#m!ss

Hancock (romanced)

When he made his way to the Old State House in Goodneighbor, he got hung up by the guards below.  They didn’t recognize him anymore than the others outside had.  “Hancock’s expecting me.  Come on, you guys know me,” he insisted, his voice raspier than usual, deeper.  He gave them his name, then added, “Dating the mayor.”

“I thought Hancock was with that Minuteman General now,” one of them scoffed.  “We haven’t seen him with a ghoul in months.”

A voice came from above, drawing their attention, “Looks like that’s about to change.”  The survivor glanced up to see Hancock staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief.  

Suddenly, the fresh ghoul felt self-conscious.  He looked rather different now, so what if Hancock no longer felt that sort of attraction toward him anymore?  “Hi,” he rasped, slowly beginning to ascend the stairs as the guards moved aside.

“Hi yourself.  What happened to you?  Get hit by a Fat Man during a rad storm?”

“I decided to check out the Glowing Sea.”  His voice was apprehensive, and Hancock’s gaze narrowed in response.  

“Didn’t we agree to find you protective gear first?  I mean, I would’ve gone with you.  Not like the radiation would’ve hurt me.”

“Sorry.  I know you wanted to come, but it was... something I had to do.”

Even as a ghoul, Hancock could recognize the resolve in those dark eyes.  He shrugged, and then reached out to touch the survivor’s arm.  “I get it.”

It was stupid, but the survivor felt like he had to voice the question that was burning in his mind.  He wasn’t sure if this was the right time for it or not, but the words came tumbling out regardless.  “Do you still...?  Uh, I mean, I’d understand if you wanna cool things down or something.”

It took Hancock a moment to realize what he was talking about, and then he shook his head.  “You kidding?  I’d have to be the biggest hypocrite in the Commonwealth to be mad you’re a ghoul.  If anything, I’m honestly excited about it.”

“You are?”

“Yeah.” Hancock grinned, his hands moving to his lover’s hips.  “I’m in this for the long haul, Sunshine, and now... that haul just got much longer.”

Danse (platonic)

The moment he approaches Danse as a ghoul, he finds himself looking down the soldier’s gun.

“It’s me,” he rasps, raising his hands as he supplies his name.  

“There’s only two options here,” Danse replies with a hardness to his tone that he’s never been on the receiving end of before.  “Either a ghoul has taken both my comrade’s supplies and identity, or you’ve turned into a monster and are no longer yourself.”

“What?  No, I’m still me,” the survivor insisted, “I just went to the Glowing Sea alone, and I... I underestimated how much radiation was there.”

Seeing Danse again had honestly been something he had dreaded because he knew this scenario was definitely a possibility given the story Danse had told him about killing a comrade that had become a Super Mutant.

“Why would you disobey a direct order?  I told you to wait until we found adequate power armor and supplies,” Danse retorted, still keeping his gun trained on the ghoul.  

“Because it’s my mission.  It’s something I had to do.”

“The Institute is a threat to the entire Commonwealth.  It’s the Brotherhood’s mission, and you didn’t have to turn into a monster.  You know you can’t be a part of the Brotherhood anymore now.”

“They have my son, which means I’ll do whatever it takes to get to him.  If it means becoming a ghoul, I won’t apologize.  Finding Shaun means more to me than being a soldier.  It’s why I decided to rejoin the civilian workforce after he was born.”

Danse lowered his gun a fraction, his resolve wavering.  “The Brotherhood comes before everything.  Even your life.”

“Not this.  Are you going to shoot me like you shot your Super Mutant friend?”

It was both a low blow and a risky tactic, but it paid off.  Danse appeared stricken and slowly shook his head.  “I stand by that decision.  It’s what he would’ve wanted.  But, I won’t shoot you.  I can’t say the same for the others though.”

Things with Danse become tense after that.  He no longer makes eye contact, and the interactions are curt and even more to-the-point than before.  It will take him a long time to get over his preconceived notions, but the more time he spends with him, the more he begins to see the survivor’s mannerisms shine through his new ghoulish face.       

Danse (romantic)

The interaction goes exactly as stated above up until --

“Why would you disobey a direct order?  I told you to wait until we found adequate power armor and supplies,” Danse retorted, still keeping his gun trained on the ghoul.  

“Because it’s my mission.  It’s something I had to do.  You don’t give me orders, Danse.”

“We’re supposed to be a team,” Danse’s voice is rising.  “We do these missions together.  If I had been there, this wouldn’t have happened.”

