Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
So one of the bits of D&Discourse I find popping up perennially is the âhit points are unrealisticâ thing. Or, at the least, that they shouldnât represent actual wounds, but instead more of a fatigue/morale abstraction. Combat actually consists of each participant taking repeated sword blows to their body, while they shrug it off & keep fighting, only to then recover with simple rest or a healing potion? Nonsense. Ridiculous.
But if you read old chivalric romance â Chretien, Malory, the undiagnosed author who wrote Perlesvaus â thatâs absolutely how knights carry on. Regularly you get descriptions of combat that involve Sir Protagonist and Sir Encounter dâRandom fighting ankle-deep in their own blood for like an entire afternoon. Then they go rest in a hermitage until theyâre better or â more often than youâd expect â are healed on the spot with Unspecified Ointment. Which is still ridiculous, but itâs ridiculous with a literary pedigree now.
The ointment is usually depicted as rarer than your D&D-style ten-for-a-platinum healing potion, but itâs there. The healing through rest isnât as handwave-y: itâs usually weeks, not overnight, and the text generally does imply that the hermit or whoever is treating their wounds, not just letting them crash in a spare bed. (Though the fact that itâs often a hermit also gives credence to the âclerical healingâ thing.) And there are instances of an injured knight later succumbing to his wounds despite the rest, so you know. Itâs not quite as abstracted as D&D healing, but the bones are very familiar.
Which leads me to my proposal for a fantasy TTRPG mechanic: hit points are real, but only if youâre a knight. Along with the title & the fief & the obligation of fealty, you also get a new box on your character sheet that makes combat work differently for you now.
What Agravaine and Dinadan have going on in Book 10 Chapter 25 of Malory is unparalleledâ (the world's longest post oh my GOD it didn't look so long while I was writing it)
First off, consider that they are both: known for their witty rudeness, their poeticism and cutting jokes and quick tongues š, their perceived unknightly values ², their knowledge of the private business of their fellows (to the point of spying on them in secret) Âł, and their conscious use of rumor and reputation to influence how others are seenâ´â only, Agravaine is censured for it, and Dinadan is universally beloved at court, except by Agravaine himself âľ.
The heel-turn that happens in Malory with Agravaine & Mordred being suddenly villains happens in one chapter while theyâre interacting with Dinadan specifically. It highlights the extent to which your reputationâ how the court perceives youâ shapes reality for a knight. A knight is only as good as his reputation. The way people speak of a knight is the only reality about that knight⌠whether or not itâs true. The series of events here is wild imho. Subtler readings of Malory seem few and far between but listen.
The frame of context here needs to start a couple of chapters before, in Chapter 11â Dinadan is traveling with King Mark (reluctantly).
âRight as they stood thus talking together they saw come riding to them over a plain six knights of the court of King Arthur, well armed at all points. And there by their shields Sir Dinadan knew them well. The first was the good knight Sir Uwaine, the son of King Uriens, the second was the noble knight Sir Brandiles, the third was Ozana le Cure Hardy, the fourth was Uwaine les Aventurous, the fifth was Sir Agravaine, the sixth Sir Mordred, brother to Sir Gawaine. When Sir Dinadan had seen these six knights he thought in himself he would bring King Mark by some wile to joust with one of them.â
He pretends theyâre enemies and charges toward them, lance out, so Mark will panic and flee, and thenâ
âSo when Sir Dinadan saw King Mark was gone, he set the spear out of the rest, and threw his shield upon his back, and came, riding to the fellowship of the Table Round. And anon Sir Uwaine knew Sir Dinadan, and welcomed him, and so did all his fellowship.â
Absolutely no beef with Agravaine and Mordred here. In fact, as we roll into Chapter 12:
âWill ye do well? said Sir Dinadan: I have told the Cornish knight that here is Sir Launcelot, and the Cornish knight asked me what shield he bare. Truly, I told him that he bare the same shield that Sir Mordred beareth. Will ye do well? said Sir Mordred; I am hurt and may not well bear my shield nor harness, and therefore put my shield and my harness upon Sir Dagonet, and let him set upon the Cornish knight. That shall be done, said Sir Dagonet, by my faith. Then anon was Dagonet armed him in Mordredâs harness and his shield, and he was set on a great horse, and a spear in his hand. Now, said Dagonet, shew me the knight, and I trow I shall bear him down.â
(Mordred is half-dead for like 70% of Arthuriana, poor kid)
So theyâre friends! More or less, anyway. At the least, they have overlapping friend groups, and, knowing who his options are, Mordred is specifically the one Dinadan chooses to bring into the prankâ he didnât know Dagonet was around, and though he might have known Mordred was too injured to do it himself, the prank still relied on Mordredâs willingness to give up his arms to someone else for the express purpose of scaring King Mark shitless.
