15. The scene that will give you, personally, the most joy.
@emeraldwhump go and have some fun with writing for me!
I'll enjoy this but i don't know how many others will haha
Content warnings: minor character death mention, guilt, hospital setting, grief, mention of medical prodecures
Titan Guard tag list: @nightly-whump, @angst-art-writing, @whipper-whumper, @yet-another-heathen, @why-not-whump-it, @kixngiggles, @annablogsposts, @whumpwillow, @for-the-love-of-angst (let me know if you'd like to be added!)
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Lulan always figured that he could hold a good stoic expression. It had been helpful in the past when it came to dealing with bad news. It probably wasnât quite as good as Ganexâs or even Lexusâ, but it had always managed to be enough for him. It always seemed like a good quality in leaders, which hopefully some day he would be. Holding it for several hours on end, now that turned out to be a little harder.
Frankly, he was amazed he was still standing unscathed after the explosion. His balance still felt a little off from having to donate blood, but really he was fine. Only he and Byruk managed to walk away from the disaster with a few scraps and bruises. Everyone else was worse off in one way or another, and someâŠ
Far, far worse.
He sat in the post-op room next to Lexusâ bed, where she still rested while recovering from her leg wound. His eyes wandered over to the opposite side to another cot, where their friend Dosair still laid and struggled through each breath. Byruk and Alek sat next to him, somber expressions on all their faces. At least Alek was up and moving now, albeit with one arm in a sling and a nasty bruise on the side of his head.
It was hard to see Dosair like this. He almost looked like a body embalmed, skin deathly pale where it wasnât covered by gauze concealing burns from the fire. Part of one leg and one arm was gone, Talic wasnât able to save them, and tubes stretched out across his body in a web Lulan couldnât even think to begin untangling. His eyes were closed, but they werenât sure if he was resting or even knew what was going on around him. Just a few days ago he looked normal, he looked fine. Now he was almost unrecognizable.
But he was alive, thatâs what mattered. He was lucky, which they couldnât say for Lylimeph, Prash, Koladi, and HĆdek.
There were only eight of them left now. How could there only be eight of them left? They left Maltrina with thirty-one of the best fighters in the Titan Guard. In the whole Pax Rebel military. Thirty-one. It didnât make sense that they would find themselves barely hanging onto survival so far away from home. Lulan sighed, thinking a bit of twisted humor to himself. He remembered when he thought the other side of their planet was impossibly far away from home. The thought was almost funny now.
In a rather sick kind of way.
I hate this planet.
His ears twitched at the sound of footsteps coming back into the space. Ganex stepped in, followed by Talic and Zanvir behind him. There was that strong, stoic look Lulan remembered, if a bit shaded with the curtain of tragedy that fell over all of them. Talic and Zanvir looked a little worse for wear after spending hours trying to keep everyone alive.
âHow is he doing?â Ganex asked as he came and sat by the end of the cot.
âUh,â Alek cleared his throat and tried speaking in a low voice, âOkay, I think. Not really sure if heâs awake.â
âHm.â Talic came over by the head of Dosairâs cot and checked his vitals. Lulan could see his exhaustion in each movement he made. Losing four teammates was hard for all of them, but he imagined being the one to try saving and still losing them was weighing heavily on Talic. All of them watched as he gave Dosair another dose of painkillers before turning back to him.
âHey, DoDo,â Talic leaned in close to his ear and spoke clearly, âCan you hear me? How you doing, bud?â
All eyes were on Dosair, waiting, hoping there would be a response. The only sounds heard were Dosairâs labored breathing and the machines working to keep him alive. The air felt cold in the few second before his fingers twitched and he let out a breathy âY-yeahâŠâ
A small smile appeared on Talicâs face as they all let out a collective sigh. Lulan smiled too. This was good, Dosair was going to get better now. The light at the end of the tunnel was looking brighter now.
âThatâs good,â Talic grabbed his bioscanner from his front pocket, âI just need to check a few readings and tests, itâll be quick.â
He switched on a small light on the end and shined it into each of Dosairâs eyes. All of them watched as he took notes on Dosairâs response time, neural activity, blood pressure, every little thing it seemed like. But it was done with such precision that it barely took any time at all. Lulan admitted to himself that watching Talic work was always interesting. One of the best medical professionals heâd ever known.
