#marklee au

  mark lee also didn’t want to think about adult life for real. he didn’t understand money or saving money. new game? he bought it. new pc’s set? bought. both of you couldn’t let yourselfs for such a treats since he works in office not at well paid place and you are teacher in kindergarten. some furnitures in your flat are broken but mark never tried to fix them or tried to call a service.

“and i am done with a game. what should i do?” mark walked over to you while hugging you from the back. “i can do whatever you want.”

“i did it myself.” you rolled yor eyes. “we don’t have dinner so you can go for a chicken for us tonight.”

“got it babe.”

  five minutes. ten minutes. fiveteen minutes. twenty minutes. an hour.

  an hour passed since mark went for your dinner and you were growing inpatient since you were mad hungry. your boyfriend didn’t answer your calls and you was already bothered because something might happened. last thing possible to do was to call one of his friends.

“haechan? do you know maybe where’s mark?”

“oh hey y/n. yeah, he is here and play with me and jeno.” he laughed. “why?”

“are you kidding me? can you pass me to him?”

“sure.”

“mark, what the actual fuck are you doing at haechan’s?”

“shit.” he stood up with phone in his hand. “my bad, i forgot. fuck, i’ll be home in a few just wait.”

  your boyfriend was hanging out with his friends while you were starving in your house worried about him.

“don’t fuckin come home tonight. stay with them and play your dumb ass games.”

  you hung up on him and sighed. while mark choose to ignore it and do as you said, you ordered some chicken to your place and wanted to burst out crying. such a small things like that made you sick to your stomach because you knew you can never count on mark. whenever somethings happened he’s never there or let you down with littiest things ever. even once he forgot to pick you up from daegu and you had to wait three hours on a staion for a train. 

  but back in your high school times mark was the prettiest, the most talented and the nicest guy ever. everyone literally loved mark lee from year ‘99. mark was always the purest soul and even teacher setted him as a good example of a student and a child. parents of all years knew about him and compared their kids to him. he also was innocent person and love was so new and weird to him no one was surprised until.. until he saw you during your class preentation on a big day at school. you were so pretty and the way you talked to your teammates was amazing. jeno and jaemin made fun of him for a long time because whenever they talked about fameous y/n, he would blush as crazy. second time you impressed him was during school’s sports day. you were leader of volleyball team with your grade and you won. also, jury gave you mvp award since you was so good. the way you were humble about it and had never made big deal out of it made mark lee fall crazy in love with you. 

  let’s say haechan helped him be ready to meet you. and yes, he kinda made fool of himself since he was stuttering a lot and told you awkward compliments but it didn’t matter. you also liked mark. he was your crush ever since you started school. perfect match for both of you.

“honey, please don’t be mad at me.” mark was trying to unlock the lock of your bedroom’s door. “please. i know i fucked up but you didn’t have to get me out of the house.”

“are you even surprised?” you hissed. “you do nothing here. always let me down with everything and you still have issues with me?”

“well, maybe you just overreacting? i pay most of the bills here and work my ass of for both of us and you are mad because i didn’t help you clean?”

  it was whole mark lee. he had never admitted when he was wrong. never take resposability.

“it’s not about just cleaning! it’s about overall.”

“just let me in.”

  tired of his loudness, you opened the door and you were met with his puppy eyes which always made you give in. 

“i’m too tired to talk with you. i have to go to work.”

“wait. you still have an hour to go.”

“so what?” you demanded. “we can talk later unless we will talk at all.”

“ok, i am sorry.” mark muttered. “i shouldn’t leave you yesterday. haechan just called while i was near the restaurant and i have told him i can’t but he have kept going. my bad.”

“so it was haechan’s fault?”

“kinda.” mark hugg you. “i am sorry, i’ll never do it again. let’s just forget and live peacfuly, alright?”

  the way he was looking at you with his eyes you couldn’t do nothing else but agree. 

“sure. but don’t do it again.” you hugged him back. “and help me more.”

“yes sir.”

  tons of kiss lend on your neck, collarbones, chest and tummy. all your arguments always ended up with make up sex. no matter what sex was only thing mark has never missed or fucked up which sometimes made you overthink. was he using you? why he won’t do anything you asked but that? does he even love you?

“do you want me to drive you?”