But by Chapter 25, thoughâ their next appearance on the pageâ Dinadan wants nothing to do with them. This is, again, the wrestling heel turn wherein Agravaine and Mordred get the minor-key leitmotif etc, etc. Theyâre theoretically portrayed negatively here and hereafter, where before they were mostly⌠doing things like pranking King Mark. Thereâs a reason in the intervening chapters, but weâll get to that. Hereâs how the chapter opens:
âNow leave we of Sir Lamorak, and speak of Sir Gawaine's brethren, and specially of Sir Agravaine and Sir Mordred. As they rode on their adventures they met with a knight fleeing, sore wounded; and they asked him what tidings. Fair knights, said he, here cometh a knight after me that will slay me. With that came Sir Dinadan riding to them by adventure, but he would promise them no help.
But Sir Agravaine and Sir Mordred promised him to rescue him.â
Now thereâs an inauspicious start, if you want to say Agravaine and Mordred suckâ a stranger, badly wounded, fleeing from someone who wants him dead, and Dinadan says itâs none of his business. The honorable, knightly task of protecting a wounded man asking for aid from a murderous pursuer is taken up by Agravaine and Mordred. Unfortunately for them, this is one of those Breuse Saunce PitĂŠ stories where he rides across the scene for no reason except to beat the ever-loving hell out of whatever knight of midrange skill happens to be center stage at the time, for no reason beyond devoted and passionate rat bastardry (Thomas Malory, a knight during the War of the Roses: âdonât you just hate it when that one guy shows up to just make everything suck in your entire province as much as possible with no higher motivation other than YORKISTS GO TO HELL? I know I do! Except when I am that guy, of course!â Thanks Tom.). So he yells his own name whilst obliterating Agravaine and Mordred with utterly unnecessary cruelty, to make sure they know who did it (gee, thanks).
Now, we donât yet have any cause to think Dinadan and Agravaine & Mordred have had a major falling outâ Dinadan has been previously established to not fight when the moon isnât in the right lunar mansion to make him feel like it today, etc, and heâs abandoned people to handle things for him before without it stemming from ill will, but it does seem to take quite a bit to get him to concede to helpâ it seems like more than would usually be the caseâ
âAnd yet he rode over Agravaine five or six times. When Dinadan saw this, he must needs joust with him for shame.â
Agravaine is on the ground, being trampled over five or six times by a loudly gloating Breuse Saunce PitĂŠ, before Dinadan determines it will, in fact, reflect badly on him if he doesnât do SOMETHING. He unseats Breuse successfully (âwith pure strengthâ okay go off Dinadan. You couldâve lead with that tho.), who then grabs his horse again and skips town without pursuit. Breuse, as he leaves, is described as âa great destroyer of all good knights.â Paragraph end.
Now we get into the meat of this episode, starting with the immediate following sentence.
âThen rode Sir Dinadan unto Sir Mordred and unto Sir Agravaine. Sir knight, said they all, well have ye done, and well have ye revenged us, wherefore we pray you tell us your name. Fair sirs, ye ought to know my name, the which is called Sir Dinadan. When they understood that it was Dinadan they were more wroth than they were before, for they hated him out of measure because of Sir Lamorak. For Dinadan had such a custom that he loved all good knights that were valiant, and he hated all those that were destroyers of good knights. And there were none that hated Dinadan but those that ever were called murderers.â
At a glance, it scans as good sense. But thenâ why is it that Dinadanâs feelings about them arenât mentioned, just theirs about him? It seems surprising that they hate him more than he hates themâ and Breuse was JUST identified as meeting the precise description of what Dinadan hates, but Dinadan didnât seem overenthused to act against him. And whatâs up with the specific framing of ânone that hated Dinadan but those that ever were called murderersâ? Not âonly murderersâ?