âAlright, that wasnât too bad, was it? Pain meds should be working now. Need anything else, DoDo?â
âCanâŠâ Dosairâs fingers twitched on his stomach, struggling to lift as he pointed to himself. âW-Water⊠dryâŠâ
âYeah, sure. Byruk, can you get a glass of water?â
Byruk nodded and stood quickly to retrieve one. While he was away, Alek shifted closer to his side. âHow are you feeling, DoDo?â
âMm, shitâŠâ Dosair tried to give him a half-smile. âYou look like⊠you need⊠naptime.â
âHa ha.â Alek rolled his eyes, but it did make him smile a little. At least Dosairâs wry humor was still intact.
Byruk came back with a glass of water and handed it to Talic. The group watched as he helped Dosair lift his head to drink. Lulan thought the sight was strange. It was only a few days ago all of them were working together, training and laughing like nothing was wrong. He was fine, happy. All of them were.
At least now he was awake.
He was going to be fine.
âThe pain medication is bound to wear off in a few hours or so,â Talic told him as he set aside the now empty glass, âJust let me know when it gets too bad, okay?â
Dosair winced as he tried to shift underneath his sheets. His head rolled to the side, facing Talic and Ganex. âOthers⊠hurtâŠ?â
It felt like a stone dropped in Lulanâs stomach, and he was sure the same was felt all across the room. He was bound to ask the question at some point. Dosair wasnât dumb, he knew there was no possibility he was the only one who was hurt in the explosion. Even his exhausted expression held anxiousness in the waiting to the response. Lulan looked up at Talic and Ganex, who exchanged sad looks with each other.
This was going to crush him.
âIt⊠got bad,â Talic finally broke the silence, âWe lost some people. Prash⊠Koladi⊠HĆdekâŠâ
âLylimephâŠ? Dosair let out a tearful sigh, âOkayâŠ?â
Lulan bit down on his lip and exhaled sharply. Thatâs right, he thought. Dosair had a thing for her, it wasnât surprising that he would ask about her first. He noticed Talic fidgeting more, wringing his hands together as he tried to think of the right words to break the news. Ganex rested a hand on his shoulder, nodding once as they locked eyes. Talic sighed and looked back at Dosair.
âSheâs resting now. And you need to rest more too, so you can see her in a bit. Okay?â
Lulan blinked.
What?
What did he just say? Did he mishear what Talic actually said? He looked around at the rest of the team. Only Ganex and Zanvir seemed to not be as surprised as he was. The rest of them look at each other in confusion and growing hurt. He felt his heartbeat start to pick up and his breath quicken, a complete contrast to Dosairâs sigh of relief as he rested back against his pillow.
âO-Okay⊠goodâŠâ Lulan felt the wrongness growing in his chest at the growing relaxed expression Dosair had. His eyes darted back at Ganex, who looked around the rest of them with somberness.
âWe will leave you to catch up on some rest, Dosair,â Ganex said in a gentle voice, âThe rest of you, letâs keep any discussions or questions outside of the medbay, understood?â
There was silence in the moments following. Like Lulan, the others seemed just as baffled and unsure of how to respond. Zanvir was the first, nodding with a grunted âyesâ which prompted Alek and Byruk to reply in kind.
Lulan said nothing.
He couldnât stay in the room any longer, not with how he felt his chest pounding up into his ears with each passing second. Without a word, he stood and stormed out, positive it probably raised some eyebrows as he left. He didnât care what everyone else thought about him. He was angry, and they could deal with it.
He walked until he reached the bunks, opening up his and Talicâs room and slumping against the wall. He glared off into space, feeling a growing heat behind his eyes and hoping it wasnât tears. He growled, pressing his forehead to his knees and gripping the ends of his hair. Lulan had never really been one to cry. For him, the same energy that went into tears was better spent doing something useful, or something to just get the energy out.
But he hadnât quite felt like this before. And it was overwhelming.
Why did he have to keep losing friends? It wasnât fair, monumentally not fair. His hands balled into tight fists, already shaking as he tried to breathe through it. They lost so many friends already. Their whole team was almost gone, killed far from home and buried on a strange planet. And now they had to do it again, but this time it seemed while lying to their friends in the process.
It. Wasnât. Fair.
