#luv-lala

“How do you think?” he asks. This had become a game. She asks how he’s been and he gives her some smartass response, not that she blames him. He spent his days as monotonously as Rey had on Jakku, if only with more water and greenery.

Work. Survive. Sleep.

Rey chews on the inside of her lip, thinking slowly on what must come next.

“Anything fun happen lately?” she asks after a while. Ben wrinkles his nose in distaste, giving her a long stare.

If he gives no answer, the official rule is that she would speak to Maz next, ensure he’s not being destructive, then leave. His punishment includes lack of true contact with his past, and she’s certainly part of it. Her meeting with him is a necessary evil, after all. The unspoken agreement, however, at least where Leia and Maz are concerned, is that he should at least be treated with civility. Since Rey is unable to do the first and has a hard time with the second when he’s being difficult, she resorts to the third option, one which is neither approved of nor known to General Organa. She appeals to Kylo Ren.

Kylo, after all, is more familiar to her. She’d spent years fighting him, arguing, being linked to him no matter where she went.

“Want to spar?” she asks.

That makes his eyes light up. Rey smiles internally. She’s breaking the rules, but it’s worth it every time.  

“Come on,” he says, long limbs stretching in front of him as he stands and leaves her to follow. He maneuvers past people, making way for Rey to follow without being jostled, and quickly guides them both towards the back of the castle, past the supply crates and refurbished ship parts, towards the wall compartment where they keep their play weapons. He comes out hefting two quarterstaves, tossing one to her and signaling for her to follow, though he hardly has to.

A handful of minutes after crossing the forest line, Rey and Ben find themselves on a small open clearing, the dead grass just now struggling to grow after many a fighting bout between her and the man in front of her. She drops into her stance and watches as Ben Solo transforms in front of her. There is no helmet under which to hide but his body knows battle well enough, graceful and fluid even at his size. She smiles a feral smile and he returns it.

There it is. His expression changed.

She would be lying if she said she didn’t offer every time just to see her rival again. She has few true challenges outside of this man, and none of them can work her to a thrill or a sweat as quickly. Quiet, reserved Ben Solo doesn’t exist in this clearing.

An hour later they wander back towards the castle, hair plastered to their necks and panting hard. Ben is the first to stalk up the steps, but Rey stops him halfway up. She doesn’t want to end it yet, and she knows he doesn’t either even as he tries to be on his best behavior. She shouldn’t crave this: his companionship, however stiff and uneasy. Still, he’s like her, and that’s draw enough. Rey sits down on the steps, patting the spot next to her. Ben looks at it, then at her, and lowers himself down very slowly.

The minutes pass, ticking away one after the other in the silence of the night.

“Anything fun happen lately?” Ben finally asks. Rey looks at him but doesn’t answer. The absolute cheek. He hadn’t answered her when she’d asked.

“Finally got hitched to the traitor?” he continues, though his poker face remains in place. Rey smirks because she can feel his jealousy anyway.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” she asks, turning her eyes up towards the skies. It’s one of the many beautiful things about Maz’s castle. The stars are always on display, bright jewels twinkling in the distance. Somehow from down here it’s easy to forget they’re just giant balls of gas when they shine so beautifully.

“Have you?” he presses, following her lead and staring up.

“And what if I did?” she hasn’t, but he doesn’t need to know that. He can no longer read her like he used to. He can’t feel her beyond the basic, muted tendrils of her mood. It’s simultaneously wonderful and lonely. She’d spent so many years wanting him out, and so many years with him planted so strongly there, that it now feels like she’s missing a limb, only receiving phantom pains.

“You’re too good for him.”

“As if you’d know anything about that.” She scoffs, then sighs, staring at the stars and trying to pick out constellations. “They’re beautiful tonight.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Still, she doesn’t need to look to know Ben is staring at her. He’d worked her up to a sweat, now he’s working magic. A single look is all it takes and Rey’s muscles tense in anticipation, and she hates that part of herself that’s so eager to rise up to the occasion, so she refuses to look at him.

“I’ve seen more beautiful things,” Ben says in a tone of voice that holds none of Ben Solo and everything of Kylo Ren. She shivers. It has nothing to do with the night chill. Rey resolutely stares up.

She hears his shifting first, feels his breath ghosting the shell of her ear second, and sighs, putting a hand between his mouth and her face.

“Stop it.”

Undeterred, Ben kisses her fingers. He plants gentle ones to her fingertips, warm lips burning into her fingerprints and making her legs twitch as she shifts. Rey breathes in deeply, pushing his face away and quickly attempting to retrieve her hand. Ben holds her wrist, though, unabashedly continuing his ministrations.

“I said stop.”

“Why?”

“You know why,” she says. Kylo stops for a moment, then continues.

“When has that ever mattered?” he murmurs, breath hot on her palm. Rey shakes her head, feeling him shifting closer, knowing any time now he’ll attempt something else. She yanks her hand out and puts some distance between them. He might go by a different name but he’s still the same as always, relentlessly chasing after what he wants, but she has to draw the line somewhere. Ben stares at her for a moment then sighs.

“Alright, scavenger. Have it your way. I take it the next visitor will be Chewbacca?”

The moniker makes her insides twist a little, feelings she shouldn’t be feeling bubbling to the surface, especially one he hates. Pity. She rights herself and dusts her body, dust and grime from the clearing lifting from her knees before she passes him the second quarterstaff.

“Yes, it’ll be Chewie. And I wish you warmed up towards him. He does love you, even if he’s still hurt.”

Ben hums noncommittally. Rey sighs. Ben Solo could sometimes be as stubborn as a child.

Fine, she’d put him in a better mood.

Rey leans down and quickly lands a peck on his cheek. Here, where nobody can see them except for the stars, perhaps she can ignore the rules a little more.

“Good night, Solo.”

“Good night, scavenger.”

Nobody else would be able to pick up the difference on how he says that word compared to a minute ago, but she can. Rey grins then disappears into the shadows. Ben is still staring up.