And, more importantly, didnât this chapter start with âNow we leave of Sir Lamorakâ??
Because, of course, Lamorak isnât dead. Heâs fine. The intervening chapters involved Gaherisâs killing of their mother in bed with Lamorak, Gaheris admitting that he and Gawain (specifically and exclusivelyâ where was Agravaine, while weâre at it?) killed Pellinore to avenge their father, and telling Lamorak that it wouldnât be right to kill him like this so just watch out but heâs not going to touch him right then but like watch out!! Gaheris has issues but thatâs okay. Lamorak also threatened him right back with blood feuding, for his part, saying his own fatherâs death was as yet unavenged on the Orkney clan. (Never 4get that Maloryâs Lamorak is offered a blood price by Arthur to mediate the feud and refuses it, saying heâs not done feuding yet. Play stupid games, my guyâ)
But this leaves a big olâ gap in the logic here. Agravaine and Mordred have never murdered anyone. Agravaine and Mordred have never destroyed any good knights. Why do they hate Dinadan so intensely on Lamorakâs account? They hated Lamorak the whole time, and Dinadan was clearly never on their side about it. Why doesâ
I would say again, âAnd there were none that hated Dinadan but those that ever were called murderers.â Heâs known to be close only with good knights, and heâs befriended Lamorak. Heâs known to hate people that act against good knights. And if you dislike him, it reflects badly on your reputationâ maybe inherently (if you came into my house and said âhey I hate your catâ I would not like you ever, which is probably how Tristan at least feels) but this is also the guy who wrote that mean song about King Mark to ruin his reputation and humiliate him and had it taught to a bunch of people who were then sent out to perform it across Markâs lands. With Arthurâs explicit approval, tooâ which makes it a political act of lowkey espionage, which is wild and very sexy of him (also one of the foundational elements of my âGeralt of Rivia is a purposeful adaptation Tristanâ rant but we donât have time for that right now). He doesnât have a reputation for gossip, but heâs very clearly not unaware of how influencing peopleâs reputations works. Everyone loves him, and anyone who hates him is publicly maligned in image as a murderer. Or do people only hate him if heâs maligned them that way? Is that something he does? It would explain why it doesnât seem to apply to Agravaine and Mordred on a practical level, in spite of their explicit hatred of him.
But he was friends with them! Recently! And they havenât killed anyone or been implicated in any deaths (Gaheris, as I mentioned, confessed that he and Gawain killed Pellinore to Lamorak, but Agravaine isnât part of that, and Mordred was like 12 and per Malory in a fishing village in BFE presumably at the time). Howeverâ Gaheris certainly has. Lamorak has been telling everyone about Gaheris killing Morgause. Everyone is explicitly talking about it at court.
If Dinadan is prone to that sort of thingâ leveraging his influence and significant skill with public opinion against those he thinks have done serious wrongâ heâs likely been smearing Gaheris publicly in solidarity with Lamorak.
And, quite frankly, going after Agravaine and Mordredâs brother is the only thing that would make them madder than going after them.
But we left off mid-paragraph there, in fact:
âThen spake the hurt knight that Breuse Saunce PitĂŠ had chased, his name was Dalan, and said: If thou be Dinadan thou slewest my father. It may well be so, said Dinadan, but then it was in my defence and at his request. By my head, said Dalan, thou shalt die therefore, and therewith he dressed his spear and his shield. And to make the shorter tale, Sir Dinadan smote him down off his horse, that his neck was nigh broken. And in the same wise he smote Sir Mordred and Sir Agravaine.
