#malcolm mim

Kidnapper; I have your ward. Ivy, pulling out a Guess Who board; I have literally so many of those I need you to be more specific. Kidnapper; Really pale? Ivy, flipping down Mora, Malcolm, CJ, Jay, Veronica, Carlos, Claudine, Orm, Joss, Pasha, and Quinlan; More specific, please. Kidnapper; Um, a guy? Ivy, flipping down Evie, Rose, Andi, Spider, Mal, Polina, Kira, Nikita, Goldie, Kurse, Bloom, considers flipping down Riah and Gil but decides to give the kidnappers the benefit of the doubt; More specific, please. Kidnapper; More?! Look, just wire us the mon- WHERE WAS HE HIDING A SWORD?! Ivy; Oh, red hair? You have Ace. It uses it/its, by the way. May the odds be ever in your favour *hands up*

Audrey; Oh, hey, guys. How was your Mother's Day? Jay; Mal; Evie; Rose; Ace; Riah; *starts laughing* Audrey; What? Mora; What the fuck, ma'am? Audrey; What? What did I do? Malcolm, walking in; Hey, everyone. Why's Riah in hysterics? Audrey; I just asked them how their Mother's Day was. Malcolm; Oh. Well, ah, you see Malcolm, pointing at Evie; Horrible mother Malcolm, pointing at Mal; Horrible mother Malcolm, pointing at Jay; No mother Malcolm, pointing at Rose and Ace; Also horrible mother Malcolm, pointing at Riah; Horrible biological mother who is also my mother. And this is the first year he's ever been on the same side of the barrier as his adopted mom on this specific day so I don't think he celebrates Mother's Day. Malcolm, pointing at Mora; Horrible mother as well Malcolm; So I'm willing to bet no one in this room except you had a good Mother's Day. Audrey; Oh. Guess I shouldn't ask about- Malcolm; Father's Day? Definitely a terrible idea.

Evie; Wait, if Maverick is Ag's cousin and Malcolm's brother, doesn't that make Malcolm- Agony; No. Maverick's adopted, Malcolm and I aren't even vaguely related. Evie; Oh thank the- Malcolm; And technically Maverick's my mother. Evie; Excuse me? Malcolm; Her parental situation is weird as fuck, she's technically a clone of my mother made of a piece of my mother's soul, which technically makes her my mother. Maverick; Technically, I am Madam Mim's brother, her son, and her, all at the same time Evie; Evie; For the sake of my sanity, I'm actually going to ignore what you just said. Maverick; Yeah, that's probably fair.

Malcolm might be a kind, gentle person, but he is still Isle. He is still a sailor. He curses about as much as Harriet does

Malcolm; I feel like I don't say this enough, but Malcolm; FUCK! FUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!! I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING BEING SO FUCKING FUCKED!