhere. He was the highlight of the party; how could he not be anywhere. That’s when you felt a tap on your shoulder; as you turned around, you were met with him. “Dad,” you hugged him. “Hi, sweetheart.” Angel reached out his hand for him to shake, “Sir.” “Angel, please, I’ve told you before, call me Y/F/N, now bring it in.” Angel smiled, feeling as accepted as the first time he met your father. They hugged each other, and Angel felt more relaxed. Angel felt even more comfortable with your dad around; they did kind of have the same life.

Your dad wasn’t always the CEO of one of the biggest tech companies in the world. He was more like Angel in his younger years, an outlaw, someone who did whatever they wanted and didn’t care about the consequences. He was part of a club, doing the same illegal things Angel and his crew were doing. But after the death of your mother when you were a baby, which was caused by his involvement in the club, he knew he needed to leave. He didn’t want his only daughter to grow up without a father, so he left. Leaving his old life behind and starting a new one. It wasn’t easy, being an ex-outlaw, but your dad was smart, brilliant, and his mind was the one of a genius. So after years of struggle and sacrifice, he had finally found success in the company he founded from the ground up.

Your dad loved Angel, and he never judged him. He knew the life and how much of a struggle it could be. But he thought he was a good man and he was happy you had found him.

The night had gone as expected. You had to have boring conversations with the investors, putting on your enhanced smile and charm to get them to give you their money. Angel tried his best to keep up, smiling and nodding in agreement at all the boring things these rich men said, with their expensive suits and snobby smiles.

He and you were relieved when the food and alcohol came, digging in the small dishes that were served. “This tastes like shit,” he whispered in your ear, carefully chewing the food not to be impolite, but all he wanted was to spit it out. “I know, it always does. Let go grab burgers when the party’s over, deal?” “Deal.”

Toward the end of the night, as people were mingling with everyone, you and Angel found yourself a seat in the corner, away from the big talks, and just relieved in a moment with only the two of you. His arms were around your shoulder as you people watched. “Angel, I’ve wanted to ask you something.” “Hmm?” was all he uttered, not averting his eyes from the crowd. “So now that you’ve seen all of this, more of my personal life, when can I properly meet EZ and the rest of the gang? I feel like you don’t want me to meet them. Is something going on?”

He felt a lump forming in his throat. For a long time, he’s been afraid that you would find out that he didn’t want you to meet EZ. Afraid that EZ fit more for this lifestyle of yours and that you would realize that you picked the wrong brother to be with. This environment was more for EZ. He was smart and could contribute heavily to the company. “I-I,” he cleared his throat, “EZ has just been busy lately, you know, prospecting and shit.”

You just left the topic at that, knowing that he wouldn’t budge. Something was going on. There was a reason that he didn’t want you to meet EZ, and he was insecure to tell you why. So you would take matters into your own hands and go over to the clubhouse to properly introduce yourself tomorrow.

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Since Angel didn’t want to introduce you to his family, you would do so yourself. When Angel was out and about doing some stuff on his own, you took the liberty to go over to the scrapyard to meet everyone.

Once you arrived, you felt a little nervous. Yes, all the guys knew who you were, but they had never really met you properly; you’ve only just seen them in passing and such, exchanging a few words here and there.

You pulled yourself together and opened the door to the clubhouse. Everyone turned to look who it was. They were expecting Angel to walk in, but instead, they found his girlfriend standing there, not sure what to do. “Y/N!” They all said in unison. That made you let out a deep breath. Good, they were excited that you were here.

They walked over to you, and each of them hugged you, expressing how happy they were that they could finally meet you. They offered you a beer and a seat at one of the tables. The talking didn’t stop from the minute you arrived. They asked you questions about yourself, your job, your family, and some gossip about Angel that they may not know.

As time went on, people started to arrive at the clubhouse for a party they were holding. As most of the guys scattered around the room, some in search of alcohol, girls, or just a game of pool, you found yourself having a conversation with EZ about the upcoming tech from Techno Trends.

The guy was smart and knew what he was talking about. It kind of made you mad at Angel for not introducing you sooner to his brother. EZ had some pretty good ideas that would be of big help to the company.

EZ had just told you a funny joke as Angel entered the room. His eyes locked on you and him having a good time. At first, he was confused; how in the hell did you get here? Was that really you, or did he see things? No, it was you. He couldn’t mistake you for anyone else.

You were laughing hard, placing your hand on EZ’s shoulder for support since the alcohol had made you a little wobbly. Angel could feel himself building up with rage. This was precisely what he didn’t want to happen, and it was now unfolding in front of his eyes. As you had calmed down from the laughing fit, you found his gaze, and you smiled big, waving at him to come over, but your face turned sad when you saw him, anger on his face but still a little trace of wetness in his eyes. He stormed out of the doors, and you were fast on your heels to catch up to him.