And after, in the quest of the Sangreal, cowardly and feloniously they slew Dinadan, the which was great damage, for he was a great bourder and a passing good knight.â
Holy shit. What the hell. For one thing that escalated extremely quickly. For another thing all three of these people are half-dead already Jesus Christ everyone chill. But alsoâ
The entire idea of Agravaine and Mordred being murderers ties into their blood feud to avenge their father.
Malory doesnât touch on Dinadanâs adjacency to it, but we know his brother Brunor (that Knight of the Hideously Cut Jacket, who I briefly imagine as David Byrne in a great helm whenever I think of him) for his sartorially-signified revenge questâ Dinadanâs father was murdered, which probably has something to do with his hatred of destroyers of good knights/murderers. So itâs wrongfully-slain fathers all the way down, and then this wounded knightâ that Dinadan initially refused to aid in escaping being murdered by Breuseâ suddenly interjects to accuse Dinadan himself of wrongfully slaying HIS father! Weâve never seen Dalan before and we never see him again, but I think this specific interjection can be read as doing some absolutely insane heavy-lifting for this scene.
Itâs not uncommon in medieval writing for a sort of moral predestination to hang over everyoneâ saying that Agravaine and Mordred hate Dinadan, only murderers hate Dinadan, and then that they go on to murder Dinadan could all be viewed as a fulfillment of the middle statementâ they ARE murderers, even if they hadnât killed anyone yet, so the statement is true! Except for Dalanâs outburst.
This guy was badly injured and fleeing from Breuse, knowing he wasnât strong enough to face him. Dinadan unseated Breuse in front of Dalan, and the guy isnât getting any less injuredâ and yet Dalan hates Dinadan so much and holds him so accountable for the same wrongdoing Dinadan himself hates that he challenges him anyway, in spite of being injured, in spite of Dinadan having defeated in a joust someone who had been strong enough to defeat Dalan in the first place. And avenging a wrongful death, as an act, isnât inherently censured in Maloryâ Dinadanâs brother does so offscreen, but itâs acknowledged as a noble thing that he succeeds in his quest to avenge his fatherâs murder. If you challenge someone honestly, even being incorrect about your accusations towards them doesnât make it dishonorable of you (thatâs how half of these idiots make friends, after all). So whether or not heâs wrong in blaming Dinadan for it, he is HARDLY implied to be a murdererâ which means that right in between âOnly people who get called murderers hate Dinadanâ and âAgravaine and Mordred DO murder Dinadan later btwââ thereâs a brief exchange that establishes that what the narration has presented as a factâ only people who are called murderers hate Dinadanâ is NOT TRUE. Dalan hates Dinadan, and isnât a murdererâ in fact, he may think Dinadan is one. Whatâs been said about Agravaine and Mordred isnât trueâ even if it becomes so, it didnât have to.
What does that mean for the rest ofâ well, the entire narrative? For one thing, we can to some degree tie this disproving back to the lead-in of Dinadan having this particular âcustomââ itâs not an actual fact, itâs just something presented as fact, believed to be factâ something that affects the realities of a knightâs life and knighthood as if it were fact, even though it isnât.
Whether or not you take it as authorial intention doesnât really matterâ Malory is SO interesting if you take your cue from this series of escalating sentence-by-sentence underminings (Dinadan wonât help a stranger but Agravaine & Mordred willâ but theyâre morally corrupt and he isnât; Breuse is a renowned destroyer of good knights and was announcing his presence like a PokĂŠmonâ thatâs the exact thing that Dinadan hates most which is the cause of his beef with Agravaine & Mordred, but he didnât want to get involved in fighting the guy; everyone who hates Dinadan is a morally bad personâ except this other guy whoâs right here currently too). The narration is NOT objectively giving you the truthâ the narration is giving you what is ACCEPTED AS TRUTH by the court, by society at large, what will be remembered, because a knight is only as good, only as strong, only as virtuous, only as accomplished, as the stories told of himâ only guilty of the crimes people gossip on, but guilty of the ones believed, whether or not theyâre true. The narrative is influenced by what is and isnât known, by whatâs hidden and revealed to the world. It makes for an incredibly fun and good reading of Malory throughout!
