#malf

“Just uh, go really fast!”

     I scribbled up a Harry Potter edition MASH game, and used my answers as the prompt for this post. My answers were Draco, Mansion, Fluffy, and shop owner. This is what my imagination did with this information... 

It was a particularly dark day, but that was to be expected when it’s the middle of April in England. I couldn’t help but race the raindrops on the window, as they fell. My back had gone numb, as I’d been sitting in the same spot, by the same window, since I got home at noon.

…

I had woke up straight from a PTSD nightmare, of a scene I was involved in when I was around fourteen. It was the day, my mom slapped me in the face, right before I got on the train for school. In which case, I wouldn’t see her again until Christmas.

I sat up straight out of bed, with the same nerves I had the second her hand hit my cheek. Shaking fingers, a racing heart, and sweat droplets lining my forehead, I pulled myself from my not-so-dreamy state. The rain hadn’t begun yet, but the sky already seemed rather dreary.

The clock read 9:13 am, and as usual I headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I became a coffee drinker at the mere age of 16. It was my go-to, to keep me going through the toughest part of my life. I carried it with me to adulthood.

Four of my five fingers took turns tapping my finger prints against the table top. In order, from my pinky to my index finger, while my thumb sat there stabilizing them. I sipped my coffee through dry lips. My face still felt swollen, as though I hadn’t seen sleep for four months. I mean, this wasn’t entirely wrong. I lifted my eyes from my coffee mug to the phone, in the hallway. I have never heard it ring… ever. I can’t believe I’ve been living here for four months, and no one’s called me. Not even Crabbe or Goyle. To be fair, I haven’t really reached out to any one since moving in.

I inherited one of the Malfoy manors when my uncle passed, in December. It’s still filled with all his things. He lived alone, and sold bewitched muggle artefacts straight out of the foyer, much like the rest of my family. I’ve distanced myself from most of them, in honor of my mental state. After the battle of Hogwarts, I went straight to therapy and have been there ever since.

It took me three years to realize my situation wasn’t the greatest. I guess I was brought up to believe if you could pay your bills, and have extra left over, then you needn’t complain. I was never taught to take care of my mind. After about a year and a half passed, my relationship with EVERYONE slowly but surely deteriorated. I’ve only talked lightly to my parents, as I transitioned from their roof to this one.

A lot’s happened inside my brain since then. I’ve began using poetry and famous literature to subside the pain. This was my Slytherin shining through. My uncle had quite the collection going, in his book room. It reminded me of a smaller version of the Hogwarts library. Loads of history on famous wizards, spells, potions, poetry, and even muggle fiction. I’ve also took over his garden. He had quite the abundance of herbs, as well. I’m thinking about buying a place in Diagon Alley, and selling them. You see, cutting ties with my family the way that I’ve been, is sure to decrease my income. And I’m just slightly over sneaking around, and selling illegal objects from my home. There’s a peacefulness that comes with the idea that you have nothing to hide.

…

               I took a cabbie to London, to meet my therapist at 10:30. Recently, I’ve been overly disconnected. I find myself lost in a daze, replaying events from my childhood. She said it’s normal for complex cases of PTSD. Talking about it helps, or at least it’s supposed to. My therapist has this way of swimming straight to the darkest depths of my brain, and showing me memories I buried there, LONG ago. Although, each weekly session knocks me down for the remainder of the six days left in the week, I do feel my head becoming easier to carry.

I guess I just miss my friends, and kind of my parents. I’m supposed to forgive them for their ways even though, they never apologized. I just feel shameful, because I, too, feel like I have things to apologize for. I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s also hard, when I feel like they are still living in their old ways, and just because I’ve found a path out of illegal activity, doesn’t mean they want to.

