A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 117 2xs2) "Internet Thangs"
Colson and Luna pull up to The Chateau Marmont. Colson steps out first, handing his keys to the valet. As another man approaches Luna's door he puts his hand up to stop him. Walking around, he'd rather open His Girl's door himself. Slipping out of the SUV, the somewhat notorious couple manages to walk inside, hand in hand without being bothered.
"Why are we here?" A slightly drunk and totally confused Luna asks.
"They usually film in NY, out here they book where we want. Ash or Jackie must've chose The Chateau... I'm not sure who booked this one." He shrugs out his answers as he leads her to room 29.
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Inside the room looks nothing like the hotel Luna's used to. Everything is draped in black sheets. It actually makes the tragic landmark a bit more gloomier, which Luna didn't think was possible.
"Hey, Colson! How are you?" Sean the host greets him. "This must be Luna, it's such a pleasure." He grins as he stretches his arm out.
"Thank you for having us." Luna accepts his hand warmly, still not knowing what the fuck Colson has gotten her into; all she knows is that there's supposed to be wings and she's starving.
"We're all set up. Make yourselves comfortable and we'll start in 10... Sound good?" Sean confirms to Colson's nod and Luna's look of uncertainty; this is Colson's third time, Luna's never have I ever.
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"Welcome to Hot Ones, Everybody!" Sean greets the camera. "We've got a special couple's edition here today with some self proclaimed Bad Things. I'm talking with Machine Gun Kelly and if you don't mind my saying so, his STUNNING girlfriend THAT Brooklyn Bitch. They're both ruling the charts with their hit single Bad Things along with other collaborations like I Think I'm Okay and Nightmare." Sean now turns to them directly. "Guys, I've gotta admit, I've seen the music video, caught your performances on SNL, Ellen and GMA... Not a stalker but I might've also peeped a couple hot Insta pics and stories of you two... I have to say, they do not do justice to the amount of tattoos and bad assery, I don't know if that's a word but I'm making it one... That comes along with the two of you in person. Just looking at the you, I wanna peirce my nose, buy a fender and find a hardcore chick to rule The World with!" He laughs nervously as Luna gives him an weird look; in her drunken mind, he's an odd, little man.
"Do it! Live the dream, my Dude!" Colson encourages him with a chuckle.
"Don't tempt me, I just might." Sean wishes. "Okay, so lemme give Brooklyn a little insight... We've got ten wings. Ten types of hot sauce raising in intensity with each wing... And one question to go with each wing and sauce." The host explains.
"Wait, what?" There's that magic sentence again as Luna hears how each wing is contingent upon a question. "You told me hot wings... You didn't say anything about questions." Luna raises her eyebrows at Colson.
"Ten wings. Ten questions. Come on, we got this, Kitten." Colson sinks a firm kiss onto Luna's cheek.
"Not the way you eat fucking wings." Luna lowly snarks for only Colson to hear with an obviously unamused tone; she doesn't like to be blindsided.
"Okay, Round One... One wing, one hot sauce, one question. Beware they get hotter as we go. Don't worry though, we've got your water and your milk that you can refill at anytime." Sean begins to start them off.
"Hold on... Wait. What? What is milk and water? Are you... Are you children?" Luna slightly stutters in disgust. "If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna enjoy it. Fuck this ballsack shit, lemme get a beer. Please." Luna asserts while finding herself asking the same stupid fucking question AGAIN as she tries to reel herself in.
"Fucking MILK??? Who the FUUUUUCK... Ugh... Shut up, Loons. Get your beer, eat your chicken, let Colson answer whatever questions and roll on." She tries to calm down and mentally prepare herself for who knows what besides chicken and beer. "They are REALLY trying to ruin two of my favorite things though." Luna can't help but still complain to herself, thinking of how much she HATES interviews.
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Colson can't help but laugh at her. He knew today was gonna take a lot of patience and persuading, considering Luna's great love for interviews and all things The Internet. He's surprised she's held up this well so far. "SHIT!! I hope either Ash or Jackie screened these FUCKING questions." Colson's heart suddenly begins to panic.
