#mae browski

The New York/Anachronistic Coterie! (Censored) From left to right: Rita & Rosemary, Molly, Konrad, Mae, Marie, Martha, & Jess Uncensored version of the art below:

This speech is so meaningful to me because through out the whole game mae has been questioning who she is and what she is doing with her life. She comes back to her town and sees her friends have grown up and moved on with their lives where as she has simply stayed the same, she came back and can’t even begin to explain to anyone why because she doesn’t understand it her self.

She slowly begins to unravel more and more about her life, who she is, what this town is and what it all means and yet she feels even more lost as ever. She doesn’t know what to do or who to turn to so she keeps trying, trying to forget, trying to make sense of it all, trying to build her friendship back up, she just keeps trying.

In the end when she explains it all to Bea and finds out what’s going on in the town it’s as if something changes, nothings better and it’ll take a lot of time but maybe a part of her finally understands. This won’t stop, her feelings and her thoughts aren’t gonna stop and she has to live with that but that doesn’t mean she can’t have hope.

She wants it to hurt because she’s spent her whole life trying to make sense of something no one else could seem to understand, trying to figure out who she is and what she wants to be while everyone tells her who she is supposed to be, trying to run from a past that no one will let her escape. So yeah she wants it to hurt, because then that means after all of this at least it meat something, it taught her something and it made her feel something, even if it wasn’t necessarily good, and that’s enough.

The thought that everything she went through could have been for nothing, had no effect on who she is and what she is doing, had no effect on anything is enough for her to want the pain of it all, enough for her to stop running from it.

When it all comes to an end and she’s alone once again she wants it to be painful because it means her life meant something, her friends meant something, everything that happened was for a reason. She wants it to be painful because that meant her life was all the more living and that meant she, maybe for a moment, loved her life. The pain that comes with loosing everything means you cared enough about it all and that the impact of it all was big enough to be worth mourning the loss.

But until this does all happen she wants to hope, and that may be the most important part because like I said she spent a lot of this game running from her past, trying to escape something no one will let her be free of, she lost hope and came home, came home to her friends who had all carried in with their lives and changed while she seemed to stay the same. But now all she wants to is to hope, because hope means it’s all worth it, hope means that one day everything will mean something and that’s enough.

Hope leads to pain because the hope fuels you enough to keep going and to keep holding onto things, like friends, so when that’s all gone and buried, pain is what follows and the pain means it meant something.

Ideas came to me at 2am and i drew them on impulse

Happy Harfest!