#mama stuff

I especially love her hugs, her giggles, and even the way she reaches up and grabs my nose, digging into the flesh with her fingernails that are way too long for someone as little as she is.

Or when I slam my foot against a cabinet door and hop around on one foot, listing off various flowers/trees/plants/weapons instead of the “OW FUCK OW OW OW OW OW” because she’s right there, in earshot, laughing her head off because she thinks I’m ‘dancing’

But seriously

I adore this kid.

She runs up while I’m doing the dishes and gives my leg a giant hug. 

Her eyes are so blue.

And cuddling her is my all-time favorite thing to do. Ever.

Hopefully we can keep our weekend plans on the calendar and life will feel slightly more regular and manageable.

Yesterday evening, I made marinara sauce. The babe was in his highchair, placed nearby me in the kitchen. He watched me intently as I chopped the onion and garlic, poured the olive oil, added the tomatoes, and seasoned the sauce. I let him taste the marinara as we went along and he smacked his lips, spreading the bright red around his mouth in a cute little mess. He liked it!

We prepared broccoli for roasting, cooked some penne, and played with all sorts of tastes and textures. It was just beautiful. And joyful.

I was so surprised as how quickly he had knocked me up. Standing in the bathroom alone, I just stared at the darkened line after it appeared in less than 30 seconds, my eyes wide and my heart pounding. I had never had the chance to get my period after stopping birth control…it had happened right away. Merry Christmas indeed!

After five minutes had elapsed, and the result remained steadfast, I ventured out to show my Husband in shocked awe. He picked me up in a jubilant hug and spun me around in the air. He kissed me and grinned, thrilled.

I held my belly, flat as usual, where I had felt a growing heaviness and strangeness for the last few days. A tiny little sesame seed had begun to grow and my body had started to prepare.