Lulan wasnât sure how much time had passed before he heard the sound of footsteps outside the room. He looked up to see Talic opening up the room across from theirs, Dosairâs room. Without thinking, Lulan sprang to his feet and caught Talicâs shoulder before he stepped inside.
âWhy did you say that to him?â He ignored the flinch in Talicâs shoulders as he whipped him around. âWhyâd you let him believe Lylimeph is okay?â
âLulan, weâŠâ Talicâs voice was heavy with exhaustion, âWe talked it over, and⊠for the condition heâs in now, we believed it would be easier. Give him some time to come to terms with it.â
âBut you lied to him! Heâs gonna be waiting to talk to her, and itâll crush him when he finds out sheâs dead!â
Talic tried to respond, but couldnât manage any words. He just looked at Lulan with regret and sorrow. And it felt like the final nail in the coffin. He wanted to deny it, not think about it. But reality never cared what he wanted.
âSo he is going to die.â The tension in Lulanâs throat was enough to break his voice a little. âWhy couldnât you just say it to his face?â
âLulan, heâs just barely woken up. I donât want to hit him with everything at once before heâs ready!â
âThatâs not your fucking choice to make!â Lulanâs voice rose to a shout. âDosair should be able to face the truth without us interfering, but you want to lie and take that dignity away from him?! How the hell do you justify that?!â
He saw the tension growing in Talicâs jaw as he tried to remain steady. But he glared back at him with the same anger and pain.
âIf youâre angry about me not telling you about Dosairâs condition until now, then Iâm sorry,â Talic snapped back, âBut donât you dare make this about some betrayal of confidence to you or the others. For better or worse, this is what weâve decided is going to be easiest for him before he goes.â
âI guess you have enough practice taking care of dying strangers,â Lulan growled at him. âBut I figured youâd have a little more sympathy for someone you actually care about!â
ââŠStop it, Lulan.â
âWeâre a team, weâre supposed to be there for each other when things are fucking impossible! Thatâs supposed to mean something to you!â
âShut up.â
âBut youâd rather make it easier on yourself and lie to Dosair like heâs a child!â
âWhat else am I supposed to do?!â Talic hollered at the top of his lungs, making Lulan flinch. In an instant, he finally noticed the bags under Talicâs eyes, the sullen look of exhaustion and grief that hung over him as he shook with anger. He wasnât sure why he didnât see it as clearly before. He certainly did now with Talic screaming in his face.
âI did everything I could to keep them alive, all of them! And nothing about it is fucking easy! I did everything right, everything I was supposed to do, and I still couldnât fix it! Heâs lost his liver, both fucking kidneys, half his intestines, and a whole lung! You canât live without those things, you canât fix them! I canât fix any of it! Iâm not a miracle worker! You donât have any idea what this has been like, none! So donât give me a fucking lecture over whatâs easy or right!â
Lulan stood in stunned silence, unable to think of a response as the hallway echoed Talicâs shaky breath. Talic never got angry, not even when he was frustrated. But here, Lulan saw heâd struck a deep and painful nerve and brought it out into the light.
âThe best we can all do for him now is make him comfortable as he goes. âTalic stared daggers into him with glistening eyes. âUntil then⊠do not go thinking this is just another case to me. Heâs my friend too.â
Neither of them spoke, standing in a cover of tension and anger thick enough to cut with a knife. They glared at each other, a silent dare for the other to say one more word. It was distracting enough that neither of them heard the sound of footsteps heading towards them.
âWhat is going on here?!â Both of them flinched at Ganexâs voice snapping the silence away. They stepped away from each other, Lulan lacing his fingers behind his neck and Talic covering his mouth with one hand. Neither of them looked at Ganex as he approached.
âWell? Either of you, hm?â They knew he wouldnât leave without some kind of answer. Lulan turned back toward him, staring at the floor as he tried to think of what to say.
âWeâll be fineâŠâ Talic murmured first, âJust⊠disagreement.â
âI understand,â Ganex sighed, âthat keeping yourselves together feels an impossible task right now. And there will be time for us to grieve in the way we need to, but it is not now and not by going after each other. Is that clear, both of you?â
Talic and Lulan took a moment to breathe, collecting themselves before turning back to Ganex, without looking at each other again.
