#magwill

He supposed he should have been bothered by it. Being kissed by another man was unnatural, wasn’t it? Even more so with him being a warlock, Will should be feeling an aversion towards it, but he found out he wasn’t. Magnus wasn’t just a random, vague “warlock”, he was Magnus, he knew him, Magnus was helping him, he owed him his life, his happiness, everything. And as for him being a man… Will had never given that too much thought, he knew there were men that laid with other men and women with women, but he had always been too busy worrying about keeping away all his relationships to think about the ones of other people or even about how he really felt about any relationships at all.

With the persona he had built for himself, flirting with all the women and being crass and perverted fit well, it was only natural, so that’s what he did, but he never stopped to think about his feelings behind it. He did find women appealing, yes, he found Tessa extremely appealing in everything she did, but wasn’t he in this predicament right now because he found Magnus appealing too?

There had been Jem, there was always going to be Jem, but it wasn’t the same, right? It couldn’t be. It wasn’t something he could think about, so he didn’t, he shouldn’t, as much as he wanted to, so he wouldn’t. He thought about the kiss again.

No matter how he though about it, the kiss hadn’t bothered him in the least - in fact, he had liked it - even if he had only really thought about it the next morning once the effects of the painkiller spell had passed and he woke up with that image still on his mind. An image that had stuck with him through the next few days until he was not sure anymore if it had been real or a dream. And now…

Now Will couldn’t sleep, so he did the only natural thing: he got out of bed, got dressed, and sneaked out of the institute. Magnus had sent a fire message to him that morning, with the address of his new lodgings in case Will needed it and a promise to send another one as soon as he had everything sorted out to summon the demon Will had gotten the tooth from. But Will didn’t want to wait that long.

He didn’t know what he was expecting out of it. He just thought that maybe if he saw Magnus again as a flesh and bones person in front of him and not just a magic appearance in his dreams, then the spell of the kiss would be broken and he would be able to think clearly. Or perhaps the other might be able to help him figure all of this out if he talked to him about it.

It was an impulsive and not thoroughly thought out solution, but those seemed like the only ones he had lately.

When he got to the address, it was well over midnight, and the house was dark except for a flickering light in the living room window. Will instantly thought back to all the times he had gotten to Camille’s house only to find Magnus reading on the couch by candle light and felt a bit more reassured, like the other also still being awake was a signal of some sort. Not one to waste time, he crossed the gate and banged on the door.

After a while there was movement behind one of the living room's curtains and Will caught sight of a luminous cat eye staring at him from the window before it vanished. If Will didn't know very well who he was looking for, he would have thought he had imagined it. But he wasn't imagining the noise of the lock turning or the opening of the door in front of him.

Soon the cat eyes were back in plain view, as was their owner, that was looking at him with an expression that was part surprised and part apprehensive. It was clear he didn't expect to see the Shadowhunter again so soon and was assuming the worst.

"You know that when I sent the message this morning saying I’d tell you when things were ready I didn’t mean it would be tonight, right? Did something happen at the institute?"

Will shook his head and then moved his hand to push the bangs out of his eyes. He stared at Magnus intently, as if just by doing that he would be able to find the answers to the questions that had brought him here. He found none of those; instead, he found himself analyzing his face in a way he had never done before: taking in the dark smooth skin, the sharp jaw, the perfectly trimmed eyebrows, the intriguing eyes, the short black hair falling behind his ears, the bow of his lips and the slight stubble around his mouth and chin. It was all very undoubtedly masculine, very different from Tessa or even from Jem, and still Will found that his eyes were drawn time and time again to the other's lips while images of that kiss appeared in his mind. He didn’t even know anymore if they were still truly memories or conjures of his own imagination.

At not receiving a satisfactory answer, Magnus narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious for a moment, before his expression softened in understanding and mild exasperation. "Is it really about the curse then? Listen, Will, I understand how important that is to you, but preparing a summoning takes time, and not even I can make anything about it, as much as I wish to..."

Will's eyes snapped back up at that and he shook his head again, a bit more frantically. "It's not about that either. I...” He stopped for a moment, not knowing exactly how to say what he wanted. It occurred to him, then, he was in front of the only man, the only person, in the world he had laid his whole soul bare to since the death of his sister. He had already been so painfully and embarrassingly honest with Magnus, there was barely anything else he could even say that would be worse than that, so he decided to just be blunt.

“I need you to kiss me."

