#lu wu

We were in and out of the portal in a matter of minutes. All four of us were now safely back where we started. I guess I had nothing to worry about after all.

Then suddenly the ground beneath us began to swirl. It looked like the wind was starting to pick up, but I noticed that it was only dirt that surrounded us that was acting up. It was too localized to be natural. "Something's happening," I said. "We need to move!"

But before we could the swirls of dust began to coalesce around us. Whatever it was, they had us surrounded. Slowly, five distinct figures began to appear. I didn't know what to do, but it was clear we were in trouble. As the figures of dust turned into physical people, I realized they were the cloaked figures that had scattered us across the dimensions. They had returned. The four cloaked figures were back and they had Lu Wu with them!

"Fools,"  they hissed. "To return after so long..." 

"It's only been about a minute for me," Kink said. 

"Really?" I asked. "You're going to do that now?" 

"Frank, they..." 

"Silence!" the cloaked figures thundered. "You shall not return a second time!"

"You're right." Tam shot a wave of distortions out at them. For a few seconds, the cloaked figures' solidity broke down. "Kink! Isolation cages!" 

"Right!" Kink ejected discs from a slot under her triceps. Suddenly two of the figures were frozen within energy spheres. The other two had dissipated into dust and they'd taken Lu Wu with them. 

"Good job," I said. 

"Two of them are still free," Tam countered. 

"Let's deal with what we have," Kink said, looking at the readout on her forearm. "I'm getting some strange readings here."

to be continued here next week 

"I mean, we don't want to just eliminate them from existence, do we? From what I've heard that has been tried and it failed miserably."

"Yes," I looked at Kink. "Eliminating the Time Police all together did not work out well."

"Make them forget us?" G'fon suggested.

"Yes," Tam replied. "And how long will that last? Like any of us could keep from breaking any of their rules."

"That's true," I said looking directly at Kink.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "They meant because of how harsh the Time Cops' rules are. Not because of what any of us may or may not do."

"I meant that tying to get the Time Police to forget us would be pointless," Tam said. "They exist throughout time. None of us are likely to lay low for the rest of our existence. They'd be aware of us again instantaneously."

"Not to mention," I pointed out, "that making them forget us doesn't solve the actual problem of the Time Police and their excessiveness. We need something that would calm them down, something that would make them return to their original way of doing things."

"Or maybe a little more, I don't know, let's say lenient."

"Kink," I admonished her.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Just because we're trying to save all of existence doesn't mean we can't make things a little better for us while we're at it."

"Yes, it does," Lu said. "Selfishness is the destruction of the many."

"What now?" Kink said.

"To achieve our goal, our hearts must be pure."

"So you're saying I should just leave then?" Kink began to laugh at her own joke.

"I am being serious. This is a serious endeavor. The righting of the universal order. If you are not serious about this, perhaps it would be best if you did leave."

"I should leave?" Kink said, growing angry. "Maybe you should leave! I started this! You're the new guy! You don't even care about this!"

"Ok, calm down, Kink," I said. "He didn't mean it."

"I meant it," Lu said. "You asked for my help. I am not here to play games."

"Games!" Kink snarled. "My life is on the line here! My very existence! I'm not playing any games! I'm dead serious!"

"Good, then perhaps you should act that way."

"All right, primitive man," Kink replied. "Give me lessons on coping mechanisms. Because there's certainly no way the understanding of the human mind has evolved past what you know in the past several thousand years."

"Apologies," Lu said, taken aback.

"Save your apologies," Tam said. "And let's instead worry about whatever that is."

to be continued next week

"And that's why I'm here," Lu Wu said as he came into being. "As the gatekeeper of this reality, it is my responsibility to protect it."

"Lu!" I exclaimed. "How'd you get here?"

"With the amount of magical energy the horn was giving off, I could find it anywhere."

"Or anywhen?"

"As long as I remain the gatekeeper, I can follow the horn no matter the time, place, reality or dimension," he said.

"But they're already gone," Tilly said. "If you could travel through time, why'd you miss them?"