He was right, but the survivor was too stubborn to admit it to his face.  Not while his lover was holding a gun to his own face, that is.  “I can’t change what happened any more than you can change what you are, Danse.”

“I didn’t choose this,” he immediately spat.

“Yet you never saw me draw a gun on you for it!”  The survivor’s anger was rising with the fury he saw on the former soldier’s face.  “Are you going to shoot me just because your boyfriend’s a ghoul now?”

Danse grimaced, dropping his aim.  “Dammit, of course I’m not.  I just... I needed to think.  I don’t know if this is something I can get past.”

The ghoul flinched a little; he had been expecting this all along.  Even with the revelation of Danse being a synth, it hadn’t changed the soldier’s personality.  If anything, he was still struggling to get rid of his own self-loathing over it.  It was too much to ask him to accept this while he was still coming to grips with what he was.

“Okay.  That’s okay,” the ghoul murmured, even though it wasn’t.  “I know it’s a big adjustment.  We can take it slow.”

The way Danse looked at him from now on changed, and he couldn’t stand it.  They slowly drifted apart until they inevitably broke up.  

MacCready (platonic)

“The fuck-- er hell -- heck-- happened to you?”  

MacCready fumbled over the words, flustered as he stared at his now-ghoul best friend.  The survivor proceeded to explain what had happened out in The Glowing Sea, while the mercenary slowly shook his head.  

“We could’ve... hell, I would’ve probably done the same.  Does it... does it hurt?” he awkwardly asked, examining the ghoul’s ravaged face.  

“Not anymore,” the survivor admitted, and MacCready nodded, though looked grim.

“You’re lucky you didn’t die.  But, hey, look at the bright side.  Now you can go to the Glowing Sea all you want.  No more Rad-X and Rad Away to worry about, plus you’re practically immortal as far as aging goes.”

“That is an impressive list of pros,” the ghoul claimed, a genuine smile crossing his face -- one that MacCready mirrored.  The fact that he became a ghoul didn’t change anything with MacCready; he was used to their appearances.  

MacCready (romanced)

“The fuck-- er hell -- heck-- happened to you?  Are you okay?”

MacCready hesitantly reached out and touched his face, prodding the trenches seared within the flesh to see if they were tender.  Concern creased his brow, and it was obvious to see that he was panicking.  

“I’m fine.  I just underestimated The Glowing Sea,” rasped the ghoul, trying to shrug off the concern.  He felt embarrassed of the scrutiny -- and the fact that he had gone there alone, without informing his boyfriend.  “I didn’t think this would happen.”

“You could’ve died!  You don’t just go into somewhere like that alone,” the merc insisted, his hand falling.  “I’m here to watch your back.”

“I know, I just... thought it would be okay.”

MacCready sighed.  “I’m still mad.”

“I made it back in one piece, didn’t I?”

He shook his head.  “You’re missing your nose.”

The survivor grimaced; that was probably the part of the transformation that bothered him the most.  It felt strange, having a nasal cavity there instead.  “Oh yeah.  I, uh... understand if this changes things.”

“What things?  Your ability to wear glasses?” MacCready snorted.

“I --” That caught him by surprise, and he chuckled.  “No, I meant between us.”

He looked startled, as if he had never even considered it.  “What, you take me for shallow?  So you got a bit irradiated and lost your nose.”  He shrugged.  “It happens.”  

"This is perfect. Almost looks as good as it did in the postcards." The Overboss said, gleefully holding up a faded image of a forest-side cabin in a postcard. He held it up next to the shambles that remained of it over 200 years later, just a few walls and a crumbling roof dangling between them. 

"Yeah-huh. Perfect." Gage repeated him, smiling at the thought of throwing down their travel packs and taking a load off for the night. There was a few cans of cram with his name on it and the air smelled strange, almost good, being this far away from Nuka Town's deathly stench. His Overboss was a real wiz at getting fires going, all he needed was a few pieces of the fallen walls, some dried leaves and a fast bullet to get a nice little blaze started. His Overboss, who refused to give him any name other than "Chac" (Kind of a stupid sounding name, but whatever) had been overly pleasant since they'd gotten away from East Boston. 

"Look at you, havin' a good time." Gage sits back, watching his unusual boss dancing in place while he stabbed open some cans of food and ate them on the spot. 

"Owww~ I feel good! da na na na na na na~" Chac sang, gravy dripping under his chin before spitting out what looked like fossilized food into the fire with a sizzle. Gage loved to watch him, he was real funny when he was so full of life like this, it's been a while since he even seen the guy crack a smile. 