âYes, sir.â
ââŠYes, sir.â
âNow⊠Talic, gather the things Dosair asked for. I will speak to each of you personally, when this is all over.â
Talic nodded and went back into Dosairâs open room. Lulan watched him come back out with two pillows before walking past them back to the med bay.
âDoDoâs pillows?â Lulanâs voice was barely above a whisper now.
âYes,â Ganex nodded, âHe wanted them for his neck, says that he wonât be able to sleep with them otherwise.â
Lulan bit down on his lip until it felt like it would bleed. His sight blurred, and it nearly shocked him as tears started spilling over his cheeks.
âItâsâŠâ he exhaled slowly, âItâs not right, Ganex. Itâs not fair to him. It⊠Itâs not fucking fair.â
Ganexâs expression softened and he rested a hand on his shoulder. âWhether itâs fair or not is something weâll have to decide later, but Iâm sorry you had to find out this way. Blame me if you want to be angry, but do just one thing.â
âWhat?â Lulan quickly wiped away the tears.
âMake peace with Talic when this is over. The coming months are going to be harder, and we need to rely on each other more than ever.â
âFine,â Lulan grumbled, but then sighed and shook his head, âNo, IâI will, I promise. I donât think I meant any of it, but⊠Iâll make it right.â
Ganex sighed, âWe will tell him when the time comes, but no one will blame you if you need some time aloneâ"
âNo,â Lulan cut him off, âIâll be fine. I⊠I want to be there for him.â
âAlright then.â Ganex swung his arm over Lulanâs shoulders and the two of them walked back toward the med bay. Neither of them spoke again, Lulan trying to breathe through the wave of emotion trying to overtake him. He didnât feel ready to face it, but it wasnât really up to him now. He need to be there for Dosair, for all of them.
Whatever came next, they had to be there for each other.
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Content Warnings: hospital setting, surgery (descriptions are a little grizzly), minor character death, blood, burns, broken bonesÂ
Follows this pieceÂ
@whumpmasinjulyâ
âInduced coma unsuccessful. Vital signs in critical condition.â
âShit,â Talic hissed as he turned back to Koladiâs table. Warning signs flared up on her vitals screen, low blood pressure, fast irregular heartbeat, multiple broken bones and fractures in her body. He was going to lose her too if he didnât get her stabilized in a coma within the next few minutes.
âHow Lylimeph doing, Zanvir?â
Across the room, Zanvir sighed and brushed away the sweat gathered on his forehead with his sleeve, still leaving a streak of blood on his forehead and surgery cap. He looked down at the bloodied mess on the table in front of him, partially covered by a surgical blanket with Lylimephâs pale face covered with a mask.
âI wish I could say better,â he shook his head as he went back to work, âEven if I get all this shrapnel out, I donât know if weâll have enough bulk blood to keep her stable.â
Talic bit his lip, trying to think as he recalibrated the controls for Koladiâs table. âOk⊠Once, once we get these two stabilized, you and I can donate, and weâll see about Ganex and Byruk helping too.â
âAnd Lulan?â
âLulanâs donated twice already, anymore and heâll be bedridden for days. Weâll just⊠have to hope itâs enough.â
Talic reactivated the machineâs sequence, hoping this time would go through so Koladi could stabilize. He turned his attention back to Prash. Broken spine, burns covering most of his body from the bombâs flames, and Talic already had to take a leg too damaged to save. Infection was his greatest worry for Prash at the moment, on top of an endless growing list.
Talic was exhausted. Twenty hours since most of their team got caught in the explosion and they still werenât even close to being done fixing everyone up. Lexus still had a hole in her leg held together by a medpack. Alek was unconscious from a head wound and a broken arm. Dosair was the only one Talic managed to fix up stabilize after barely reassembling most of his insides.
HĆdek died within a few seconds of being placed on an operating table.
It was horrible, but Talic didnât have time to dwell on it now. Chief Medical Officers never had time to dwell in the terrible, painful things they saw in an operating room. He had four more lives to save. Once he knew they were out of harms way, then he could let everything crash down around him.
But not one moment before.
âInduced coma unsuccessful. Vital signs in critical condition.â
The warning sounded again, and Talic tore himself away from Prash back to Koladi. She was deathly pale, and the rising motion of her breathing was slow and labored. Sweat started gathering on Talicâs brow as he quickly tried to restart the sequence again.
