My artwork for @legionzine titled “First Lessons”

Prompt List

Somewhere, Mari knew that. 

It had felt like another fact of the universe, something she couldn’t change if she wanted to. Looking at it logically, however, it had been easy to ignore it. to look at her friend and tell herself that while she might have feelings for Ellie, Ellie didn’t return them. She’d never said it, so it stood to reason that she didn’t have them, at least to Mari’s mind. 

It had been easy to shove everything down, then. Not easy, exactly, but necessary certainly. Mari wouldn’t lose Ellie to foolish feelings and they had to pass, they just had to. The idea that Ellie had never considered them as anything other than lovers was boggling, and yet… not a surprise. Of course Ellie had.

Of course Ellie had decided they belonged to each other and Mari was the last person to know about it. It would be funny if it didn’t hurt to wonder at all the time wasted, wondering and moping over wishing it could be another way. It had apparently been that way all along and Mari never knew.

Ellie kissed her cheek, a sweet gesture of an apology for how Mari was crying. She wasn’t even sad, not really. Frustrated, certainly, but it felt more like exasperation and relief that she hadn’t been the only one to feel the earth move every time Ellie smiled at her. Ellie at least look sheepish for how this news was bothering Mari, but she was smiling and Mari couldn’t help smiling in return. There wasn’t much point in clinging to the want to have known sooner, she knew now. That was what mattered.