#mal talk

Tbh idk how they figured out I even hosted and it's probably bs but I did feel cool

Tho my dad tried to post pics of sloth from the goonies in the zoom chat while an artist speaker was talking about learning how to enrich her son's autism and help him make art and all, and I had to tear his ass apart for daring to pull that. Luckily there was no way to post images, and she was prerecorded, but fucking hell dude

I reframed it with "it means so much to me that she's not only recognizing her son's needs, but finding ways to help him develop art and communication around it. It took me til I was 28 to get diagnosed with ADHD and I struggled constantly. I'm not even on med that are super useful bc of my inexplicable blood pressure mystery issues, but the ones I'm on helped so much. I wish someone helped me incorporate my struggles in a useful way"

"I'm so sorry I gave you the ADHD, it's awful"

BITCH YOU NEVER FUCKING ROLD ME YOU HAD IT, AND NEITHER DID MOM

You fuckers.

I have a bunch of framed student work and an incredible card a kid wrote me last year, that's all way more genuine

I had some coffee from earlier so I make him a cup and get him to play GGG for a bit.

Asks if it's cool if he leans on me, and I'm horribly touch averse despite being a super boisterous person, and I'm trying to get past that because touch is good for everyone. I'm super touch starved after my breakup, and I'm trying to be less bristly physically.

He's playing, but he starts to pass out so he hands me the controller and asks if he can lie down

Yeah bud, go off

"you're really soft"

"oh yeah, it's one of my finer qualities"

Ends up drifting off with his head on my thigh while I take over. Ends up grabbing my thigh

Ok, this is fine, I'm benefitting from physical contact and we're decent friends. The crew used to hang weekly, and he's a nice dude. Plus I know cis dudes don't get to be taken care of often, he's been single a while, everyone benefits.

Hand's going a little high on my thigh against my classic short shorts but whatever, I haven't shown any interest and go off bud

I was a little hackles up because I don't want anything coming of this, but skin to skin is good and I'm tryna get more platonic cuddles in but I'm a lil too shy to communicate that because I don't really know anyone who would want to touch me

Jokes have gotten more sexual and I'm just like... Fuck, I'm demi but I love raunchy jokes

I hope this isn't going anywhere my bud, my last relationship took a 5 year waiting period before I was able to start it start it and I think there's only been one person since then I maybe even had a crush on

I just don't think it's my thing though I'm horribly lonely and touch starved

Getting broken up with has been a big eye opener and I don't understand romanticism, but I think I may be? Like literally nothing has changed with my ex husband on my end, so I don't know what I am or what I'm doing.

It's kinda freeing, I can be openly horny online but it's not like... Anything I really feel. I just get real jazzed but sexual attraction's always been extremely limited. It's fictional or my ex husband if anything and real people don't do it for me. I like to play with those lil jpegs of characters and I think any sexual attraction i had to my ex was mostly the concept is nice and "oh my fucking god someone wants something to do with me? And I'm comfortable with them? I want to give them everything and hearing and seeing how much you like about me gets me going because fuck I can't imagine liking myself, though I am pretty fucking fantastic"

But like

Responded to with

-you do have a fat ass

-your horny Karlach memes never fail to get me

-you are so fuckable and it's a shame you don't get railed as much as you deserve