“Angel!” He sat down on one of the picnic tables a little further away from the building. “Angel,” you walked over, standing in front of him. He didn’t meet your gaze; his eyes focused on a bottle cap on the ground.

“What is going on, Angel? What was that inside?” You crossed your arms, waiting for an answer. “The shit I didn’t want to happen!” His voice was poisonous as he spoke. “You and EZ. The perfect match, the perfect couple. The golden girl and golden boy together as they were meant to fucking be! King and Queen of the fucking company.” “What the fuck are you talking about?” “You will leave me. You will realize that EZ is better for you and your life instead of the fuck up and worthless piece of shit that is me, and… fuck, you will leave because why would you be with someone like me…”

You let him have his little rant; he needed to let it out one way or another, and taking this to the ring wasn’t an option. As much as it hurts you to hear all these things, you let him vent, and after this, you would love, comfort, and cherish him for the rest of your life together, as he deserves.

“... I’m dumb, worthless..” he continued to say untrue things about himself, and you knew you needed to stop him. You felt tears in your eyes the more he went on saying hurtful things about him. “Angel… ANGEL!” You grabbed his face with both of your hands to get him to look at you and shut him up in the process.

“Stop.. just stop... I love you, only you! How can you not see that?” “I-I just..” “No, Angel! Nothing just.” “Please listen to me when I say these things and know they are coming straight from my heart, baby.”

“I love that when I wake up in the morning, and your beautiful and breathtaking face is the first thing I see in the morning. It starts my day with a kick, and I know that the rest of the day will be good.”

“I love when I come home from work, and I walk into the kitchen, and there you are, almost burning the house down trying to be a gentleman and cook me dinner,” that made you both chuckle, and that alone made your heart jump a thousand times, “and we just end up ordering takeout but I still appreciate you for trying.”

“I love when I’m having a bad day, and you are there to cheer me up. Telling me jokes, being your goofy self, or buying me chocolate that we eat way too much of an almost vomit.”

“The sex. God the sex. Best I’ve ever had, I love it. You really know how to work those hips, babe, and make me weak in my core.” He had his grin on his face, and you knew that he would bring this up multiple times and give it to you good and hard just how you liked it.

“I love when we go to sleep, and you keep me safe and warm from the scary outside world, telling me weird and questionable stories about you and Coco. Just you and me in our own little comfort and safety bubble.”

“EZ means nothing to me besides being a friend and a brother I never had. Yes, he’s bright and smart and could elevate the game at the company if he wanted to, but Angel, I love you, just you.”

“If I were to tell you all that I love about you, we would spend a year on this bench. I love you, Angel Ignacio Reyes, only you, until the day I fucking die.”

At this point, you were both crying happy tears. You had told Angel everything, the truth, and nothing but the truth, and you could feel it in his aura that he understood this.

“Querida I,” you spoke before he had the chance to go further, “Angel, we have all the time in the world to express each other’s feelings more, but for now, please just hug me, you big idiot.”

He stood up and wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up to wrap your legs around him. You held each other for a good while, unspoken words expressed between you both as you cling to one another. He was grateful, you could feel it, and he loved you more than anything in the universe.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“Arsonist strikes again!” You read the article's title in the morning newspaper as you were sitting at the kitchen table eating the delicious breakfast Ez had prepared for the both of you. “Again?” Ez asked, bemused. “Yep, and this time he’s going after people with grey houses. Hmm… luckily mine is a more off-white color, so we have nothing to worry about.” “I’m surprised they haven’t caught the guy yet. Shouldn’t be so fucking hard to catch him when he’s doing it in broad daylight.” “No clue. But it seems like he’s only setting the house on fire while people aren’t in it. So he’s not after killing them; he just really likes setting shit up in flames.”

You talked about the topic for a few more minutes before you changed it to something more relevant. Your six-month anniversary, which was today, and Ez had made some secret plans for you two, which would last most of the day. “After we eat, go and get ready for our day.”

The date day had been a success. It has been one of the most fun days you’ve had in a long time with your boyfriend. You were walking home hand in hand as you processed it all. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you that quickly got interrupted by a fire truck speeding past you with its sirens on max volume. “Wonder where they are going in a rush.” Ez shrugged his shoulders at your question. You kept walking, not thinking much of it. In just a few minutes, you would be back home at your place to continue the evening, hopefully, tangled in the sheets naked. As you got closer to the house, another fire truck sped past you, and in the distance, you saw the one from earlier and the new one standing in front of your home.