They also kind of make me feel dumb for living the way that I am. My dad even said I’ve brought shame to the family name, as they’ve given me everything, and the way that I repay them is “seeking help, like some sort of peasant”. If asking for help, makes me a peasant than so be it. I couldn’t open my mouth before, without exploding on someone, about something that was never ignited. Although, I lead a quieter life now, my chest doesn’t hurt as much.

…

Therapy sped by, and was mostly silent on my part, as I said earlier, I’m pretty disconnected right now. Not much to say, when my mind isn’t all there to begin with.

As I opened the heavy door, I was greeted by immediate brightness and thick rain. If the breeze hadn’t been so pleasantly cool, I would have pretended I was dying. I find myself thinking about death a lot. But it’s apparently “normal”, when you’ve encountered the things that I have. According to the plan my therapist has made, those dark thoughts will decrease as I talk through them. It just feels like to me, that they’ve increased… a lot.

I opened my dark green umbrella, and ventured down the sidewalk. Old thoughts from school flooded my brain. Almost all of my peers were already married and having children. Here I am almost 21, and just living off the same wealth, I’ve had since I was young. I’m constantly reminded by my therapist that I’m still pretty young, and have lots of love to give. But honestly, FUCK LOVE…

 and then I caught a glimpse of him. It was a fat, grey dog, with three heads. As soon as my eyes landed on it, it had taken a sharp turn down an alley. I followed closely behind, almost catching up to it, but then it hopped through the brick wall. I ran over to the area, that it disappeared in. I drew my wand and tapped on the bricks. Nothing. I crouched down and examined my surroundings. I didn’t know there was a wizard portal here. Then I noticed the transparent air shaking, as though there was something under it. It can’t be…

I lowered myself to it’s level, and reached into the air, hoping to pull off whatever invisibility device this pup was using. To my expectations and slight surprise, I could feel the creature underneath my hand, it was just… invisible. A few seconds later, it’s transparency faded and against the wall, was a shaking very small but plump three headed dog. The school’s old gamekeeper owned one. Her name was Fluffy and she guarded some of Hogwarts most valuable secrets. Only, that one was the size of a small building. This one was the size of a baby bear.

“Are you alright?” I made my voice small enough to fit the tiny creature.. All three of it’s heads, flinched as if I was going to hit it… them. “I’m not going to hurt you”, I meant, I’ve not been around a dog since at least five years ago, but I definitely won’t kick you.

All six eyes lifted to meet my gaze, with a glossiness of tears. All ears were held down, and it’s entire coat was trembling before me. This was probably the cutest and purest thing I’ve seen all year. I reached out and let it sniff me, and softly touched the middle head. It seemed to not mind.

“Now, do you have a home? This is a strange place for a creature like you to be wondering around”

“Excuse me, sir, are you alright?” A man peered around the edge of a building. “Oh, yeah… I just found…” and when I looked down, the dog had went invisible again, also it had three heads. “I mean, I had dropped something. But I found it, thank you”.

The man shook his head slightly, tilted his hat, and kept walking. Filthy muggles, treating me like I’m crazy!- I mean, he was just an interested man, not filthy, he never said I was crazy… his facial expression did… I don’t know, it just seems like muggles are extremely nosey and annoying. I mean, I’ve met pure blood wizards that were the same. I just hate people, to be fair.

Glancing down, the dog was now in full sight and wagging it’s tail. “How about you come home with me?”

As I picked up the creature, I realized how heavy it actually was, and how hard it was going to be to get into the cab without looking suspicious. “The only thing, I need you to do is stay invisible”.

…

It snores. Also, it’s a boy. I named him Snake, because why would you not name an animal after a different animal? Snake fell asleep shortly after we got home, and I’ve kind of just been sitting by this window, ever since. We’re probably ordering out for dinner.

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and using a MASH game as a prompt. Also, I’ve always wanted to write harry potter fan fiction.

Austin: Let's just go fucking nuts, dude.

MALF: Yeaaah.

Ryan: No, no, no. Let's guarantee our victory.

Austin: No, we're going fucking nuts.