#masqueradenyc

During the Final Lair scene, Erik steps up to the platform in the center of the room, and we the audience are beckoned to close in a circle around him and remove our masks. He then looks at each of us in the eyes before the blackout. Both times I've seen this show, I was struck by seeing a few people in my pulse reduced to tears at this moment and I felt envious of them. I've seen Phantom on Broadway...a number of times. I've lost count. But I have been going since I was about 13 years old, so between the year 2000 and 2023, that's a decent number of years to justify 60+ trips to the Majestic Theatre (and once in London.) The end of the show has always made me cry. But this time I didn't. And that has nothing to do with the performances because they are *chef's kiss*. Instead of having the usual emotional reaction to the story, I just feel dazed. 

Even when I was lucky enough to sit in the front row on Broadway, I never felt close enough. I wanted to be a part of the story and follow the action up close. And now that I had the chance, I felt numb. I've accepted that everyone will have a different experience with Masquerade. For me personally? I'm just too much of a type A personality with the same amount of chill as a prey animal at the best of times. As much as I enjoy being in this story, it is also a jarring experience if you are constantly worried about standing in the correct place, following instructions, not getting in the way of the cast, not blocking anyone else's view, not stepping on anyone else's feet, not bumping into people, or worrying about arriving late to the next scene while the current scene is still going on. I'm in such a self-aware headspace that I simply will not be able to surrender to the emotional journey of this show and I think that's just how it is when the nature of Masquerade meets my particular flavor of neurosis. But, your mileage may vary.

Here's the breakdown of how everything went:

After introductions, champagne, the violinist (who turns out to be Papa Daae) playing a beautiful Phantom medley, and Madame Giry giving us our instructions, the wall behind us opened and Masquerade just erupted right in front of us.

We were beckoned to enter the scene and I scurried right to the back to try and get out of the way as soon as possible. Carlotta didn't let me hide and made me dance the first time, this time I was a successful wallflower. (And I was overjoyed to see that someone in our group had an adorable service dog with them.)

Hearing Hugh Panaro's voice boom out to halt the festivities of the number was so surreal. I was crushed when I heard Phantom was closing on Broadway and Hugh Panaro was one of my all time favorite Phantoms. I thought those days were done but then here I am just 2 years later actually IN the Masquerade scene, held captive like the other characters in the scene as he entered the space.

After the Phantom left the scene, Madame Giry held up a smoking mirror which shattered to cue the overture. We shuffled into the next room as the enormous chandelier rose over the rehearsal space and Hannibal began. 

During my first show, I was pulled out of the crowd by Madame Giry to play the piano during the rehearsal scene. This time, I hung back to enjoy Carlotta making fun of the severed head prop for Hannibal. We are addressed as if we are all patrons invited to attend the rehearsal and welcome the new managers. So it is unclear if Christine's Think of Me is the real performance, or another rehearsal that we all applaud as invited patrons to the rehearsal space. Either way, it is beautiful to watch from that unique vantage point.

Erik appeared on the scaffolding/platform that was right next to where I was standing. I heard everyone hype up the rose trick and I missed it when I saw Masquerade the first time. This time, from where I stood literally right beneath him, I could see that he simply pretends to throw the rose to her while flicking it out of sight and she produces another rose at that instant to make it look like it just appears. (Was that always the trick?)

The mirror is brought out to the center of the space and as Christine approaches it, it begins to spin and suddenly, Erik is standing in front us on one side, Christine is on the other, and it slowly spins and he disappears. The exit opens up through the parted curtain and Erik leads Christine through it, and she beckons for us to follow. I got stuck at the end of the group the first time and did not see the Title Song performed, though I could hear it. I was sure not to get stuck in back this time.

Walking through the mist and hearing them sing as you approach the lair is a sublime moment for any Phantom fan. The ushers parked us on some pillar seats toward the front of the "stage" and we watched as the boat rolled in, followed by the audience members who were at the back of the room. It is at this point that I have to be shallow and point out- from now on I demand that my Phantoms have their natural hair, with points added for gray or graying hair. I don't care if it is blasphemous, I do not miss the slicked back wig and the glam make up on the "good" side. This version of the Phantom is my end all be all forever more and Hugh Panaro's look in this version is 10/10.