“yes, please.”

  while driving mark told you a lot of funny stories he had ever experienced with his friends and you were laughing and crying because of how funny they were. mark lee never fails to make you laugh. that was one of the things why you loved him. 

  as soon as mark found place to park at parking lot in front of building of kindergarten he couldn’t help but stare at children going and running around with their parents chasing them and trying to calm them down. 

“one day it will be us who would walk our kids to school, you know?”

  mark looked at you seriously and you could smile. you always knew he was good with kids and always wanted one but you weren’t really believing him. he was saying same thing for past six years of you dating. majority of your friends are married or have children. they found peace in life and are growing as people. but you? mark always feed you with sweet, little lies but never commit to them.

“aren’t you saying that all the time whenever some kid passes by?”

“i am for real. really.” he raised his eyebrows. “we will have amazing children. just imagine us on a date with kids by some lake. mini us running all around the place making mess.”

“hold up, let’s not get there.”you giggled at your boyfriend. “i need to go. bye.”

  children going around and screaming at the top of your lungs is something you get used to because past two years taught you everything you should know about kids. they were little devils well, not all of them but majority. children were also cruel to each other which made you shocked at first. they are scary but you have to get through it after all. being mom is also scary at that point.

“ya! park haesoo why did you hit her?” you were looking at little boy standing in front of you with big smile while little girl was crying. “can you answer?”

“she deserves that. dan is dumb.”

“you can’t hit other kids and call them names. it’s very bad and it’s not acceptable.” you hissed. “bow and apologize to her.”

“i don’t want to.”

“park haesoo, i will call your parents if you don’t apologize to dan. do you want to get minus points because of your bad behaviour? instead of ten you will lose twenty.”

“i am sorry dan.”

  little boy bowed down and walked away while dan was crying. you were little bit worried because she got hit on the face with plastic toy which causes a lot of pain. sometimes you wished you could punch some of the children here since their parents don’t care if their kids behave in a bad way. 

  while getting kids ready for lunch you felt sudden need to vommit. you run to the nearest toilet and threw up. you must eat something or you got food poisoning. some co-workers looked at you worried but you let them know it’s nothing serious.

“wait. park jisung got on his knees and he proposed to you?”

“yes! i can not believe my little jisung did that. i was so surprised i haven’t answered for two minutes and he almost take it as a no.” your friend giggled. “you don’t even know how happy i am to be his wife. i mean, fiance for now but still i am getting married.”

“when-”

“in a two months. jisung have talked with out parents and everyone agreed we want to do it as fast as it’s possible.”

“wow. congratulations for both of you! after four years of dating your boyfriend finally made a big step. i am so proud.” you hugged her. “i don’t know what else should i say. good luck! fighting!”

  deep inside you felt like a knife went down your spine and you were struggling to catch a break and felt betrayed. of course, marriage of your friend and mark’s friend was amazing but jisung was the youngest among mark’s squad. only mark, haechan and jeno are one without wives, children or fiance title. jeno was single most of the time, haechan is player and mark is.. mark. even jisung is going to get married. you wished it was you but it’s seems like mark isn’t ready for big step.

“believe me y/n, when i got to know jisung is going to propose to yuna i was like dude, what the fuck. aren’t you dating for four years, and he just nodded with a biggest smile i have ever seen. it’s so unreal our jisung is going to be husband soon.”

  mark was laughing while you were looking with empty gaze at the tv. grip on your tv remmote was only tightening with every more second of mark’s laugh.

“why is it funny to you? majority of our friends are married while we still stuck at that boyfriend-girlfriend stage for past six years, mark.” you sighed. “don’t you think it’s weird?”

“honey, i told you so many times our time will come.” mark laughed. “i can’t understand why you’re so obsessive about it. even if we would be together for ten years would it be wrong? not married at all?”

“i’m-”

“exactly. we will get married one day but not now. we still need time for us. for our youth. we have time y/n. don’t need to rush anything.”

  mark was right at some point but it was upsetting you. mark always do you like that, whenever you try to talk he will shut you up quickier than you have ever spoke. of course, you understood where he’s coming from but you were getting worried. whenever you saw relationship advicies and psychology, instagram posts about it, twitter and truth about relationships, youtube vlogs and damned tiktok where people explain it to young women. if after a long term relationship he hasn’t proposed yet - he doesn’t take you seriously. thoughts like that was bothering you to the maxium of your limit. 

