VAMPIRE SMP SPOILERS
been thinking about Apo's pov alot and I figured I'd let myself ramble a little after episode 4
Apo is scared. She WANTS to reach out to others, WANTS to tell someone else but they're terrified they'll hurt her. Apo's saw the way Avid was desperately hoping Shelby might be "redeemable" and wanting her to come home, and then afterwards, Apo debated with themself whether or not she could tell the other members of the militia. Because she's hoping that maybe they won't see her as a threat.
And then the next time they see Avid, he's burning down Shelby's house because "she couldn't be saved" and didn't wanna come home?
Yeah that definitely squashed any hope of Apo reaching out.
(I feel the need to mention as well, that when the militia were all talking and Sausage joked about being a vampire and Martyn- who's trying to keep cover that he hates vampires- says he would've killed Sausage on the spot? Apo was dead silent during that entire scene- and was honestly very quiet during most of that conversation because they're scared they'll slip up and get killed. I watched Apo's pov first and I genuinely believed Martyn was being serious until after I watched a few other povs and realized otherwise).
Another thing I've noticed is that Apo and Cleo sort of foil eachother? Maybe not foil but they certainly contrast with eachother. Cleo on their first full day of being a vampire told several people she trusted that she'd been turned. Obviously Cleo hasn't been telling everyone but they HAVE people to rely on, people they know will defend them if the time comes for it. Also, while Cleo doesn't LIKE being a vampire they've accepted that as their reality and are coping with it as well as they can.
Apo, on the other hand has next to no one. Apo had no plans of telling Leg (something I'm very glad that he knows about now), and Cleo only knows because she's also a vampire. Apo has expressed a desire TO tell people, but it's clear they aren't going to act on it (as of now at least) out of fear. Apo's trying to protect herself but is simultaneously leaving herself with no one should everything go wrong. (Of course I am not including Leg in this, since he would absolutely help/defend her REGARDLESS of if he had been told this episode, but Apo didn't intend for that to happen, and Leg's one of the only humans who would do that and he can't be everywhere). The second point of comparison between Apo and Cleo is Apo adamantly being angry about being a vampire and not even trying to go searching for food. While yes, Apo is trying to breed the animals, it clearly distresses them a lot. There was also several moments, I noticed where they would start eating regular food in front of others or EVEN WHEN BY HERSELF. She's trying to find normalcy, even if it's hurting her. (Specifically, when one of the militia members killed a sheep(? i think) and Apo immediately perked up and tried to ask for the meat but phrased it in a way to so that she wouldn't have to kill an animal herself, and then everyone assumed she would want non-meat food and she could only accept it because otherwise they'd give herself away).
OH, also, this is less of an analysis, but more so something I found interesting: Apo was openly talking to Scott at the beginning of the episode, and while they definitely don't trust or like him after what he did to her, they felt safe enough to have a conversation. When Owen showed up though, Apo was immediately distrusting and very standoffish towards him. While they explained it was because Owen was the one who lured her to the other vampires, he also didn't have anything to do with her actual turning. He wasn't even there when it happens. I've personally interpreted this as meaning, Apo feels safer around Scott than Owen because Scott's her sire.
Anyway, I hope they figure out the cure shit because Apo's yuri will NOT be doomed. (delusional).
