âAre you sure youâre okay, Killua?â Gon asked, a broad smile spreading across his face.
Killua glowered at him as they sat cross-legged and facing each other on the soft grass. âYes. Iâve said it a million times already. Letâs just- do it, already.â
Gon giggled. âYou make it sounds like itâs something you want to get over with.â
âItâs not-â Killua made a face, scrunching up his nose in a way that made him cute without him realizing, and something warm and light bubbled up inside Gonâs chest-
âItâs not that,â the silver haired teen finished with a heavy sigh. âI want to do it, really. Itâs just. Ugh, this is going to be so embarrassing!â He buried his face in both hands.
Gon cocked his head to the side, watching with amusement. âYou do realize weâre gonna do it more than once though, right? Thereâs no need to get so worked up.â
âYouâve done this kind of stuff before, you have no reason to be worried!â Killua retorted. âYou already know what to do and everything! And itâs our first time so of course Iâm gonna get worked up, stupid!â
âIâve never done this before, either,â Gon corrected him and Killua jolted.
ââŚyouâŚhavenât?â
Gon shook his head.
âBut, but what about all those girls you took out on dates when you were younger?! Back when we were training to fight the Ants years ago, you said they taught you stuff-â
Gon cut him off with a loud laugh. Thatâs what Killua was talking about?
âWhatâs so funny?!â Killua growled.
âThose werenât real dates, Killua,â Gon said with an affectionate smile. âThe ladies just thought I was cute, so they asked me to give them tours of this place.â He waved his hand in the air, generally referring to the nature of Whale Island around them; the birds chirping in the air, the waves crashing against the cliff, Aunt Mitoâs house that stood a little way off.
Gon explained, âSometimes the visiting ladies would tell me about the lands they came from or the jobs they worked on. But they never did anything more than that.â
Killua frowned; Gon could practically see his thoughts clicking together behind those stunning blue eyes of his.
âSo.â Killua glanced at him suspiciously. âThat means.â
âYeah?â
âThat means this will be your first time, too.â
Gon grinned. âMhm.â
Killua flushed. âGreat. That just makes this even more stressful.â
âItâs not supposed to be stressful, Killua! Itâs supposed to be nice. Look-â
He reached out to cup porcelain cheeks, gently forcing Killua to look at him.
âSee?â he said softly as their eyes locked. âFirst step, done. That wasnât so bad, right?â
âYou havenât done anything yet,â Killua ground out. The palms of Gonâs hands warmed as Killuaâs face darkened.
âAwww, Killua. Youâre blushing!â
Killuaâs expression soured. âIf youâre going to make fun of me, we can stop right here-â
âI wasnât!â Gon protested, squishing Killuaâs cheeks to stop him from moving away. That was the last thing in the world he wanted. âI swear! I just think itâs really cute, that youâre already flustered and Iâm just holding you. Thatâs it.â
âYouâre seriously not making this any easier, Gon,â Killua groaned.
âSorry, sorry! Iâll stop.â
Gon bit his bottom lip; Killua was really cute like this. His cheeks were dusted pink, silver hair blowing slightly in the warm breeze, blue eyes blown wide and shinning in the sunlight as he stared at Gon like he was the only person in the entire world.
Killua was stunning.
Gonâs heart stuttered and Killuaâs brows furrowed. He asked quietly, âGon? Are you okay? Youâre just staring at me.â
Gon took a deep breath to replace the one Killua had unknowingly stolen. He smiled softly, answering, âYeah. Iâm- Iâm perfect, Killua. Youâre here, after all.â
Killua inhaled sharply and Gonâs smile grew until his cheeks hurt. It was nice to know that he had the same reaction on Killua as Killua had on him-
âAre you trying to make me combust?â Killua seethed. ââCause if so, youâre doing a great job. If you add one more mushy commentary, I swear Iâm going to explode. And then your first kiss will be with my decapitated head.â
âEw! Thatâs gross!â Gon laughed.
âThen stop-â he flicked Gonâs forehead and Gon cried out, â-saying stuff like that! Câmon, this couldâve been over already!â
âYouâre the one who keeps-â
âGon.â
âI-â He stopped at Killuaâs irritated scowl. âOkay, just- give me a sec? Please?â
He closed his eyes to steel himself. When he opened them, he found himself starting into his best friendâs elegant face. Immediately, Gonâs heart took off. His pulse raced so fast. it almost make him dizzy and he silently hoped Killua didnât notice the slight shaking of his hands.
