#marswriting

She didn’t think she’d ever get used to converging out of her swarm. When the butterfly was trapped she’d tried every hour, her butterflies swirling around in desperation, but each time she’d land, exhausted and discouraged. When she woke up in Ruby’s bed the first thing she’d noticed was the pain. It felt like every cell in her body was dying. Every breath ached, but through her pain, she managed to whisper a few words to Ruby, who stood over her, water and a damp cloth in hand.

“Where’s Nova?”

Ruby only shrugged. “Probably at her house, maybe HQ? She’s been spending a lot more time there since Max got hurt. Adrian really wanted her help finding Nightmare, and I think she’s worried about Max.”

A twinge of jealousy surfaced in her heart. She knew that Adrian liked Nova. Everyone knew, including Nova. She had always been relatively indifferent, but the news that they were working together hurt more than she wanted it to. 

As much as she hated Nightmare, she couldn’t hate Nova, and she didn’t want to jeopardize her relationship with Adrian. Danna knew that Nova’s secret would destroy Adrian. Nightmare’s case was so closely intertwined with his family that there was no way things could end well between them. 

Danna was lost in her thoughts and didn’t notice that Ruby was watching her until Ruby cleared her throat. 

“Why?”

She contemplated her options. She knew that Ruby wouldn’t directly tell anyone if Danna asked her to keep it a secret, but she wasn’t the best actor, and Oscar and Adrian would definitely notice something was up. But Nova needed help, and Danna was a smooth liar. 

“If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone? And I mean anyone. Not your family, not Oscar, and definitely not Adrian.”

“I promise.” She held out her pinky, her expression dead serious. Danna rolled her eyes but linked her pinky with Ruby’s. 

“Nova is Nightmare.”

 Ruby gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth. 

“Everything okay in here?” Ruby’s mom poked her head into the room. 

Ruby’s eyes were still wide, but she dropped her hand and waved her mom away. “Everything’s fine.” 

“Anything I can get you, dear?” Ruby’s mom turned her gaze to Danna, her eyebrows scrunched in concern. 

Danna grabbed the glass on Ruby’s bedside table, taking a sip. “I’m fine. Thank you so much for your hospitality, I know it was a lot of trouble.”

“It was nothing. I’m glad you’re all right! We were all so worried.” 

“Bye mom!” She escorted her mom to the door and shut it firmly behind her, pressing her hand to her mouth once again. 

“I know. It’s crazy, but she’s not the bad guy. You should have seen her face. She’s scared, Ruby. I don’t think she wants to be one of them, or she’s too scared to leave. They’re manipulating her, and I want to help.” 

“But, Max- why would she-” 

“I don’t know, but Genissa was the one that reported it, and I don’t trust anything she says. I’m giving Nova the benefit of the doubt until she proves otherwise.”

Ruby laughed. “Are you sure you don’t want to help her just because she’s pretty?”

“Ruby!” Danna blushed. “That’s beside the point. She’s been misled.”

“I was joking. I agree we should help her. What’s the first move?

“I want to talk to her. Tell her what I know, that I want to help, and that I won’t tell anyone, as long as she tells me everything.” She moved to stand, but her knee buckled and she almost landed face-first on the floor. 

“First, you’re going to eat and drink and take a long nap. You need to rest, Danna. You’ve never stayed in swarm mode that long, and you don’t know what effect it’s had yet.” 

“I’m not taking a nap. This is time-sensitive. I need to talk to her now before she does something she’ll regret. Or worse, before she’s discovered.”

“...Fine. But I’m driving. You are not walking and definitely not transforming. And we’re picking up food on the way.”

“Curly fries?”

“You know it.”

Ruby dropped her off in front of Headquarters. Danna slipped through the doors, and up the stairs, heading up to the artifaacts department. She poked her head in, giving the room a once-over. Callum noticed her, and a smile consumed his face.

“Monarch! It’s been ages since I’ve seen you here. What can I do for you today?” 

“Hey, Callum. Is Nova here? I need to talk to her.” 

He shook his head.

“I think she’s-” He paused, squinting at her. “Oh. You know, don’t you?” 

Danna started. Callum never ceased to surprise her. She wasn’t surprised that he knew, but she was surprised that he’d never said anything. Callum was as loyal as they came in the Renegades. But he was loyal to his friends, too. 

“Yeah. I know. And I’m worried about her. I know she’s a villain, but I really don’t think she’s a bad person.”

“She’s not. I’ve known since the night she broke in, and honestly, she might know that I know.”

“They’re manipulating her, and she doesn’t even know it. I want to help her.”

Callum nodded. “I think she’s in her office. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Danna made her way the door. “Thanks.”

He waved. “Good luck!”

Taking the stairs to avoid any unwelcome company in the elevator, Danna made her way up to the third floor and through the maze of cubicles towards the large window Nova’s office space was nestled against. 

Nova was glued to her computer, typing and clicking away feverishly. Danna leaned against the entry, waiting for her to notice. When she didn’t, Danna cleared her throat. She jumped, spinning in her chair to face Danna. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, Danna! I didn’t know you were back. Are you okay?” Her voice was higher than usual, and she could barely meet Danna’s eyes. 

“Nova, I know.” 

She straightened, looking past Danna, possibly planning an escape. 

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“I know, Nova.”

“What are you doing, Danna?”

“I want to help you.” She held out her hand. Nova only stared at it. 

“You want to… help? Danna, what?” 

“Not like that. I want to help you. Please, just come with me.”

Nova took her hand and let Danna led her down the stairs and out the doors. They walked down the street towards the park where the Sidekick Olympics were held. 

“Danna…” 

“Just wait.” They walked along the path, until Nova gasped and dragged her along, until they entered a small glen with a large statue in the center. 

“Whoa,” Danna gasped. Nova ignored her, sitting on a mossy rock close to the entrance, pulling her knees to her chest. She stared at Danna, waiting for her to speak. 

Danna sat next to her, their legs just barely touching. Nova scooted away a little, turning an accusing glare onto her. 

“So. You know.”

“I know.” 

She tensed, her fists clenched in preparation for an attack. 

“I want to help you, Nova. They’re abusing you. You’re the victim. You need to get away from them.”