"Heineken, please." The sound of Luna's voice breaks Colson's thoughts as he focuses on the secretive smile on her face.
"Alright, Penny Lane." He teases her as he squeezes her thigh and tries to drop a kiss on her lips.
"Unh Unh... Luna Smith, motherfucker." She declares with a slur as she ducks just out of his reach; reminding him of the first time he tried to kiss her.
Giving him a playful eye, she let's him pull her into his lap. Luna runs her fingertips along Colson's jawline as he dips his tongue inside of her willing mouth, lightly dancing together until he breaks away to only hold her by the lips; hands firm upon her ass as always. There's a sweet, sensualness to them as love and other emotions rush between their beings by just their kiss on the lips. Colson wraps his arms around Luna, both sighing upon his release as they rest forehead to forehead. Intimate words are exchanged between the two of them until Sean interrupts them after grabbing Luna a few beers. EVERYTHING being caught by the cameras. Slightly intoxicated, Luna doesn't even think to be aware of them like a fucking dumbass.
"Alright... Round One... Now complete with water, milk and beer." Sean rubs his hands together with a chuckle.
"Thank you." Luna lifts her beer graciously to his smiling nod.
"Starting us off, we've got Hot One's classic sauce. It's our garlic fresno edition so critique away." He suggests as they all bite into a leg.
Colson takes one bite. Luna's eating the fuck out of her chicken wing as always. Then dude starts asking questions and ruins everything.
"You two are getting married in like two weeks so I'm assuming you live together... How do you guys typically start your day off?" He is easily the most awkward interviewer Luna has ever encountered.
"We do." Colson answers after he swallows his bite; looking over at Luna whose still munching away, her chicken filled nod agrees with him for the moment. "We usually start the day by fucking and getting stoned. One or the other or both together. It don't matter which order as long as their together. Back to back. Fucking and stoning. Stoning and fucking." Colson clarifies himself as Luna almost snorts her beer and Sean tries to compose himself.
"I fucking love him." Luna's soul shines for Colson.
"Round Two... This is a shawarma sauce by Dawson's. Little spicier but not much." The host leads.
Colson takes one bite as expected. Luna's chilling. Eating fucking chicken. She can't talk if she has a mouth full of chicken.
"You've got this new album out, Hotel Diablo... What would you say is the most personal song on it?" Sean asks as he takes a sip of his milk.
"Glass House." Colson answers lowly; Luna hands him her beer, only slightly happy her mouth is preoccupied by delicious meat.
"Next we got Goat Rider by Angry Goat Company... " Sean begins to describe the next sauce.
"They should call Em that... " Luna says lowly as she looks up at Colson and tries to contain herself; his smirk only encourages her. "Because he's the angriest little GOAT of them all." She says in a tiny, childlike voice; it's Colson's fault she couldn't help herself as she dips her face into his chest to hide her giggles; he's just as bad as he covers her head and his own laughter with his arm crooked around her.
"God Damn, I fucking love her." Colson's heart glows with amusement from his Kitten's sense of humor.
"Hey... Hey... Hey... No secret conversations. Hot wings and questions." The host tries to redirect them.
"Alright, super chicken man." Luna announces as she comes out of her hiding spot. "What's next?" She asks as she grabs her third wing and chomps into it.
"Are you guys REALLY getting married at ESTFest?" He asks as Colson almost chokes on his chicken.
"Need some milk?" Luna asks sarcastically with a full mouth.
"Fuck you." Colson coughs out as he sips the milk. Luna almost chokes on her own chicken as she laughs at him. "See, that's what you get. Asshole." He calls her out after handing her, her beer and making sure she'll live.
"So ESTFest... ?" Sean goes on to remind them.
"Yeah... " Colson nods after he collects himself also. "During ModSun's set."
"What?" Luna asks Sean directly when he won't stop looking at her for an answer. "You see the ring." Luna wiggles her sparkling left finger in the air. "ACTUALLY... I got two." She grins like a spoiled little girl as she extends her right hand out. "THIS one is my favorite... " Luna declares as she admires it herself before she leans back against Colson, staring up at him with THAT One Look as she plays with one of her most prized possession.