And thereâs a lot of room to say, too, that it makes Agravaine and Dinadan insane narrative foils, because any which way you think to develop and expand on Agravaineâs motivations and desires in Malory, Dinadan is doing something similar to great affection, approval, and acclaimâ where Agravaine receives disapproval, approbation, and⌠nothing else. Agravaine is âever open-mouthedâ, waiting âevery night and dayâ to root out Lancelotâs secretsâ when he succeeds, Arthur blames him after his death for what comes to pass, even though he was right and what he uncovered was true. Itâs Dinadanâs âmanner to be privy with all good knightsâ, so he reads Lancelotâs mail while heâs sleeping, and Lancelot is glad of it, and lets him help. Agravaine is manipulative, Dinadan has influence with his friends. Agravaine, who values his honor greatly, is dishonored for it as vengeful and jealous. Dinadan, who is careless of his own honor, never bruises it with anything he does. Agravaine is considered resentful and ungracious to others, Dinadan is a beloved jokester who harangues his friends with affectionate invective to cheer them up.áľ Dinadan is what Agravaine isnât allowed to beâ and yet heâs a version of it that Agravaine has no desire to be, someone who doesnât fit in the knightly mold, who isnât respected the way he wants to be respected, someone reliant on the aid and influence of friends, someone who laughs first at himself, at his own lack of honor. To be envied and yet also to be disdained, to Agravaineâs sensibilities, and to Dinadanâs thereâs nothing that Agravaine would criticize he cares about.
And yetâ they were friends, too. And what ruined that friendship may well have been the same desire that killed Agravaine in the endâ the desire to see that a position of privilege at court didnât protect a knight whoâd done wrong from the truth being known, or from facing the repercussions of his guilt and shameâ only it was Dinadan who was repeating the gossip, Dinadan exposing the wrong, and Dinadan died for it, too, just as much as Agravaine would later. And in both their cases, their claims were never fully proven, except in the acts of their own deaths.
But can you IMAGINE the incredible amount of dirt they mustâve dug up between the two of them, before they both got killed by their shared streak of weird, stubborn justice, one by the otherâs hand? Can you imagine how utterly fatally theyâd be capable of roasting you into a charcoal brick by their powers combined? Can you imagine how terminally nasty theyâd be if they were fighting, and how annoying theyâd be if they werenât and they got in your business? What an insane combination, what a silhouette of deeper characterization in the negative space that isnât addressed!!áľ It has so many potential implications for the narrative overall and their significance in it as arbiters of social thought and public opinion.
š ² Âł â´ âľ
1.âno good qualities except his beauty, his chivalry, and his quick tongueâ, as the Vulgate describes Agravaine (quotes that made my wife say out loud, âwhat else is there?!â), plus that one translatorâs note about the idiomatic and metaphorical way he speaksâ Dinadan is constantly described that wayâ âRight so came Dinadan, and mocked and japed with King Bagdemagus that all knights laughed at him, for he was a fine japer, and well loving all good knights.â etc etc. heâs a fucking bard who wrote the hardest diss track of all time (see footnote 4). Also sends his gay friend groupâ˘ď¸ (Lancelot, Galehault, Dinadan, and Guinevere) into hysterics with his potshots at Lancelot and Galehault at a tournament dinner. More on that later.