“They’re my family, Danna. They’re all I have left.”

“They’re using you, Nova. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. Just tell me what’s going on. Why are you with them?”

Nova watched her, her eyes roaming Danna’s face, perhaps searching for the sincerity that Danna hoped was apparent. Her eyes even skimmed over her lips, focusing there for only a second before snapping up to her eyes.

“The Renegades let my parents die. They promised us protection and they lied. I watched them die in front of me, their blood splattering against my face. I heard my baby sister’s cries silenced by a gunshot knowing that if I had been stronger or smarter or faster I could have saved her.” She paused, burying her face in her hands to hide the tears streaming down her face. Danna’s heart broke with every word Nova managed to choke out. 

“I’m so sorry, Nova.” 

Nova say up, wiping the tears from her eyes and glaring at Danna, scooting away from her. 

 “I hid in the closet waiting for the Renegades to come to save me, even though it was too late for my family. I put the hitman to sleep when he came after me. I waited for hours whispering that the Renegades will come, because they always come, don’t they? That’s their job. But they didn’t. And you know who did? My uncle. Ace Anarchy. He saved me, raised me. The Renegades aren’t perfect. They aren’t even good. They’re corrupt and society would be better without them.” She broke down again, not even attempting to pull away when Danna wrapped her arms around her. Danna held her for a while, letting her cry in her arms. Nova eventually pulled away, meeting Danna’s eyes. Nova’s brown eyes were sparkling from her tears, her face an inch away from Danna’s. Her heart fluttered. Nova wasn’t pulling away, and if anything, she was leaning closer. Danna’s heart was pounding in her chest, so loudly that she was sure Nova could hear it. She held Nova’s gaze, her lips parting slowly. Nova leaned forward, brushing her lips against Danna’s. She sighed, melting into the kiss. 

Nova pulled away, much sooner than Danna wished. 

“I- I’m sorry,” Nova whispered. “I know you don’t like me like that, and even if you did, I’m an anarchist and-”

Danna cupped her cheek and pressed her lips to Nova’s once again, pulling her close. Nova gasped, and the sound sent electricity coursing through her veins. 

Danna pulled away, her forhead resting against Nova’s. 

“I definitely do like you that way.”

Nova only nodded, her eyes focused on her lips. 

“And I don’t think you’re an anarchist. You may not be a renegade, but you’re not an anarchist.”

“What am I, if not one of them. I can’t be alone again. Never again,” she whispered. 

Luz spends her last week saying goodbye. She drags her friends to every corner of the Isles. She knows she’ll never know everything about this magical world, but she wants to remember as much as she can. Her phone fills up with pictures, and she finds herself deleting her pictures from before the summer just to make room.

The final goodbye is the worst. Eda surprises her by pulling her into the tightest hug she’s

ever felt, saying nothing as the minutes dragged on. King joins them, followed by Willow and Gus. Amity stands off to the side, watching them with hesitant eyes. Luz notices her hesitation, and gestures through her tears. Amity’s thin arms wrap around them, and they all wait for Luz to pull away, but she doesn’t.  She d0esn’t want to, but her time is up. She has to go home.

Home.

Luz finds herself contemplating that word more and more as her time in the Boiling Isles draws to its close. She may have never fit in her world, but it is her home. It's where her mom is, where she grew up. But, after careful consideration, she realises that the Boiling Isles is her home too. She can have two homes. The people she met here were her family, and she will never forget them.

Luz pulls away, and the crowd of teary-eyed individuals disperses. Eda’s mismatched eyes are shining with unshed tears, and her voice shakes as she holds a bag out to Luz.

“Here you go, kid. A couple of things to remember us by.”

“Eda…”

“Kid, if you say one more word-” Her voice breaks a little, and she turns away, covering her face.

Luz smiles, but her next sentence is interrupted by Amity.

“Hey, Luz. Can I talk to you? Alone?”

She nods, letting Amity lead her away from the group.

There’s something in Amity’s face that Luz has been seeing more and more often. She’s nervous, a dark blush spreading across her cheeks. A knot settles in Luz’s stomach. She knows what’s coming. She had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but it’s too late.

“Luz, I-”

“Amity….”

“I love you. I love you, Luz. I wasn’t sure before, but you’re leaving and I know now and I love you. I had to tell you, I have to-”

“Amity, I’m leaving. I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back. Portals are hard to find, and Eda’s was destroyed. We have different lives. You’ll become one of the most powerful witches on the Boiling Isles, and I’ll live my human life.”

“Luz, please.”

“I’m sorry, Amity. If things were different... but it’s not fair to either of us. You deserve to be happy, to love someone who is always there.”

“Luz, wait, please, I-”

But Luz is already gone, her shoulders slumped. She only turns back once, offering Amity a small smile and wave.

Amity can’t move. She knows that nothing could ever come of them, but to be brushed off like that, as if it didn’t matter, as if there was no chance at all- it hurts.

It hurts more than anything had ever hurt her before.

It hurts more than all the harsh words from her parents. It hurt more than the birthday where her friendship with Willow was shattered.

She can’t move. So she just stands there, watching as Luz says her tearful goodbyes and accepts her bag from Eda. The portal they had worked so hard to create opens, and Luz waves from the doorway.

“I love you.” Amity whispers. No one hears her. The others all break down, heading back to the Owl House to comfort each other. Amity is rooted in her spot, unable to move. She stares at the spot the portal occupied moments ago, before it swallowed Luz, and with her, all of her hopes and dreams.

Amity doesn’t cry until she’s safely in her room, the door latched and locked. She throws herself onto the bed, burying her head in the pillow as all her feelings flow out in salty tears. Was she so naive to think that Luz would love her back? That she would stay, if only for a little while? That they would have a chance, no matter how short or miniscule.

Her sobs grow quieter, and her eyelids droop. She ignores the quiet knocks on her door, and even when they grow louder she doesn’t answer. Amity lays on her side, feigning sleep as the door creaks open. Footsteps pad through the room, muffled by the rug. A blanket is pulled over her, and she tries to steady her breathing. Only as the footsteps retreat does she open her eyes, attempting to catch a glimpse of the person, but her vision is blurry with tears and she’s exhausted. Her eyes flicker shut again and she falls into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Luz finds herself in the same forest where the portal first appeared. The wind rustles through the leaves as she makes her way back home.