“Oh shit,” you yelled out as you sprinted towards your home. “Y/N wait!” Ez was fast on your heels to catch up with you. Your house was on fire. So far, it wasn’t a big one, but it seemed to increase in size by the second. The firefighters were getting the equipment ready at the speed of lightning to put it out. “No,” you whispered in disbelief when you stood at the front and watched it burn. “Fuck,” Ez whispered as well when he saw the house up in flames.

“The box!” Panic in your body as you thought about the most valuable thing in the house that would be lost if you didn’t do anything. Not thinking straight, you sprinted as fast as you could into the house, ignoring the screaming firefighter telling you not to. “Ma’am! You can’t do that; get back here; it's not safe.” “Y/N no!” Ez felt his heartbeat in the thousands as he went in after you; flashes of white clouded his vision at the thought of something terrible happening to you.

Coughing at the smoke, you covered your nose and mouth with the neck of the shirt to breathe a little better. You felt hot from the burning walls as the fire rapidly engulfed the house. You heard Ez shout for you, and you felt bad that he ran. “Ez, I’m here!”

In the living room, in one of the cabinets, sat the box you were trying to save. Ez came to your site in just a few seconds. Panic, worry, and anger was read all over him. “Y/N, are you fucking crazy? Running into the house like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You coughed up a storm before you were able to respond. “I can’t let this box get lost, Ez. I just can’t.” As soon as you grabbed the box, he put his arm around you to lead you both out of the flames.

Just a few more steps to the door, and suddenly a piece of hot debris fell from the ceiling right on your arm, making you let out a loud “fuck” at the pain. “Shit!” He scooped you up in his arms to go before the ceiling collapsed.

The medical team on sight looked over you and him. Luckily there were only a few minor injuries, and you wouldn’t be required to go to the emergency room. “Why did you run in? Why did you risk your life for some stupid box?” He yelled at you while you and he were getting patched up. “It’s not just some stupid box, Ezekiel! It has value to me. Here,” opening the box to reveal photos and a few trinkets, “it’s pictures and stuff of my childhood, my life growing up, and us Ez. All the important things in my life are contained in this very box” You handed it over so that he could have a peek inside.

He felt terrible for screaming at you when he realized that it wasn’t just a silly box. It held all of your life in it, and maybe that was worth saving, but still, it was reckless of you to pull what you did. “I- I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry, Ez. Yes, it was very stupid of me, but I just needed to save it…”

Your eyes moved to the burnt-down house that had been put out. A slight mood of sadness came over you. It wasn’t anything significant. You had only lived in it for a year or so, so it didn’t have that much of a value to you. The clothes, the furniture, and everything inside it were replaceable, but your box of memories wasn’t, and that was the only thing that mattered to you. You thought that your house would be safe, but the arsonist had other plans. “You can stay with me if you want. As long as you need.” “Thanks, babe. I appreciate that.”

Living with Ez in the trailer had been a delight, to begin with. He wasn’t used to living with someone in such a tight space, but he didn’t mind it when it was with you. You got to see each other more often than when you lived in the house.

You had sex everywhere. On every surface, on every wall in the small trailer. It had been the most, and the best both of you had in a long time. He made you feel so good, making you scream out in ecstasy each and every time.

Most nights, you would have nightmares. Waking up in the middle of the night, panting and sweating, of memories from the fire. Ez would be up in a heartbeat to calm you down. Opening every window and door to let some air in to cool you down. He would hold you tight to him. Reassuring you that he was here and that he would never let anything happen to you.

After a while of living together in the tiny room, fights would recur regularly over small and petty things. It would be fighting over the silliest things, but because of you two living so on top of each other, it was heightened by the irritation of not having your own space. Fights could be about anything from an item being put in the wrong place to some more significant battles, like the one you were having now for the past few days.

Ez had been complaining about the amount of stuff you had bought, from clothes to even some furniture that was filling up the tiny trailer.

He understood that you were trying to get back the things you lost and fill up that hole in you, but he didn’t understand why you needed so much of it right now when you hadn’t even found a new place to stay in. You got mad at him. Angry because it felt like he was kicking you out or at least hinting to it that he didn’t want you here anymore, and you weren’t ready to move out yet. You hadn’t found anything new you could live at. He explained to you that it wasn’t true. He just wanted some fucking space to walk around his trailer. But the damage was already done, and you two weren’t on speaking terms. At night you would sleep on the separate beds in the trailer. He would already be out and about before you woke up in the morning so that none of you had to deal with one another.

You had come back to the trailer after a grocery store run, not expecting him to be home. “H-hey,” he rose from his seat at the table. Helping you with the grocery bags. You were surprised that he was talking to you but grateful that he offered to help. “Hey, thanks.” You let him take them and organize the stuff where it belonged. You stood and watched him as he put the stuff away. None of you said anything for a little while until Ez opened his mouth to talk.