âWarning: hemorrhaging detected in upper abdomen.â
âFuck, no, no, no, no,â Talic muttered in growing panic under his breath, âCâmon, Koladi, just hold on a little longer, câmonâŠâ
âWarning: blood pressure not detected. Pulse not detected.â
âNo!â Talic abandoned the monitor and yanked back the covering over Koladiâs chest. Already he could see the dark shading of blood pooling under her skin. âOpen defibrillators.â
Slots on either side of the operating table opened and he grabbed a defibrillator out from each. The voltage charged and he held the flat ends against her chest. Her body jolted from the current, but the heart monitor remained flat.
âCâmon, Koladi, hang in thereâŠâ He charged them again and winced from the loud sound of electricity discharging. Still, nothing. He tried again and her vital signs still remained flat. He tried not to look at the grayish hue growing in her complexion as he charged them up again.
âTalicââ
âI can do it, Zanvir,â Talic didnât look back at him as he discharged the electricity a fourth time. Still no pulse. He could feel Zanvirâs eyes staring into the back of his head.
âTalic, listenââ
âIâm not losing her!â Talic shouted as he charged the defibrillator again. Koladi jolted on the table, but remained lifeless. âIâm not losing another one, I can do it!â
âThe cutoff is three, Vellatang!â Talic flinched as Zanvirâs voice rose to a shout. He turned back to look at him, the defibrillators still clenched tightly in his hands. Only now he noticed how short and rapid his breath was.
âItâs three times,â Zanvir said with a long sad look on his face, âYou know that. Youâve done five now. I⊠You have to move on.â
Talicâs breath froze in his chest. He was right, trying again now would just waste time. He turned back to Koladi, setting the defibrillators down as he finally looked at her still face. There was nothing, no breath, no fluttering of her eyes. Even now, he knew the color of her irises were drained under her eyelids, leaving behind a haunting milky white.
She was gone.
âGo back to Prash, Talic,â Zanvirâs voice grew softer, âHe still needs you.â
Talic didnât need any other prompting. Zanvir was right, he had to move on. He had to hold on, try and save the others as best he could. Just for a moment, he allowed his hands to shake as he pulled the cover over Koladi. The look of death disappeared under the blue sheet, and he exhaled sharply.
âIâm sorry, KoladiâŠâ His hand rested on top of her head for just a moment, almost as though he was trying to comfort her through her passing. He inhaled sharply and pulled away, feeling a sharp sting of sadness in his chest as he came back to Prash. He could still feel Zanvirâs eyes on him, making sure he was able to keep moving forward.
Talic pushed the rest of his thinking to each piece of shrapnel he pulled out of Prash. He could keep going like this, focusing only on those still breathing. There would be time to mourn the others later. But for now, he could hold on for Lylimeph, Prash, and Dosair.
A Happy New Years to you all, and a special happy birthday to @wildfaewhump!Â
CW: aftermath of explosion, impalement, mild gore, field surgeryÂ
Titan Guard tag list: @whipper-whumper, @nightly-whump, @why-not-whump-it, @yet-another-heathen, @kixngiggles, @angst-art-writing (let me know if youâd like to be tagged!)
Lexusâ eyes fluttered open against the smoke and ash hanging in the air. The world around her felt undefined, like she was trapped in an endless dream. A harsh ringing filled her ears as she tried to focus on her surroundings. All she could see was the rising smoke from fires dotting rubble, growing in intensity as she lay on the ground looking at the rocky ceiling.
For a moment, she couldnât recall what it was that caused this carnage. She drifted through a haze with the smoke in the air. Her head rolled to the side, and she saw movement against the flames. Even with her undefined vision, it seemed rushed and panicked. Her body shifted slightly, and she was met with sudden pain and fatigue. A moan escaped her throat and she remembered.
An explosion. A bomb left by Diçian soldiers and set off once they made their escape out of this old missile silo. They were so focused on fighting, no one registered the hidden threat in time. The others, who else had been with her? Byruk, Lulan, Prash, Lylimeph, she couldnât remember how close they were to the blast. She had lost track of Koladi and Alek during the fighting. Dosair and HĆdek had been right next to her, and it was Dosair who spotted the explosive mere moments before it went off. He tried to push them both out of the way.
How long has it been?
