#match el

Lex is sitting in his chair looking at reports, he starts looking at a Superman report.

Lex: *mumbling* I must have his children..

Mercy: oh what is that ringing in my ears?

Lex: Shu shu, I’m just looking at this new blood analysis I just got back from Cadmus.

Mercy: whatever you say~

Lex: I can hear the sarcasm in your voice!

Mercy slams the door.

Lex: *ogles the report* oh wow, his cells can convert light and oxygen into energy? He has a blood type and it’s the same as mine of all things? his skin is incredibly refractive not even gamma or delta radiation can pass through it, how? No conclusions? Ugh.

Lex puts down the report

Lex: if I can’t be him I’ll make him in my own image.

Lex then concocts an utterly insane scheme to get proper genetic material from superman, which involves mechanical robot women, luthor being horny, all the while piloting a robot woman falling and miserably. he ends up just stealing his genetic material on a random occasion unrelated to anything.

Lex: I have it, proper genetic material!!! I shall have a piece of him soon.

Later

Lex: why the fuck is this not working *looking at the bizarro clones* they are almost pure kryptonian!

scientist: uh their genetic code is malformed they need something to stabilise it.

Lex: fuck it use my DNA, they'll be super smart that way.

Later again

Lex: well how did it go?

scientist: well we need a surrogate...

Lex: I'll just do it.

several months of lex being pregnant later and a cesarian

Lex: oh look.. wow. why is there 2 of them

scientist: uh I guess twins?

luthor: *holding baby match and Connor* fuck it, uh I'll name one KR and the other one KR 2 they match, well mostly? they look weird.

scientist: well it seems one has pigment loss while the other seems to have none of those problems. we will take the little one for more tests.

Lex: *holds baby Connor* Mercy! go get the camera I want a picture for my wallet like all those snobby parents!

a few months later

Lex: hey little guys, ugh your so weird.

Connor and match are play with blocks like normal babies.

Connor: *babbles* da.. mmm da. bblock!

Lex: *picks up Connor* that's right KR that's a block, your foolish brother can't even talk yet look at you! *bounces Connor on his lap*

Match stacks blocks

Lex: *sigh* why did I do this. this is slightly deranged. even for me.

Mercy peers through the door

Mercy: everything is deranged with you, I wouldn't worry.

lex: *lifts match into the air* well they are cute, super cute.