"You sure you ain't on somethin', boss? Y'been bouncin' off the damn walls for the past hour now." Gage found it hard to keep up with him sometimes, the guy just looked so high on life right now. 

"Don't like it, huh?" Chac threw his can into the fire, shrugging off his jacket and using it to form a cushion for where he planned on sitting. 

"Nah, It's friggin' great. I like seein' ya happy. Makes me happy." Gage refuted him, in the solitude and dark like this, far away from everyone, he suddenly wanted to be close to him. 

"Well look at us, just two happy guys having a little camp-out." Chac squatted next to the fire and took a big swig of water, warming his tattooed hands by the growing blaze.  

Gage inched up to him and followed suit, feeling a creaking in his aging knees. He stole the metal bottle from his Overboss and gladly shared the drink with him, loving this moment but feeling unsure of something- why was the guy so happy go lucky all of a sudden? Earlier today as they left Nuka World he was cranky at best, irritable and barely anything to talk to. 

"Glad you joined me, Gorgeous." Chac reached out and patted Gage's tan arm, the guy shooting him a testy glance. He hadn't heard that one in a while, either. "What, done with callin' me PG?" Gage falls back on his ass and gets comfortable next to him. Firelight smoothed out all the weathering of Gage's face, illuminated the lines of age around his eyes and mouth and made him look good. Real good. 

"Mmhm, Nothing PG about what I'm thinking, the way you look right now." his Overboss was a real flirt, and Gage actually felt bashful at all this talk; he never did get used to it. The joke flew over his head-

"No idea what yer sayin, but I'll take it." Gage relaxed as he listened to his Overboss' pleased humming. He had to ask him though, why?

"Really, Boss. What made you so perky all of a sudden?" 

"Food Poisoning, maybe." He lies, and Gage just scoffs.

"I don't think that's what it is. C'mon, Boss. What are you on right now?"

"Ugh, i think it is food poisoning." He repeats himself, holding his stomach. Gage started to get irritated, wondering maybe the guy was huffing Jet when he had his back turned- "Oh god." Chac gurgled, lifting up from his seat and ripping ass so loud it made Gage leap up and crawl away from him-.

"Ah fer fuck's sake, Boss! I had my damn mouth open." His partner was getting cranky, and likewise the boss has had enough of the questioning, something Gage had been doing more often lately.

"I'm glad that's over." Chac states, sitting back down and wrapping his arms around his knees, closing himself off from any more questions. But still, his partner persisted-

"I'm being serious right now. Seems like every time we get the heck away from Nuka World, yer a different guy, boss. Fuck, I can scarcely even look at'cha when we're at the park, like yer gunna fuckin' bite my head off." "It aint you, Gage. It never is you, and I'm not mad now so why you gotta keep bringing it up?" His overboss took a hunk of ancient plywood and lugged it onto the fire, cinders skittering to the tips of Gage's shoes.

"Cuz it's annoyin' as shit, man! I don't care if it ain't me!" Gage plopped himself down well out of arms reach from Chac, lighting up a stale cigarette and merely holding it, concentrating his blinded gaze on the smoke. "It might as well be me, because I'm the first fuckin' person who gets your rotten attitude. But look at you, out here, bein' all sweet and shit. I don't get you." Gage huffed harshly, taking a drag of his smoke and holding it tight inside his chest. The drug may have been old, but it worked.

Chac merely ignored him for the moment, deep in thought. This has been a long time coming, this talk. Gage was no good at it, feelings, but lately he'd been the one needing to bring it up more since shit got too much at Nuka World. The real reason why he was so happy right now? Because he wasn't at Nuka World. 

"Fine then, don't answer me." Gage spat on the fire, revolted. He didn't want to look at his Overboss and that deadpan look he got on his face now. Shaking his head in disappointment, the older raider chose to keep quiet.

"..." Chac toed a piece of rubble to form a better guard between him and the flame. He watched Gage from across the fire, how he pulled off his armor and his eyepatch, revealing the still-living but blind eye underneath. Thoughts flashed before his mind of a life abandoning Porter, leaving him with Nuka World in the dust. The pain alone that creeped inside him was just enough to get him to talk.

"I get that way because running Nuka World is a fucking nightmare, Gage." Chac let it out, and it was true. Porter looked at him in shock, as if he himself wasn't sharing the same amount of stress over it these days. "Every day some new bullshit comes up. The power struggles, the bootlicking, the assassins? It's a fucking miserable shit hole back there, and you know it." 