“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being a dick to you.” You let out a puff of air, eyes closed as you felt terrible about him apologizing. “No, Zeke, I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. This is your place, not mine, and I’ve just been invading your home with all my shit. I’ll find a new place soon, I promise.”

“Hey,” he came to your side, grabbing your hands in his much bigger ones. He was towering over you as he looked in your eyes with his soft and sad ones. “No, I’m sorry. For making you feel that I didn’t want you here and for making you think I want you out as soon as possible. I don’t; I love you, and I love living with you, but it’s just,” he gestured with his hands to the trailer space, “it’s a lot of shit.” You chuckled as you looked down at your feet for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I know. I’m sorry. I promise that I will find something soon, and then we can go back to our more normal selves.”

“Wait,” he led you both to the table and made you sit down, “here,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you something. “I found a few houses that I think you would like, and… what if we move in together… only if you want.” “Are you serious, Ezekiel?” He gave you one nod to let you know that this is what he wanted. “Yes… I would love that, to move in with you.”

And with that, you and he scrolled through the different house options. On each one, you made up stories of what your future would look like. All the memories you and him would make in your own home. How you would live until you're old and grey and surrounded with your many beautiful grandchildren. Dying happily in your shared bed and reminiscing on your life together. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Thank you for reading❤️ a quick reblog and feedback would be so appreciated❤️ Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist.

MAYANS MC TAGLIST: @blessedboo @60shannon @bellisperennis0 @capnsaveahoe @diaryofkali @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @xvvalx @missswritings @theocatkov @pinguinstudiert @chibsytelford @encounterthepast @rawrlittlepanda-95 @beeroses @siriussnape07 @adaydreamaway08 @miss-nori85 @oldstuffnewstuff @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @jatriciaaa @browneyes912 @cole-winchester @blackksunflower12 @phoenixhalliwell @cant-decide-at-this-moment @love-mesome-me @holl2712 @jennisdirtyimagines @balladbloodwrites @lilacyennefer @smallflower16 @marvelmaree @brwnlikefoxy @kaylaygrace @stupiddsapphicc @violet624 @boomclapxox @mijop @macgruberrr @queen-under-the-shire @missihart23 @vixemi @heeeeeres-saint

EZ REYES TAGLIST: @honestlyyaya @noz4a2

There was always an elephant in the room and it was colossal, yet there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was dance around the fact that I was deeply in love with a man that did not feel the same. 

I often watched him, mainly from the corner of my eye, always longing to be his; owned by him, body and soul. 

He stood before me now, distress clearly evident on his face. Both hands clasped on either side of the door frame, eyes signalling that he wanted to come in. To relieve himself of whatever it was that was eating him up inside. 

Angel always came to me like this. I was the one he could come to for relief – release. Perhaps I allowed this to go on for too long. Letting him arrive with all those insecurities, those fears, and let him dump them at my doorstep. But I knew, as well as he did that, I would never stop him. 

My heart was close to bursting at the seams with the amount of love I carried for this man. I want to continue to take this, and accept it as enough. I was desperate to. Yet I don’t think I could last realistically, for much longer. 

“Angel.” I answered the door, voice breathless. My confidence waned, resolve breaking as I glimpsed his crumpled face looking at the ground, eyes refusing to meet mine. 

Angel was selfish. He knew this, and he hated that about himself. Hated that he found himself at my doorstep every night, seeking solace the only way he knew how. 

“Can I come inside?”

All it took was a brief nod and he was in, a faint smell of gasoline, mixed with a faint musk that I knew was my favourite aftershave of his. After shutting the door, I turned to face him, finding his gaze still avoiding mine. 

“Do you want something to drink? Eat?” I offered, already knowing the answer. 

“No. Thanks. I just came here to… to talk.”

Talk? That was a surprise. It seemed these past couple months, to me, Angel didn’t know what that was. I couldn’t help but let out a bitter chuckle. Talk! Angel Reyes wanted to talk.

“Okay,” I sighed, arms crossing my chest, “go ahead.”

His gaze finally met mine, widening slightly as they took in my appearance. I was partially clothed. My panties were on, covered by a large oversized hoodie – his hoodie, that ended just above my knees. 

“I-I’m not good with this shit but I-I just wanted you to know that I see it.” An unfamiliar feeling coursed through my body. I couldn’t tell where this was going. See it? See what?  

“I see what I do to you. What this,” he gestured between the two of us, “does to you.”

“I come over, every night without fail and you let me inside, to your home – your body. But I can’t do this. I can’t hurt you like this anymore. I see it querida, I see your face when I leave. I want you, so fucking much – always but not like this.”