“are you taking me seriously?” mark almost popped his eyes. “us? that whole relationship? i am asking you for real so be honest with me. i want to know the truth.”

“y/n, i love you truly. i have always loved you and i take you seriously. don’t start your paranoia because it’s really messed up. maybe you’re too stressed lately? you’re getting annoyed and mad at slightest of things.”

“mhm.”

  you didn’t have to answer mark because there was nothing else for you to say. but again, mark was right. you are getting worked up over smallest things lately. even too loud phone alarm is getting on your nevers to the point you almost crushed your phone few times. 

  at the night you woke up and run to the toilet because of sudden stomach pain and need to vommit again. mark got scared when you basically jumped out the bed and rushed to the toilet so he followed you just to find you on your knees by toilet. he got scared for a second.

“are you fine?”

  you had to take few breathes to answer him.

“yes, i mean i feel little bit sick. i suppose i got stomach poisoning.” mark hummed and got you towel. “you can go back and i will brush my teeth real quick.”

“i can wait for you.” you nodded and flushed the toilet. “are you sure it’s nothing serious? maybe take a day off?”

“i am.” you rolled your eyes. “i can’t take days off, mark.”

  mark nodded and watched you doing your thing. he was always worried about you no matter what so of course he was scared when you told him about food poisoning but if you let him know it’s nothing serious he stopped being overprotective and just got back to the bed together with you.

“i bought a new dollhouse.” small girl touched your hand. “do you want to see pictures? please.”

“of course, hana.” you smiled at her. “show me.”

  girl with two high ponytails goes up to you with biggest grin and pink phone showing you proudly her dollhouse her parents bought for her fourth birthday. it was pink and looked expensive but her parents were doctors so you weren’t surprised. the way she was talking about it made your day ten times better. some kids aren’t that scary.

“my mum promised me we will buy other accesories for it and few other dolls. would you like to see them once i get them?”

“yes! come here and showe me when you will have your dream toys, hana.”

  she ran off with little giggles. hana was one of the nicest kid here. she was one of the few who didn’t caused problems. 

  two weeks passed and you felt little bit worse. vommiting was something you had to get used to since every morning you have morning sickness. you haven’t told no one, not even mark knew because you were scared. everytime you woke up with urge to throw up, you get out the bed queitly and always close all the door for mark to not hear a sound. the worst thing was period getting late for far more than you expected. you totally forgot since you had a lot of work but as you’re looking at it you felt bad. 

“what are you saying?” yuna splited her coffee out. “i can not belive it. are you pregnant, girl?”

“i don’t know! lord, please don’t do me like that. i can not be, not now.” you held your hands like you were praying. “i am not ready, we are not ready.”

“have you taken a test?”

“no, i am too afraid to do it.” your voice was shaking. “what do i do if i am? i can not give a birth now, not when we and mark are on bad terms lately.”

  yuna was looking at you with sad smile. she knew about mark and every fight you had, and even tho she was going to marry his best friend she stated it to you - break up with mark lee. she was the one who was convincing you to break up because of all the shit he had done. mark was still a child and nothing is going to change that. yuna’s heart ached since she knew it and being pregnant only make things worse.

“let’s go. we are going to buy a test and we will find out, y/n.”

“yuna, i-”

“i said let’s go.”

  thirty minutes later after shopping at pharmacy and after buiying four different tests you were sitting in bathroom while yuna was in the living room waiting for you to come and announce the results. both of you were praying to god for best.

“yuna.” 

  your small voice made yuna get up from the chair she was sitting at and stare at you. you were holding all the tests in your hands and you were literally shaking.

“two lines.” she whispered. “fuck.”

“i’m going to cry.”

  you sat down on the couch while yuna was too busy thinking. 

“do you want that baby?” you wiped your tears with hand. “you said you’re not ready and don’t want a child for now. also, you said you’re young. do you want to keep the baby?”

  yuna’s question made you freeze. all the things she said was truth since you told her about it many times. 

“no! of course i don’t want to. it’s a mistake i can not have a baby right now.”

“i know place and very good and highly recommended healh clinic when you can have abortion done. we would have to go together to the doctor who would tell you everything and what month is it.” you were breathing harder. “if you’re sure as fuck, then you can get rid of it. i am sure it’s first months.”

