#madroxed

thank you my love! i hope you like it!

Kissing Robert had always been overwhelming. It had been, from that first kiss they shared in the layby, and it had been in all the years since, and it was now, Aaron finding himself with an armful of Robert, Robert’s mouth warm, and relentless against his own. It had always been overwhelming, and so comfortable, at the same time – Robert had always been home, even in their worst times, and Robert’s mouth on his own had always been the most familiar comfort of Aaron’s life.

Which is why it felt strange, that Aaron’s heart was thundering in his chest and he couldn’t seem to get out of his own head. Normally, when Robert kissed him, it was a comfort that Aaron could melt into.

“Robert,” Aaron breathed into Robert’s mouth, trying to stop Robert’s wandering hands from tugging off his jumper. He wanted Robert’s hands on his body, he really did – he wanted nothing more than to learn Robert’s body all over again, pay attention to every freckle, every scar, every line that made it clear Robert was six years older, now – and so was Aaron, the grey in his own beard a constant reminder of how much time had passed.

He wasn’t twenty-seven anymore, or twenty-five, or twenty-two anymore, the common thread his love for Robert. He was thirty-three, and he wanted it to work out this time – wouldn’t survive it, if it didn’t. Had barely survived it, last time around.

He could drown in Robert. The way Robert’s mouth moved against his own, sucking, licking, biting, Robert always having had this innate, intimate knowledge of how to take Aaron apart with his mouth – and his hands, those hands. Robert had one hand on the back of his neck, guiding Aaron’s mouth to where he wanted it to be, his grip firm, and grounding, just how it had always been.

But there was a shake to Robert’s hands that hadn’t been there before, and Aaron was worried.

Mates.

Just mates.

Robert’s tongue being halfway down his throat was sort of disproving that as the truth.

“Robert,” Aaron managed to pull back, trying not to be distracted by Robert’s clever, wandering hands. “Robert – this isn’t slow. It’s not mates.”

Robert’s eyes were wide, his blonde hair a mess. Aaron had done that. One of the great joys of his adult life had always been the times Robert had grown his hair out, long enough for Aaron to tug, and pull, push Robert to where he wanted him to be. He was fucking gorgeous. Robert was always gorgeous, but time had been good to him – he was older now, and Aaron loved him just the same.

His love for Robert was etched into his very DNA, whispered ‘I love yous’ carved into the bones of Aaron. He loved him, more than Aaron thought he was capable of loving anyone on this Earth.

“Do you – do you not want me, anymore?” and there it was – the insecurity that Robert had been swallowing, the barest hint of how Robert really felt escaping in the downcast expression he was doing his best to hide.

“I always want you,” Aaron shook his head, taking one of Robert’s hands in his own, lacing their fingers together tightly. It was his greatest truth – his want for Robert thrummed underneath his skin, a constant, even during all those years they were hundreds of miles from each other, Robert in prison and Aaron serving a life sentence of his own, desperate to clobber together some semblance of a life without the love of his life.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Robert,” Aaron paused, and wondered, for a second, if this was how it felt for Robert, all those years ago, when Aaron’s head had been mashed, and Robert had been kind, and gracious, and oh-so romantic, promising Aaron that he’d wait, until he was ready. Robert wasn’t ready. “You’re not in a good place.”

“All the more reason to forget,” Robert shook his head, and tried to lean in again, Aaron cupping Robert’s jaw, holding him in place.

“You told me – a few months ago – not like this. So, listen to me, Robert – not like this,” Aaron wondered if it had been this hard for Robert to step back, all those years ago. He wanted, wanted, wanted, always wanted Robert. But not like this. “We both deserve more than that. Yeah? You deserve more than that.”

Robert’s eyes were glassy, with tears. “I – it’s not because you don’t want me, anymore? Now that you know about prison – about everything I had to – everything I had to do, to survive in there?”

Robert Sugden had always been this beautiful, fragile thing. Not everyone had seen that, but Aaron had – had from the beginning. He was this beautiful, fragile thing, and Aaron loved him. He had loved Robert when he was the confident, cocksure man who’d coaxed Aaron into the back of a car and changed his life, and he loved Robert now, despite everything he’d had to endure in order to stay alive in prison. The bullying, the beatings – the Kev of it all. None of it mattered, not to Aaron.