Confusion, shock, and frustration were some of the feelings that bubbled inside. I couldn’t understand where this was coming from. I agreed with everything he said, but I couldn’t quite help but let the anger rise. I was Angry that he was the one making this decision. That he thought he was doing it for me, when it was obvious that what I felt - how I felt, was not what this was about. 

“Angel, where is this coming from?” I couldn’t help but keep the exasperated tone out of my voice. This man was infuriating.

“Me. I have eyes; I can see you. You’re fucking miserable and it’s all because of me.”

Shaking my head, I had to bite back a laugh. What a sick and twisted joke this was. Here the love of my life stands before me, ripping me in two. When not too long ago I was considering doing the same thing. Ending us, albeit begrudgingly.

All the while he is thinking that he’s helping. Giving me whatever it is he thinks I desire. At least, that’s what he’s deluded himself into thinking. 

“Angel,” I started, frustration close to boiling point, “maybe instead of assuming, maybe having a conversation would have been productive. Work out what I am feeling. Actually asking me! Instead, you just decided you knew.” I threw my head back groaning, gripping the roots of my hair. I was seething with the audacity of this man. The man I am so desperately in love with. 

“Angel,” I started again, voice cracking as I tried my hardest not to cry. I could not cry, “I am so fucking in love with you it hurts. That’s what you see when you leave every night. You see shame. Shame of what I feel because I know you don’t feel the same. I want you just as badly, but our wants are two different things. You want my body. I want your body and soul.”

I couldn’t say any more. I had to stop. It pained me too much to continue. But I had to. I had to let it pour out.

“I just wish that maybe we could have had some kind of conversation. But you always jump onto something, whether it be a thing or a thought and you don’t think to consider anything else. If you thought you were hurting me, why did you continue? Why did you keep coming by if you knew what this was doing to me? Why not speak to me earlier?

He was so self-destructive, and I tried to lessen the hurt but I had had enough. He needed to know what his actions, and words does to people and that there are consequences.

I could tell I had shattered him; I could see it with his shaky intake of breath. The words stung. His hands were in his front jean pockets, his face impassive as he stared at me. Though he wasn’t really looking at me; his mind was at work here. I tried to reach out to him, take his hand in mine. I wanted to plead to him, and beg him to stay and to tell him I loved him. That he should forget what he said – what I said. But as soon as I reached out, he took a step to the side, knocking into the coffee table. 

“Uh you know what,” he responded, all emotion devoid from his voice, “this was obviously a mistake. I have to go.”

“Angel wait, come on, we have to talk about this.” You can’t just say this shit and leave, I wanted to scream. 

“Angel, please.”

But he ignored my pleas.

_________________________________

She sat there for a time, kneeling beside the couch, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he took in unsteady breaths. Angel had begged her to go to bed and get some rest but she couldn’t bring herself to leave EZ’s side. 

Angel tried everything he could think of to convince her to go to sleep but knew nothing he would say could change her mind.

It was moments like this where Angel hoped he would find something like this one day. The unwavering love and commitment Amalia had for his brother was unshakeable and made him slightly jealous, though he would never say that out loud. 

Later on in the night Coco and Gilly had come back to drop off the pain relief and antibiotics. They didn’t stay too long, they could tell just by looking at her she wasn’t in the mood to entertain anyone, nor should she be. They left with goodbyes and good luck, though they kept the latter for Angel’s ears only. Amalia was grateful they had gotten back so quick with the supplies and she desperately wanted to wake EZ and give him the medicine as soon as possible but she knew he needed to rest, and decided it could wait until he wakes. 

The minutes ticked down as did the hours as she sat there, eyes trained on the rise and fall of her lover’s chest. For a time, she sat there caressing his face, allowing silent tears to stream down her own.  His forehead was covered with sweat, his temperature rising. She wiped at the beads of sweat with a wet rag, allowing the cold cloth to mildly ease his fever down. 

When dawn was nearing, Amalia found herself drifting in and out of consciousness, head resting on her arm that lay on the edge of the couch, her fingers intertwined with EZ’s. Her mind continued to torture her with fleeting visions of EZ dying on their sofa, blood pouring from his wounds, voice screaming in pain, echoing all around her. There were moments where she would wake with a start, eyes wide, squeezing his hand, running hers up and down his arm just to feel his warmth. To see he was still there with her. 

She continued these bouts of suffering as her body fought for her to sleep and it was only after the third nightmarish vision, she had of losing EZ that her mind rewarded her with a faint memory instead of a twisted dream. It was of a time when their relationship was new and fresh. Yearning, and anticipation reaching the cusp, they had finally given in to their desires. It was the beginning of everything, and that’s where her memory took her.  