"Is that a guitar string?" Sean asks with pure wonder.
"Is that the fourth question?" Luna asks with a teasing charm as she holds her hands together towards her chest, just underneath her chin.
"I like that you play hard ball." Sean chuckles nervously as he wags his finger at her, not wanting to let this question go. "I'll trade it in for Round Four's question as long as it's a two part answer." He bargains.
"Mmmm... Nope. Two questions. Two answers. Two chickens." Luna's unwilling to budge.
"Fine... Is it a guitar string?" He asks again with a tinge of disappointment but still wanting to know.
"Yes." Luna nods her head proudly as she answers and presents her hand back towards him again so he can fully study the work of love.
"Wow. That's really neat the way the wire is twisted around to reinforce itself." He observes in admiration. "Where did it come from? EXACTLY." He reframes the question.
"We were On Tour in Pittsburgh and Colson sporadically proposed to me in his dressing room after The Show. He made it with one of the strings off the guitar he'd used that night within like 20mins." Luna sweetly admits as she thinks back to those private moments.
"I just wanna say, for the record, One... The guitar that string came off of goes everywhere with me now. Has ever since... Actually I don't think I've used another electric since that night." Colson looks over at Luna, who shakes her head to agree with him that he hasn't. "And Two... I had that rock for a few weeks but my dumbass left it behind when we hit The Road." Colson points out.
"Annnnnnnnd I love them both." Luna coos as she pecks Colson on the side of the mouth. "Now can I see why this goat is so angry?" She asks as she shoots him a grin and grabs her chicken leg.
"Alright, where are we at?" The host struggles to regain control of his show.
"We're at you owe me another hot wing because we gave you two answers." Luna reminds him of their deal as she splashes the sauce from the next bottle in line onto her fifth tiny drumstick. "You want any?" She asks Colson as she reaches over.
"Ahhh... Just a bit." He groans.
"You know Imma tell Slim all about this later tonight, right?" She chortles at him lightly.
"I fucking hate you." Colson chuckles at a munching ass Luna while he reaches for her beer.
"So... Round Six?" Sean asks as he weakly throws his hands up to their nods. "We've got Scorpion from the Heartbeat Hot Sauce Co. Now we're climbing up the ladder guys but Brooklyn, you've eaten all of each of your wings. The only other person to do this is Shia Labeouf. Think you can you keep up?" He asks her as if it's a test.
"This motherfucker is DUMB." Colson snickers to himself at the idea of anyone challenging Luna.
"Hold up, I have some questions. First off... What do you mean only one other person has eaten all their wings? What the fuck do they do with 'em?" She asks, feeling kinda offended by the lack of chicken respect on this Internet Thang that Colson has her involved in.
"Most guests usually take a small bite of each wing." He explains to Luna's look of horror.
"Why did you ask me if I can keep up? Did you run out of chicken and beer?" She genuinely asks around the sexist insult to his head shake.
"She's such a fucking bitch." Colson thinks in amusement as he watches Luna. She is his favorite person in The World, especially when it comes to her level of IDGAF.
"Okay then, let's eat and answer questions." Sean simply requests as he takes a healthy bite. "What's the craziest thing you two have done together?" He asks once he's swallowed.
Colson takes a drink from the beer he's now sharing with Luna, mentally refusing to sip anything else after she made fun of him. His insides are dying. Luna's having the time of her life like she's the Abba Queen of hot wings as she wipes her mouth after fucking up her latest victim. Both of them are on totally different waves lengths but when their eyes meet for the question anything drops away and everything makes sense.
"The craziest thing I've ever done with Luna is fall in love with her almost 10yrs ago simply by her presence and smile." Colson grins as he looks down for a moment. "I think I might've even described it once as a cosmic boner." Colson lightly laughs to himself as he looks up into Luna's welling eyes and they lightly giggle together at the reality of their love; she covers her mouth to slightly to muffle her happy whimpers.
"Yeeaaah... We've done some crazy shit but none of our foolish antics compare to the risk that we're taking by starting a life together." Luna answers sincerely as her breath catches and her eyes never leave Colson's.
