#makingpeace

As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people." If you want to live in a more peaceful world, start by making peace with your past and yourself. — Lori Deschene #tinybuddha.com #hurtPeople #peace #makingPeace #loriDeschene https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb6cG17MM3K/?utm_medium=tumblr

lifethroughjournals.com

Everything in my life has served a purpose... everything I do leads me to why I do certain things the way I do... and for that, I am grateful.  I tend to believe I’m a good person at heart, filled with nothing but good intentions just striving in life trying to be the best me I can be. What I can never understand, however, is why people don’t hold same values. What I can never understand, is why people intentionally hurt people or use people or screw people over. I Was raised to be good, and honest, and noble.  My parents worked hard to make sure I never took handouts for granted, taught me to always walk with my head held high, and to know that hard work gets you far, and boy is it worth it. Through my young adult life, I’ve noticed that this isn’t always true. And maybe I have it twisted... You see, hard work gets you no where sometimes, and I don’t even know if that’s how my parents taught me to believe, or if I just picked it up by example. What I’ve learned, hard and fast, is that sometimes you can work as hard as you want and you'll just stay stuck in the same place. You see, its super hard to stay honest and noble when you have people left and right screwing you over. Money, the root of all evil, seems to be the fights I have most.  Jobs, a close second, tirelessly punching a clock waiting for my one day that the place I work for will reward me with stability.  But til then, I sit, and wait. I watch the clock and lose money left and right, get pulled here and there, and lose out on jobs to people who have “seniority” over me. Like, work is no longer about who busts their ass and proves themselves, no companies now reward who’s stayed the longest even if they’ve done nothing to benefit the workplace. Time, I’ve also learned, is insignificant, but valuable in the most mundane sense. In this moment, it seems I can construct reasons as to why things are the way they are and may even seem okay with it, but the truth is, I’m enraged.  Going to the root of my frustration, you’ll find me a blood boiling mess, enraged at the fact that my once best friend who was my roommate for the past year, moved out and screwed me out of $52 that she owes me for utilities. Now, is $52 really going to ruin my life? No. But is it enough of an amount to bother me at the fact that I won’ receive it? Yes...and here’s why. On top of the $52 she refuses to pay me, I’m paying the full rent by myself....a whopping $1050 that I was used to paying half of.  Not only this, but I just had a car accident and need to pay $500 to repair my vehicle.. And this is all on top of my already outrageous bills for my car, student loans, insurance, cell phone, utilities, gas, EZ pass, gym, medical/therapy bills, you name it.  I am in over my head when it comes to money and it enrages me that someone who was once my best friend can just blow me off and basically say a big fuck you to the fact that I’m struggling. I sometimes wish I was raised with a smaller heart, that I wasn’t raised to be a good decent human being, because I would love to screw someone over one day, not pay them the money I owe, and not lose any sleep over it. The downside is, I’m not, and never will be that person...and I find it hard to be proud of who I am at the moment when I continuously get the shit end of the stick. But really though, $52 won’t change my life for the better or for the worse. Would it help that she pay it? Yes. Would it be fair and right and just that she pay it? Yes.  But truth is, kick and scream all I want, she’s not wired the way I am. She was not raised the proper way to do the right thing....and I’ve learned this time and time again from living with her.....the endless constant fights we had...I’ve never met anyone more stubborn or selfish in my entire life... It continually blows my mind that I even put up with her bullshit for a full year...let alone be her best friend without even really knowing her for 4 years.. I will continue to be who I am, just now have another lesson under my belt about trusting people when it comes to money.  i’ve never really been one to trust anyway when it came to that, because I’ve been burned before. People have a bad habit of never paying you back, or oh so conveniently “forgetting” even though I’ll always stick to my word and pay what I owe to who I owe, no matter the relationship. It’s another one for the books, and I need to swallow my anger and move on, despite the lingering feeling of hate I have towards someone with complete lack of regards to anyone but herself. I’ve never met such a selfish person in my life, and I am appalled at the fact that I was ever friends with such a human. My 20′s has also taught me that the friends I have, aren’t ones that are forever. I deserve more in my life than selfish, entitled, and dramatic people... Why do I attract such people when I am not at all like them? It’s time to start creating a life with more fulfillment and meaning... This is me making peace with a situation that is dissatisfying...  Onto bigger better things, Karma will come around someday. 

lifethroughjournals.com

Sublime Spirit Message today. #makingpeace #insecurities #today (at Mumbai, Maharashtra) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSGTFP-ocZq/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Determination of 2020 Thinking about what i want, want to achieve, next project, and next travel destinations. Prioritizing what matters, defining what feels good (like family time) and do it more often. I love what i do but like everyone who does we should not let it consume us either. Hard work draw the limit sometimes! In show-business the mass tend to think it is easy because (it looks so fun and easy) the amount of work that goes behind the curtains is huge! Yes #effortlessness is an art. #2019 was for me and for a lot of people i personally know, certainly challenging. We lost a few feathers! Lol 2020 is not short of challenges already even before it begun. Let s think of tools 🧰 to deal with those graciously. Blessed was 2019. #makingpeace with it and breathing deeply for 2020. Bless you all. (at Burj Al Arab) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6ugxaSBRD9/?igshid=8jm3i0mfzm8o

🕶🐱🌴" Rude Boi"🌴🐱🕶 #Studio #Music #worldwide # #MakingPeace #Artist #Musician #tunecore #808 #FLstudio #StudioFlow #beatmaker #LogicPro #Protools #SoFlo #ProducerPlug #FLstudiogang #Producer #Miami #MusicProducer #madhatter #school #notforeveryone #beats #songwriter #808 #2019 #carribean #AlwaysWorking #Myami #Miami #Souf https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Mx3Osgmwf/?igshid=1k7b8u31dsi0h