When Eda’s portal first was lost, Luz sent the video she recorded to her mom. Too scared for a response, she muted the thread. But when she was finally ready to check, her phone was dead, with no means to charge it. They had tried for weeks to make another portal, to find another portal, anything to allow Luz to talk to her mom. But their luck ran out, and Luz was left wondering.

Her mom doesn’t see her at first, her back is turned, watching the road where the distinct sound of a retreating bus can be heard.

“Mamá?”

Camila spins around. “Luz?”

She runs to her mom, throwing her arms around her.

“Te extrañe mucho, mamá.”

“Oh, Luz. I missed you too. So much. The video you sent me, what-?”

“I’ll tell you everything, te prometo. Can we go home first?” Her head is spinning, still unable to process everything that has happened today. Leaving. Amity. Home.

She takes her mother’s hand, leading her back home. She sets her bag down by the table and sits in her old spot, some of her old runes in her hand and her phone charging nearby.

“Are you hungry?” Luz nods. Human food is strange to her now, but she eats it with relish. Another  reminder that she’s home.

Once she’s done, her mom sits down in front of her, her hands clasped on the table in anticipation. Luz takes a deep breath, her photo gallery open, runes spread out in front of her, and tells her story.

“Pull the trigger, Little Nightmare,” Ace whispered behind her. “You can make the decision for yourself now. His parents made the decision for you all those years ago. It’s your turn, Nova. Pull the trigger.”

Adrian only stared at her, still shirtless, a hand pressed to his arm where Honey had cut away his tattoo. 

“Pull the trigger, Nova. Kill him. End this, and we will start anew.” 

Perhaps the worst thing was that Adrian didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t even look at her, instead staring blankly past her. She could tell that he was in pain. He sat so still that the only sign of movement was the shaky rise and fall of his chest. 

Pull the trigger.

Her mouth moved this time, whispering quietly to herself. 

A chill swept over the room, announcing the arrival of Phobia. He settled behind Ace, watching her from the shadows. 

Nova adjusted her grip on the gun, her hands sweaty and her arms shaking. This was her revenge. She had been waiting for this for 10 years, and yet, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t. 

She remembered the night where she’d lost everything. Evie’s silenced cries, the dull thud of her parents’ bodies hitting the floor. Her labored breathing as she stood over the sleeping hitman, waiting for the Renegades to come, whispering over and over to herself to pull the trigger and that the Renegades would come. 

The Renegades didn’t come, but Ace Anarchy did. He had saved her, and raised her and fueled her hatred for the Renegades, using her as his weapon to destroy. 

She’d been blind for so long. They’d never cared about her, Ace especially. They hardly cared for each other. When she’d killed Ingrid there was no mourning. In fact, they’d hardly mentioned it. 

She wasn’t an Anarchist, not anymore. They’d never truly been her family, and could never replace the family she’d lost. Of course, she would rather die than become a Renegade. 

She wouldn’t kill Adrian. She couldn’t kill Adrian. 

“No.” 

Adrian’s eyes snapped to hers, something incomprehensible on his face. 

“No?” Ace laughed. “You dare defy me? He is a Renegade. The very thing you despise more than anything.” He scoffed. “I always knew you were weak. Just like your parents. Unable to do what needs to be done. I should have had you killed too.”

“You did it. It was you.” Her voice quavered, barely over a whisper. She wanted to scream, to yell, to ask him why, how he could kill his own family, but the battle still raged around them, getting closer and closer. Her jaw clenched, heart pounding in her ears. 

In that moment everything was clear. Ace would stop at nothing for power, and she could stop at nothing to stop him. He was right, this was her one chance for revenge, but not against the Renegades. Against him. 

This ended now. She spun around, pointing the gun at Ace. 

Pull the trigger.

Her arms started to shake, finger twitching over the trigger. 

Ace sneered. “Even now, you can’t do it. Pathetic. Kill him.” He motioned at Adrian and Phobia moved in the shadows, his scythe glinting. 

Nova squeezed the trigger. 

She winced at the blast as it echoed around the chamber of the cathedral. Ace stared at her, eyes wide as he stumbled back. 

A loud crash sounded from below. Nova looked over the edge to see the Captain climbing up the wall. He was climbing impossibly fast, determined to save his son. 

A shadow loomed behind her. Phobia raised his scythe, ready to end Adrian in the same as Callum. 

Nova acted without thinking. As the blade fell she ran to him and pushed Adrian to the side. He gasped in pain, and a second later in horror. The scythe was embedded in her stomach. Ace laughed, hand pressed to his thigh. 

“I guess it was all for nothing. How’s it feel, Insomnia, to die for nothing? You sacrificed your life for him, but you’re outnumbered. He will die, and you will watch. If you even last that long. Maybe I’ll make him watch as you bleed out, helpless, and then kill him. Or maybe I’ll keep him around just long enough to make his parents watch.” 

Nova stumbled back against the wall, hand pressed to her stomach, praying that the Captain was close and could at least save Adrian. 

Something clattered behind her and the Captain launched himself at Ace. They disappeared from Nova’s view and Phobia floated after them, leaving Nova and Adrian alone. 

Adrian watched as Nova pressed a hand to her stomach, staring at the blood that stained her hands. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, still staring at her bloody hand. 

“Nova!”

Adrian rushed to her side, kneeling beside her and gathering her in his arms. One hand was pressed against her stomach in an attempt to stop the blood loss.

“You’re going to be okay, Nova. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“Adrian.”

He stood up with her in his arms, looking around desperately for anything to help, but everyone was fighting. 

“Adrian. There’s nothing you can do.”

He looked down at her, and Nova could see tears forming in his eyes, threatening to fall. “No. No,” His voice broke. “I have to do something, there has to be a way-”

She reached up, cupping his cheek with her hand, still smeared with blood. He sunk down, still cradling her in his arms. One of his hands covered hers, squeezing her hand slightly. His tears began to fall, splashing gently against her face. 

“Nova, I-”

“Please don’t say you love me,” Nova whispered. 

“What?” He choked out.

“That makes leaving so much harder.”

“You are not dying. You can’t. I love you, Nova. I have for so long.”