Killua meant so much to him, was such an integral part of who Gon was and who heâd grown to beâŚhe didnât want to mess this up. This- their first kiss- had to be perfect.
He stroked Killuaâs burning cheeks once- trying to somehow memorize the incredibly soft and fragile look in Killuaâs eyes- before slowly leaning in, guiding Killuaâs face towards his own. His chest tightened as they grew close, making it hard to breathe. This was it, this was really happening. He was going to kiss the person he loved and had dreamed about for years.
The last thing he saw before he shut his eyes was those beautiful blue orbs-
âAUGH, I canât do this!â
Killua abruptly disappeared from under his hands and Gon fell forward with a yelp. His jaw collided painfully with his friendâs forehead; Killua had ducked at last second and was now gasping against Gonâs shoulder.
âAh, Killlua, that hurt,â Gon said with a wince. He leaned back, rubbing the sore spot on his face. Confusion knotted his stomach; what happened to make Killua panic like that?
âAre you okay?â he asked.
Killuaâs head snapped up. His expression twisted in a weird mix of regret, terror, and embarrassment.
âOh, god, Iâm sorry! I didnât mean to hit you-â
âThen why did you pull away?â Gon pouted. âI thought you said you wanted to kiss me. Thatâs part of being a couple, right?â
âUgh, yes, of course it is. And I do want to k-kiss you! I, um.â He bit his bottom lip and clenched his hands into fists. âI just. The way you were looking at me was. Uh.â
âWas?â Gon probed.
Killua grimaced. âIt was too intense,â he said. âSo I. I freaked out. Iâm sorry, that was stupid, we can try again-â
âWould you rather me be more playful, then?â Gon asked, grinning.
Killuaâs eyes widened. âNo. Gon, no, donât you dare-!â
But it was too late; Gon pounced on top of the pale teen with a gleeful laugh, sending them both flying back into the soft, green grass. Killua threw his weight to the side before Gon get a solid grip on him and soon they were rolling over each other and down the hill. Before they could come to a complete stop, Gon found the ticklish spot under Killuaâs arms and began to tease him mercilessly.
Peals of laughter erupted from Killua- Gonâs favorite sound- and they collapsed in a heap, tears of laughter streaming down their cheeks.
âAH, NO, Gon!!! Stop it, stop! I canât breathe!â Killua gasped.
Gon relented with a final giggle. He wrapped his arms around Killuaâs middle and nuzzled into his chest. This was much better than their previous position, when theyâd been facing each other with only their knees brushing. That was too formal for them.
Killuaâs chest heaved under Gonâs chin. After a few seconds, he said breathlessly, âJeez, you really are affectionate today.â A soft hand carded through Gonâs hair and Gon hummed happily.
âIâm always affectionate with you!â
Killua snorted. âCanât argue with that. Remember the time you wouldnât let me get out of bed for four hours just because you wanted to cuddle? You wouldnât even let me go to the bathroom!â
Gonâs lips twitched at the memory; it had been a happy moment, one of many they had shared since being reunited. At the time, he and Killua had only been dating for a week and Gon had gotten really sick. Heâd insisted that hugging Killua was the only cure, and Killua being Killua had relented with a role of his eyes.
It was weird to think about, but Gon liked knowing that Killua would do little things like that just for him. It meant Gon was special to Killua. And simply knowing that filled him to the brim with warmth.
âYeah,â he sighed. âThat was a good day. We should do that again! Cuddling with you is the best.â
âMmm. Maybe the next time it rains and thereâs nothing to do or something.â
âOooo, yeah! That would be great! But. Um. Hey, Killua?â Gon lifted himself off Killuaâs chest and onto his hands and knees. He frowned down at teen trapped beneath him. âSeriously, though. Why did you pull away earlier? Did I do something wrong?â
Killua groaned and threw his head back onto the ground. âNo. I told you already, it was my fault. I panicked at the last second. You didnât do anything wrong.â
âOh.â Gon paused. Then he plopped down on the grass besides Killua, thinking out loud, âMaybe, then, I should distract you before we kiss? That way you wonât be expecting it and you wonât have the chance to worry.â
Killua pushed himself up with a hand, one eyebrow raised. âWhat do you have in mind? Iâm not that easily distracted, yâknow. Assassin training kind of squished that out of me.â
Killua was wrong there, Gon thought smugly. Assassin training or not, Killua could never handle being smothered with love. Especially if Gon was the one doing the smothering. So he chirped, âIâll tell you everything I love about you!â
âWhat?!â Killua squeaked.