“what about mark? should i tell him?” yuna was about to answer. “no. i won’t. he would make me keep the baby. it’s my body. can we get there as fast as possible?”

“my sister’s husband works there so he can make an appointment even today.”

“perfect.”

  yuna helped you get ready and your heart was beating while doing so. everything is a mess in your head and you can’t think straight. you were sure you don’t want a child but thing that was bothering you was mark. how is he going to react when you tell him?

  small clinic was fivteen kilometers away from your home. during ride to that place you were getting nervous. money? you had them enough for it. even if you will be starving for a months you are not changing your mind at all. your friend tried to support you as much as she could, she knows you well and for both of you it was the best decission you could ever had made.

“you’re one month pregnant y/n.” a guy with a beard smiled at you. “everything seems fine. we can do it even today if you’re sure. there would be 500$ for everything including pain killers. if you’re not ready we can find a date for you.”

“i am. i want to do it today, please.”

“sure. come with me, and your friend can wait here in waiting room.”

“you may kiss the bride.”

  everyone was screaming when yuna and jisung kissed in front of every guest invited to their wedding. jisung’s friends were laughing while yuna’s friends including you, were clapping the hardest they can. today is yuna’s day. your best friend is going to be wife and her relationship with jisung upgraded to another level.

   sadly, you couldn’t quite say the same about you and mark. instead of working out your relationship, everything got more complicated. none of you spoke to each other for days before one of you break the character and apologize first. mark was hanging out with his friends more frequently and everytime you bring this up he will find tons of excuses. 

“our little jisung got married!” haechan was screaming at top of his lungs. “i am so happy for you man. i didn’t know what should i say for speach today. i was looking for inspiration for the longest time ever. and guess what. i found ton of bullshit.” everyone laughed at him including you and mark. “i don’t wan to sugar talk to both of you. i want to say honest words i could ever think of. i have never ever expected our jisung to be married before me or mark. how did that happened? just few years ago you were a child and now you start your own family. treat yuna right or she and we will whoop your ass. as your hyung, i am proud of you. i am proud of person you became and how mature you are now. even if you’re married, don’t change too much and still be our jisungie.”

  guests were clapping at haechan’s speech. his words came right from his heart and everyone seemed to be touched by it since he is never serious. moment almost felt magical. few other people gave their speeches and after all they could finally dance. yuna looked the happiest ever and your heart was pounding by the view and you didn’t notice when tears of happines were going down your face.

“are you crying?” mark giggled and hug you. “our best friends got married. it’s fine to cry.”

“oh, shut up mark.” you hit him on the thigh. “yuna is married, i can not believe it. look at them, they’re so happy.”

“yes, they are.” he kissed your cheek. “do you think we will be that happy during our wedding?”

  question made you stare at the floor with teary eyes.

“propably yes. at least we should, mark.”

  mark didn’t have to answer you since you were too busy recording first dance on your phone while your boyfriend was talking with his friends. 

   already five hours passed and most of the guests also passed out because of alcohol since wedding was like a big party with relatives. few uncles of jisung and yuna asked you to dance which you agreed to and now your legs ached. aunts were ready to gossip about everyone and spilled some tea about family members. even “caitlyn”, rich yuna’s aunt was talking with you and gave you one of her purses since she had too much of them. mark was also talking with family members and was busy drinking with his friends.

“honey, can we go to the hotel?” mark was mumbling to your ear. “i am too drunk and it’s getting boring here. i have few ideas.”

“what ideas?” you raised an eyebrow. “i am not ready for any ideas.”

“trust me, y/n.”

  with that words everything happened as it usually does. kissing while on the way to the bedroom and that lead to another things. you haven’t planed to have sex tonight since abortion you was scared to do so.

“do you have condom?” you asked breaking the kiss.

“yes, here.”

   morning was pretty at the sunday. it was past ten already and mark was still sleeping and will propably wake up with hangover so you got medications and water for him ready. at least that’s what you could do to help him. hotel sent you some breakfast so you tried to wake up mark but he was too stubborn.

“not now, please.”

“mark, breakfast is ready. get your ass and let’s go eat.”