Lexus groaned against the ringing and pounding in her head. She had to get up and make sure the others were okay. They could get attacked again at any moment any might not stand a chance against it. Her hands shifted against the ground to find her bearings before pushing herself up. A deep, overwhelming pain shot through her almost immediately and she fell back to the ground, letting out a strangled scream. Her head turned in a shaky motion and she saw it. A large metal spike sticking up through her thigh, her silver blood coating the end as it punctured through the burned remains of her armor. She reached a shaky hand out to brush away the dirt and rocks collected on the exposed scorched skin. Now seeing the wound, agony began to blind her.
âOver here!â The words were barely audible over the ringing and Lexusâ own screaming. The shadowy movement from before came closer to her, kneeling down next to her head and leg. Her head rolled back up towards the ceiling, and she saw Lulanâs face looking down at her. There were bruises and bleeding cuts on his face, but he seemed fine otherwise. His hand sneaked under her head to keep her steady, worry spread across his face. Lexusâ mouth gaped open as she tried to breathe amidst the screams.
âHold on, LexusâŠâ Lulanâs voice seemed distant and faint above her. âYouâre gonna be okay. JustâJust hold on. Hey, medpack!â
Please, it hurts⊠She couldnât form the words she wanted, painful moans being the only sounds she could make. They were caught dry in her throat, frozen as she felt a cold dread flooding over her. She lifted her head, Lulan helping her, to look at the wound again. The other figure by her side was Byruk, who was already working at cutting back the metal in her leg. There was so much blood already. A sudden thought occurred to her, and tears flooded her eyes.
I could die like this⊠I donât want to die⊠Em, please⊠I donât want to dieâŠ
âHere!â She saw Talic rush to Byrukâs side, a medpack ready in his hands. She looked up at him, eyes pleading, begging him to keep her alive. He locked eyes with her and gave her a worried smile, but a smile nonetheless.
âAlright, weâve got to be quick,â Talic spoke to Byruk and Lulan, âSteady her, then lift on three. Ready? OneâŠâ
All other noise blocked out of her ears from the ringing and screaming of her own voice. She felt her body shift up and over, wrenching her leg off the metal where it began to bleed in a steady stream. The cold seemed to take her faster now as she felt the compression of the medpack over her wound. It stopped the bleeding and began to numb the pain with time. Lexus felt her consciousness begin to drift, her breath turning to short gasps within a few minutes.
âGet her back, now!â Talic instructed to Lulan as he secured the medpack tightly. âByruk, help me find the others.â
Lexus didnât have time to think before Lulan lifted her off the ground. She was limp in his arms, slowly growing dead to the world as they moved away from the fires and smoke and carnage. Even now, her eyes tried to scan for the others. They were her friends, her responsibility, and she had to make sure they were okay. Silent, senseless words left her lips as he tried to protest leaving. They failed her, and she pass out into a dreamless state as Lulan took her through the portal.
Whumptoberâs finally heeeeeeere and itâs time for some canon content!
@whumptober2021Â
CW: prisoner of war, slapping, mild blood
Titan Guard tag list:Â @nightly-whump, @whumped-cream, @whipper-whumper, @ghostcomit, @yet-another-heathen @why-not-whump-it (let me know if youâd like to be added!)Â
He thought the ropes were a little excessive.
Of course, his captors might have thought it more than necessary based on the amount of trouble Lulan had been giving them. It took being outnumbered four to one and a small explosion before he finally fell to their strength. Even then, he never gave them a momentâs rest since getting captured. The handcuffs on his wrists grew tighter the more he struggled against them.
The ropes around his arms and torso were just annoying, even if it somehow made them feel safe. In any case, he wasnât planning on making it easy for them.
âHey, watch it!â Lulan growled as they gripped his shoulders painfully and pushed him forward towards a set of closed doors. The doors hissed as they opened, the bridge of the Dicio Councilâs flagship in full view. Lulanâs jaw tightened as they shoved him towards the commanderâs seat, knowing well who was waiting for him there.
âAdmiral, we encountered this Pax Rebel on a scouting mission on the alien planet,â one of the Diçianâs leading him said as she and the other pushed him down to his knees in front of the commanderâs seat, âHeâs already severely injured one corpsman before we managed to subdue and restrain him.â
Lulan felt his nerves creeping under his skin as the shipâs commander turned and set her eyes on him. There was an instinct to keep his eyes down, to avoid fanning the flames of anger he knew was coming for him in time. But then again, not every instinct needed to be followed.
