#marfacat

Everybody likes to portray Germany as like this responsible adult but the man is younger than AMERICA and was raised by PRUSSIA. I feel like he’s just super extra about everything

Prussia: Ludwig why are you holding a funeral in the backyard...?

Germany: *solemnly* It was the best shirt I ever had. 

Prussia: LUDDY WHY ARE YOU MICROWAVING RAW POTATOES 

Germany: Only the strong will not explode. It’s natural selection. 

Prussia: I’m back-- 

Germany: You were gone five minutes longer that you said you would be. You’re a failure and a disgrace to this household. I had to feed your dogs for you, and I finished all of your chores. You’re tearing this family apart.

America makes sims of the other nations and screws with them constantly.  

America *watching his sim of England die in a cooking fire for the 55th time* and yet you have the audacity to insult MY cuisine 

America *after six months of slowly and methodically ruining sim Russia’s life* you fool. You utter buffoon. Did I not warn you that you would be the architect of your own destruction? Perhaps, if you plead with me, I will grant you a coup de gras.

Oh, Italy likes to paint? Well now if he gets mad at someone he pulls a Michelangelo and paints them in hell!

Oh, Britain’s fond of his pirate days? Well now he ends ALL of his diplomatic presentations with ‘and the British Empire will rise again!’

America gets drunk at a bar, and pulls a drama queen routine where he’s all like ‘NOBODY LOVES ME!!1!’ Russia is also there, and drunk, and he movies on over and kind of awkwardly admits that no one loves him either. They end up having an impromptu drunk therapy session and wake up in a pile of scarves and self-help books.

Canada gets drunk and wakes up with somebody else’s blood on his fists drunk nations

England: has been waking up in the same ditch with a turkey leg since 1685 

France: accidentally starts a revolution and wakes up in prison 

Germany: wakes up in fishnet stockings and handcuffed to a potato with a silly face drawn on it 

Prussia: ALWAYS grabs the nearest person and decides to put them through drunk military training and wakes up in uniform with a traumatized human/nation huddled in the corner 

Japan: wakes up a pimp 

China: wakes up in one of his sibling’s houses, covered in glitter

Veneziano Italy: gets arrested for stealing tomatoes, but cannot find the tomatoes he stole 

Romano Italy: burned down the sausage factory 

Belarus: gets a tattoo that reads ‘make money get bitches’ 

I bet America accidentally slips into outdated slang sometimes (I’m pretty sure all nations do) but his is almost exclusively 50s America:

In the middle of a meeting on global warming, looking at the stats on display: jeepers creepers!!

America walking into a club: hot dog! Lookit all them cool cats! 

America has two modes when dealing with his fellow nations: shady government and sunshine puppy. There is no in-between. They’re both equally him and he can’t distinguish between the two. To everybody but the people dealing with him, it is absolutely hilarious.

America: *shows up to a diplomatic meeting in a frilly pink apron with apple pie* did you hear the new Britney Spears album???