#shaun

1. The Man Who Sold the World by David Bowie

I think the title is really descriptive of exactly who Shaun has grown up to be.

“We spoke of was and when / Although I wasn’t there / He said I was his friend”

These lines feel like they directly relate to catching up with a loved one separated by time for me. I could totally see them resonating with the Sole Survivor upon reuniting with Father

“I spoke into his eyes / I thought you died alone / A long, long time ago / Oh no, not me / I never lost control / You’re face to face / With the man who sold the world”

These lines read to me as Shaun speaking to their parent for the first time, especially when he says he wasn’t sure you’d even survive, and dotes on how remarkable it is to him that you not only did but broke into the Institute—something he has never seen in his entire lifetime.

The later lines reflect his control issues caused by his horrific upbringing, and the early childhood experience of having his other parent murdered while he was in their arms and being kidnapped from them.

If Shaun had not been okay with the Sole Survivor coming into the Institute, he would not have been tracking them, or even released them. Shaun was ready for the Sole Survivor to teleport in. He was waiting, and had a whole speech prepared. He’d been thinking of ways to explain everything to them.

The final two lines resonate with his reveal that not only is he your son, but he’s the leader of the Institute, an organization which by this point in the game the Sole Survivor has learned is perceived as an extremely bad guy above ground

“I laughed and shook his hand / And made my way back home / I searched for form and land / For years and years I roamed”

The line about laughing reads to me as a Sole Survivor who maybe is in shock, or a player who uses the sarcastic option upon reuniting with Shaun.

The second and third lines reference the transition of going back above ground as they process everything, and the last one could reference the emotional experience of searching every inch of the Commonwealth and tracking down Kellogg to ultimately find out the truth about their son

2. Let Down by Radiohead

“Transport, motorways, and tram lines / Starting and then stopping, taking off and landing / The emptiest of feelings, disappointed people / Clinging onto bottles, when it comes, it’s so, disappointing”

The first line resonates with the experience of first seeing all of the destroyed roads, highways, and transportation infrastructure among the other decimated landscape when waking up from the vault, but more directly to Shaun standing on the roof of the C.I.T. building and taking in the Commonwealth for himself for the first time. I also think both the first and second line combined could represent the ridiculousness of the war to the Sole Survivor, everything being destroyed, and for what? Resources.

The third and fourth lines are representative of the way citizens have coped centuries later, and how normalized substance use and abuse is in the Commonwealth. No one expects anything to change, especially if you do the Minutemen route. Settlers are surprised when someone shows up to help them, surprised you come back after having resolved their complaint, everyone is surprised when you help them. I think it takes a different tone when applied to Shaun however, what will the Sole Survivor’s friends think when they return? I think a major thing Bethesda left out was some sort of conversation with their companions, where they ask how it went, where Shaun is, what it was like, how they survived and express their gratitude that you did etc..

“Crushed like a bug in the ground / Let down and hanging around / … / Legs are going don’t get sentimental / It always ends up drivel”

I think the revelation of how old Shaun is, and that the Sole Survivor has missed everything would make them feel like a crushed radroach, continuing to engage with Shaun and try to bridge that gap is them hanging around despite being let down, trying to get their legs going underneath them again.

For Shaun, I think this is representative of becoming sick and finding out that he has limited time left, before going “what the heck” and releasing his remaining parent from cryostasis, rushing to create Synth Shaun as a way to help them—which I think is what he was doing. It may come out mangled in conversation, but I think Shaun wanted to help them.

The others in the Institute didn’t understand, because genetically his emotions had not been borderline bred out, it wasn’t something generations of people with his DNA had to learn—to have the opposite of empathy. He did his best, but this was the one area I think Shaun really did not “outshine” (I use quotes because personally I do not find emotional stuntedness a desirable characteristic unlike the Institute) his peers in.

I think the idea of not getting sentimental is something the Sole Survivor faces at this point, but more so something Shaun deeply experiences upon meeting them for the first time. He’s clearly excited, he's like a little kid that wants to show their parent all his achievements and be congratulated, told they’re proud of him, and have his work hung up on the fridge. You can see him holding himself back. He’s extremely emotionally stunted because of the environment he grew up in.