Music of the Night ends and there is no applause- probably because most of us are given a candle to hold during the whole scene. Erik lifts Christine in his arms and carries her into the darkness while you listen to the eerie echoes of the underground lake. As my half of the group sat in hushed awe and the other half were starting to file out, Madame Giry beckoned us to quietly gather around her. She explained the Punjab Lasso and asked if any of us knew what we must do before we ventured further, and the nerds in our group (myself included) automatically had our hands at the level of our eyes. We follow her through the different rooms of his lair for the infamous bed scene, the automaton dance, instructions for Il Muto, and finally- the first unmasking scene. I'll be honest, everything right before the unmasking scene seems like it's meant to fill the time so that all the pulses are synced the way they are supposed to be. But I am not complaining because the atmosphere while you are hanging out in Erik's lair? I could just chill here for a while, you guys go ahead.

For the unmasking, Erik just wears an ordinary dressing robe over his regular suit. The extravagant robe is gone, as is the cap. But I like this subdued look. Christine approaches him as he is at the organ, and he shows her the music. She pulls the mask away and he chases her through the space much like in the original, though with less room to work with.

While he's covering his face with his hands, you don't get a full view of his deformity yet. So this brings me to my biggest, probably only, criticism of the show: I wish his deformity was more severe. Especially when you are seeing him literally a couple inches from where you are standing here, and in the Final Lair scene, the impact of a more frightening deformity would have been so dramatic. To be blunt, Erik is not ugly in Masquerade. He's obviously scarred from birth, but nothing about his unmasking is shocking.

I do not remember how Christine leaves the scene after she gives Erik back his mask. Either she leaves on her own, or one of the automatons leads her away. I don't remember because my attention was immediately on his delivery of "if only you knew what they did to me" as young Erik with the burlap bag mask appeared right behind where I stood. He hands older Erik a version of this mask and then runs away to lead one half of the audience away. Our half of the group remained while Erik drew a curtain around us and showed a few of us the mask up close with a very sad, and almost accusatory look on his face. Whenever I had a moment like that with him, I would love to offer more of a reaction in the moment, but you know you're supposed to just stand there with as much sympathy as you can convey without actually doing anything- while wearing your own mask. (Honestly, if I opted for real champagne instead of the non-alcoholic version at the top of the show, I'd be tempted to tell him to knock it off because he still looks fine, mask or no mask.)

As we moved on to the circus scene, I got stuck in the middle of young Erik being ripped from his hiding place and forced into his cage and it was upsetting to watch. Unlike most of the other scenes, you aren't directed to stand in any one location for the circus. You can play some kind of game, watch the fire eater, or if you're like me, make a beeline to Erik's cage.

If you are wearing anything pretty, young Erik will be fascinated by it and tie a string around your wrist or your finger to show his appreciation. At my first show, he reached out for my chandelier bead necklace and tied a string around my wrist. I didn't want to be greedy and get another one this time. But I think our audience was uncomfortable with the idea of getting up close to him while he's in there. One young lady in our group volunteered to give him some popcorn but that was it.

As I was standing directly in front of him, he carefully brought out his monkey music box, and shoved it through the bars of his cage to show it to me. As I stepped forward and leaned down, I saw the little note folded up inside. He takes the note and puts the music box down, he unfolds it. I didn't get to read it last time, so I made sure I did now: "Erik, From now on, the carnival will be your home. You are a child of the devil. Among freaks and monsters, you will find your kind. Forget you ever had a mother." Lovely.

I put my hand over my heart to indicate that I saw it, so he reached out and slowly stuffed the note into my hand. At that point I backed away because I was hoping other people in our group would interact with him. He did not get as much attention as when I saw it the first time. I turned away to watch the fire eater and when I turned back, I saw him tying a string around the service dog's paw.