Adrian just shook his head, holding her closer and burying his face in her hair. 

“Adrian.” 

“I love you.” He whispered once again.

Her hand slipped from his cheek, smearing blood down his face as it fell to his chest, right over his heart. 

“Nova!” Her eyes were starting to glaze over and her breathing was ragged as her eyes struggled to focus on him. 

“Make sure we win, Adrian. Destroy him. Destroy my uncle. He can’t win.” Her words slurred together. Adrian cupped her face. Her skin was so cold and pale, it was as if she was a ghost. 

Her eyes started to unfocus, and he shook her gently, bringing her eyes back to his. 

“Hey, look at me. We’ll win, and you’ll be there to see it. Just hold on, Nova. Hold on. For me.” He took his hand off of her stomach, threading his blood-soaked fingers through hers instead. He kissed her hand, ignoring the metallic taste of blood. He held her hand against his cheek, closing his eyes and leaning into it, searching for any warmth that might remain. 

“Adrian?” 

He opened his eyes. The pain behind his eyes broke her heart. 

“I love you.”

Adrian smiled, ever so slightly. He leaned down, kissing her as gently as he could, only for a second. When he pulled away, she was smiling, her eyes closed. 

Adrian’s suit was covered in blood, his helmet discarded beside them. His attempts to stop the bleeding had been unsuccessful, and they were both soaked from the blood pooled around them. 

Nova’s breathing was forced, and her eyes unable to stay open. She gave his hand a weak squeeze before her hand loosened its grip and her hand fell open on the ground. 

“Nova.” Adrian shook her, gently at first, then harder. She didn’t wake. 

He fumbled for her pulse, desperately waiting for anything, just one beat. 

“Nova, please. Please don’t leave me, it’s almost over. We’re going to win, Nova. Everything will be fine, it’s almost over. You can’t leave before it’s over. Please.” He broke down, cradling her head against his chest.

An explosion rang through the air near them. Wiping his tears away, Adrian stood up with Nova’s body in his arms. He brought her to the sidelines, away from harm, and donned his helmet. 

Adrian only knew one thing.

Nova threw off the covers, letting them tumble to the floor as she stood up, stumbling through the dark to the bathroom. She ran her hands through her hair, glaring at her reflection and the dark circles under her eyes. She groaned, closing her eyes and leaning against the wall, slowly sliding down until she was huddled on the floor, her head on her knees.

Bang.

A tear slipped down her cheeks and Nova clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. She tried to think of anything else, anything to make the gunshots go away.

Bang.

She whimpered, more tears streaming down her cheeks as the images of her mother’s blood splattered on the walls flashed across her vision. The dull thump of her father’s body hitting the floor, Evie’s silenced cries, the long hours of desperate whispers and tears, waiting for someone to come. Anyone.

Bang.

The blood-splattered walls of her childhood apartment were replaced with the crumbling walls of the funhouse, dust and smoke filling her lungs. The smooth metal of the trigger under her finger, the recoil of the gun, Ingrid’s head snapping back, her body crumpling to the ground.

She was shaking, openly sobbing as every traumatic memory was brought to light again. Her training with the Anarchists, every scar and injury. Ingrid screaming at her every time she missed a shot. Phobia following her through the tunnels, plaguing her with her worst fears. The hours spent in solitude during the battle for Gatlon, only interrupted by Honey as they fled.

The scythe slicing through Callum’s abdomen, his blood splattering the seats. Winston throwing himself in front of her, intercepting the projectile meant for her. How many people had died for her? Because of her?

Max’s blood on her hands, his face growing paler by the minute as ice coated his skin. Holding Adrian as he cried, guilt twisting in her stomach as she stared into the dark eyes of the helmet.

The long hours in Cragmoor, staring at the walls of her tiny prison, knowing that she had failed, unable to sleep, trapped in her own mind. Adrian staring at her in betrayal, his hand clasped around her bracelet, her one connection to her family. Knowing deep in her heart as she kissed Adrian on the docks after her release that she was living the same lie all over again.

Adrian.

She needed him. Pulling herself up, she stumbled through her dark apartment to her phone. Her fingers shook as she dialed his number, her breaths coming out in sharp gasps, as she shakily raised the phone to her ear.

Adrian picked up almost immediately.

“Hey, Nova! I was just-” A wave of relief coursed through her at his voice.

“Can you come over? Now? I need you.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I’m already on my way over. Is everything okay? Do you need me to stay on the phone?”

“How long?” Tears welled up in her eyes again, threatening to spill over. She squeezed her eyes shut, sliding down the wall.

“2 minutes.” His breathing was ragged, and she could hear the faint pounding of footsteps. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“Please hurry?”

“I just got to the building, I’ll be up in a minute.”

She hung up, curling into herself and letting the phone fall to the floor beside her. She focused on her breathing and waited for Adrian’s knock on the door.

True to his word, a minute later a knock sounded against her door. Nova raised her head a fraction of an inch and called for him to come in, her voice raspy.

“Nova? Is everything okay?” He stopped when he saw her huddled on the floor, her head on her knees, arms wrapped around herself.

“Oh, sweetheart. Come here.” He held out his arms, his fingers brushing against hers. She slowly raised her head, looking into his deep brown eyes. They were filled with sympathy and worry and something that Nova couldn’t quite place. She scooted towards him, leaning against his chest as his arms wrapped around her, sighing in relief.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, hiding her face in his sweater. His arms tightened around her and she signed. He kissed the top of her head, whispering “I love you” against her hair.

“They came back.” She whispered, the tears beginning to fall again. “The nightmares.”

“I’m here. Nothing will touch you as long as I’m here.”

A sob tore at the back of her throat. “Why is there always so much blood? It’s always there. The gunshots, they’re always there. Why won’t they go away?” Her voice broke, the tears she had held back all this time finally spilling over in full. She wept into his sweater, not caring about the spot she was leaving against the fabric. Adrian held her, rubbing her back as she cried. He laced their fingers together with his other hand, rubbing his thumb along the side of her hand.

After a few minutes, he stood, with Nova still in his arms.

“Bed or couch?” He asked.

“Bed.” She mumbled against his sweater.