Amalia’s body was wrapped in his arms, legs tangled together she couldn’t tell where she began and EZ ended. Her breathing was laboured, hands running up and down tracing the ridges of his chest. It was the night they had first slept together, though this moment was long after they enjoyed each other.

EZ had fallen asleep with his arm around her waist. Sleep didn’t come easy to Amalia that night. She was too buzzed with what they had done. She’d had sex before, and like EZ, she would have drifted off by now but that night everything felt different and it was as she continued laying there listening to his intake of breath, as his dreams consumed him, she soon realised why. 

“How do you feel,” she heard him murmur against her skin. 

“Amazing,” she whispered, a coy smile on her face, “but I thought you were asleep?”

Craning her neck, she turned to look up at EZ and found him just as she thought, fast asleep. It took everything in her to not burst out laughing. She felt ridiculous beyond belief. EZ was talking in his sleep. 

“I love you,” she froze, hand stilling on EZ’s cheek as she heard him speak those words they had never shared before.

“Te quiero, Amalia.” 

The memories were so intense, and powerful Amalia ended up crying herself awake. Though this time when she woke, she found EZ’s head turned towards her, eyes opened wide watching her. 

“You’re awake,” she said, voice cracking. 

“Barely.” he whispered back, wincing as he tried to move his body to face her more clearly. 

“Baby,” she whined, standing up and gently placing both her hands on his shoulders to keep him from moving, “you need to stay put.”

Her face hovered above his as she stood like that, trying to make her point as gently as possible. His eyes stared into hers not before taking in the look on her face, which happened to be wrought with anguish and exhaustion, cheeks tear stained with lips cracked and bleeding. He could only imagine what she had gone through within the past twenty-four hours. 

She didn’t say anything for a moment and neither did he. They just stared at one another. Observing the contours of one another’s faces, making sure to mark this moment in their memory. Though EZ had no problem with that, he never forgets. 

“How long have you been sitting there?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“All night,” she said as she pulled away to sit on the coffee table behind her, “I had to make sure you didn’t die. I wasn’t alone though.” She pointed to where Angel’s sleeping form laid on the recliner positioned to EZ’s right.  

“He refused to leave and kept nagging me to go to bed.”

“You should’ve listened to him.”

“And you wouldn’t have done the same thing? EZ we both know if the roles were reversed – if it were me on this couch right now, you wouldn’t have left my side either. Hell, you would’ve driven me to the hospital.” 

They were at a stalemate both knowing she was right. Both knowing nothing more could be said to contradict her statement. He was madly in love with this woman and wouldn’t live in a world where she didn’t. He would have also stayed.

“If I had lost you EZ, I-I I don’t think I could live with myself.”

She looked at him then and allowed all her despair and anger to seep its way out of her. To expose him to it. His body stilled and he tried to turn away not wanting to see what he put her through. But he looked and watched as she could finally breath in relief. It struck him suddenly – piercingly, as to how much he had put her through, and because of that he could have sworn he heart his heart begin to break. 

“I know,” he whispered, though he knew he would never truly know until he was in the same position. 

There wasn’t much that could be said for what happened. EZ knew he could apologise; profusely, however, it would do no good. What he brought to Amalia – what he put her through was something he knew would kill him had it been her bleeding, damaged body brought to his door step. If it were him who had to sew up her wounds. 

Throughout the day little to no words were shared between them. Though that didn’t mean anything sinister to their relationship. EZ knew once he was better, he could make it up to her and Amalia knew that nothing EZ did to hurt her was intentional. He didn’t ask to be shot. She knew what she was getting herself into when they started dating, hell, even before that. She knew who EZ was and she loved him anyway. 

__________________________

Four weeks later

“No fondling the help!” Amalia said, doing her best to swipe EZ’s wandering hands away which were trying to make their way up her skirt.  

He lay on their bed, wound still covered and healing. He was a lot stronger than that night. Since then, he had been out and about, though his nurse was strict and limited him when it came to wandering around. She was too afraid he would rip open his stitches.  

“It’s not my fault you’re so… sexy.”

Through his healing process Amalia found EZ’s sex drive, which had thus far been neglected, had grown, and at first, she was scared. Too afraid of hurting him, or injuring him further. Though as he began to heal, albeit, slowly, she allowed their nefarious activities to return – though they were limited. She could tell he wanted more than what she gave but she couldn’t quite get past that fear. 

The first time they had sex after the incident involved Amalia on top, hands on either shoulder, straddling EZ’s waist. His wound was still on her mind at all times, as was the fear. EZ couldn’t have cared less. He wanted inside and was willing to have his stitches tear if it meant getting what he wanted. 

She felt like a nervous teenager again who was about to lose her virginity, unsure of what to do with her hands. She was too afraid to put too much pressure on different parts of his body. Too afraid to hurt him. 