"More wings for Round Seven?" The host interrupts their intimacy again.
"Round Seven." The couple agrees before nodding studiously at each other and focusing on their wings.
"Round Seven we have Bourbon Habenero Ghost from Hellfire Detroit. Let's give it a go." He suggests as they each take a bite. "Best song on Hotel Diablo?" Sean hits them with a rapid fire question.
"AHHHHH... Fuck!! THAT'S hot!! Ahhhh... Ahhh... Bad Things!" Colson shouts out his answer as he stands up and begins waving his bandana around.
Sean heads directly for the milk after one full bite, chew and swallow. Luna eats the whole wing. Then finishes her beer.
"Aww... Bunny." Luna coos with a smile as she lightly giggles and sucks her teeth. "Don't listen to him, he's hot sauce dumb right now. Col, get some milk... " She advises as she hands him the glass. "Hotel Diablo is bigger than just ONE great song." Luna air quotes. "It's a whole concept from beginning to end. I won't say which song I think is the best but I think when a song that is not only number on the Alternative charts but also number two in POP with a major lyric that stands alone about hurting oneself... " Luna's voice begins to quiver. "Than that means to me that millions of people are responding to and resonating with a certain kind of painful feeling... " Luna starts to become visibly emotional as she continues to speak. "And I think it's important to pay attention to that point because it's incredibly concerning that so many individuals in our society obviously relate in some kind of vulnerable way to the words of this song but we don't talk about ANY it. It's time to change our question. It's not what is the best song. It should be WHY is this the best song." Luna has tears rolling down her cheeks as she looks down in her lap to let them drop silently, leaving both men speechless.
"Holy fuck... I never thought of it that way." Colson stares at her while holding the empty glass of milk before making his way over to comfort her.
"Are you guys ready for Round Eight?" Sean gently asks as he sits back down with them after Luna's had a chance to pull herself together.
"Yeah, Man. We got this." Colson answers as he squeezes Luna's thigh.
"Okay... Round Eight... We got Beyond Insanity by Da Bomb and a direct question for Brooklyn. We ready? Bite!" Sean declares skipping his own wing to ask Luna the question mid chew. "Why won't you proclaim your birth name publicly?"
"What the FUCK was that?" Colson's bewildered by the question presented to Luna as he holds tight of her thigh and drops his wing as she speaks. "Just know I'm here, Kitten." Is all he can think as he stares daggers into Sean and Luna cooly rips the host a new asshole.
"Do you know my birth name?" Luna asks as she slows down her chewing and stares through the stupid host. "Because I don't. It's not Luna Smith if that what you're suggesting. That's my legal name. Not my birth name. You should really do your research before you ask your guests personal questions... Or at least have them worded correctly." Luna advises icily as she finishes her wing. "We ready for Round Nine?" Luna asks loudly with an annoyed tone as she drops the chicken bone onto her full plate.
"Yeah. Let's do it." Sean continues uncomfortably. "This is called Chipotle Express and it's by PuckerButt Pepper Co... We may be rising in heat but we're gonna take it down a smidge in the questions... I know you've collaborated a few times but do you guys think you'll ever do anything like a full album or project together?" Sean asks as he bites into his wing.
For the first time Luna doesn't use her love of food as an excuse not speak. "That's probably the best question you've asked yet." She compliments Sean finally as she looks over at Colson's own turning wheels before choosing to explain. "Because it's the first one that I don't have an answer to because I never heard the question."
"I think what she's trying to say is as natural of a next move that you may think making an entire album together may be... It never occurred to either of us until the moment you presented the question... " Colson turns his head to stare at Luna with a loving smile; both knowing that they're sharing almost the same thought. "And now I can't stop thinking of all the other thousands of things we could create together. So thank you." Colson and Luna turn away from each other for a moment to look at Sean with gratitude.
"Do you guys believe in soulmates?" He asks his final question while caught up in the loving feelings between the couple.
"Yes."
"No."
Colson and Luna answer at the same time but with different responses. Different ideals. Different expectations.
"What do you mean no?" He asks her with furrowed eyebrows.