Adrian carried her to her bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. He kissed her forehead, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Nova held out her arms and Adrian settled in beside her, letting her hold him how she wanted, and when she was comfortable, wrapped his arms around her.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe with me,” he whispered in her ear, kissing the tears from her face.

Nova sighed, listening to Adrian’s heart, counting the beats until her eyes closed of their own accord and she drifted off to sleep.

A photo was clenched in her hand, one from the last time they were together. Danna had invited her out to the movies, and Ruby, thinking it was a group thing, that Oscar and Adrian would be coming, had cheerfully agreed, commenting on Oscar’s genius for sneaking snacks into theatres. Danna’s face had fallen, although only for a moment. Ruby had an old camera from before the Age of Anarchy, and she brought it with her everywhere. It was mostly filled with blurry selfies of her and Danna, from their various escapades. She brushed her fingers over the photo. It was wrinkled from being in her bag. Her fingers ghosted over Danna’s smiling face, and she could hear the echo of her laughter and feel the softness of her skin as their cheeks pressed together, feel the burning of her cheeks as she smiled, delirious from joy. 

She sighed, pulling up her wristband to once again stare at the word that plagued her to no end. 

read. 

It had been 4 days, and Danna had spoken 4 words to her. 

4 words. 

4 words that repeated over and over and over in her brain. 

“Sorry, Ruby, gotta go!”

Danna never called her Ruby. Not even at work. It was always Rue, Red, Red Assassin, anything but her name. That may have been what stung the most. The formality. 

It wouldn’t have hurt so bad if Danna hadn’t been so obviously avoiding her. 4 days wouldn’t be so bad if Danna had at least looked at her, maybe offering an apologetic smile or wave. Crime had grown recently in Gatlon, and they were all busy, especially the Renegades that specialized in surveillance, like Danna. 

It wouldn’t have hurt so bad if Ruby wasn’t 87% sure that she was in love with Danna. She’d always liked her, as more than a friend. She’d been fascinated with Danna since the second she saw her emerge from her swarm at the Renegade trials, and her heart had fluttered when Danna smiled at her from her table, giving her a thumbs up before Ruby started her trial. Her dimples gave Ruby butterflies, and the way that she could always make Ruby laugh had her falling faster than she’d thought was possible. She’d never told Danna any of this, not even that she was bisexual. She’d been interested in Danna since before they’d been formally introduced, and had always secretly hoped that one day, they could be more than friends. 

But no, Danna stiffened whenever Ruby entered a room and immediately rushed out, not even offering an excuse, not even looking at Ruby. 

Would things ever be the same? 

She could handle being alone, but only if she had Danna. Even surrounded by her family and other friends, she didn’t know what she would do without her. Her presence was so comforting, so normal, that it was surely something she couldn’t live without. Even if they were just friends. 

read. 

“Sorry, Ruby, gotta go!” 

read. 

Ruby. 

read. 

gotta go. 

Ruby. 

read. 

The words swirled through her head in a never-ending spiral, as tears began to spill over, streaming down her cheeks. She buried her head in her pillow, letting her tears soak the fabric as she clenched the photograph in her hand, threatening to crumple it. She wasn’t even mad anymore. Betrayed, yes. Confused, definitely. But mostly, she just wanted, she just needed to know what was going on. 

A wave of determination swept through her. If Danna wasn’t going to come to her, then Ruby would go to her and make Danna talk to her. 

Danna felt horrible. She missed Ruby, but how else was she supposed to cope with being in love with her best friend other than cutting herself off until the feeling went away? Ruby didn’t want her. Ruby liked Oscar. Not her. 

She had been ready to confess when she invited Ruby to the movies, but Ruby brought Oscar along, and by association, Adrian. They sat next to each other during the movie, laughing and sharing snacks like always, but the whole time Danna was acutely conscious of Oscar sitting next to Ruby and how much she wished he wasn’t there. She found herself imagining herself on a date with Ruby, settling her head on her shoulder, holding her hand. 

She held up the picture Ruby had given her, from before the movie started. She smiled softly at the radiant look on Ruby’s face and traced her fingers over her hair. Those black and white pigtails haunted her, both day and night. 

Danna sighed, letting the photograph fall from her hand. 

She hated being in love. 

No, she hated being in love with her best friend. Her beautiful, funny, kind, very straight best friend. 

The one person she couldn’t have. 

At least, she was pretty sure Ruby was straight. 

She opened her phone, habitually opening up her text conversation with Ruby, but closed it when she remembered that she couldn’t talk to her, for more than one reason. Ruby would be furious with her for ignoring her this long, but each time she talked to her she fell more in love. She let her phone fall back onto her bedspread and closed her eyes. 

Danna must have drifted off to sleep because she was woken, an unknown amount of time later, by her bedroom door slamming open. Danna sat up, rubbing her eyes, squinting through her confusion at a figure in her doorway. Her heart fluttered at the sight of Ruby’s choppy black and white hair but sank the moment she saw her expression and remembered why she was avoiding her. 

“WHAT THE HELL, DANNA! I thought we were friends.”

“Ruby-”

“You never call me Ruby. Ever. You’re not answering my texts, you sprint out of the room the second I enter, you ignore my calls.” 

“Rue-” 

“No. You don’t get to call me that anymore. I swear it’s like we’re not even friends anymore. We’ve never gone more than a day without talking, and no more than two without seeing each other. Please, Danna, just tell me what’s going on.” Her voice had turned from angry to desperate and her eyes were pleading. 

“It’s nothing.” She couldn’t tell her. Not like this, and perhaps not ever. It would ruin everything and that was the last thing she wanted. “Things have just been crazy, it doesn’t really matter. Surveilance. Renegade stuff.”

“Danna, if you think I’m letting you get off with ‘things have been crazy,’ you’ve lost it. Just tell me, Danna, it won’t change anything. Please. I miss you.”

“It would change everything. And I don’t want things to change. I’ll get over it and everything will be the same it always has been.”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Ruby.”

“You won’t lose me. I’m stuck with you whether you like it or not and I’m not going anywhere no matter how hard you try to get rid of me, but if you keep this up we might be over.” Ruby was glaring at her, breathing heavily. 

