#mark love

mea cul·pa : a formal acknowledgement of personal fault or error

Part 1 - Part 2

You rolled your eyes before grabbing your purse and following after your best friend. You didn’t know Mark was waiting for you, but then again, you didn't know much of the future. No one did. It was unpredictable.

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The living room was spacious, meaning you didn’t have to physically mingle with other sweaty body's to get to a place, however, you still smelled the sweat in the air and the humidity making your skin sticky. You wrinkled your nose.

You saw Amy walk over to the drinks while you wandered around the place. You didn't want to admit it but it was almost as if you were looking for Mark, but you convinced yourself you weren't and were just trying to see who attended.

"Y/N?"

You turned around to see the school's star, Jaebum. He was another boy who was prized by many girls, but he wasn't soft like Mark. Jaebum was known for his dominance whether it was in bed or not. His physical frame drew attention to him in the sense of attractiveness and authority and his mentality only portrayed maturity and slight mischief.

"Oh, Jaebum. Hey". You tucked your hair behind your ear and watched as he approached you. The disbelief that he was actually coming to talk to you was the only thing you could think about. Why was he coming to talk to a nobody like you? Perhaps Mark had said something? The two boys were close, along with 5 other boys you hadn't met yet.

The group of boys were infamously adored and hard to miss, they were also one of the closest friendship groups you had ever known of so it wouldn't surprise you if Mark had told Jaebum about you.

"It's nice to see you here, you look .. different. It's a good look on you"

You smiled at his shallow compliment and glanced down at his outstretched hand holding a cup, you raised a brow.

"I promise there's nothing in it, I thought I would give you a drink since it isn't really a party without one" he explained

"Jaebum, that's kind of you but I think I'll stay cautious and get my own drink". You walked off towards the table with drinks with him following you like a lost child.

"Alright, I understand. You seem like a smart girl Y/N" he said as he leant against the table watching you pour out your own drink from an unopened bottle.

You sighed and looked up at him. If he was insisting to remain in your company you may as well accept him since you had nothing better to do. You could also use a distraction to prevent you from seeing a certain someone.

---

You didn’t know how much time had passed or how many drinks you had taken but you found yourself pressed up against the wall with Jaebum against you. His hand holding your leg up next to him while his other hand held the nape of your neck making sure to be able to have proper access to your mouth.

Jaebum felt nice against you. His mouth felt soft and his broad frame towered over you, making you feel small and protected, however, he didn’t feel as nice as Mark. Mark’s body felt like home to you in every way. The way his lips seemed to fit perfectly with yours, the way his body pressed against yours and moulded to your curves like a puzzle.

Your eyes snapped open and you set your hands on his chest, pushing him away. Even if he was just kissing you it felt, really wrong.

“Y/N what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he questioned.

You smiled, “No everything is fine, you’re fine. It’s just I feel like I’m only using you for revenge or even a distraction even though that doesn’t make much sense”. You looked up at him before he pressed his forehead your own.

“I’m fine being your distraction, or your object of revenge sex” he replied, “I know your whole situation with Mark”.

You raised your brows waiting for him to further explain.

“He..” Jaebum cocked his head as if trying to choose his words carefully. “He was somewhat stressed and told me about it, stayed in his room most of the time and other times he was.. yelling at me”

“So you guys fought?” you concluded.

“Well I guess you could call it that”

You shook your head and were about to ask another question before Jaebum was torn away from you and Mark stood in front of you instead.

“Y/N, what are you doing with Jaebum? You didn’t want to be with me so you could be with him I’m guessing?”

“What? Mark, why do you even care? I don’t really owe you an explanation”.

He scoffed and grabbed your wrist pulling you upstairs, the eyes on you making you want to shrivel up and die. It wasn’t every day the most popular boy in school angrily pulled a quiet girl behind him.

He pulled you into a random room, shut and locked the door.