It always ends up drivel is in reference to how things always end up in the Commonwealth—which isn’t a belief only Shaun holds by the way, the people of the Commonwealth believe that too before you are unfrozen

“One day, I am gonna grow wings, a chemical reaction / Hysterical and useless, hysterical…”

I think the first line applies very well to Shaun knowing the end is near, and the fear and sadness he feels reflecting on his life being reframed as “a chemical reaction” because scientific explanations are almost all he’s known. This is resolidified for me when you go through certain conversation trees and he says “I have had no love to feel, you have to understand”

Hysterical and useless seems like him talking to himself and telling himself not to overreact about the impending health situation he is in, or something that is out of his control

3. Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) Remaster by John Lennon

“Close your eyes / Have no fear / The monster’s gone, he’s on the run / And your daddy’s here”

I think in some small way the Sole Survivor’s presence does comfort Shaun despite his fear. I also think the use of the word “monster” is interesting, as the Commonwealth views the Institute as a monster, but the Sole Survivor does not immediately have to worry about this after relaying in, because the most important person in the Institute loves and finds them important. There is no monster for the Sole Survivor. Shaun’s dad (or mom/other parent) is there to make him feel better. In a way he does get the experience of being taken care of by a parent while he’s sick that he was robbed of as a child.

“Beautiful boy / … / Every day in every way / It’s getting better and better”

I feel like parents telling their babies they’re beautiful growing up is such a classic thing, and the game specifically makes sure the player gets a chance to dote on Shaun both in his crib and again before you’re frozen. I think for it getting better, Shaun’s plans that he wants to enact before he passes away get closer and closer every time he sees his parent, because of his parent’s hard work.

“I can hardly wait / To see you come of age / But I guess we’ll both just have to be patient / Cause it’s a long way to go”

In the introduction depending on what you interact with before the bombs drop, the Sole Survivor may say “I wonder what Shaun’ll grow up to be” and “Can’t wait to teach him how to ride this [his tricycle]” and “To think, one day he’s going to learn how to drive” which reminds me specifically of lines 1 - 3. I can’t help but think the day the nukes dropped the Sole Survivor was likely thinking it was a long way away seeing Shaun grow up and getting to see all of his accomplishments

“Take my hand / Life is what happens to you / While you’re busy making other plans”

I can imagine the Sole Survivor would hold Shaun’s hand on his death bed, especially as Shaun wants their presence when he is dying if you choose the Institute ending. I personally feel as though the ending came so fast, without me realizing what was going on the first time I played. I tried to be thorough and thought I was being, but I now realize I was nowhere near as thorough as I am every time I play now. There is foreshadowing that this is the way it was going to end for him. But personally I kept feeling and thinking “Once I’m done with this quest I can get to know him more” and then I’d do the quest for him, and he’d send me on another one and I’d go “Once this quest is over maybe I can get to know him more” over and over until suddenly all our time together had happened, and he was in his bed dying

“Darlin’, darlin’, darlin’ / Darlin’ Sean / Goodnight Sean / See you in the morning / Bright and early”

I feel like these lines are pretty self explanatory. This song is about a boy named Sean, and our son is named Shaun. But equally as strong is the hushed “Goodnight Sean, see you in the morning” for me, because it does sound just like a parent saying goodnight to their newborn or toddler and promising to see them again soon

4. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

“The world was on fire and no one could save me but you / It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do / I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you / And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you”

The first line really emphasizes the shock of losing everything you’ve ever known, watching your partner be taken from you in a way where you can never get them back, and then having your last tie to your life before be violently stolen from you. The word choice of “the world was on fire” really strengthens the idea that a nuke is being dropped for me.

The second line feels like the Sole Survivor reflecting on the journey to find Shaun once they reunite with him, even more so for one that is questioning what it was all for, if it was even worth it, and if they want to pursue something with Shaun at all given the complexity of the situation. For Shaun specifically, I think the crisis he felt learning how sick he was, and craving something he was robbed of as a kid, and emotional warmth (because everyone around him has had generations and generations to breed out any emotional reaction, let alone empathy or sympathy for another person—Shaun’s emotions read to me that growing up in the Institute and expressing emotions gets you punished, just like with what happens to Quentin Filmore). I think this is emphasized if the Sole Survivor does not side with the Institute, and could easily see Father beating himself up on his death bed about being a fool and trusting the wrong person/the others being right and now everyone is in danger because of his choices.