âI said, Iâm-â
He grunted as Killua shoved a hand in his face.
âI heard what you said, stupid!!! You donât have to repeat it!â
Gon gently removed Killuaâs hand from his mouth, interlocking their fingers and gazing at them adoringly. âI like your hands,â he said absentmindedly and stroked one of Killuaâs knuckles with his thumb. âTheyâre so smooth and your fingers are really pretty and long, like a pianistâs.â
Killua made a strangling noise. He didnât yank his hand away, though, like Gon half expected him to do.
âWhat is it?â he asked, peaking at the other teen.
Killua shook his head. âI just donât understand how you can call them pretty after everything youâve seen me do with them.â
Gon shrugged. âYouâve seen what my hands have done, right?â
Killuaâs jaw dropped at the implication. They rarely talked about what happened with Pitou; that belonged to the past, but so did Killuaâs previous wrongdoings.
âAnd, besides,â Gon continued nonchalantly. âIt doesnât really matter what our hands have done, because in the end they still fit together, right? And thatâs the most important thing.â
Killua shut his mouth and looked away with a huff. Gon grinned.
âI like your hair, too,â he teased.
âMy hair?â Killua repeated incredulously. âWhat are you, five? You canât go listing every random body part I have-â
âIâm not! Iâm just saying what I like your hair specifically. It reminds me of starlight âcause it glows silver sometimes, like right now.â
Killua just stared at him this time, speechless. Gon took the chance to scoot closer. Their arms brushed and Killuaâs shoulders rose defensively.
Gon leaned into Killuaâs space until their noses brushed, inwardly loving the flustered expression on Killuaâs face. âAnd I really love your eyes. Theyâre so beautiful. I love how I can see everything youâre thinking when I look into them, and-â Gon lowered his voice, â-I love how they light up whenever you see me.â
Heâd expected Killua to stammer out a weak insult, or at the very least, to blush harder. Gon relished the fact that he was the only person in the world who could make Killua lose his self-control like this-
What he hadnât expected was for those stunning eyes to narrow into thin slits, suddenly dangerous and glinting.
âI love your eyes,â Killua said abruptly and Gon froze.
âI- what?â he stammered.
Killua smirked and shoved his forehead up against Gonâs. The piercing blue of Killuaâs eyes were the only thing Gon could see as Killua repeated, âI said, I love your eyes. Theyâre chocolate brown, but when weâre close like this, I can see every fleck of orange and yellow around the edges. Itâs even better when the sun hits your face because they change color completely.â
âR-really?â
âMhm. They look like melted gold,â Killua murmured and his breath ghosted across Gonâs lips.
âKillua.â Gon swallowed thickly. His heart pounded in his chest and he felt lightheaded. âWhat are you doing?â
âIâm returning the favor. Youâre not the only one who should be doing the distracting.â
Killua wasâŚtrying to seduce Gon like Gon was trying to seduce Killua? But-
âBut I want to be the one to distract you!â Gon whined.
âToo bad! You always embarrass me, itâs my turn now!â
Gonâs frown twisted into a scowl. He squeezed Killuaâs hand so tight that the pale teen wouldnât be able to pull away. âNot if I can embarrass you before you do it to me!â
Killua grounded his head against Gonâs. âIs that a challenge, Freecss? You really think you like more things about me then I like about you?!â
âYes!â he said, stubbornly ignoring the pain in his forehead.
âItâs funny that you sound so confident considering the fact that youâre wrong.â
âNo, Iâm not!â
âAre too!â
âAre not! I can name a gazillion trillion things I like about you!â
Killua made an exasperated sound. âThatâs not even a number, doofus!â
âI donât care!â Gon exploded. âI like every part of you, so no ârealâ number would ever be high enough to count everything anyway! I love the part of you that steals the blankets when we go to bed and the part that spends all our money on chocolate, I love the you that tripped down a flight of stairs when I told you I loved you, and the you thatâs too embarrassed to have our first kiss, and-â
Sweaty hands gripped his face and suddenly Killuaâs nose was squished against Gonâs cheek and his blue eyes were squeezed shut as cool lips pressed to Gonâs-
Gonâs eyes bulged.
Killua was kissing him. Killua was kissing him. Killua was kissing him!!!
Gon threw his arm around Killuaâs middle and kissed back with everything he had. He felt Killuaâs lips quirk upwards as their mouths moved together and Gonâs chest swelled until he felt like he could burst.
