#marvelouslymadmm

Writing about tensions between Jewish and Rroma in-laws

I’ll be blunt: there are tensions? If there are, I am completely unaware of them. What I usually see is Jewish Tumblr and Twitter users reminding each other to remember that we stick together with Rroma people because of shared bullshit, and speaking out to educate random non-Rroma gentiles (and each other) not to use the g-slur. I would also find it totally reasonable that Jewish characters might be anti-Rroma by accident or uneducated about Rroma people even being a real thing because of not knowing any better, like if someone hadn’t educated them, or if they were anti-Rroma because people who aren’t Rroma can be anti-Rroma, not specifically because they’re Jewish.

Jewish people sometimes have religious tension over interfaith marriages because our parents get freaked that if we marry gentiles we’ll all die out. There’s a such thing as marrying someone of another faith but promising to bring the kids up Jewish. I know more than one person who came out and their parents were like “okay, fine, but still marry a Jew.” The other reason parents get freaked out is that deep down sometimes it’s very hard to believe that a gentile really does think we’re human and okay and not secretly plotting between ourselves to take over the world. Like, you know that General Order 66 thing in the third Star Wars prequel where suddenly all the stormtroopers just know what Palpatine means, and start killing all the Jedi? Some gentiles think we’re up to shit like that so the idea of marrying a gentile means worrying that deep down inside that’s what they or their family think of us. You know what, though? This is very similar to some of the toxic mythology about Rroma people out there. So if both sides believed the non-Rroma gentile slander about the other side, then maybe that’s where the tension comes from, too.

But can we talk about this “both sides hate the other” idea for a second? I don’t know your background, but if someone who’s not a member of two marginalized groups chooses to write a story that makes both of those groups look bad for giving each other trouble, that makes me a little uncomfortable. Think how awkward it would be for a straight cis guy to write about the tensions between lesbians and bisexual women. It would almost seem as if lesbians and bi women were each other’s biggest problems, rather than straight people and cis men specifically perpetrating the most discrimination and systemic oppression against all women who love women. 

Now, as I said, I don’t know your background–if you’re Jewish or Rroma yourself, find a writing buddy of the other group and together you can talk about ways to make your story really ring true–if that’s a realistic conflict in the first place, anyway.

By the way, there’s no reason you can’t have family tension that doesn’t have anything to do with people’s ethnic background. Personality differences can happen within marginalized communities just like anywhere else, and plenty of people don’t get along with their family’s in-laws or find them snobby or not good enough. Just make sure your fictional in-laws’ “objectionable traits” aren’t directly derived from lazy stereotypes.

(anyverse big!steve)

Bucky used to be able to dance for hours and hours– sometimes even straight through the night. His time with HYDRA changed him and being around too many bodies wears him down quickly. He guides Steve into Clark, jerking his head toward the dance floor.

Clark shows about several different emotions on his face: surprise, panic, inevitability. He grabs Steve’s hand and together they head back out. Bucky watches how they first look like two high schoolers who’re saving room for Jesus.

Eventually, Steve steps on Clark’s feet like he used to do when he was small with Bucky. Clark smiles and all the trepidation in his shoulders melts away. They sway to the music, just spinning slowly in their own little world. Bucky watches with the stupidest grin on his face. Clark’s been good for both him and Steve. At this point, he couldn’t imagine his life without the big guy around. 

They dance a couple rounds before Clark and Steve pull Bucky up. They cradle him between their bodies. Steve kisses his lips and Clark sucks at his neck. They dance out of rhythm to the music and their hands tangle together. No one interrupts them and if anyone cares, Bucky isn’t paying any attention to notice.

Sam spends a gratuitous amount of time seeing how red he can get Clark and Steve. He starts bringing red scarves, sweaters or apples around to be like “Oh look, you and Steve are about this color today.”

Steve just smiled. "Trust me."

"Seriously Bucky, I can never get over how much pomp they can inject into these damned things." Steve growled and shook the paper in his hands. 

Clark was actually worried that it was some big setup to get down and dirty. Like again, don’t get him wrong– sex is fun. He’s just always worried that his boys are gonna be in the mood when he really isn’t. He’s been pretty tired (yeah, Clark Kent is tired, what?!) as of late. Taking care of the farm, getting to the Daily Planet, being Superman. It weighs on him. And then when he’s home, he wants to do everything he can for Steve and Bucky. 

So he can’t stop giggling when he’s just getting nuzzled and hears soft little you’re the best, we love you’s. He’s so….light? The sun can’t even recharge him as well as his boys can. He leans into every touch, lets his cheek rest on Bucky’s chest. He’s got a leg casually tossed over Steve and Steve’s giving him a hand massage and it’s the best thing ever? This is the kind of physical intimacy Clark craves. 

That Monday, he’s whistling in the kitchen, cooking bacon and eggs and dancing.