“I can’t-”

“Just tell me!” Ruby shouted. “I swear to all the fucking gods, Danna, it can’t be that bad.  If you’re going to keep ignoring me like this, just tell me why! I just need to know why. Did I do something? Is it-”

Something inside of Danna snapped. “It’s because I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, Ruby!”

 Ruby gasped. Through all their years of friendship, Danna had never seen her so surprised. Ruby’s hand was covering her mouth, eyes wide. 

Danna closed her eyes, her head tilted to the floor, unable to look at Ruby for fear of rejection. 

“Danna?” 

“I know. I know Oscar likes you and you like him and I thought if I distanced myself it would go away but it just made it worse and I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin anything and I think I’ll just go work out my feelings and we can be friends like we always have been.” She moved to leave, and her hand was on the doorknob when Ruby called out. 

“Danna, wait.”

Danna took a deep breath and turned around, meeting Ruby’s eyes with great difficulty. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to go, anyway. They were in her apartment. 

She expected to see pity or disgust when she looked at Ruby. She was met only with hope. 

“I don’t like Oscar.” 

Danna blinked. 

“Not like that, I mean. I like him, but-” Her cheeks were red and her eyes wistful. “I like you too. I love you.”

It was Danna’s turn to be surprised. “But, you- you never wanted to go out with me. Alone, that is. You always talked about Oscar and bringing him along.”

Ruby laughed. “Danna, was that your way of asking me out? I thought you meant as a group! With the whole team?” 

“I thought I was clear,” Danna laughed. 

“The thought crossed my mind once, but I thought you liked that girl from HQ? The one that’s always in the training hall on Tuesdays?”

“She has a boyfriend. Plus, she isn’t you.” She smiled shyly at Ruby. 

Ruby cheeks flushed. She stood, walking slowly over to Danna. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Danna’s breaths quickened. She’d been dreaming of this day for months, imagining every possible scenario in a thousand different ways. She could only nod. 

Ruby cupped her cheek, slowly brushing her lips against Danna’s. 

Danna sighed into the kiss, and Ruby kissed her harder. Her hands found their way into Ruby’s hair, the strands slipping through her fingers. Kissing Ruby was something that she never wanted to get used to. 

Every one of Danna’s movements gave Ruby butterflies. And when she sighed… oh. If Ruby hadn’t been in love before, she was now. Danna’s hand in her hair, her lips against Ruby’s… This was the moment she’d been waiting her entire life for. Danna had been right. Nothing would ever be the same again, but she didn’t want it to be. She just wanted to stay here, with Danna, holding her close. She pulled away, their faces just centimeters apart. Danna’s breath fanned across her face, all sweetness and serenity. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that,” Danna whispered, her cheeks flushed. 

“I think I do.” Ruby kissed her cheek. “How long?” 

“Since I first saw you at trials. You?”

“The first time you emerged out of your swarm. Skies, Danna, do you know how fucking beautiful you are?” 

“Was that-”

“Yes, it was the day of the trials,” She playfully shoved at Danna. “We’ve been pining since the same day.” 

“We got there in the end.” Danna laced her fingers through Ruby’s. “Should we break the news to the others?” 

Ruby laughed, pulling her through the door. “When you tried to leave earlier, did you forget we’re in your apartment? Where would you go?” 

Danna rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I’d have known where I was going even if I had left. I thought I’d just ruined our friendship. ” 

“Really, Honey? You couldn’t have come up with something a little more practical?”

“Nova, your only job tonight is to look so pretty that the Prince can’t take his eyes off of you. Leave any fighting to us. Besides, this is my old dress, and it’s the only one grand enough for a ball at the palace.” She sighed, a dreamy look on her face. “If only times were different.”  

Nova had to admit that the dress had grown on her. She had tried it on a couple days before the ball, and holding her sword in her hand, she felt more powerful than she ever had before. 

As she reached behind her to tie the back of the dress, she remembered the knives she had designed to go under the dress, strapped to her legs. If there was going to be a fight, there was no way she wouldn’t be involved. Even if it gave her away. Nova knew that she would do anything to bring down the Renegades. 

A knock sounded at her door and Nova jumped, strapping the knives to her thighs, where there was no way they would be seen. Most likely. Nova blushed at the thought, adjusting her skirt and opening the door to find Oscar. He looked nervous, his fingers tapping on the top of his cane. 

¨Can I come in?¨

Nova nodded, stepping back to let him in. 

“You look-”

“What are you-” They spoke at the same time. Laughing, Nova nodded at him to finish. 

“You look really nice. I wasn’t sure you would be going. Doesn’t seem like your scene. Planning on sneaking away with Adrian?”

Nova blushed, her fingers clenching the fabric of her skirt. Oscar only laughed, and stepped further into the room. 

“I guess you’re wondering why I’m here?”

Nova mulled over possible scenarios in her head. 

He could have found her out, but he probably would have told Ruby, who would have told Danna, who would certainly have had her arrested. No, that wasn’t it. She back-tracked, her mind landing on Ruby. Oscar wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings, and almost everyone knew that he liked her, Ruby included.

“You want help with Ruby.”

Oscar stared at her, his mouth falling open, before quickly closing it and nodding. “How did you-” “You’re not very subtle. Anyone with common sense could take one glance at you and know.”

He flinched. “Do you think she knows?”

“I think she does, but I also think that she likes you too, Oscar. You’re a catch, and Ruby knows it. You have everything you need for tonight, you know? It may sound kind of trite, but just be yourself. If she hasn’t already, Ruby will fall for you in a second.” 

“Kind of trite? Seriously Nova, that’s what everyone tells you growing up. But thanks. See you soon?”

“Yeah. See you soon.”

 He nodded goodbye, making his way out of the door and down the hall. 

Nova closed the door behind him, letting out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. The words she had spoken to Oscar echoed in her head. How could she tell Oscar to be himself when everything about her was a lie? She was an anarchist, not a Renegade. The Nova that they knew was a lie. But the Nova that the Anarchists knew was a lie too. She didn’t know who she was. Nova groaned, her head falling back against the wall as she sunk to the floor, her thoughts spinning. 