He kept his head high as he locked eyes with Admiral Jentariâs look of mild amusement. He already knew that this was making her day, capturing another Pax Rebel after managing months of hiding and silence. Lulan had loathed every minute of it, the will to fight back itching at him every moment of every day. Heâd gotten his fill of that today, perhaps a little too much.
âWelcome aboard the Maverick, Captain Quioph,â Jentari said as she stood from her seat. âI sincerely hope that you think all the trouble you caused today worth it. I certainly donât appreciate having one of my soldiers hospitalized.â
âHonestly, it has been so far,â Lulan smirked with a toothy grin. He tested against the strength of his bonds, growing uncomfortably tight. âIâm just disappointed I didnât have time to take out more of your lackeys before now.â
âAnd here I thought your General placed diplomacy over conflict and violence.â
âOnly for those who really deserve it.â
His arms fidgeted against the cuffs and ropes as Jentari stepped closer. His teeth gritted behind his forced smile. It wavered slightly as she leaned down and gripped his chin, raising his head until he barely remained on his knees.
âYou and the rest of General Shorvakonâs meddlers have dragged this game on long enough. Most of your Guard division is dead, and the rest of you hiding like cowards, yet you keep fighting. And for what?â
Lulan wished he could punch her square in the jaw. His shoulders shifted as he tried to pull away from her grip. âBelieve me, we think itâs still a hell of a lot better than living under the Councilâs rule.â
âYouâll have to come up with a better reason than that.â
Lulan growled from deep in his throat. He had to maintain the façade, had to keep this up and keep her distracted as long as possible. The longer he kept her focus on him meant that she wouldnât look for the others. They would be safe, hidden away until they could find a way back home. Or simply survive.
âIâm giving you one last chance to tell me where the other Pax Rebels are on this planet, before this gets ugly,â she said as her nails dug into his skin, âI will not be this nice if I have to ask again.â Â
Lulan groaned, feeling beads of blood slowly run down his chin to the floor. He let out a harsh chuckle. âYeah, right. Like Iâm gonna tell you one fucking thing, you Diçian kharra.â
The satisfaction in his word still lingered after Jentari released him and slapped the back of her hand across his cheek. He fell to the floor on his side, the cuffs digging into the flesh of his wrists and threatening to bring forth more blood. Angry murmurs from the other Diçian officers echoed around him. That was worth it too, he thought to himself. If he was going to suffer by their hands, then he was going to make the most out of being their greatest inconvenience.
âTake him down to the detention block,â Jentari turned to one of the other officers, âTonĂĄr, I believe you will take the greatest pleasure in conducting his interrogation. Drag out any information on the Rebelsâ whereabouts. And⊠have some fun with it.â
Lulan growled under his breath as his weight pulled against the ropes, lifting him to his feet as he was led off the bridge. His cheek still stung, and he kept the same smile on his face even as he felt his courage waver. He would keep up the defiance, the strength, as long as he possibly could. Even so, he chuckled to himself sadly.
Looks like the gangâs gonna have to learn to live without me.
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CW: prisoner, blood, electrocution, interrogation, death threats, head injury
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The taste of blood reached towards the back of his throat as he coughed. The act sent a sharp pain through his trachea, but he clenched his teeth firmly and forced a smile all the same. He could tell his captor didnât like it when a fist grabbed a handful of his green hair and wrenched his head back to look at him.
âDonât tell me youâre actually enjoying this, Captain,â TonĂĄr growled in his ear.
âNoâŠâ Lulan strained through raspy vocal chords, âIt actually fucking hurts⊠but itâs funny that your mind goes thereâŠâ
He coughed and TonĂĄr released him and slapped the back of his hand against his cheek. Lulanâs head whipped to the side, throwing his weight against the restraints on his wrists. He didnât budge, the forcefield around him keeping the cuffs in place above his head. They took his armor a while ago, leaving him in his tracksuit, torn and bloodied from TonĂĄrâs inventive interrogation tactics. Lulan wasnât sure how long he had been here at this point. The Admiralâs henchmen didnât exactly keep him up to date with the time. They werenât even nice enough to give him a cell with a window. Figures.