I noticed older Erik appear as he observed the whole scene looking murderously angry. When they pushed young Erik to the stage, he is tied to the wall as he is first commanded to play the organ for the crowd. But then they ask us if we want to see his face, and I am embarrassed for the people in group who say yes. I'm like...guys...the Phantom is standing right here, you're being RUDE. Joseph Bouquet is also there as one of the workers for the circus, and our Bouquet showed a lot of disdain for young Erik. As he fights back against being forced to pull his hands away from his face when the mask is torn off, he eventually bashes the monkey music box against the circus master's head and knocks him out- or kills him, honestly he had it coming and I don't care.

Madame Girly arrives on the stage as she unties Erik and tells him, and all of us, to run for the Opera House.

We gather around what seems like a run down rehearsal room maybe in just one of the upper cellars of the Opera House where Madame Giry sings a version of "Learn to be Lonely" as Erik gets cleaned up and dons his new mask. He goes to hug Madame Giry, but she responds with fear and clearly does not welcome the embrace, and leaves the scene abruptly. He looks at himself in the mirror and smashes his forehead against it. This breaks off the mask into the iconic half mask. Older Erik appears and sings a reprise of Music of the Night and embraces his younger self- and this, I think, is the real heart of Masquerade. This show is about Erik recalling everything that has happened as he at least tries to heal his inner child and I am here for it.

We hear voices pulling us back to the present timeline as they are getting ready for Il Muto, and Christine is indeed still cast as the page boy. Erik hides as Christine and Meg arrive in a callback to the original dressing room scene, before Madame Giry calls Meg away to places for the ballet. From there, we follow Erik up to the flies above the stage as Bouquet is sexually harassing Meg and trying to threaten her by telling her about the Phantom. Madame Giry reprimands him and pulls Meg away, as she delivers the "those who speak of what they know" line from the original. Bouquet brushes it off and reminds us that he knew Erik as a circus freak, and that he'll always be a circus freak. We watch as Erik chases him across the rafters (this is a lot of fun to watch, actually) to the point where he falls through the opening onto the stage below, caught up in the noose. I'm not entirely sure how he dies because the noose is not around his neck, but they pull his body back up and you see the rope has him more around his mid section. Christine sees this and screams, leading Raoul, and the rest of us, to "where we will be safe"

All I Ask of You takes place in what looks like an attic room that opens onto the roof, but we are not actually on the roof. They go out onto the roof, while we remain inside watching as Erik spies on them from where we're all sitting/standing. I felt awful because at first, I was in the back of the room behind a tall guy, so one of the ushers pulls me aside and tells me to stand on the middle step of the small staircase. After I got settled, Erik appeared on the platform right next to me, then had to squeeze between me and someone else on the staircase. Teenager me would have been thrilled, 39 near old ball of anxiety me was just trying to telepathically say "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" as I leaned back as far as I possibly could to get out of his way. After they depart, he sings the All I Ask of You Reprise, and disappears in a cloud of smoke on the roof.

Now I think Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again is normally performed on the roof, but our group was inside both times (due to rain in September, cold in November). But I prefer being inside the chapel rather than outside with all the noise and lights and city commotion. I'm not sure how much time is supposed to have passed between All I Ask of You and this scene, but it's established that they are engaged, and she and Raoul are visiting her father's grave together for his blessing. But she wishes to be alone, sings Wishing, and then the Phantom's shadow appears over her as he is standing on the landing above us to deliver the shortened version of Wandering Child, announce his new opera, and taunt Raoul. Raoul has the Don Juan score in his hands during the confrontation, and when he opens it, it is literally on fire. Christine tells Raoul she can't perform in the opera and runs off, leaving Raoul to deliver "the disaster will be yours!"