Adrian had insisted on helping prepare for the gala, not that there was much for him to do. Servants were adding final decorations, and the food was being brought out, but otherwise, there was nothing to do. The Council had said that it wasn’t necessary, that the servants would take care of it all, but he wanted to help. He hated having people do things for him. That, and he needed something to distract him from Nova. She had said that she was coming, but that didn’t mean anything. Nova was a little bit unreliable, always late, sometimes never showing at all. She always apologized, mumbling something about her uncle. Adrian thought that her uncle must be very old, or sick, because he seemed to always be ill. Of course, everyone was encouraged to bring their families tonight, and Adrian had asked if she would bring her uncle, but Nova had burst out laughing, saying that he was not the type for galas. Nova didn’t seem to be the type for galas either, but she had said that she would come. All he wanted was for her to come. Hell, she could come in her guard uniform and he would still whisk her away across the dance floor. He sketched some flowers for decoration, handing them off to a servant.

“Adrian!” The Council stood behind him. Hugh had spoken, his tone laced with disapproval. “The ball is starting in 5 minutes, you ought to be in your place.” 

Adrian sighed, turning away from the tables and slowly walking towards the far side of the room, where he would give his opening speech. He could hear quiet talking from behind the large doors, where guests were inevitably waiting for the doors to open. Adrian wondered if Nova was behind those doors. He leaned against the wall, lost in his thoughts as he waited for the doors to open. 

Nova walked down the corridors, holding her skirts up. Her heels clicked on the hard floors, her pace not quite frantic, but not leisurely. She was late. She had been caught up in her own thoughts, and had barely heard the chiming of the bell towers. The ballroom wasn’t far, but she couldn’t run, for fear of arriving out of breath, or tripping on her heels. Honey had trained her well, insistent that there would be another lady among the anarchists. Nova could walk and run in heels, as well as apply makeup, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed it. She had knives strapped to her legs, hidden beneath layers upon layers of skirts. As she reached the large double doors, she heard applause, and a shout for the festivities to begin. She confirmed her invitation with the doorman, and slipped through the doors, hiding in the back of the crowd. Adrian stood in front of all the guests, a brilliant smile on his face. Nova’s breath caught in her throat. If he had looked handsome before, it was nothing compared to now. As soon as the crowd began to disperse, his smile faded and he searched the crowd, desperation hidden deep in his gaze. Music began to play, and a swarm of girls beelined towards the prince, all hoping to accompany him for the first dance. Nova made her way towards him, if only to let him know that she had arrived. She watched him as she walked, waiting for the moment when he would see her. She was halfway across the room when he did. His smile was back, as brilliant, if not more so than ever, and he stood, pushing gently through the crowd of girls to meet her. She stopped in the middle of the ballroom floor, and waited as he made his way towards her. Everyone around her was whispering, and more than one young woman was throwing a hateful glare her way, but Nova didn’t care. Adrian reached her, taking her hand and brushing a gentle kiss against her knuckles. 

“You look- you’re beautiful.” Nova flushed, mumbling her thanks. It wasn’t enough that Adrian was looking at her with such intensity that Nova’s whole body felt like it was on fire, but every pair of eyes in the room was on them, the air filled with whispers.

“I wasn’t sure you would come. I didn’t see you at the beginning-” 

“I lost track of time. Besides, I heard so much about the food from Oscar that I figured it would be a crime to miss it.” 

Adrian laughed, and the sound sent electricity coursing through Nova’s body. She smiled, and Adrian dropped her hand. 

“Nova McLain, will you please do me the honor of accompanying me for the first dance?” He held out his hand to her bowing ever so slightly. She took his hand and dropped into a curtsy. He pulled her closer, and the dance began. 

Nova had never liked dancing. And she never thought that she would, until she danced with Adrian Everhart. Her dance lessons all those years ago with Honey were swept away as she followed Adrian’s lead, forgetting everything Honey had taught her. They moved with the music, stepping and twirling, Nova’s skirts swirling around them. 

His hand slid around her waist, and Nova let out a breathy sigh. Thoughts of what was sure to happen later that night fell away as she danced with Adrian. She began to notice the people around them. No one else was dancing, they were all watching her and Adrian. 

“They’re all looking at you.” She whispered, staring up at him. 

“Believe me, they’re all looking at you.” He was looking down at her, something indescribable in his eyes. 

The dance ended, and they bowed and curtseyed. Nova’s breathing was ragged, although not from the dance. Adrian was still so close, his hand returned to her waist as he looked down at her. 

“Nova?” 

She looked into his eyes. He was so close, she could almost feel his breath fanning across her face.  

“Can I kiss you?” 

Nova leaned up, brushing her lips against his in response. She pulled away, ever so slightly, staring up at him. Adrian leaned down again, capturing her lips with his, pulling her close. Gasps arose from the crowd, some of surprise, others of disappointment and anger. She quickly pulled away, stepping back.

“Not here. Not with everyone watching.” 

He nodded, grabbing her hand and pulling her through the crowd, towards a side door.

“Everyone is still watching. Won’t they talk?” 

“They’ll soon forget. Come on, I have something to show you.” 

They left the ballroom, and walked through the halls, hand in hand. It took Nova more self-control than she was proud of not to grasp at him and kiss him until they were both breathless. But she didn’t, instead following Adrian as he led her into a gallery. Paintings, small and large adorned the walls. He pulled her towards a small painting in the back. Stopping in front of it, he pointed at the painting. 

“This is my favorite painting of my mother. My father had it done one of the first times they met. He asked her if anyone had ever painted her, and when she said no, he told her that they should, that there could never be a more perfect painting than one with her in it. She only laughed, but then the next time he visited he brought an artist, and he painted this one. Of course, once she became queen there were more, but this is my favorite. She was still carefree, living her life the way she always had been, before the mess that this kingdom became.” 

“She was beautiful.” 

Adrian nodded. “She was. She was kind, too. She never wanted to be queen, but she loved my father and wanted to take care of the kingdom, and to ensure that it didn’t fall to anarchy again.”

His mention of the Age of Anarchy reminded Nova of her mission. She wandered throughout the room, examining the paintings, slowly making her way towards the door. Adrian followed her, and more than once she noticed that his gaze was not on the paintings, but on her. She so desperately wanted to turn around and kiss him, but she knew that if she did, she wouldn’t be able to stop, and this was not the right place. She needed to take him out to the gardens, where the Anarchists would be waiting. Adrian took her hand again, leading her out of the small room and out into the hallways once more. Nova paused by a bench, sitting down for a moment to remove her heels. Adrian waited, and offered her his hand as she stood, her shoes in hand. He pulled her towards him, hands at her hips. 