"All I do is follow a trail. Perhaps that is not as accurate as you're used to, but it is the best that I can do. If you have anything better, then please use that."

"We don't," I admitted. "So we appreciate your help, Lu, but I'm just curious, where's the Sharkwoman?"

"The...what?"

"The Sharkwoman? You know, Shayu."

"Shayu?" he stuttered. "How do...but you...that's not..." He let an angry sigh. "I hate altered reality. It's so frustrating having to deal with two separate timelines in my head. They're just sitting there on top of each. It can get confusing. As the timeline currently stands, General Zlodeyskiy never came to power so we never had to fight him. So I never had to take you to the other dimension, so you never met up with Shayu and she never came back to our dimension with you."

"But that should mean we never got the horn from that giant monster."

"Yeah," Lu replied. "It doesn't work like that. The horn doesn't affect itself, at least not inadvertently. The hornholder isn't going to accidently wish themselves out of control of the horn. The only way we're going to be able to retrieve the horn is by going out there and getting it."

"All right," I said, "then I guess we better go out there and get it."

"I think I should stay here," David said. "This does not seem...like my thing. I don't..."

"You're not coming, Dad," Doc said. "Should I boot up ALAN?"

"No," Lu said. "Bringing everyone is not a good idea. There's already too many of you."

"Oh," Doc said. "I guess I can stay here."

"I'm going," Tilly said. "She's my mother."

"You're not going without me," Jamal said.

"Then the four of us it will be," Lu said. "No more time to waste, prepare for the transition. It is not always pleasant." Lu began to chant and his hands began to glow. "The chase begins," he said and we disappeared in a flash of light.

to be continued next week

The giant rock creature continued to rise out of the ground and we continued to get further and further away from the ground. At this point, I was basically trapped up there. Jumping down had long disappeared from being an option. I wouldn't survive that. The question was, what was this creature and what did it want with me? Did it even know I was here? Did it care? Was I in grave danger?

Rock began to rise out of the giant's shoulder. I turned around and saw that it was rising all around me! I was being boxed in! I had to get out of there!

I started to climb out over the rising wall, but then I remembered Wu. I couldn't just leave him in there. I ran over to get him. I picked him up and put him over me shoulder. I rushed back toward the wall hoping I could get out of there. But, no, I was too late. The wall was too high. I wouldn't be able to leap over it while carrying Wu. I considered tossing him over, but even if I could manage it, he'd have no one to catch him on the other side. It seemed we were both trapped in here.

As the rock dome closed over our heads, I realized that there was no way out for us. The dome closed and all light vanished. As I stood in complete darkness, I wondered how it would end for us. Were we to be swallowed whole by this monster or mashed up? Were there creatures waiting to be released to tear us apart? Were we to be ripped into pieces? Or were we simply going to be left in here to suffocate?

It certainly didn't seem to be that last one, as I saw something glowing rising out of the floor. I began to worry if it was radioactive. And then, as it continued to rise and reveal itself, I began to worry if it was alive and, if it was, did it want to kill us? I stepped in front of Wu. If this creature was dangerous, I would face it first. I would do my best to protect Wu. Maybe I could save him. And if I couldn't, I'd have at least tried. What else could I do?

I was prepared to die if needs be. If that was what would happen then so be it. I prepared to face this monster when I noticed there was something familiar in the way it glowed. That reddish light, it was almost crimson. Wait...crimson? Na Fru? I looked closely. It was him! It was Na Fru! I ran toward him. "You're all right!"

He presented his arm which was immobilized against his body from his neck to his forearm by a rock encasing. "I am not all right. I am ready to end this. I am injured and I seek vengeance. So tell me, Frank Clay, will you help me claim my vengeance?"

to be continued next week

"Lina?" I urged. "Sweetie?"

Tilly moved her head toward me, but her eyes stayed on the boy in front of us. "Huh?"

"Say hello to the General and his son."

"Hello?" I believe the sound that came out of Tilly's mouth would be called a titter. I'd never heard her make that sound before.

"Yes, hello. To the GENERAL and his son." Tilly's eyes moved toward me. She looked confused. "The General and his son," I repeated, "say hello to them."