I can’t imagine Father ever thought he’d get to meet his other parent, similarly I doubt the Sole Survivor ever wanted to come face to face with the most allegedly evil and terrifying person in the world (which the evilness holds up really well because Shaun does not think he’s evil and if it’s your first time playing, at least for me it was easy for me to not think I was being evil either with only his and the Institute’s input on everything they were doing). I also don’t think that the Sole Survivor had ever considered they’d be upset about losing said evil person, or for Shaun, I don’t think he’d ever considered losing a parent he'd grown close to

“This world is only gonna break your heart / What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way / What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you / What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way”

I think the first line does a really good job of explaining Father’s thoughts on the Commonwealth, and why it would be a waste of everyone’s time and the Institute’s resources to invest anything more in it. The second one is very representative of how it feels to learn your son, the reason you’ve put in all this work and made the world a better place and tried to take on the worst organization—something everyone in the Commonwealth besides them can agree on, including you —is the very thing you’re fighting against.

The next couple of lines express what it feels like to be at odds with yourself and realize you have to either choose him, or the friends you’ve made on the surface. You can’t have both. The other won’t let you. There’s a particular line, where the Sole Survivor can spit that they’ve dreamed of seeing what Shaun would grow up to be, and that they’re so disappointed and disgusted in him that the last two lines really evoke for me

“I’d never dreamed that I’d love somebody like you”

I feel like this line sums up the experience of meeting Shaun for the first time really well for the Sole Survivor

5. Cool About It by boygenius

“I ask you easy questions about work and school / I’m tryin’ to be cool about it / Feelin’ like an absolute fool about it / Wishin’ you were kind enough to be cruel about it / Tellin’ myself I can always do without it / Knowin’ that it probably isn’t true”

I think the first three do a good job representing Shaun trying to get to know his parent, while also feeling silly because to him emotional responses to anything are ridiculous and awkward. He probably feels awkward and a little embarrassed at how excited he is to get to know his parent. The third one I think is a very human reaction, wanting someone to just shut it down before something you really want even begins to avoid the pain of feeling silly for wanting and pursuing a connection with someone, or rejected trying to go after something you really want.

The last two I think are a good representation of how Shaun probably felt receiving intel about where the Sole Survivor was seen and what they’ve been up to before they arrive at the Institute.

“I came prepared for absolution if you’d only ask / So I take some offense when you say, “No regrets” / I remember it’s impossible to pass your test”

The first two lines remind me distinctly of the Battle of Bunker Hill, specifically if the Sole Survivor frees the synths the Institute is trying to reclaim, once Shaun confronts you on the roof of the C.I.T. ruins. The third line feels like the same situation but from the Sole Survivor’s point of view

“But I’m tryin’ to forget about it / Feelin’ like I’m breakin’ a sweat about it / Wishin’ you would kindly get out of my head about it / Tellin’ myself one day I’ll forget about it / Knowin’ that it probably isn’t true”

These lines feel like Shaun’s inner dialogue and thoughts if his parent chooses not to proceed with the Institute after the Battle of Bunker Hill. I could also see “Feelin’ like I’m breakin’ a sweat about it” as the way Shaun would feel before the board of directors if the Sole Survivor frees the synths at Bunker Hill but chooses to proceed with the Institute anyway.

“Once, I took your medication to know what it’s like / And now I have to act like I can’t read your mind / I ask you how you’re doing and I let you lie / But we don’t have to talk about it / I can walk you home and practice method acting”

These lines feel very much to me like how the Sole Survivor would feel if they discovered Shaun’s medical records and realized everything was a cry for help ahead of time, especially because Shaun lies by omission to his parent until he physically can’t about his illness. The last couple of lines feel like a family member trying to understand another family member with an illness that they don’t want to talk about or acknowledge and trying to pretend everything is normal for their sake

“I’ll pretended bein’ with you doesn’t feel like drowning / Tellin’ you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing / Even though we know it isn’t true”

The first line is what it feels like lying to Shaun about siding with the Institute when in reality you are going to turn against them for me. Alternatively when replaying the Institute ending this is exactly how it feels knowing how the story ends and that you lose him and everyone else if you choose that ending. The last two lines remind me of Shaun’s death scene in bed if you choose the Institute ending. Specifically if you ask him how he feels or if he’s okay

6. The Cut That Always Bleeds by Conan Grey

“I don’t love you anymore / A pretty line that I adore / Five words that I’ve heard before”

I can only imagine this is how Shaun feels if you tell him that you can’t join him or when you betray him, and that he must feel awful and like an idiot for letting you out—just like how everyone else feels about him and this experiment.