If anything, that was worth it only to see the look of absolute startled surprise that overcame Magnus. Will had known him long enough by now to know it took a lot to faze the warlock, and even more so to get him to show it, and the part of Will that had always taken great pleasure on having the upper hand over people was distantly pleased.

“You need me to do what now?” Magnus asked, composing himself back enough to shoot Will a look of intrigued amusement. “Is this a new Shadowhunter business custom I need to be aware of? Because if so I might refrain from doing any more businesses with the lot of you in the future. You may be very charming yourself, but I’m afraid not all of you share that luck…”

Will cut off his rambling, exasperated.

“By the Angel, you love the sound of your own voice, don’t you?”

“Indeed, it’s my third favourite thing about myself.” He replied, with a smirk. “The first two being my dashing looks and flawless personality.”

Will was about to retort again when he noticed what Magnus was doing: trying to distract him from what he had said, most likely so he could rope him into going away without having to address his request. He glared at the warlock. “Stop trying to change the subject, I came here for a reason. I know you kissed me at Camille’s house. And before you try to throw me off again, I don’t think, I know.”

Magnus’ amused stare fell at that. He rested his forehead at the door frame for a moment, seemingly cursing, or counting to ten, before he looked back at Will with a resigned expression and a sigh.

“You remembered that, now did you?”

Will’s eyes sparked. He knew it hadn’t been just a figment of his imagination. He still had had his doubts, despite what he had just told Magnus, and it was good to have confirmation.

“I did. I barely remember anything else from that night, but I remember that.” He paused for a moment, taking in the strange look that passed through Magnus’ eyes. It was gone in a second, but it gave him the push to continue. “Why did you do it?”

Magnus sighed, and absent-mindedly played with one of the rings in his fingers, his whole demeanour closed off and guarded, and Will was sure he was about to be lied to. For some reason, that bothered him. Magnus was the only one that hadn’t lied to him, to whom he hadn’t lied to. He didn’t want to be lied to now, he didn’t know why but he knew that was very important.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Will. I wanted Camille off my back and you were there. As flattered as I am to have been the man of your dreams for one night-“

“It wasn’t just one night.” Will cut over him, then watched his eyes widen in surprise and that strange look pass over them and be smothered again just as quickly. He felt like he was on the edge of a vital discovery, and as soon as he figured it out this would all make sense. “It wasn’t. I can’t stop thinking about it ever since, and I need to see… I need you to kiss me again.”

“No.”

“Magnus-“

“I said no. I am not kissing you just so you can test out whatever theory you have.”

“You kissed me to get rid of Camille!”

“And that was a mistake and I am not doing it again, now if you’ll excuse me.”

He tried closing the door, but Will was faster and put his foot on the way, making it stay partly open. Annoyed yellow eyes glared daggers at him, but he didn’t budge.

“Why not? I know it’s… A most unorthodox request, but it will be only a moment, it doesn’t have to mean anything, if-”

Even as he said it he knew that was wrong, that it was not what he wanted, but he was willing to pretend if it made Magnus feel more comfortable. Instead, he didn’t even get to finish before he was interrupted by a laugh. Magnus had rested his forehead against the frame of the door again and was laughing, but it was a hollow and bitter sound. There was another strange look in his eyes when he looked back at Will, only this time he recognized – with a shock – that it was hurt.

“Camille and Woolsey and you, you are all the same. I am tired of kisses that don’t mean anything to anyone except me. Go home, William.”

Will didn’t, he couldn’t. Because that sentence had been like the final piece of the puzzle finally coming together in his brain. The gears shifted and the answer they provided was as absurd as it was obvious. A strange thrill took over him and the words escaped in a whisper:

“You love me.”

“What did you say?”

“You love me.” He repeated, louder this time, and watched as Magnus’ eyes widened in shock like a deer caught in headlights, realizing he had said too much, before he closed himself off again. He opened his mouth, probably to dismiss him for good, but Will didn’t give him a chance. “You do. That’s why you don’t want to kiss me, because you don’t want to get hurt again. You think this is just a curiosity of mine, that I would be using you to figure out my feelings for men or that I’d regret it, but it’s not that, Magnus, this is all only about you. All this time, you have been the only person in which I could trust, with whom I could talk freely. You opened your house for me and took me in whenever I happened to show up and I did over and over, not only because I needed something, but because I wanted to, because I knew you would be there. I… I think I have been falling for you too.”