âWhatâs funny is you thinking this is all some kind of game,â TonĂĄr circled him from behind, âAnd youâre either an idiot or your sense of humor is just fucked up.â
âItâs both,â Lulan laughed bringing up more coughing from deep in his chest. âIâm surprised you donât think itâs a game, honestly. Hasnât it always been a game to you⊠the rest of us being your little toys to play with and throw away when you get bored?â
âIâm not the one broken and bleeding in a cell.â
Lulan shrugged as much as he was able, his shoulders screaming in their awkward position. âS-Stakes are just higher for me, I guess.â
âSeems so.â
Lulan heard the crackle of electricity before it surged out from the base of his spine throughout his body. His mouth dropped open in a scream, limbs seizing and shaking as the current arched off his skin in bright lights. It lasted only a few agonizing moments before finally stopping. He slumped against the bonds as he panted for breath. From behind him, TonĂĄr walked back out with a long electric prod in one hand. A small smile spread across his face.
I hate that fucking prod.
âLetâs say this is all a game,â TonĂĄr twirled the prod in the air before bringing the end under Lulanâs chin and forcing his head back up. Lulan bared his teeth, the heat from the metal nodes still present on his skin.
âAt this point, itâs pretty clear who the winners here are. And you canât tell me you and your traitorous friends arenât tired. So, why not just give up at this point? There is no point in keeping this up anymore. And believe meâŠâ
TonĂĄr turned and pressed the prodâs end hard into the soft spot over Lulanâs jugular. Lulanâs breath hitched in his throat weakly, and he clenched his fists tightly to keep from shaking.
âIf I have to deal with this same bullshit when we capture the rest of your Guard, I will make them suffer in every way youâre suffering now. Is that really what you want for them, hm? I mean it. Iâll bleed their hearts out until theyâre screaming and begging for death. And you⊠will watch all of it. Do you understand me, Captain?â
Lulan groaned quietly, the prod now blocking most of the air to his lungs the harder TonĂĄr pressed. His lips quivered as he struggled to breath. The cold, blue stare from TonĂĄr bore into him, greedy for Lulanâs fear. But he refused to feed it. He refused to feel small. He locked glares with TonĂĄr, orange eyes alight with the fire in his heart, and smiled.
âY-Youâd have to f-find them firstâŠâ
TonĂĄr growled and switched the prod on. The current threw Lulanâs head back with a force, seizing up the muscles in his neck. His mouth gaped open as he choked, unable to breath or scream until TonĂĄr pulled away. He fell forward, his throat burning for air to fill his lungs. Even now, he couldnât get any. Canât breathe⊠Canât breathe⊠But he must. He coughed again and felt droplets of blood scatter across his tongue and lips.
âYou fucking prick,â TonĂĄr snarled at him. âIâll have you begging for mercy when this is all over!â
âYou really think Iâm gonna beg by the end of this?!â Lulan shouted at him with a laugh. âGuess what? My life is already over! So youâre gonna have to do a lot better than this pathetic little show if you wanna get anything out of me!â
The look of pure fury on TonĂĄrâs face was better than any other gift Lulan had ever received. He couldâve watched it all day before TonĂĄr swung the end of the prod against his temple. A white flash of pain streaked across his vision and he went limp against the restraints. He didnât black out, but everything around him became fuzzy and undefined. He was only vaguely aware of TonĂĄr coming closer, hovering above him until he spoke directly into his ear.
âYouâre gone after this, Rebel. But until then, Iâll make you wish you were never born. Do you understand me?!â
Lulan winced as TonĂĄrâs voice rose to a shout, causing a horrible ringing in his ears. His lips struggled to form the words he wanted to respond, coming out more as a quiet mutter. A heat radiated from the side of his head, and he felt blood running down to his neck. TonĂĄrâs shadow passed over him as he stepped away, and he gritted his teeth tightly for whatever came next.
TonĂĄr stood back up where his eyes met with the tangle of chains wrapped around Lulan's wheels. If drastic measures were to be taken, then restraining him up by just his ankles would've been child's play. The rims of Lulan's wheels had turned a sickly gray within the first hour, a color which had now reached halfway up his feet and ankles. One was already shifted too far out in what was surely a painful dislocation. The other seemed to barely stay in place.