“‘Cause if you’re gonna leave, better leave, better do it fast / … / ‘Cause you know what you’re doin’ when you’re comin’ back / And I don’t wanna have another heart attack / Oh, I can’t be your lover on a leash / Every other week, when you please”

The first few lines evoke how I imagine Shaun must feel taking a risk and letting the Sole Survivor into the Institute, especially when he isn’t sure whether or not you will betray him or if you’re trustworthy

The last two lines remind me of the tipping point in the story where the player is forced to decide which faction to proceed with, and can’t continue to string all of them along anymore

“Oh, I can’t be … / The lie between your teeth / The cut that always bleeds (x2) / Say you love somebody new / Then beat my heart to black and blue / Then they leave, and it’s me you come back to”

The first few lines reinforce the emotion of the tipping point in the story. “Say you love somebody new” feels like it could be interpreted as Shaun’s perspective if you tell him you can’t proceed with the Institute and he has to tell you that you will regrettably have to be an enemy. I feel like “Then beat my heart to black and blue” does a good job representing how it really does feel like breaking an old man’s heart that’s been broken his entire life to me to turn Shaun down, and the last line is what it feels like to tell other factions you’re on their side (or to tell Shaun that) and be lying.

“To say you loved me all along / And kiss the bruises ‘til they’re gone / Bittersweet ‘cause I can’t breathe inside your arms / … / Can’t live another minute bleedin’ from my back / ‘Cause I don’t have another one for you to stab”

The first two lines reinforce the last point to further. I think the third describes how it feels to be the Sole Survivor in this situation.

The last two are representative of again having to choose between Shaun and the rest of the Commonwealth, and what it feels like for me to put myself in the Sole Survivor’s shoes and have to choose between the thing they wanted most in the world—to get their son back and have a connection with him (the last shred of normalcy they have left) and the world they’ve come to know and love along with their friends and the support system they’ve built

“(Ooh) but even though you’re killing me, yeah / (Ooh) I need you like the air I breathe / (Ooh) I need, I need you more than me / I need you more than anything / (Ooh) please, please”

I can only imagine what it would be like to be in the Sole Survivor’s position, or Shaun’s, but I feel like these lines do a good job representing that, whether it’s the Sole Survivor lying to Shaun through their teeth and siding with him against their morals, or Shaun begging for a real, tangible connection with someone for the first time in his entire life as his last wish. The pleading especially gets me, and feels representative of their strained and complicated relationship with each other

7. Futile Devices (Doveman Remix) by Sufjan Stevens

“It’s been a long, long time / Since I’ve memorized your face / It’s been four hours now / Since I’ve wandered through your place”

I feel like these lyrics are representative of the feeling of seeing Shaun’s face again for the Sole Survivor after so long, and taking in seeing him all grown up. The last two lines when paired with the melancholy instrumental soundtrack elicit for me a feeling of sadness from knowing you can’t live in the Institute as the Sole Survivor, before telling Shaun

“And when I sleep on your couch I feel very safe / And when you bring the blankets / I cover up my face / I do / Love you / I do / Love you”

These again evoke the sadness of knowing you can’t side with the Institute, and pleading and desperately trying to convince Shaun that you do love him (or Shaun trying to convince the Sole Survivor that he loves them) despite the incompatibility of their situations

“And when you play guitar / I listen to the strings buzz / The metal vibrates underneath your fingers / And when you crochet / I feel mesmerized and proud”

Although Shaun doesn’t play guitar I can imagine such a traumatic situation would result in his parent (or him with his parent) trying to memorize everything they can about each other before they know their time together comes to an end. I can also see Shaun being proud of his parent if his parent complies with his requests seamlessly, or his parent being incredibly proud of him and all his hard work over his lifetime—even if they can’t support him and the Institute, even if they’re extremely conflicted about it all

“And I would say I love you / But saying it out loud is hard / So I won’t say it at all / And I won’t stay very long / But you are the life I needed all along”

I think this once again ties in with the pressure put on Shaun to not be externally emotional, both because of the Institute’s internal pressure, and (assuming it exists) toxic masculinity in the universe.

The last two lines feel like they could be interpreted as Shaun not staying long in the Sole Survivor’s life even if they side with the Institute, or guilt from wanting or needing something for once in his life, and the fulfillment of comfort from having a parent, and someone who cares about him truly for the first time, the last point being true for the Sole Survivor from their perspective as well (ESPECIALLY because living in the Institute would be more similar to what they were used to from 200 years ago than what exists on the surface for them in 2277)

8. Everyone Adores You (at least I do) by Matt Maltese

“You can act all shy / But you know that I want you / In the dead of night / I want to live with you / So terrified of the road that takes you / Me too”

I feel like the first two lines represent how excited Shaun is about getting to know his parent when he first meets them, and in a way, he is shy and withdrawn despite his obvious excitement he’s trying to keep from bubbling over or showing in his voice.