As he spoke, he realized it was all truth, all the little details that hadn’t matched up and feelings he hadn’t known what to call over the past weeks finally fell into a neat line and made sense for himself. This was the most truthful, both to himself and to another person, that he had been in a long time and it felt heady, and right and scary. Both for himself and for Magnus. The curse hadn’t been lifted yet, though it would be soon, but Magnus was a powerful warlock, and he had to believe he had had ways of protecting himself from it all this time and could continue to do so on these final couple of days before they summoned the demon and the curse was broken for good.

Will was suddenly so certain, it was a shock to look into Magnus’ face and see he was less than impressed with his confession and even more bitter.

“You do not love me, Will. You have been lonely and desperate, and I gave you company and hope. You feel thankful, and perhaps you even truly like me, but that is not love.”

It was Will’s turn to narrow his eyes into a glare, tempestuous and determinate.

“Do not tell me how I feel!”

“Oh, very well. Then what about Tessa? You know, the reason we have started all this? Have you forgotten about her already?”

“Of course not!” he raised his voice, now truly angry. Will did not know if Magnus was being purposefully confrontational or not, but it was still infuriating. “I love Tessa! But guess what? I also love Jem! And I also love you! I am perfectly capable of loving more than one person at once! For over 5 years, my whole life has spun around love, so I think I know how it feels like. And I can prove it!”

“Oh yeah? How?”

“Kiss me.”

Magnus’ expression was unreadable. Even through Will’s speech and all his shocking revelations, all the truths he had never even admitted to himself, he had not been taken aback or budged in the slightest, golden eyes lit like the heart of hell staring back at him, but if the warlock was stubborn, Will was doubly so. He returned the glare and did not say anything more.

He had all night to wait there, and he would if it meant Magnus would listen to him, but suddenly Magnus yanked open the door and his hand shot out in his direction and gripped the front of his shirt. Will had half a second to wonder if he would be magically thrown to the other side of the street before his body was forcibly tugged – not backwards, but forward – and Magnus’ lips descended on his one more time.

A spark of electricity ran through his body immediately and gave him the final answer he needed. It was even better than his dreams. This kiss was nothing like the ones he had traded with Tessa, and the body pressed up against his was definitely not soft and delicate like hers, but it sent the same feeling through his body, heart and soul, like his blood had turned to fire in his veins and was heating up his entire body, like the air was being pushed out of his lungs and he couldn’t breathe, like the world had disappeared and only the two of them remained. It felt like drowning, but he would happily drown if it meant he wouldn’t have to be parted from Magnus’ mouth.

He didn’t have much experience, but he tried to convey all those feelings back to Magnus through their kiss as best as he could and could only hope he was successful and the other felt the same, though the way his breath had hitched when their lips met, and again when Will’s hand curled on the back of his neck to keep him close, seemed very promising.

It took a small eternity before they were parted, Magnus pulling away from him with eyes glazed and that strange light back in them, which Will now recognized as cautious hope. He was studying Will’s face again, catching his breath, but he still wouldn’t say anything, so Will prompted him:

“Do you believe me now?”

The hand he hadn’t realized was still rested against his chest bunched up again and Magnus swallowed visibly, eyes closed for a second to gather himself, before he looked back at Will:

“I might… Have been persuaded into discussing this further again in the morning, after the two of us have gotten a good night of sleep.”

Will accepted the compromise. He was only just starting to understand how much Camille had actually hurt Magnus, and it was perfectly natural for him to be wary about being hurt again, specially in these circumstances; he deserved some time. And Will knew he needed some too to put all his new-found discoveries in order and fully accept them, but he would not give up.

“Very well. I will come back to see you again in the morning. May I get a good night’s kiss before I go?” He smiled, mischievous, wanting more of this new feeling he had just found, and it earned himself a startled laugh from Magnus that he was very proud of. He was once again pulled forward against Magnus’ warm lips, but the kiss was over before it had barely even started, and the warlock let go of his shirt to shoo him away with a hand gesture.

“Now off with you, William. It’s late. I will see you in the morning.”

Magnus was smiling, his cheeky demeanour back in place, and Will smiled back, knowing that this was a good sign and that, whatever happened after their talk tomorrow, they would be alright.

“That’s a promise.” He turned to walk away, but had given only a couple of steps before something Magnus had said came back to him and he turned his head again.

“Woolsey? Woolsey Scott?”

The smile that opened on Magnus’ face at that was absolutely wicked.