“You always tell me, that I’m the strongest person you know,” Aaron hummed, wiping away a few of Robert’s stray tears with the pad of his thumb. “It goes both ways. You’re the strongest person I know, Robert. I’ll always love you. I’ll always want you. But when you’re ready, yeah? I’ll wait. You waited for me. I’ll wait for you.”

Robert hiccupped out a shaky breath. “I can’t do this alone,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to fix myself.”

Aaron pressed a featherlight kiss to the corner of Robert’s mouth, the salt of Robert’s tears lingering on his tongue as he spoke. “I’ll help you,” he reassured, and he would – he’d burn the world down for Robert, and knowing that had been scary, once, but he accepted it now. “I’ll help you this time, Rob. I promise.”

Not me finally getting round to these??? This is technically not 5 sentences and a bit of a wide take on the prompt but we move. Formatting is fake I don't know how to use tumblr mobile xoxo

53 - Keeping A Secret

There was an ease to this, to the bustle of the parking lot after a game and the excited chatter of cheerleaders and athletes alike. Felix still isn't certain he actually understands basketball, or possibly just sport in general, but he allows the thrum of noise to wash over him as he winds his way onto the bus to wait.

He is still uncertain as to how this works, if he's allowed to hang around like the adoring partners of the Pinewood Creek Otters players, or if this carefully squirreled, tentative secret is exactly that - tucked away and hidden until either of them have really worked out what this new dynamic meant for them.

The raucous noise of players and fans piling onto the bus stirs Felix from his reverie, the seats around him filling with green and gold and the buzz of victory - there are more faces here that he is starting to recognise, players that he is starting to find his feet with, but there is only one face he's really looking for.

#2 - Favourite Storyline - It's a tie between what's happening on screen right now in Robert's Return 2025 (not so controversial) or Boyfriends/Fiancees era 2016-2017 (potentially controversial).

For the former, I love to see my faves suffer and both Robert and Aaron are suffering very well currently, plus it's very clear that they still love each other so much only there's so many issues and years between them preventing them from being together!

LISTEN i shipped them so hard throughout the series. obviously, i was the biggest arthur/merlin shipper, BUT morgana and merlin’s relationship meant everything to me. SHE WAS ROBBED and he could have been SO GOOD for her. the j’s were cowards for not letting us have morgana actually, you know, be merlin’s bff in magic. morgana deserved better. i truly believe merlin would have helped her in season one and their friendship??? mocking arthur??? making out in the meantime and waiting for gwen and arthur to realise?

YOU ARE REALLY MAKING ME SCRATCH MY BRAIN AND DO REMEMBERING HUH this feels like a quiz because YOU remember and literally i don't

fun fact about me my memories are like locked filing cabinets, gotta only make room for the here and now and anxiety about the future babey

OKAY I REMEMBER A LIL KID NAME MOLLY SWEET BABY ANGEL GIRL my heart and gut tells me she takes after sam SOOOOOOO much but in the like, she's SO KIND but also active and doing EVERYTHING and when you say all kids are sticky you're literally talking about molly and that's something blaine just has to come to terms with

they definitely have a little boy too who i probably named at some point but don't remember, and he's a NEEEERD lol jk he loves science and space and his big sister and both of those kids don't necessarily want to be performers, but they find JOY in music and at any given moment pick up one of the thousands of instruments in their house and write their own "song" (is this actually just a dream i have for my own future children....... yes)

i reread amnesia!laurence the other day because i was just suddenly and totally overwhelmed with how perfect it was and needed to have it back in my eyeballs immediately.

AMNESIA LAURENCE IS SO GOOD. 

Like Na*mi N*vik went for it. She looked at her long running, successful, alternate history dragon series and was like, these fans need half a novel of amnesia before I can even THINK of finishing up this story. We must hit this trope and it needs to be for AT LEAST a hundred pages while all of the protagonist’s friends worry about him. And then the eventual remembering must be the most romantic scene in the entire world and take place in a tent.

OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY THAT I’M SHIT AT TUMBLR @madroxed. pls forgive me. ;; I’m not ignoring you, I just am apparently really bad at dealing with this hell site?

ANYWAY. I’m so glad you liked it. :DD Both the assignment (You gave me such a good fic! I WILL LOVE IT FOREVER), and the Blake and Avery books. I genuinely love everything I request, but those books will forever hold a special place in my heart because... They’re just so good? And so interesting? And Blake and Avery should bang in every position possible, as soon as possible?