2. Agravaine is known for being extremely jealous, petty, a bad sport and a gossip, dishonorable and vengeableâ Dinadan ONLY fights when he feels like it⌠'
âAnd at the first recounter, said Sir Kay, he smote me down from my horse and hurt me passing sore; and when my fellow, Sir Dinadan, saw me smitten down and hurt he would not revenge me, but fled from me; and thus he departed.â (Heâs literally present while Kay is saying this like đ¤ˇââď¸ ya)
âSo on the morn Sir Dinadan rode unto the court of King Arthur; and by the way as he rode he saw where stood an errant knight, and made him ready for to joust. Not so, said Dinadan, for I have no will to joust. With me shall ye joust, said the knight, or that ye pass this way. Whether ask ye jousts, by love or by hate? The knight answered: Wit ye well I ask it for love, and not for hate. It may well be so, said Sir Dinadan, but ye proffer me hard love when ye will joust with me with a sharp spear. But, fair knight, said Sir Dinadan, sith ye will joust with me, meet with me in the court of King Arthur, and there shall I joust with you. Well, said the knight, sith ye will not joust with me, I pray you tell me your name. Sir knight, said he, my name is Sir Dinadan. Ah, said the knight, full well know I you for a good knight and a gentle, and wit you well I love you heartily. Then shall there be no jousts, said Dinadan, betwixt us.â (I just fucking love this exchange. He really said âis your challenge from love or from hate? Oh from LOVE? Wow okay well thatâs some kinda love coming at me with a LANCE :(â like babygirl why are you a knight.)
Also openly refuses to fight or runs away from combat when traveling with Tristan, when traveling with Mark, when traveling alone (the chapter in question, at first) when traveling with Tristan again, etc, and never denies this
Hates when knights fight for women and thinks itâs stupid. âFor such a foolish knight as ye are, said Sir Dinadan, I saw but late this day lying by a well, and he fared as he slept; and there he lay like a fool grinning, and would not speak, and his shield lay by him, and his horse stood by him; and well I wot he was a lover. Ah, fair sir, said Sir Tristram are ye not a lover? Mary, fie on that craft! said Sir Dinadan. That is evil said, said Sir Tristram, for a knight may never be of prowess but if he be a lover. It is well said, said Sir Dinadan; now tell me your name, sith ye be a lover, or else I shall do battle with you.â Tristan promptly tells Isolde about this later and she gives him endless shit for it.
His exchange with Isolde abt it is very funny. Heâs a fruitcake. âNow I pray you, said La Beale Isoud, tell me will you fight for my love with three knights that do me great wrong? and insomuch as ye be a knight of King Arthur's I require you to do battle for me. Then Sir Dinadan said: I shall say you ye be as fair a lady as ever I saw any, and much fairer than is my lady Queen Guenever, but wit ye well at one word, I will not fight for you with three knights, Jesu defend me. Then Isoud laughed, and had good game at him.â Yâknow that song in the Oliver Twist musical where theyâre trying to teach Oliver the concept of chivalry? That never happened for Dinadan and now heâs like this.
Lies all the time for no reason? Presumably itâs for The Bitâ˘ď¸ most times bc he LOVES jokes and pranks. Tristan ropes him into lying to Palamedes uhh hang on let me count in my head. Four? At least four times.
Basically Dinadan took a knightly oath the way other people agree to Terms & Conditions. He knows this abt himself. (See footnote 5)
3. Okay we know about Agravaine but UH âAnd so privily she sent the letter unto Sir Launcelot. And when he wist the intent of the letter he was so wroth that he laid him down on his bed to sleep, whereof Sir Dinadan was ware, for it was his manner to be privy with all good knights. And as Sir Launcelot slept he stole the letter out of his hand, and read it word by word.â DINADAN WHAT THE HELL? Agravaine and Dinadan were out here bumping into each other surveilling Lancelotâs fuckjgn bedroom I GUESS no wonder Agravaine killed Dinadan later awkwarddd
4. Agravaine is âever open-mouthedâ repeating gossip and spreading rumors to put pressure on Lancelot and Guinevere at court before he resorts to telling his uncle; Dinadan is imho implied by this chapter to be part of the reason Agravaineâs reputation fully tanks (also a gossip) but thereâs also the lay he writes to humiliate King Mark and teaches to people to perform throughout Cornwall to ruin him: âAnd when Dinadan understood all, he said: This is my counsel: set you right nought by these threats, for King Mark is so villainous, that by fair speech shall never man get of him. But ye shall see what I shall do; I will make a lay for him, and when it is made I shall make an harper to sing it afore him. So anon he went and made it, and taught it an harper that hight Eliot. And when he could it, he taught it to many harpers. And so by the will of Sir Launcelot, and of Arthur, the harpers went straight into Wales, and into Cornwall, to sing the lay that Sir Dinadan made by King Mark, the which was the worst lay that ever harper sang with harp or with any other instruments.â (âAnd when Sir Tristram heard it, he said: O Lord Jesu, that Dinadan can make wonderly well and ill, thereas it shall be.âSo true man. What a track.)