The last four lines seem like his perspective and/or his parent’s if they decide they cannot work with the Institute, and the longing to know each other that might remain after they become enemies

“Don’t modify, everyone adores you / At least I do”

This song really speaks to me because I feel like it’s emphasized time and time again that everyone loves Father because his life is the basis of Gen 3 synths and the majority of the Institute’s modern work. That said, the more you learn, the more people seem to resent Father (and likely the synths too, though they are unable to speak up about it without risking having their minds erased), which is where the line “At least I do” comes in. Because at least his parent does

“Right where your father died / I’ll hold on to your hand”

This speaks to me especially if the Sole Survivor is Nora and feels like a nod to the beginning of the game, but could also be looked at as (although somewhat modified) Father dying in his bed, and the Sole Survivor holding his hand on Shaun’s death bed.

“Everybody has you up on their wall sometimes / Everybody thinks of you when they sleep at night”

This feels like reinforcement to me for the idea that everybody loves Shaun

9. I’m Not Them by Them & I

“If I could waste another life / I’d give my all to your eyes / No matter who I change into / I always wind up missing you”

I feel like this is how the Sole Survivor would feel. They’d be daydreaming about what another life would look like if the nukes hadn’t dropped and they were able to raise Shaun themselves and give him a normal loving life.

The last two lines feel like they could equally apply to the Sole Survivor or Shaun, in the sense that no matter what role they each fill in their world, they will both wonder “What if” and dream about what they could’ve had if things had just worked out differently

“If I could stay another night / Would it be enough to change your mind? / Maybe we will meet again”

I think about a world in which Shaun doesn’t immediately kick out the Sole Survivor when they have a different view on the future of humanity when I hear these lines. Or where he listens when they advocate for synths, or even if he doesn’t listen but tries to have a relationship with them anyway. A universe in which things are not all or nothing all the time, which I think “If I could stay another night, would it be enough to change your mind?” does a great job explaining.

Maybe we will meet again feels like a recurring theme of Shaun and the Sole Survivor longing to have a connection with each other, and having stupidly optimistic hope that they will be able to, even when it is obvious they won’t. I also feel like the title of this song is great with “Everybody adores you” given the context of the game, and how you cannot always just say yes to Shaun even though those around him (somewhat) seem to have done that for the majority of his life, at least that’s how it is described by members of the Institute. In reality I feel like a lot of things were out of his control, and the idea that he won’t “bend” is based off of him bending 99% of the time and being unwilling to bend at all the 1% although may be me stretching the projection. The extreme amount of trauma I feel like his character has gone through even just socially really resonates with me personally

10. Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens

“Boundless by the time I cried / I built your walls around me / White noise, what an awful sound”

I feel like Shaun really has nothing tying him to the Institute emotionally. In a way, just like the Sole Survivor because they are from another time, Shaun has no real support system. He has no family and no friends or loved ones, a lot of people in the Institute seem to despise him despite saying great things about him when asked. Tons of terminal entries show they don’t like him and actually resent or hate him instead. It’s really sad. When he found out he was sick, he likely only had himself and the doctor to fall back on, and knowing members of the Institute, his doctor was only there to provide medical support, and likely was unable to provide any emotional or mental support, or Shaun was uncomfortable requesting it beyond wanting his medical files redacted. Because of this, he seeks someone who will understand the need he has for emotional connection, protection, and support. A small version of himself as a child, and his parent. He builds protective walls around himself. He probably would have cried by himself finding out he was terminally sick

White noise what an awful sound makes me think of the Sole Survivor and how they probably feel at night walking around the Institute (the Institute probably uses group white noise to sleep) as an artificial substitute for crickets outside of their quarters. I think this line is also representative of the idea that Shaun seems to have grown to internally resent the Institute in contrast with his adamant statements of love for it and insistence that it is everything to him, and the future of humanity. Maybe he was okay with taking a risk that might cause the destruction and demise of the Institute, maybe it wasn’t that he didn’t listen to others, maybe he was choosing to take that risk—it wasn’t a win-win to him.

“Feel my feet above the ground / Hand of God deliver me / Oh, oh woah-oh-woe is me”

I feel like this song does a great job describing the progression of the main storyline in Fallout 4. Immediately after the former plot points, Shaun feels his feet above the ground on the C.I.T. rooftop, God delivering him by allowing his goals in the Institute to succeed, or, alternatively, through his death. The woe-is-me could be a mocking of his suffering (although he has definitely suffered quite a bit) because compared to the average Commonwealth citizen (ESPECIALLY because a lot of it is at the hands of the Institute) it doesn’t compare that well.

