Well,

being OCpilled is so fucking mortifying honestly. like oh... yeah..... heres my guy. i invented him. i can't think about anything else except for him this week. but he isn't cool or anything. he actually sucks. im just ill.

the funniest thing about the whole sticking a knife/metal utensil in the toaster thing is that you can go your whole life being told not to do it & even laugh at the idea of anyone doing it but as soon as your toast gets stuck & there's a knife sitting there on the counter your first most basic tool-problem-solving-creature thought is Still "I should stick that knife in there and get it out"

(translated from Wood Pigeon): "You see, children, all the other birds have gone quiet as the eclipse goes on..."

big tshirt that says MY INTERPRETATIONS MUST HAVE A STRONG BASIS IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL on the front and THIS IS FUN TO ME on the back

christopher nolan shakespeare would be like “our much ado has been about nothing”

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

asked a student what their favorite animal was today and they said “a cheetah AND a sloth” and I said “wow smart, you’ve got both ends of the speed spectrum covered!” and they looked at me like I was the only sensible adult they’d ever spoken to

[image description: screenshot of text reading: i am so tired of absolutely 'head empty, vibes only' style of writing genre fiction. i'm sure the pinterest board for this was lovely. /end description]

The author must have been eating woodland salad, candied acorns, turnip pie, plum-cakes, bilberry tarts, arrowroot shortbread, and glazed maple shoots, and drinking flagons of October ale and raspberry cordial when they wrote this