Also Dinadan once manipulatively provokes, mocks, belittles, and sneers at Tristan to get him really angry, because heâs letting someone else win a tournament and running support, basicallyâ so Dinadan takes it upon himself to talk incredibly mad shit at him until he gets angry enough to stop being helpful and start fighting properly.
5. This is the chapter where we start to hear about the extent of Agravaineâs censure for his perceived dishonorable traits. As for Dinadan:
âand all the court was glad of Sir Dinadan, for he was gentle, wise, and courteous, and a good knight.â
âSir, said Dinadan, wherefore be ye angry? discover your heart to me: forsooth ye wot well I owe you good will, howbeit I am a poor knight and a servitor unto you and to all good knights. For though I be not of worship myself I love all those that be of worship. It is truth, said Sir Launcelot, ye are a trusty knight, and for great trust I will shew you my counsel.â <â also this is when Lancelot just woke up from his angry nap and Dinadan is just. There. Having read his private secret letter from the Queen. But itâs fine for some reason I fucking guess!! Idk!! Starfucker extraordinaire Sir âPersonal Key to Lancelotâs Bedroomâ âDoesnât Fight His Own Battles But His Friends Will For Him <3â Dinadan like. Agravaine experiencing heretofore unknown levels of gay homophobia. And heâs right.
a. Even adaptations love to make Agravaine Experience Homophobiaâ˘ď¸ but rarely Dinadan, who habitually âlies withâ, and âmakes great joy ofâ in their beds overnight, his personal ranking of the top three strongest knights of the Round Table at any given time (âat any given timeâ meaning that he promptly does that to Palamedes as he takes spot #3 when Lamorak kicks itâ presumably the secret reason he dies on the Grail Quest is bc he needs to get dick on the reg from the strongest knights in the world to survive and Galahad categorically does not fuck. RIP to a legend), loudly disdains romantic relationships with women, and is pranked on the page by Galehault and Lancelot for being unmanly or effete and afraid of womenâ by being knocked off his horse on the tourney field by Lancelot in a dress, carried off into the woods, stripped to his underoos, tussled into a dress himself, and paraded through the tourney field and then the hall at dinner in it (Always Sunny title card Lancelot Commits a Hate Crime. Wildass anecdote. Bet a night out on the town with Tom Malory was a HOOT. Guinevere canonically laughs so hard at this she falls over.)
b. Anyway this is why theyâre an insane and compelling ship also. I rest my case. This is actually also the introductory post to a piece of fanfiction Iâll put somewhere later in which I used a shortened ballade form taking inspiration and structure from The Flyting of Dunbar and Kennedie to write Agravaine and Dinadan having a flyting competition. Yâknow, real normal shit.
i just read the part where malory is telling blue about how gansey used to be before and the way his outbursts over the hornet death thing were described reminded me so much of noah in the second book re-enacting his own death
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
i have reached the stage of researching Arthurian literature where i needed an entire shelf.
what began as:
âi should probably read a few source textsâ
has somehow evolved into:
* medieval Welsh material
* Marie de France
* ChrĂŠtien de Troyes
* Malory
* Tennyson
* Tolkien
* approximately seventeen different versions of the same story told by increasingly dramatic people over the course of a thousand years
every time i think i understand something i discover another knight, another manuscript, another cursed family tree, another prophecy, another Morgan, another Gawain, and at least three more people claiming descent from Troy.
the funniest part is that i started this because i wanted background information for a story.
the story has not become less complicated.
i have simply become better informed about exactly how complicated it is.
anyway the Arthuriana shelf now lives above where my desk is soon to go so i can look up while writing and be judged simultaneously by medieval poets, Victorian poets, Tolkien, and Sir Thomas Malory.