“Cursed by the love that I received / … / Like Hephaestion who died / Alexander’s lover”

The Sole Survivor’s love could have felt like a fucked up joke to Shaun, because despite how much they love each other, the capacity in which they need love from the other is incompatible, so it feels like that love doesn’t exist at all. They are forced to let each other down because of their circumstances. I can especially see the Sole Survivor’s love being a curse to him with the Railroad ending, where essentially the player conspires with and commits espionage against him.

As for Hephaestion’s death, it was handled extremely poorly by Alexander. Similarly the game attempts to show the player how easily they can be persuaded into making the world a worse place like Alexander did, with rash actions motivated by the emotional connection it tries to build between them and Shaun

“Now I’m prone to misery / The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me / How much sorrow can I take? Blackbird on my shoulder”

I feel like the reunion of Shaun and the Sole Survivor is the beginning of the end. From that point on, neither of them will be happy. It’s impossible: Their fate is sealed. The birthmark on your shoulder feels like something the Sole Survivor could reflect on about Shaun, something that humanizes him, and reminds them that once he was so little, and is just a person at the end of the day.

The question “How much sorrow can I take?” seems like a huge theme of both the Sole Survivor’s life and Shaun’s. They both experience extreme loss, and if the player chooses a happy ending, the only difference is they cope in opposite ways. Regardless of the decision made they both lose everything.

Blackbird on my shoulder reminds me of the crows the Institute controls. Especially because crows are symbolic of death and the end, just as the Institute is a hallmark of nearing the end of the story.

Overall Mystery of Love feels like a very Shaun-coded song to me.

11. Strangers by Elton John

“Two people caught on a string / A high-wire act above the center ring”

Shaun and the Sole Survivor are stuck in an impossible position. I think a high wire is a great metaphor for this.

“Overhead and under fire / While the audience enquire / If it’s just a knack / Strangers, after all we find we’re strangers / After all this time”

Overhead and under fire really emphasizes how impossible the situation they are in is to me, and helps visualize how both sides are pulling Shaun and his parent away from each other in a way neither of them are able to overpower. The audience enquiring if it’s just a knack feels like the people surrounding them not thinking it’s serious, despite the two of them going through an indescribable amount of suffering that only the other would understand, and Shaun will only be able to seek complete and total comfort over with his parent.

The final two lines emphasize where Shaun and the Sole Survivor end up if the player chooses a good ending.

“We’ve made the long and lonely climb / And now we’ve reached the part / Where we find we’re strangers / We were strangers from the start”

These lines strengthen the last point for me, because Shaun and his parent are strangers from the moment they wake up from cryostasis, to the end of Shaun’s life, arguably even if you choose the Institute ending in an attempt to get to know Shaun as well as you can.

“And both afraid to approach the side”

I think this is the real reason Shaun doubles down on the Commonwealth being hopeless. Fear of the possibility that he may be wrong and that he’s in too deep to back out and choose a different option.

12. You Could Start a Cult (with Lizzy McAlpine) by Niall Horan and Lizzy McAlpine

I feel like the name is really self explanatory for this one, because the Institute is a cult, but for a Sole Survivor that chooses the Institute ending, I think the unconditional love, to the point that “Shaun could start a cult” is explained really well by this song.

“Darlin’ / I will give up everything / Who I’ll be and who I am / You can have it all”

Darlin’ adds a certain level of depth to their relationship that I wish we could get with Shaun, and I feel like it’s a very common parent-child thing for a parent to have a sweet name like that for their kid.

The second, third, and fourth lines are exactly what it is like to pursue the Institute ending. The Sole Survivor gets the full uncensored experience of being a parent, without any of the benefits of being a good parent for their child’s whole life, because siding with the Institute is intended to be the ultimate decision that burns bridges with the Commonwealth citizens (and would if the game had real consequences programmed in more seriously). And because of the whiplash they would have having seen Shaun as an infant less than a year from their experience to seeing him as he is when they reunite, I could imagine they difficulty they would having adjusting expectations of him and looking at him as a grown man that could make their own decisions, instead of their little baby.