“You won’t kill me by touching me,” he said, hands gripping her waist as he ground the most sensitive part of her body onto his, “but not touching me, will.”

A small gasp left her mouth as he repeated the action again. It had been so long since they had touched each other like this, though she was still clothed. She wanted to give in and remove the fear from herself. She was close to doing so, especially when his fingers found her clit. He had moved her panties to the side and began rubbing the little nub slowly. 

EZ loved hearing the sounds that escaped as he teased her. He lay there looking up watching her as he continued to pleasure her, and allowed himself to ease a finger inside. 

“Fuck! EZ!”

He grinned, proud to hear his name on her lips and added another. He could feel the tension within her begin to build slowly as he picked up the pace, and knew she was close, but he was selfish. He wanted to be inside her when she came. 

Removing his fingers, he tried as best he could, withholding a wince, to push his cock inside her. By this point, Amalia had stilled already missing where his fingers had been, not expecting the intrusive entrance of his cock. 

“Ride me,” he rasped, “ride me hard.” 

She did as he begged, disregarding her previous fears.

She fucked him hard and fast, the sound of their skin slapping together echoing throughout the room. His pleasure was ecstasy and that made him numb to the pain. It made him lean forward gripping the back of her neck, pulling her head back so he could lavish her throat with his lips. With one hand on her waist, he allowed the other to find her breasts. He began to tease her nipples one at a time tweaking the little buds enjoying the sounds escaping her as he did so. Soon his mouth ventured down to her chest and gave it the same attention he did her throat. He left small purple bruises on her skin. Some that would have been easy to hide, others more difficult. 

The pressure was beginning to build inside them both, becoming more intense. It caused them to go harder and faster than they did before which Amalia did not think was physically possible. This meant that they had no rhythm. Not that they minded.  They just continued to thrust their bodies towards one another seeking the friction and pleasure they needed to get to the end. EZ’s fingers we back on her clit rubbing furiously, willing Amalia closer and closer to her orgasm. He wanted her to cum first, clenching herself on his cock as he had experienced in the past. He had missed this. Her. 

“Fuck EZ!” She was close, so close. 

“Come on baby,” he panted in her ear, urging her on. 

“I’ve got you,” he cooed, “just let go.”

And she did. 

She screamed his name, voice cracking as he continued to fuck her.

Her clit abandoned, he gripped her hips, fingers digging into her skin as he finally brought himself to climax. 

A loud moan escaped him, her name a whisper on his lips that he chose to repeat over and over again as his climax washed over him. His thrusts began to slow as they began to cool down. He brought his face closer to hers, forehead to forehead. Lips brushing each other’s.

“You’re bleeding.” She whispered. 

He looked down briefly and caught sight of his white bandage that now showed splotches of blood.

“It was worth it.” He grinned.

All the guys were sitting in Templo and scratching their heads at trying to get you back safe and sound from the people that kidnapped you. They all loved you like their own, and they swore they would hunt down and kill anyone that dared to hurt you. Ez suddenly burst in with new information about your whereabouts. “I know where Y/N is.”

Angel was the first one to rise from the chair, a glint of hope in his eyes at the thought that he would see you again very soon, warm and safe in his arms where you belonged. “Let's fucking go then.”

When they arrived at the destination, there was no one to be found, no trace of the people that captured you. “Search around,” Bishop ordered, “let's find our girl.”

The guys split off to search for you. Angel and Ez went to the lower floors of the big warehouse to search.

Angel opened the last door at the end of the big corridor, and there you were.

Angel was the happiest he had ever been in his life when he spotted you. He felt his heart almost jump out in joy, and his mind raced with thoughts of marrying you, having kids together, and growing old and grey, but that quickly faded to his worst nightmare; his heart was painfully ripped out of his chest.

There you were, cold and lifeless on the floor, a puddle of blood surrounding your body.

“No, no, no, Y/N!”

He rushed to your side and kneeled, his fingertips touching your cold skin. “I was too late.”

Cradling your head in his lap as he ran his fingertips from your forehead, where he loved to leave delicate kisses, down your eyes which he could get lost in for all eternity, your cheeks which he would softly caress on the daily and finally your lips. The most precious thing to him. They would no longer give him the softest of kisses, pleasure, the laughs, and joy only you could bring.

“Baby, please wake up... please... I beg you, wake up. I need you... I can't do this without you... please don't leave me.”

_________________________________________________________

Hand gripping the throttle, Angel continued to accelerate the bike, faster and faster until everything around him began to blur. He didn’t know where he was going. Normally when he got like this, all worked up, there would be only one place he’d find himself.