“Mark what the actual fuck are you doing”. You walked towards the door, but he stepped in the way and leant against the door.

Your fingers shook as you sighed and went to sit on the bed, it was getting scary and you didn’t know how to handle this.

“What were you doing with him?” He questioned.

You turned to look up at him in disbelief. “Why do you need to know Mark I really don’t understand”.

“Just fucking tell me Y/N”

“No”

“Why are you being like this? First a prude and then a liar? I should have listened to everyone who said you were probably a prude because of your typical good girl image”

A lump formed in your throat as you sat there and listened, but then it quickly turned into anger and before you could stop yourself, you stood up and opened your mouth.

“How the fuck am I a liar Mark, I’ve just decided that you didn’t need to know. Why would you need to know anyway? I’m just your ‘good, casual fuck’ remember? No feelings involved” you walked up to him and poked his chest, “It’s as if you think you own my body, that I’m not to be anyone else’s but yours, It’s as if you’re jealous you know? Isn’t being jealous something a lover would do?”.

You took a step back and took a breath in, his eyes were widened as he gazed at you. The silence made it seem like nothing else existed but you two, but you weren’t done.

“And to call me a fucking prude is ridiculous, you knew I was a virgin when you first came to me and I fucking gave myself to you!” the lump in your throat had dissolved and now your eyes were tearing up.

Mark stood there silently in front of you. It was like that for almost a minute before he said three words that shook your nerves.

“I love you”

You were about to accuse him of lying until he kept talking.

“I’ve loved you ever since I set my eyes on you. Watching you walk in the hallways was like a hobby to me, I- fuck I know I went about this the wrong way but I wasn’t known for having relationships and more for a hit and ditch. At first, I thought I was just attracted to you but, once I was finally with you I knew I was wrong. I should have stopped it then and there but I was so greedy for you”

“Mark I - “. Before you continued talking you looked at him. He was holding onto your arms and looking down at you with hopeful eyes.

“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your lips his arms came around you and pulled you towards him into a hug.

“Since when?”

You could practically hear his smile before you replied. “Ever since I moved to this stupid uni, but I don’t think I want to see you again for a while”

Mark tensed and slowly let go, immediately you missed the warmth and scent of him but then scolded yourself since you couldn’t let yourself be putty just from a simple hug.

“W-why? Y/N I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow”

“No Mark please, this relationship is already ruined and I don’t think we’re healthy for each other I mean, look where we are now and we’re not even in a relationship”

“Baby please, we can do this together. I love you and you love me, you bring the best out of me and I’m already ready to lay my entire life to support you. Please trust me, please trust us. I want to erase any doubts you have”

Your heart fluttered at his pet name but you calmly removed his hands and walked towards the door before he could grab you. You threw the door open and stepped out, however, you were yanked back and roughly pushed against the once again closed door.

“Y/N, if you think I'm going to let you go like that then please think again. I’m never going to let you go”

You shivered as his hand softly pulled your chin up to look at him. His eyes looked so warm up close that you wanted to melt then and there.

“I really want to show you how much I love you, how much I do value you and show you how much I want to change from being a player and someone who was too chicken to admit their love to someone who cherishes only you. Please let me show you”.

You looked down and thought about it. You knew you loved Mark so much, but you didn’t know if you could trust him to treat you right, you didn’t know if you two would continue to have fights as toxic as this, but then again, you didn’t know much of the future. So when he went down to reach your lips to kiss you, you let him. You were going to let him redeem himself to you.

---

You woke up in Mark’s bed the next morning, with his arm wrapped around you and your face on his chest. The two of you went back to his dorm after the situation had calmed down, he didn’t make any moves to have sex with you because he thought it would only prove himself wrong.

It was nice to just stay like this, the two of you sleeping together in bed after the two of you had become official, like the two of you had never experienced any hardships.

