#manxiety

thank u for reminding me i have cereal i can eat. im dedicating this bowl of coco pops to u

you can do this by watching it with your eyes

Think thirtysomething single women are the only ones stressed about their dwindling options for marriage and kids? Turns out, men are the new Carrie Bradshaws.

Are you someone who suffers from Introvertigo, who is also attracted to males? If so, you should be alerted to the fact that recent studies have indicated a high correlation between being afflicted with Introvertigo and having Manxiety.

Manxiety is a condition typified by an overwhelming wave of distress and tension that engulfs you whenever you are near a man to whom you feel attracted. Symptoms include spontaneous sweating, clumsinesses both physical and mental, and a certain nebulous weirdness that will prompt people around you to say things like 'what's wrong? Stop acting so creepy.' 

Occasionally, Manxiety comes in an especially vicious, debilitating strain wherein the feelings of illness are brought on simply by the mere thought of a man. You could be, for example, sitting down to a nice farm-to-table dinner with an out-of-town friend when you look at the menu and see a dish that you once saw a particular man order at another restaurant several weeks ago. Your friend is telling a very interesting story, but you don't hear a word of it because a very loud internal monologue has arisen inside your brain that says only: "BBQ Pork Sandwich, Steven, BBQ Pork Sandwich, Steven, BBQ Pork Sandwich, Steven." Then your friend gets upset because why aren't you listening to her thoughts on genocide? When you answer her with "BBQ Pork Sandwich," it doesn't even make any sense.

Manxiety is not believed to pose any immediate fatal threats, but as it has only recently been recognized as a disease, very little research has been done on long-term health effects. However, initial findings indicate that Manxiety could be a leading factor in broken heart disease. If you find yourself experiencing one or more symptoms, check with your bloctor (blog doctor) to find out if you might be beset by Manxiety.