At that point, we're given our Don Juan tickets as we head through the hall as one of the stage hands is giving commentary on the way, saying "don't waste your time it's a 6 hour opera!" and I just go "I don't know, I think there's some bangers in this one." because by this point, I'm just fully in the upside down. We are split up into the dressing room scenes which are broken into 3. My group's room went in order of: Carlotta and Piangi, Managers, then Christine and Raoul. I was elated to be seated next to the service dog. Carlotta was ranting about Christine then fell into a fit of sobbing and collapsed onto my brother. She just threw her arms around him and started crying on him, sat fully in his lap as he laughed and tried to comfort her. The service dog actually sprang into action detecting her distress, and the owner goes "no no, she's okay. It's alright" Carlotta then sobs to my brother, "you love me don't you?" and he just grinned and said "I love you" and she kissed his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark he had on for the rest of the night. I love her.

Jeremy Stolle was the last Phantom I saw on Broadway before it closed. I had always hoped I would catch him as an understudy Phantom and never did, until my very last performance. So he holds a special place in my heart. So as Firmin, he comes in the room and sits on the piano bench directly in front of me. After reading his note, he looks right at me, gives me a "WTF is this?" face and gives me the note. I just responded with a shrug as I read it. Y'know, it's the little things isn't it? I really can't imagine this dressing room scene in any other sequence. The lights going out on Christine after Twisted Every Way just really added something to the tension.

We hurry along to Don Juan. Both times I've seen this show, it's Point of No Return that feels the most rushed and a little awkward. Both the managers and Raoul are easily able to capture Erik, but Christine gestures for them to back off, and then changes into the wedding gown as he sings to her. She then unmasks him. But my God, watching the Phantom stand beneath the chandelier as it is about to crash like he's just ready to accept his fate, and then running after him and Christine like you're a part of the mob is just thrilling.

You file into the Final Lair scene and you are directed where to stand by the ushers. I was placed right in front of the monkey music box, and after sitting next to it in the bedroom, and having young Erik show it to me from his cage, I feel like I had the monkey music box track for the evening which is so cool. Erik plays a few of the lines directly to the audience and again, a severe deformity would have made this so much more intense.

He kneels in the center platform with a very angry Christine standing over him when he delivers the "you try my patience" line, and it is the exact opposite of the original. I love that he is never really physically imposing on her at any point, as I recall. Others may disagree but I'm left with the impression that Christine is not physically entrapped by Erik at any point in this version of the show. But she is definitely emotionally trapped. She is the one who has physical dominance over him through most of the Final Lair.

After the kiss when he commands them to leave, he brushes past me and goes to the music box. On the line "hide your face so the word will never find you" he looks to me and holds up his hand in front of my face, and then does the same to two other people beside me. At the time I was too stunned to react but when I think of it, it is surreal. He then looks over us and peers off in the distance so that we will follow his gaze, and we see Christine slowly walking toward us as well. I step back a little to give her room and she steps up onto the platform as well, singing the All I Ask of You reprise directly to him.

He just smiles, touches her arm and notices that she feels cold, he puts the cloak around her as she sings and smiles at him, he then kisses her forehead before placing the hood over her and embraces her. But as they turn he realizes something. He holds the cloak and somehow, it is empty. He was imagining it the whole time. He sings his last line, once again stepping off the platform right beside me and crosses to the center platform where he is met by his younger self. Young Erik removes his mask. The ensemble appears and gestures for us to approach the center as well, and remove our masks. As we do, he looks at each of us one by one. 

If I experience that moment 100 more times, it won't be enough. I'm not a serious theater person. I have no business telling anyone what is good and what isn't. But I have been a Phantom fan since I was 7 years old, and this character has been with me ever since. Masquerade is the story of Erik, more so than the original production. But experiencing Masquerade, for all its adventure and magic and intimate interactions with my favorite character, does not punch me in the gut with the feels like the original one always has. I know this won't be everyone's experience because I saw plenty of tears- but I did not feel the emotional impact until I was leaving. I think that in my hyper aware state, I don't allow the feelings to hit me until my part is done. But as I've been sitting with these recollections for the past couple of days, I know that this experience is something I will cherish forever.