“Good morning Y/N”. Mark said, “that was the best sleep I’ve ever had in awhile”

You smiled and looked up. He looked so beautiful in the morning, with his hair a mess, voice rough and face lazy. It was a nice scene to see first thing in the morning.

“So what’s the plan for today Mark,” you said as you went to get up but found you couldn’t due to him holding you down close to him. Then he started tickling you and laughter dangerously bubbled up and erupted from your mouth. The more you thrashed around to get him off of you to more pressure he put on your body with his to hold you down. He finally stopped tickling you and answered your question.

“I was thinking of spending the day together and watching movies, what do you think?”

“That sounds perfect to me, now will you let me go”

“Hmmm, give me a kiss first”

You rolled your eyes pushed yourself so you were able to meet his lips and ended the kiss short to quickly get out of his grip once it loosened.

“Hey! That's cheating!” he exclaimed.

You giggled and went into his bathroom to freshen up. When you were done you opened the door to the scent of cooking pancakes. Mark stood there in front of the stove with his flannel cooking pancakes, while you stood around the corner watching him in his shirt.

The sight scared you to a certain extent, was it possible to adore someone so much just after they used you and then confessed so suddenly? Was it possible for everything to just fall into place after enduring the game of who could hide their feelings the best and who could jump the farthest when assuming each other's motives? You weren’t experienced in things like this, however, you were sure that time would solve everything.

“Breakfast is ready,” Mark told you as he turned around to see you watching, a small smirk on his face.

And so were you.

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mea cul·pa : a formal acknowledgement of personal fault or error

Part 1 - Part 2

First came the glances, after you moved to a new university.

Second came the smiles, after he had helped you move your remaining things into your dorm.

Third came the exchange of numbers, after he saw you eating lunch by yourself in the cafeteria.

Fourth came the worst of all after you agreed to something you shouldn’t have.

He wasn’t good for you, but you were drawn to him. You weren’t expecting it to turn out like this, but you had a good idea he did. Or did you?

“Y/N, are you coming tonight?” Your closest friend and dorm mate, Amy, questioned.

You bit your lip and sat down on your bed. It was the end of year celebrations and that meant Mark was definitely going to be at the party, however, you were trying your hardest to ignore him. One look at Amy’s pleading facial expression had you flopping the rest of your body on your bed and muttering a small, “Yeah sure” with which she squealed in response. 

As Amy began putting clothes together for her and yourself your thoughts naturally drifted to Mark. You both had never dated yet it felt like you both belonged to each other despite you two being polar opposites. Mark was loved by almost all the girls who attended your university, but you wouldn’t call him a womaniser due to his sweet and charming personality. Mark was more of a soft flirt, he knew he had a fair share of girls yet he never let it get to his head. 

You, on the other hand, wore skirts every day which expressed your habit of dressing prim, held your books in your hand and mostly ate alone. Boys would stare at you, but you assumed it was because you were weird and weren’t like the other popular girls who wore ripped jeans, shorts and midriffs, without a book in sight.

Mark definitely did sleep around and was confident but you noticed how he would lightly blush as you two would occasionally greet each other while walking through the halls. It was one of the things that made you fall in love, just like every other girl. Other than that, he had always seemed to notice you and in turn, you noticed him. 

In the cafeteria, he would glance at you, during literature he would gaze at you. When he offered to help you move your boxes you were more than surprised, he had looked even more beautiful close-up, much better than the far away glances you stole. The two of you didn’t talk though, but it seemed to be enough bonding to warrant a wave every time the two of you saw each other. 

You were ashamed to be his fuck buddy, so you never told anyone, not even Amy. You had never expected this to happen since you were always trying to lay low and stay on everyone’s good side. You remember when Mark called you 2 weeks after the two of you had exchanged numbers. 

It was almost 3 am and he was asking you to open the door. You frowned and opened the door as you hung up wondering what he could possibly want and mostly how he knew which dorm was yours.