“Anywhere you go, I’ll be / You are so much more than beautiful to me / Oh, I’ll follow you ‘til there’s no tomorrow / I’ll follow you ‘til there’s no tomorrow / I’ll follow you”

The main theme of this song is giving up everything for someone to me which is a major theme of the game if you side with the Institute, and it’s all for Shaun. The line about being beautiful feels like a callback to Beautiful Boy for me

“Lately / What I know of reality / I let go of it happily / When I look in your eyes / Mmm, swear it’s true / No mountain that I wouldn’t move / Or sea I wouldn’t part in two / To wake up by your side is all I wanna do”

To ignore the truth about synths’ intelligence, sentience, and depth, along with the oppression they face in the Fallout universe, and to write it up just to a glitch or coding error is inherently letting go of reality and the ability to think for yourself based off of your own experiences. The same is true about writing off the Commonwealth as a lost cause that more resources should not be wasted on, and ignoring the morality problems and how not only corrupt but evil it is to kidnap citizens and punish your own group members (essentially threatening with a disproportionate punishment so they don’t “act out”) by infecting them with an incurable virus (FEV).

Moving mountains and parting the sea is a parent coded experience towards their children imo and also inherently related to loving someone unconditionally.

To wake up by your side is maybe worded awkwardly for this purpose, but in my mind it means to wake up in the Institute and to have a connection with Shaun (or the Sole Survivor if we’re looking at this from Shaun’s perspective).

“You could start a cult, you see / They will say that we’re crazy”

These lines hone in that Shaun could start a cult and his parent would still unconditionally love him, but it is also very hard to get to the decision of siding with the Institute if you’re thinking for yourself, and using your own experiences to inform your decisions instead of just trusting Shaun’s word

13. THE GREATEST by Billie Eilish

“I’m trying my best / To keep you satisfied / Let you get your rest / While I stay up all night”

I feel like the first two lines are a really good example of what is going through the Sole Survivor’s mind as they try to accommodate Shaun’s more and more difficult requests. The third line feels like a reference to learning Shaun is sick, while the last one shows the Sole Survivor is sick to their stomach, but because they are having a harder and harder time living with themself from the decisions they’re making for Shaun

“And you don’t wanna know / How alone I’ve been / Let you come and go”

I feel like if the Sole Survivor learned about the way Shaun was treated his entire life they would be outraged and feel sick.

“Man am I the greatest? / My congratulations / All my love and patience / All my admiration”

This feels like Shaun’s perception of himself, I feel like has impostor syndrome. His whole life he’s been told he’s the best thing to ever happen to the Institute and his accomplishments have been emphasized, but despite this, I think he knows people don’t like him. I think his lack of emotional stuntedness (he is very emotionally stunted imo as I said earlier, but I think relative compared to those around him) makes him have an inferiority complex and feel like an impostor in a way that probably haunts him.

“Made it all look painless / Man am I the greatest? / Doing what’s right / Without a reward / And we don’t have to fight (fight) / When it’s not worth fighting for (fighting for) mm”

Made it all look painless feels like it directly relates to him being sick and hiding it from his parent. It also feels like it could relate to him hiding the pain of his upbringing from the Sole Survivor, and the pain he feels (he does conceal it but it’s obvious to me if you pick the right speech options) if the Sole Survivor tells him they can’t become the Institute’s director. We don’t have to fight when it’s not worth fighting for also is related to that, because (I know it’s just because of the way the game is designed and the mechanics) he somewhat fights for the Sole Survivor to be the Institute’s director, but not really because of the way the game is designed. He probably also would think it’s stupid for the Sole Survivor to fight for what’s right (the freedom of the synths, to make the Commonwealth better, etc.) because there wouldn’t be a reward for them, not one that them just staying in the Institute would include automatically anyway

“I, I loved you and I still do / .., / Just wanted what I gave you / … / God, I hate it / All my love and patience / Unappreciated / You said your heart was jaded / You couldn’t even break it… / I shouldn’t have to say it / You could’ve been the greatest”

I feel like the first line leans into the heartbreak of Shaun or the Sole Survivor pleading with the other again. Shaun and Sole both just want what they give each other, and because their capacities and wants are different and it feels like the other doesn’t love them because they can’t in the way the other needs, their own love does feel unappreciated.

Shaun has a particular outburst I mentioned earlier if you ask him if he’s ever considered that maybe you don’t want to be the director of the Institute that “All my love and patience unappreciated” reminds me of and feels just like. In conversation when he says “I have had no love to feel” feels related to “You said your heart was jaded, you couldn’t even break it” and Shaun admits that his own heart is jaded.

I shouldn’t have to say it, you could’ve been the greatest relates to the yearning they have for a connection with each other.

