#marriedlady

Just when I'm not feeling my husband and he's really getting on my nerves, he turns around and does something kinda sweet. The other night , we were both in bed. I had the TV on as white noise, but I was actually reading a book. He was watching some show on his phone. Once I got in the bed, he patted his stomach as if that's where he wanted me to lay down. Even though we were both doing our own thing, he made that gesture. I laid on him. He put his arm around me. It was sweet. We stayed like that for a bit until I went to sleep.

It's not a lot. This I know. But for him it was, and I will acknowledge it.

I am literally married to the biggest deflector ever.

for a spell when we first got together , we didn’t have as much sex. He would try and come on to me, but something was going on with me and I pushed him off. He mentioned it to me. Since I come from an abusive past, we both figures that might have something to do with it and I went to therapy. He even came to a couple of sessions with me. Things got resolved and then our sex life was back to good.

Then he got involved with his new hobby which was fitness, nutrition and wolfing out. At first, I was more than fine with it being his thing. But then he wanted to bring me into it, but had a terrible way of trying to include me. He started comparing me to the other people in this lifestyle. Especially the girls. Every man should know never compare a woman, especially YOUR WOMAN’S look to any one else’s. Women are already so insecure about our bodies, and the comparison just makes it worse! Anyway, he was all about the new hobby , and I was put on the back burner. He made me feel like I was shit compared to him and his new friends. He couldn’t empathize with me. He couldn’t relate to me and more importantly he didn’t even try to. He thought of I spent more time around his new friends, I would “see the light ” and everything would just click into place for me. Didn’t happen. We worked through it some. Sex life got to be back good/okay.

Then shortly after we got married, we decided to go for a baby. I went psycho with ovulation kits, different apps on my phone, a sex schedule, the whole 9. He told me I took the fun out of our sex life. I agreed and let it all go. Then I lost my job and sex life, intimacy , connection, all of that suffered and we are still trying to pick up the pieces. Oh and when I lost my job I gained weight.

I have often times told my husband that he cannot just turn to me in the middle of the night and say, “Let’s have sex.” Like most women, I need to be turned on. It needs to work up to that. I’ve told my husband sex at night starts in the morning with sweet kisses and light touches, it continues throughout the day with hugs and kisses, and some slaps on the ass, and even sexting. Sex at night is the build up of all that went on during the day.

So last night - this ass fuck turns to me and says, “Let’s do 6-9.” I laughed him off and said no, I wasn’t in the mood for it. I was thinking about doing it since I try not to turn him down, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. He tries for a few moments more and I tell him it’s going to be a no go. He then tells me he’s going to jack off , I laughed and said okay. He get up and went to the bathroom. Mind you, nothing during the day built up to 6-9 last night. And even when he asked me to do it , there were no hugs and kisses , sweet touches or anything leading up to it. Just a statement. Plus a few minutes prior I told him my back hurt. Maybe if the ass fuck tried to give me a massage, I would have been more likely to suck his dick. Plus I was ok the phone texting a friend when he was saying this to me. He got up and left the room. I turned over and was headed to sleep. He comes back in the room to tell me how upset he was. I was ok the phone ignoring him, and how if the roles were reversed I would be pisses. I said you’re right. I’m sorry. I will do better.

Just now the ass fuck calls me and says I remember when I our sex life went down hills. It’s when you used to always turn me down, and then I would feel bad, and then you went to therapy for it. I’m like okay, I remember that point in our relationship, but that was already resolved by the time you started your hobby. He said not even, and that that’s 75% of the reason our sex life went down hill. Basically, I’m the reason that that hugs and kisses all stopped coming from him. Not that the ass fuck was ignoring me, and comparing me to other women. He always, always, ALWAYS tries to find away to not take responsibility for his actions and make it someone else’s fault. He doesn’t know how to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m going to work on it. ”

He’s an “I’m sorry, but ….” Kinda guy. We all know that when someone says that, the apology isn’t genuine and they do not see the wrong the have done.