“i don’t want to-”

“what a baby.” you hissed and took duvet out of him. “you have one minute and i want to see you in the living room.”

  mark was literally big child. he had never matured and it was giving you hard time while dealing with him. you didn’t want much but for mark to focus on both of you. not on his friends or stupid games but you two. 

  at the same time you were anxious while around him. nor you or yuna have told anyone about events that happened two months before. first few days you just got up early and went straight to kindergarten even if you were first one to arrive. after week you could live peacful since you put your thoughts together but you can’t help but feel guilt. mark was father of the fetus you got rid of and at least he should know. he should yet you weren’t ready to tell him. majority of time it was mark who fucks up but that time it was you with much worse thing than he have ever done.

  you couldn’t just sit him down one day and tell him everything.

“oh my god, waffles!”

  mark excitment brought smile to your lips.

“yeah with maple syroup.”

“damn, i haven’t eaten waffles with syroup in ages. dude, it’s so good.”

  after breakfast you got your things and decided to go back home. yuna and jisung had to stay with their families and do other things so you went to say goodbye and went on a way back home which will take less than two hours.

  days went by and you were done with everything. work is getting worse since more and more children go to school and they are rude, mark is busy with boys and yuna is out with jisung for a long time. you basicaly left alone with your thoughts that are getting worse. more and more you think about relationship with mark and issues. including abortion you were nerve wrecking. all you could think was that and it drives you crazy. 

  loud smack woke you up in the night. you get out the bedroom just to see mark all shaking and with tears running down his pretty face. a lot of thoughs get to your mind expecting the worst.

“mark? what happened?” you came closer. “mark calm down.”

  mark was breathing hard and you tried yout best.

“i was with jeno and, and.” he had to take a breath. “with jeno and i, we-” he couldn’t get words out. “we were fighting. fighting with jeno.” he was mumbling. “i think i broke his nose. i, i don’t know..” 

“where’s jeno? what happened. mark you need to calm down and explain everything to me, alright?” 

“at his home. i am sorry i didn’t mean to punch him i-” tears were rolling down his cheek. “i was mad because he was braging about me and i, i had to.”

“oh mark.” you hugged him. “go take a shower, and try to relax. fights happen, it’s not a big deal but you didn’t have to punch him.” you looked at him. “let’s talk to jeno in the morning? both of you should talk about it like adults.”

“what if he is mad angry? i broke his nose, and i, i was mean.”

“mark, jeno and you are friends for the longest time ever. just trust me and do everything as i told you to.”

“thank you y/n. i love you.”

“love you too.”

  mark was gone in the bathroom while you were sitting down on your bed waiting for him. mark was never first to use violence since he was rather a calm person. you had no clue what did they talked about which caused mark to snap at his best friend. 

  few minutes passed and mark was next to you in the bed, holding you close to him making both of you warm with touch. 

   ever since jeno’s and mark’s fight everything seemed weird. mark was avoiding you clearly and it was making you overthink. did you do something to upset him? you couldn’t think of answers for that question but wonder what had happened. 

“mark, can you tell me what’s wrong?” mark passed by you. “stop. mind explaining what’s wrong? i am worried about you.”

“nothing’s wrong.” he didn’t even look at you. “i am tired.”

“mark lee, stop being a baby and tell me what’s going on. you avoide me for a week straight. i don’t reacall if i did something wrong. what happened?”

“i don’t want to talk right now. can’t we talk later?”

“no, we can’t. i want answers. ever since fight with jeno, you are acing different and i want to know what’s going on with my boyfriend.” 

  mark finally looked in your eyes.

“are you hiding something from me?” mark’s question made you shiver. “or you haven’t told me something? whatever.”

“no? what are you even talking about? i am always honest with you as you might notice. why you even asking that?”

“are you sure you haven’t told me anything important?”

  you felt like your tongue was cut and you couldn’t find any words.

“i am sure.”

  mark laughed at your response and shaked his head.

“you have a lot of nerv, y/n.” mark was looking at you with grin. “lying straight to my face and gaslighting me into thinking you’re always honest with me. stupid.”

“mark, what the fuck do you mean? i don’t understand what you want from me.”

“i want truth, honey!” he snapped at you. “i want to know why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. i want to know why you kept it for yourself. why would you abort our baby without me knowing? what the fuck y/n!” he was screaming. “i love you, i really do but what you have done was so selfish and-” he took a breath. “and fucked up. i can’t believe i had to get to know from my friends and not from my own girlfriend.”

  your heart was aching because of your boyfriend’s words. he knows. he knows whole truth and you were sure yuna told everything jisung and he told the rest. mark was looking at you with disapointed gaze.

