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What’s he tormented by? wearing clothing? [in a dramatic voice] Oh, my life is so hard! forced to wear artificial fabrics instead of the egyptian cotton i deserve! what is this, 100 thread count polyester??? [back to normal voice] should have thought of that before you became a hero, dude. their lives are all suffering.
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the flavor text says some boring stuff about bashing heads, but i really think Fezzik did it best: what better way to clear a path than having a giant shout “everybody move!”?
them: ouch. that sounds painful.
me: you don’t want to bathe in dragonfire?
them: i don’t think my fragile meat shell would survive that
this looks like the most improbably useless thing ever, aside from the armor some of the women wear in this game
just punch a fuckin’ bear in the face. just go for it. punch a fuckin’ bear.
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send this card to your crush with no context