"What are you trying to say, Boss? You don't got the stomach for it anymore?" Gage let the cigarette burn to the filter, crushing it under his heel and immediately lighting a new one. His heart was in his guts right now.

"You know what I'm trying to say." Chac starts-

"No, I don't. Please, enlighten me." Gage retorts, clearly pissed off. Chac could see the flash of his gold teeth as he worried his lip, something he learned Gage was prone to do when he was stressed.

"I'm saying that Nuka World is a fucking prison." 

Nothing was said, a painful sort of silence above the crackling wood. 

"...But how? I know the Raiders are pissin' you off, but look, boss, you got the entire park running. We're gunna own the commonwealth, and you wanna say it's a friggin' prison?" 

"I want my freedom back." Chac states, Gage doing a doubletake- freedom? How could losing everything be..

"How could losing it all be freedom to you?" Gage leans in, something inside him breaking at the idea of his Overboss wanting to leave-

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Chac pushed himself up to stand, crossing his arms defiantly. Gage found himself once again looking up at him, caught in a flurry of confusion. What he said struck Gage deep...freedom. Nothing holding him down. 

"-And I can't think of myself as free until I don't have to worry about the next time Mason will threaten to tar and feather me." He thought, adding - "Or Nisha wanting to skin me and wear my body as a man suit. Shit like that, this dread, it's a prison. So if you want to know why I'm nice when I'm not in Nuka Town, well, there's your answer." 

"You can't leave. Fuck em up if you have to, but don't leave. This entire operation runs on you." Gage watched him like a hawk, refusing to stand and face him eye to eye on this.

"It's collapsing from the bottom up. It's a pipe dream, Gage. I can leave, but the real question is, can you leave Nuka World?"

He had it. Gage shot up from his seat and got in his overbosses' face, scant inches taller than him "The hell you just say to me? You askin' me to drop everything I've worked for, for the past 4 fuckin' years and just go fuck myself like I ain't poured my whole life into it?" 

Chac remained calm, hands at his sides. He knew Gage would be hurt, I mean, why wouldn't he be? 

"Yeah. I expect you to. Cuz' you're smart.You aren't willing to die for a lost cause." 

Gage reeled back and slugged his Overboss in the face so hard the both of them fell. His Overboss' dreads threatened to light on fire as they scrambled on the ground beside it, Gage climbing on top of Chac and winding up his fist for another haymaker-

"Burn in hell!" He screams, his voice harsh with emotions he so often hid. "You fuckin' asshole!" He slugged Chac again, blood on his knuckles and on the gravel below. All the times he hit his boss then, it did nothing to quell the truth that the Nuka World dream was crumbling. He was about to strike Chac again before the roof of their ramshackle hideout began to drop dust on them from above. Gypsum peppered Gage's mohawk and Chac's bloodied face, his Overboss looking up at his partner.

"...You can't leave me." Gage repeated himself, panting hard. Chac used that time to throw off the Southerner, scuttling back until as soon as their fight started, it was over. 

"I never said anything about leaving you." Chac panted, wiping blood off his face and onto his jeans "When shit hits the fan, and it will, I expect you to leave with me. With our heads intact." 

Gage shook his head, refusing to believe this. Partners for a year... more than partners, and then this? Gage didn't want whatever life awaited without his overboss. It'd be shit. Everything would go to shit. 

"I gotta get the fuck away from you. Don't follow me." Porter says, flatly. He picks up his flashlight and gun, and walks out into the wastes. Chac's eyes followed him until there was nothing but darkness, and chose to sit flush against the wall. If Gage needed space, let him have it. 

Gage stomped through the wasted wilderness for what felt like only a few moments. He came to a road overlooking a cliff, and saw Diamond City's dazzling lights far in the distance. Perching his ass on a traffic barrier, he let his anger consume him. What the fuck was he going to do about this? Nuka World wasn't doing good, yeah, He would admit that...but the boss running out on them? Might as well nuke the place. Gage felt betrayed in the worst possible way. 

"Gunna fuckin' kill him." He whispers to himself, forgetting his smokes back at camp. What he said resounded in his head. Kill him....That's what Gage promised himself he'd do if the Overboss didn't work out, right? Just fuckin..kill him? Gage looked at the gun in his trembling hands and bit his lip hard. He had to kill him. Chac was the overboss, there wasn't any other that would hold a candle to him.