“because at the end of the day it’s my body. i don’t need your permission for it and besides that.” you looked up. “how would we manage raising a child? a human being? when we can’t even take good care of ourselfs. i don’t know why you’re so mad for it. you’re still an immature guy, mark. can’t you see it?” it was you who screamed now. “i am done with everything. you always find excuses for everything and blame everyone but you. always others had to fix mess you caused and usually it’s me! you cared more about your homies than me. i was there when you were at your worst but where were you when i needed you the most? nowhere to be found.”

“what the fuck? are you kidding me, y/n? now it’s my fault? i am immature? you fuckin killed our baby!”

“it was fetus!”

“it doesn’t fuckin matter. i had right to at least know maybe we would find solution? of course we would! yet you were selfish and did everything your way. look now, who’s immature?” he raised his eyebrows. “you. not my fault or yuna’s, but yours. it was yours choice not ours even tho it was our.. baby. i tried to support you as much as i can and you still tell me i wasn’t!”

“stop with that bullshit. you have never supported me. who helped me when i had gone through stress of work? when i had to go back to london to help my parents? when i was having breakdown due to work?” you were screaming at the top of your lung. “no one! you had never cared. it was only you and your friends. not me and you. you are holding me back, mark. i am running while you are trembling. we are on a different mentality levels, can’t you see?” you massaged your template. “i am ready and serious for a family but with you it’s impossible. look what i have done because of our relationship.”

“it wasn’t like that. my friends were with me and-”

“see? you do it again. excuses. not your fault, huh?” you mocked him. “i am done. our relationship for past few months only gave me headache and doubt. i was ready to commit and you just fool me with your lies. always tell me how you will marry me one day or about our chilldren. bullshit. if you wanted, you would.” mark was frozen on the spot. “you’re right with abortion. i should have let you know. my bad, really i regret that. but our relationship don’t have future. we aren’t kids no more, mark. we have to let go.”

  mark was looking at you with glossy eyes.

“are we breaking up?” you nodded. “wow, after all the things we’ve been through? we sacrificed so much for us to break up now. i love you so much y/n. maybe i was immature but that doesn’t change a thing. i still love you the same way i always did. we can’t end like this.”

“mark it’s too late now. i am ready to move on from us. i am ready to start new life without you in it. i have never imagined we wouldn’t made it to our plans but we have to do it now. we have to let go and start new chapter. withouth each other.”

“y/n, wait we can still think about it.” he was holding you close. “we can, we-” he was sobbing. “i don’t know go to therapy? we can find solution-”

“we can’t. i don’t want to share my life with you no more mark. we hold each other back and that’s the worst we can do to each other.” you pulled out. “please find a woman you will love and treat her better. send my love to her. i guess you need someone else. don’t fuck it up, mark lee.” you kissed him last time. “just know i loved you and you made me the happiest ever. i felt free and joyful with you. i still love you and i won’t forget about you easily.”

  mark could only look at you. that day mark lost love of his life due to his stupid actions. person mark loved the most just left.

  times passes by so fast no one notice. each day we grow and learn something new to us that made us smarter and better person. you were person who was learning a lot day by day and your life wasn’t mess anymore. ever since you and mark ended things between you two, you felt like a brand new person. weight of your shoulders was gone and you felt peacful with yourself after all the situations you’ve been through. 

  mark at the other hand couldn’t put himself together. all that time passed and he was stuck at that one moment and nothing could change that. friends, family or co-workers did their best but it doesn’t work. mark is still stuck in past with you. he misses you everyday and think only about you. it’s you who is stuck on his mind till today. mark didn’t find new lover. mark didn’t move on and wasn’t ready for it.

“mark?”

  voice so familiar, young male thought he was hallucinating when he heard it but as soon as he turned back, your face was smiling at him.

“y/n?”

“yup.”

  mark was quick to be in front of you. he felt like in a dream with you.

“what are you doing here?” he smiled. “oh my god.”

“i wanted to check on you since haechan told me you’re doing pretty bad.” he left out a giggle. “how do you feel, mark?”

“pretty bad. i can’t move on.”

“but you should.” worried face made him smile a little. “you can’t be stuck in a moment.”