Killua was the only thing that mattered in this moment and every moment that would come after; he was the only thing Gon ever wanted to focus on because he was beautiful and graceful and daring and so, so brave for going through everything his family had put him through and everything Gon had done to him and coming out of it all still so amazingly bright and dazzling and incredible-
And because Gon was so completely and utterly in love with Killua for all that he was and everything that he could be, Gon let himself get lost in the miracle that was Killua Zoldyck: his soft, silver hair brushing against Gonâs forehead, his tender hands cupping Gonâs face, the scent of his sweet, strawberry shampoo, his frantic heartbeat that matched Gonâs own racing pulse.
The way those beautiful lips pressed against Gonâs so perfectly that it felt like every moment in their lives were leading up to this-
Their first kiss.
Killua pulled away with a gasp and Gon almost fell forward, chasing after Killua before he could stop himself.
Slowly, Gon opened his eyes. His mouth tingled. He raised his head and gold-brown locked with shinning azure.
They stared openly at each other, unblinking. Gonâs breathing was ragged and his face burned. His torso hurt a little from how heâd twisted sideways to meet Killuaâs kiss, but he couldnât care less about that right now. He dragged his gaze across Killuaâs scarlet stained cheeks, tousled white locks, his slightly swollen lips.
Killua never looked more beautiful than he did right now.
Gon started at Killuaâs quiet giggle. He refocused on Killua, who had one hand covering a small smile. Then Gon joined in, breathless and giddy with euphoria, and that only made Killua laugh harder. Within minutes they were clutching each otherâs arms and laughing against together in a haze of dizzy joy.
Unable to hold themselves upright, they fell sideways into the grass with a final wheeze. Killua grinned, face practically glowing with what Gon knew to be pure happiness.
Gonâs chest ached at the wonderful sight and his eyes prickled; he was overwhelmed by the sheer force of love that was rushing through every inch of his body. He was drowning in it, this affection for the stunning person lying in front of him, and he wanted to do nothing more than melt into Killuaâs embrace and never, ever leave.
âYou kissed me,â he whispered, awed.
Killuaâs eyes crinkled up at the ends. âYou were taking too long.â
Gon laughed again. His heart soared. He felt like he could walk on clouds.
âSorry,â he said with a dimpled smile. âI was too busy telling you about all the different ways I loved you.â
Killua squeezed Gonâs arms. âStupid. I knew all of that already. You donât have to remind me.â
âBut I wanted too!â Gon protested. He shifted his head and Killua met him halfway, their foreheads pressed together once more as they gazed at the otherâs face.
Gon let out a content sigh. âI like telling you about that stuff. Itâs important for you to know just how important you are to me. I donât want you to suddenly think I donât want you around anymore.â
âPffft. Your logic is so bizarre.â Killua shifted. Gonâs breath caught in his throat as Killua reached out to lightly stroke Gonâs cheek.
Killua said softly, âIâll never leave you, Gon. Never again. Iâve told you that already, havenât I? Iâm here for however long you want me.â
Gonâs smile bloomed into a wide grin. His cheeks ached but he couldnât stop smiling even if he wanted to.
He reached out to gently clasp Killuaâs chin. He rubbed this thumb over Killuaâs bottom lip and Killua inhaled sharply, face flooding with color.
Gon moved closer, so close that their mouths just barely touched. He murmured against Killuaâs parted lips, âGood. That means youâll be with me forever, then.â
He didnât wait to see Killuaâs eyes fly open wide before closing the distance between them, swallowing Killuaâs gasp with another kiss. He tugged Killua towards him and their bodies pressed against each other. Killuaâs hands were buried in Gonâs hair, legs tangled with Gonâs and his breathless laughter made each kiss sweeter than the one before.
Later- after they had stumbled back to Aunt Mitoâs house in a daze, giggling and hanging off each otherâs shoulders just so they wouldnât have to let go- Gon realized something: most people had several first kisses, one for each person they entered a serious relationship with.
But Gon had known for a long time that he was meant to be with only one person; the same person whoâd been his first friend, the same person heâd first shared a bed with from their time in Heavens Arena, the first person heâd held hands with after years of separation and loneliness, the first and only person to whom he had confessed âI love youâ.
So, his first kiss was the only first kiss he would ever receive.
And since it was with Killua, because theyâd shared this once in a lifetime experience together, it had been absolutely, one hundred percent perfect.