"I don't. I believe in true love but I don't believe that we're only destined to love one person. I think different people are supposed to come into our lives at different points for different reasons for different amounts of time. If that wasn't my truth than I would've never been able to fall in love with you after Justin." Luna explains her logic to him as if they're the only two in the hotel room.
Colson's silent for a moment. Totally hating Sean and his hot wings. ESPECIALLY hating his stupid fucking questions. Deeply contemplating what Luna just said.
"But you do, MGK?" Sean asks him directly, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yeah. I believe I found my soulmate... And if not, I'll have her as my wife." He smiles coyly, never taking his eyes off of Luna as she watches him with adoration.
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"What were your other questions?" Luna inquisitively asks Sean after they wrap up taping.
"Oh! Uh... What do you think married life will look like for you guys and do you think you'll ever have kids?" He responds, slightly caught off guard.
"Life won't change." Luna smiles. "We're gonna keep on creating, traveling and being kind to The World as for... "
"You ready, Kitten?" Colson interrupts them as he slips his arm around Luna's waist. "Thanks again, Man." He acknowledges Sean before leading Luna away.
"We already have one... But maybe another one day." Luna answers his second question over her shoulder with a twinkle in her eye.
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"Where are we going now?" Luna giggles into Colson's ear as he carries her piggyback style up a slight hill.
"You've shown me a lot of cool things, now it's my turn." He answers her as he gently sets her down in the evening glow of the dipping sun. "Here, lemme get that blanket." He asks of her as he takes the schoolbag from off of Luna's back. Stretching it out, he reaches for her once he sits down. "Lay with me, please?" He requests.
"Where are we?" Luna asks as she curls up next to his body.
"Just wait." Colson gently instructs as he lights a blunt.
On a quiet hill somewhere in LA, Colson and Luna snuggle up together in the warm summer's air as the sun falls off the edge of The Earth. The night's sky slowly creeping around them. Luna's breath catches in her chest as she takes in Colson's surprise. It's a WHOLE sky filled with stars.
"I knew you'd appreciate this." He smiles to himself as he kisses the top of her head.
"It's so beautiful... How did you ever find this?" She asks in amazement.
"Mod showed me one night when we were tripping. It's the ONLY place you can see the stars out here." Colson breathes in deeply as he pulls her closer.
They lay together pointing out what they think are different constellations. Debating what's a satellite and what's a star. Luna drawing out Orion's Belt as Colson shows her where he believes to be The Big and Little Dipper are.
"So you really don't believe in soulmates?" Colson asks Luna again under the cosmic sky.
"No. Not one. I believe we're destined to love who we love... And I love you, Bunny. What's the difference?" She asks him.
"I don't know... I guess I find the whole idea of belonging to one person to be comforting and romantic. It's like having a predestined home." The idealistic yet hurt little boy inside of him answers.
"Oh, Bunny... " Luna purrs as she snuggles closer to him. "I am your home. Forever. Married, not married. Soulmates, not soulmates. I know a lot of shit but there's not much I'm sure of." Luna admits. "I am sure that I've loved since I saw you but that I wasn't meant to truly meet you until I did." She places his hand in the middle of her breasts so he can feel her beating heart. "We are who we are for a reason and right now... Our reason is the only thing that makes sense or matters to me."
Colson grabs her chest with a firm lightness. Holding their feelings tightly inside of his large palm. After a moment he gently rolls his body so that he looms over top of Luna. Staring down at her, he brushes the random stands of hair from her face. Leaning on his forearms, he dips down to kiss her passionately. She runs her fingers along the sides of his face into the back of his hair as she pulls him closer and kisses him firmly.
Their touches are sweet and soft under the star filled sky. They slowly undress each other as their kisses linger on their bare skin. Colson and Luna stare into each other's souls as he fully enters her. Making them both shake from their pure feelings and emotions.
It's not often that Colson and Luna make love. They usually fuck the shit out of each other. Tonight they're not animals. They're intimate lovers, both taking their time. Dropping heartfelt I love yous into each other's ears as they softly pant and moan. Soulmates or not, Luna and Colson are in this shit called Life together. Forever.
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2Xs2
To be continued...