His head was swamped with malicious, confusing and tempting thoughts. The thought that scared him the most was the one telling him that he felt that same. The ones that brought up her confession and replayed it over and over again. 

Love wasn’t a remedy Angel knew well. It was something he always tried to separate himself from. Something he didn’t allow himself self to experience or deserve. But she elicited these intense feelings from him that felt so strange – foreign. 

It was too much; too intense. 

Pulling off to the side of the road the dirt swirled around him in a haze, only after turning the engine off and sitting there for a few moments did the dust begin to settle.

In a fit of blind rage Angel unclipped his helmet and threw it across from him. A loud crack then begun reverberating around the empty space. His face was flushed red. He was pissed. Storming off the bike, he headed towards the cracked helmet but instead of picking it up he kicked it forward, again, and again. 

______________________________________________

Meanwhile… 

I stood there in my front doorway dumbfounded. My gaze lingered on the distance where only minutes ago I could see Angel, who left me standing here rattled, confused, and with questions unanswered. I was completely and utterly heartbroken but what did I expect? A shower of love? The same declaration?

I knew what I signed up for when I allowed our friendship to turn into something more. I allowed myself to be deluded with the idea that I could turn it around and make our relationship into something more meaningful. 

How did we lose our way? 

Angel was always there. We had always sought each other’s company for brief moments of solace which had never included sex, until now.  

How did we get here?

I didn’t want to cry. I couldn’t allow myself to. 

I was filled with so much anger and rage that it almost masked the sadness. The flames had been fanned and now it was too late to put out. I burned with loathing. For myself, and for him. I wanted to scream, at him and at the world. The worst part of it all was the fact that I still wanted him. That small, beaten up piece of me still loved him.

Backing myself inside the house, I grabbed the handle of the door and slammed it shut, I then opened it and slammed it shut again. I continued to repeat this process for what felt like hours but was no more than a minute, pushing my arm harder and faster. 

I let out a scream that was filled with all my rage and frustration. I allowed my body to sink to the floor, hands concealing my face as I finally allowed the tears to come. I suddenly turned into a waterfall, with the tears beginning to cascade down. I was a mess. 

Who had I become to allow a man such as Angel, to make me feel this way?

Sighing, I wiped away my tears and leaned myself against the door. I couldn’t move. It was ridiculous. I felt ridiculous. 

“Who am I becoming?” I asked out loud. 

Minutes seemed to tick by as I sat there, knees brought up to my chest, hoddie clinging to my skin as I let my thoughts wash over me. They wouldn’t stop. I tried to think of how this could have been handled better. Could I have gotten a better outcome?

A roar of a bike drew me out of my thoughts. I stood up quickly, tripping over my own feet as I rushed to the front window to peak through the blinds. Surely it wouldn’t be Angel? The man ran with his tail between his legs at my confession. I couldn’t believe he would come back to face me – to face what I said. 

But it was. It was him. 

I watched him as he turned off the engine of his bike and sat there. Whilst he did, I took the time to take in his appearance. He looked similar to when he left, though perhaps it was the expression on his face that made me doubt that. He looked unsure. I focused more closely taking in his finer details. It was then I noticed the crack, which jutted across the plastic of his helmet that was there to protect his eyes. I tried to stop the fear that spiked through me as I began to think of what could’ve happened. 

Walking back towards the door I opened it again taking a step outside. He looked up at me, the sound of the door groaning behind, notifying him of my presence. 

“What are you doing back here Angel?” I asked as I walked towards where he still sat on the stationary bike. 

“Your lack of response made it fairly obvious as to how you feel.”

I allowed my arms to cross over my chest. The heat of the afternoon sweltering around me, and with no wind to be felt, sweat began beading on my forehead.

Now that I was outside, I could take in his full appearance and by all accounts he looked okay, aside from his helmet. He was unharmed. 

“If you are just going to sit on your bike, in my drive-way ignoring me, I am going to go back inside. So, either talk or you can leave, again.”

He looked over to me then, eyes searching mine. He looked deflated and defeated, insecurity oozing from him. He took his helmet off, placing it carefully on the handlebars. He got up and leaned his body against the bike, this time, taking me in. 

“You know that I know I don’t deal well with the emotions shit yeah?” His hands searched his jacket pocket for something, “I don’t know how to process it all. So… what happened before is how I-I react – deal with it.” Finding what he was looking for he placed the cigarette in his mouth, and lit up. 

Dragging the cigarette away, puffing out a circle of smoke, he continued.

“Regardless of that. I know deep down I do fucking care. About you; us. All of it. I guess I took advantage of the fact that you let me come in, to push that shit away. I don’t like that I did it but I did and I can’t take it back.”

There were no words that could express what I was experiencing. Angel was confessing. To me, about his feelings.