As soon as you opened the door Marks hand cupped your face and his lips enveloped yours. He began to back you up towards your bed as the kiss became more heated once you accepted him and opened your mouth, the taste of whiskey mingling from his mouth into yours. Both of you hit the bed and he loomed over you with glistening lips.

“Y/N, do you really wear something as sexy as this to bed?” he muttered as he looked you over. Your body was only covered in a pale blue satin cami and shorts, you grew embarrassed but your mind was too clouded with lust and confusion to cover yourself up so you just looked up at him. 

Mark began speaking as he took his hood off, “I couldn’t ignore you any longer. All I can think about is you and how you would look underneath me.” 

Mark smirked as he went to take your top off and didn’t miss the way you stared at his chest, he continued speaking. “All your outfits are so cute”, he looked up “the short black flowy skirt and white blouse that was tucked in was my favourite”.

You frowned at this, you wore that almost three months ago. 

“Mark? Wh-” his lips captured yours again and his hands fondled your breasts before you could question his true motives.

His other hand slipped down into your panties and you let out a soft mewl into his mouth as he began to move his fingers against your clit. 

He looked up again and released your mouth.

“Before we begin I just want to clarify something”

He pushed a finger in and you dropped your mouth open, your eyes fluttering.

“No strings attached, just an occasional good fuck”

He pushed another finger in and this time you moaned, the pleasure managing to mask the heartbreak you felt, the pleasure managing to cloud your judgement and agree to his conditions.

If Amy hadn’t been at someone else’s house getting lucky rather than in your dorm, maybe it would have prevented you from getting unlucky. You scoffed.

Ever since then his presence taunted you. If the two of you ever sat next to each other his hand would lazily rest on your thigh. If you bumped into each other alone you would find yourself against a wall. All these displays of affection never occurred in public where people could easily see, it hurt your feelings yet for some reason you held on. 

You told yourself it was because the sex was good, but you knew you were just lying to yourself. You hadn’t left because although it was one-sided it felt like you were in a relationship with him. A sick relationship, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get any closer than this. So you stayed.

However only recently you snapped, seeing him on another girl caused you to really open your eyes and see how deep your hole exactly was. That same night he arrived at your door, you opened it telling him to fuck off, that you were done and that this wasn’t healthy. You still remember the tick of his jaw, his quick scan of your body and his tongue darting out to moisten his lips again before he muttered a “fine” and stormed off.

You sighed and sat up, the two of you went from having sex almost every second day to a whole three weeks without touching each other. You were having withdrawals. You memories of sweaty skin, his hands in your hair, both of your moans and the face he made when he came never left your mind. 

“Y/N, what do you think?” Amy said, bringing you out of your train of thought.

“Amy, there is no way I’m wearing that”

Amy looked up and cocked an eyebrow.

“Wait, never mind! they’re so beautiful, thank you for choosing this for me”

You snatched the clothes and walked into the bathroom. Amy was the sweetest person you knew but she could actually be really scary. Once you put on the black velvet two-piece you cringed at yourself in the mirror. The cropped top had spaghetti straps leaving your arms and upper stomach exposed and the skirt was unbelievably tight drawing unnecessary attention to your curves. 

You walked out of the bathroom about to protest but Amy was already dressed and she grabbed your arm to pull you out of the room.

“You look sexy, Y/N. It’s about time people see you strut your stuff”

“But Amy it’s like I’m naked!” 

“That’s the goal silly” she replied as she handed you black pumps which you put on shortly after.

“You know I’m not comfortable with this kind of stuff though”

“That’s why I want you to at least try, you’ve been moping around for so long and you need to try and stray from your comfort zone once in a while to get a taste of new things”

You threw your head back. You hated it when she made sense. Amy shook her head and walked around behind you to yank your hair out of the bun it was in.

“Amy what the hell!”

“How can you go there with your hair like this!” she sighed as she played with your hair.

“There, now your hair looks suggestive and inviting”