#masculinty

Kòktèl (cocktail in Haitian Creole) is an experimental photo series that beautifully explores of the diversity of Black masculinity.

“When you think of a cocktail it brings the idea of color, flavor and the experience of different elements blended together for a tasteful experience. I wanted to visually express that with colors and movement.”

In this conversation, Bishop and Kaiya, English 1102 students from Atlanta, Georgia studying computer engineering and sociology respectively, encourage each other to reflect on their journeys with feminism, putting a special emphasis on the influence of family. Pictured above is Steven Crowder a famous alt-right political YouTuber known for making feminists look bad in his “debates”, edited to portray a basic feminist argument.

Kaiya:  Do you remember when you first learned about feminism? 

Bishop: When I was younger I watched a lot of YouTube and for some reason, the algorithm recommended a lot of weird YouTubers, although at the time I thought they were funny and smart. YouTubers like Steven Crowder (pictured above) and Kevin Samuels portrayed feminism negatively and in those days, I was influenced by the charisma and seemingly logical arguments presented by these YouTubers. ⁤Their narrative against feminism was presented with "logic" and "conviction" regrettably, I bought into it. ⁤⁤The ideas they propagated painted feminism as an ideology that was unnecessary and even dangerous to. ⁤⁤At that point in my life, I hadn't really examined these perspectives, and I took them at face value, subscribing to a worldview that was, in retrospect, deeply flawed. 

Kaiya: How would you describe your relationship with your masculinity? 

Bishop: Growing up in a family that adheres to more "traditional" gender roles and ideologies. It was pretty tough for me to express myself without hearing things like "man up" or "real men don't *blank*" inflicting a rigid framework on how I should navigate the world as a male. Phrases like these squashed my ability to express vulnerability or deviate from stereotypical expectations. Overcoming these entrenched beliefs required introspection and courage. And as I grew older, I tried to tackle these ideas of masculinity my upbringing put on me, and I am now trying to work on expressing myself as I feel.

Kaiya: You mentioned you grew up in a family that emphasized more traditional gender messaging. If you want to one day have a family, how would you raise your kids with respect to gender?

Bishop: I would approach parenting with a commitment to dismantling traditional gender norms. I would focus on fostering an environment where values such as equality, inclusivity, and individual authenticity are promoted. I would encourage open discussions about gender, to make sure my children understand that their identities are unique and valid. Ultimately I just want my kids to understand their true selves while recognizing and respecting the diversity of others.

Continuing in the theme of family, how has feminism influenced or shaped your perspectives on family dynamics, roles, and expectations? Can you provide specific instances where your understanding of feminism intersected with your experiences within your family?

Kaiya: Yeah for sure. So I am the oldest daughter of 5 kids, coming from a fairly traditional catholic family that was pretty in line with gender roles. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) for my dad in particular, I came out loud, argumentative, and always quick to point out anything that sounds like it could be biased. This often came out when my little brother was allowed to do things like getting a phone, or going outside to play by himself at a younger age than I was. I never thought my parents were trying to be sexist, but I loved to argue it. 

Bishop: Can you share a specific instance where you felt empowered or challenged by feminist principles in your life?

Kaiya: Hmmm, yeah. For a long time I didn’t believe there was any point to feminism. I always thought gender discrimination was something white women made up to feel like victims. Then my (shitty) high school boyfriend was being, well, shitty, and I realized how sexist and disgusting so many of the males around me were, a lot like the YouTubers you mentioned. It was really discouraging but becoming a feminist made me accept that men suck. No I’m just kidding, what I mean is feminism helped me to realize the disgustingness of sexism did not mean there was anything wrong with me. 

Bishop: I want to talk some more about your relationship with feminism. How does mainstream media’s portrayal of feminism compare to your own understanding?

Kaiya: I would be lying if I said that mainstream media didn’t help me become a feminist. I had a lot of anger against men, and found myself well represented: I am a girlboss, I like to wear heels to be taller than men, I can be louder than men. I take engineering classes literally just to show GT men that a girl can be smarter than them. But I am also mature enough to know this alone is not feminism, and I don’t think I ever thought otherwise.