“You’re shorter now.” He held back a laugh as he looked down at her. 

“I was wearing heels.” She brandished them at him, laughing. “We can’t all be as tall as giraffes.” 

“I’m not that tall,” he scoffed. “Besides, as long as I can kiss you, I’m perfectly okay with being tall.” 

Nova laughed again, leaning up and kissing his cheek. Adrian pouted, and Nova stood up as far as she could on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. Escaping from his grasp, she pulled away and raced down the hall, giggling as Adrian groaned. 

“Nova, I’m wearing a suit. And I’m the prince! I shouldn’t be seen chasing pretty girls down the hallways of my castle.” But he laughed chasing after her. 

Nova’s heart fluttered a tiny bit at his words, but she was more focused on her path, she led Adrian through the corridors, towards the gardens where the final phase of the plan would be carried out. 

She was out of breath when she finally reached the gardens, the sun setting over the hedges. Adrian was right behind her, gasping for air as he finally caught up to her. They were both breathless and full of laughter, giggling as they began to walk into the gardens. 

“I was here once, as a child, did you know that? My father was commissioned to make something in for the castle, and he brought me and my mother along and we explored the gardens. I found this statue in a tiny corner, and it was like everything stood still. Like there was nothing else in the world but me and the ruins and the statue. My mother was furious, of course, when she found me, but it was worth it. I wonder where it was…” She trailed off, looking around for some clue of her old path. 

Adrian pulled a tiny sketchbook from the pocket of his suit. “Is this it?” He said, pointing to a drawing.

Nova gasped. “How did you- yes-how?” 

“I go there to escape from my everyday life. Even patrol. No one else that I know of has ever found it, but not without lack for trying. The Council hates that they don’t always know where to find me. Here, I’ll show you the way.” He took her hand, lacing their fingers together, and pulled her down a path. 

After a series of twists and turns that left Nova’s head spinning, they reached the statue glen. Nova gasped. 

“It wasn’t a dream. It really happened. And it’s still here?” 

Adrian laughed as she ran to the entrance. She stopped right in front of the final barrier separating her from it, taking a deep breath before walking to the statue. It was exactly as she had remembered it, moss covering the pedestal and winding up the legs, an overwhelming sense of calm shrouding it. A rosebush grew beside it, the flowers as dark and red as blood. 

Nova sighed, laying down in the grass, staring up at the statue, her skirt fanning around her legs.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.” There was something in Adrian’s voice that made her look up. He wasn’t looking at the statue, or even at the area around them, but at her. Nova blushed, standing up, brushing off her skirt and holding out her hand to him. 

“Dance with me?” 

He took her hand, pulling her close. In his other hand, he held a rose from the bush. He held it out to her, and she took it. They danced a few steps, but it quickly turned into a kiss. Nova grabbed Adrian’s collar, pulling him down with her, until they were both on the ground, Nova’s back to the statue. Adrian pressed up against her, smiling into the kiss. The rose fell to the ground beside them. 

His hands made his way into her hair, his fingers running through it. Adrian let out a moan, his fingers tugging slightly on her hair, and Nova kissed him harder, nipping at his lower lip. One of his hands strayed from her hair, curving around her waist and pulling her against him. They piveted, Nova letting him guide her to the ground as he moved above her. Her arms were around his neck, pulling him down to her as their lips moved in sync. Her heart was pounding as they kissed, and if it was any louder she would have sworn it would beat right out of her chest. Her face was flushed, eyes squeezed shut. 

Bang.

Her eyes flew open. She gasped, her breathing growing heavier by the minute as the images of that fateful night flashed through her mind. 

Bang. 

Tears formed in her eyes, threatening to spill over. 

Bang.

The gunshots reminded Nova of her purpose. She didn’t belong here. She never would. No matter how much she wanted to stay here in Adrian’s arms and kiss him until she couldn’t breathe, she didn’t belong. This was a dream, the best she had ever had, but she would wake up soon, and Adrian would be gone. She would be back with the only family she had left, and things would be back to how they always had been. Ace would respect her, and the Council would fall. She would forget Adrian Everhart and his radiant smile, his handsome face, his kisses. No matter how much she wanted this moment to last forever, everything had to come to an end. 

Nova released her power through her body, through every place their skin touched. She was shaking, her breathing ragged, and as Adrian slumped to the ground beside her, she let out a sigh. 

Taking a deep breath, she removed herself from Adrian’s grasp and laid down beside him.  Something brushed against her hair and she reached for it. It was the rose. She tucked it into Adrian’s suit pocket and laid back down. The moon was high in the sky, stars stretching across the midnight sky as far as she could see. She searched for the constellations she knew so well, smiling as she identified each one. She knew this sky as well as she knew the city. As a child she had climbed rooftops and laid for hours, searching the sky. She had learned the stories that accompanied them, whispering the tales out loud as the stars twinkled. 

Now, laying in the palace gardens, with the sleeping prince beside her, Nova was reminded once again of that night all those years ago. Waiting for someone to come save her. Only this time, she knew who was coming. And it wasn’t the Renegades. The Anarchists may have been cruel, but they always came for her. She was one of them, and they didn’t leave anyone behind, as long as they served a purpose. 

She watched the stars, waiting for the Anarchists. A bee buzzed through the air, landing on Nova’s nose. Her eyes crossed as she looked at it, standing to follow it as it flew off. The Anarchists were waiting for her on a nearby path. She led them back to the statue, and they gathered up Adrian and brought him back to Winston’s balloon. Seeing Adrian floating in the air in front of Ace, Nova realised that everything that had just happened was real. It wasn’t a dream, she had really done it. Their plan was well underway, and her part was done. All she had left to do was watch from the sidelines as the Renegades fell. They all boarded Winston’s hot air balloon, letting Adrian drop to the floor as it rose into the air. Nova winced as Adrian’s head hit the floor, hard enough to leave a mark. She turned away, watching as the castle faded from view and the forest took its place.