14. Halley’s Comet by Billie Eilish

“I don’t want it / And I don’t want to want you / But in my dreams I seem to be more honest / And I must admit you’ve been in quite a few”

These lines feel representative to me of what it feels like to love Shaun but not be able to do what he needs for him. To act like you don’t care about him because he insists that you must be an enemy, and so to shoot down his synths because he gives you no other choice, but to dream of a different world where things are better, and be emotionally intelligent enough to admit it to themself

“But you’re all it takes for me to break a promise / Silly me to fall in love with you / I haven’t slept since Sunday”

The first line illustrates how slippery of a slope and easy it can feel to fall down the path of siding with Shaun out of sentimentality. Both the Sole Survivor and Shaun probably feel like having their affections rebuffed make them feel stupid for caring about the other

I haven’t slept since Sunday supports the idea of the Sole Survivor having a hard time living with themself no matter what decision they make, whether they side with Shaun and hurt many or side with the good guys and experience extreme pain themselves

“But my sleepless nights are better / With you than nights could ever be alone / I was good at feeling nothing now I’m hopeless / What a drag to love you like I do”

The first two lines support the idea that the Sole Survivor would do better living in an environment like the Institute physically than an environment like the Commonwealth. The third line makes me think of the Sole Survivor’s point of view that they were okay not feeling anything positive or caring towards the Institute until they knew Father was the leader and that the most important person in the world to them directly in charge of the organization that hurts everyone they care about, and responsible for the murder of their spouse and kidnapping and basically brainwashing/Stockhold syndrome of their son.

Feeling nothing and now being hopeless could also be representative of how Shaun was good at pretending he didn’t feel anything until he met and got to interact with his parent. I think that loving each other weighs on them a lot. It is a drag.

15. Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

“The evil it spread like a fever ahead / It was night when you died my firefly”

The evilness of the Institute spread to Shaun as they raised him and became the only thing he knew just as much as his sickness did. When things look the worst when siding with the Institute halfheartedly, Shaun dies and the Sole Survivor is plunged into even more uncertain darkness.

“What could I have said to raise you from the dead? / … / Well, you do enough talk / My little hawk, why do you cry? / … / We’re all gonna die”

I think the Sole Survivor that doesn’t side with the Institute probably has the question wrack their brain, what could they have said to show Shaun better and get him to understand their point of view? Similarly Shaun probably asks himself the same question.

I imagine if the game was better designed, Shaun would get more emotional, and a little sad to see his parent, and the player wouldn’t understand why until much later when Shaun is dying. Maybe this is what the conversation about if the Sole Survivor could love Synth!Shaun is meant to be. He gets very sad if you say you could never love a synth, and even defensive of Synth Shaun iirc. If you double down and tell him you don’t need a synth, you have the real him, he keeps his cards close to his chest.

We’re all gonna die is of course a reference to how clear their mortality is at the end of the main story.

“Sitting at the bed with a halo at your head / Was it all a disguise, like junior high? / … / Now where am I? My fading supply / Did you get enough love, my little dove?”

The first line reminds me again of Shaun’s death scene. The second line is a reference to Shaun’s deception through omission.

Shaun is the fading supply. He is fading before the Sole Survivor’s eyes. The last line relates to the idea that Shaun is complex, but extremely emotionally stunted from the way the people in the Institute raised him.

“And I’m sorry I left, but it was for the best / Though it never felt right / … / The hospital asked should the body be cast? / Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky / … / Do you find it all right, my dragon fly? ”

The first two lines support the idea that the Sole Survivor regrets not siding with Shaun, despite knowing it’s for the greater good if they choose a good ending, and the next line contrasts it with the theme of Shaun’s death if they do side with the Institute. Asking if he finds it alright feels like a parallel to the Sole Survivor asking Shaun if he’s okay or if he’s in pain during his death scene when siding against the Institute.

16. Like Him (feat. Lola Young) by Tyler, the Creator and Lola Young

I feel like this song specifically applies if the Sole Survivor is Nora and were to compare how similar Shaun looks to Nate.

“She said that I make expressions like him / My legs to my shoulders and my chin like him / My waist and my posture like him”

This feels like something Nora would say upon meeting Shaun for the first time after being unfrozen, but also to Shaun about Synth!Shaun or vice versa.

“You gave me love and affection / Attention, protection / How could I ever miss something that I’ve never had? / … / Do I look like him?”

This line feels emblematic of Father reflecting on how much time was wasted not being raised by his mother, especially if Nora sides with the Institute, and of the argument again where he says “I have had no love to feel”