Her eyes went wide with understanding and probably embarrassment. "Hello," she said.

"Hello, Miss Stone," the General with a bow of his head.

"Hi," Mayhew added, bashfully.

Tilly tittered again. I tried not to laugh. "Perhaps you'd like to show, Uh, Lina the giraffes?" the General suggested. "I believe the trainers will let you pet them."

"They will?" Tilly asked. "I've never petted a giraffe before."

"W-would you like to?" Mayhew asked. "Would you like to pet my giraffe?" I watched as Tilly and Mayhew walked away.

"You have a lovely daughter," the General said.

"Thank you," I replied. "Your son is also..."

"Ambassador Stone!" Lu Wu interrupted. "It is so good to see you again!"

I glared at him. "It's only been a few hours, Ambassador Lu."

He smiled. "A few hours apart from your beauty feels like years."

The General looked him up and down, not looking particularly happy. "Is there something wrong, Ambassador?" the General asked.

Lu Wu shook his head. "Quite the opposite. I am having a most excellent time. This is an excellent party. My children are having the time of their lives."

The General nodded. "Wonderful." He clearly didn't mean it.

"I'm sure my children will be happy to see that Lina has come down. You know, General, that Miss Stone's daughter is very lovely. She and my children really get along."

The General glared at him. "Yes."

"And now my daughter is spending time with Mayhew," I said.

Lu Wu frowned. "Is she?"

"Yes," the General said. "I believe they are getting along quite well. Just like I hope Miss Stone and I will."

Were they fighting over me? They couldn't be. But it sure felt like they were. It felt like I was a trophy they both wanted to win. I felt objectified, as if I didn't really matter, what I thought, what I wanted. I didn't like this one bit. "I think it's up to Lina who she spends time with. If she enjoys their company that's fine, if not then I hope they know to give her space."

to be continued next week

I nodded. "Yes. I'm sure that was it. She...really is...such...an angel. Isn't she?"

"She is," Hera agreed. "We are all loving her."

"Who's we?" I asked.

"Some of the other guests," Hera said. "She has been entertaining some of the younger children."

"Yes. Lina loves the children. I'd love to come down, Hera. Why don't I change first, though."

"Lovely. I'll wait outside, Ms. Stone."

After putting on some clothes that I thought were appropriate, I met with Hera and we went downstairs. We entered a large white room. There were no windows, but the ceiling was made of glass letting the sun light the room. There were large tables covered with food. I found Tilly playing with some small children. Noticing me walk in, she smiled and waved. I had no choice but to smile back and she knew it. "This is Lu Wu," Hera said. "He's the ambassador from China."

The man smiled at me as he shook my hand. "Hello," I said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stone. It is Miss, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Miss is fine."

"Your daughter has been very entertaining. My children just love her," he said.

"Yes," I said. "She can be quite the charmer."

"She must get it from her mother."

"And where is Mrs. Lu?" I asked changing the subject.

"She is dead," he replied.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

Mr. Lu smiled. "It is all right. She died five years ago when the children were little. I have raised them alone. And where is Mr. Stone?"

"There is no Mr. Stone."

I didn't like the look on Lu's face, a predatory type of hope. "We are both alone."

"Except our children."

"Of course. But that is just one more thing we have in common." He grinned.

Ok, yeah, he was totally hitting on me. I backed away. I told him I was hungry and went to get some food, but he followed me over to the table. I didn't know what to do to get rid of him. I could see Tilly wasn't going to help me. She was enjoying my discomfort. How was I supposed to tell this guy that I was really a man? The truth was, I couldn't. Especially since this body was entirely, 100% a woman.

Fortunately, Tilly relented and saved me soon after. And the two of us pretended to be happy as we made our back to the room. As soon as the door closed, I asked, "Is it still working?"

"The simulation on the surveillance system? It never stopped."

"Good...What the hell are you doing?" I screamed.

Mathilda looked confused. "I was having breakfast."

I glared at her. "You know what I mean. You didn't come back! I didn't know where you were? You could have gotten caught? You could've been hurt!"

Tilly stared at me. "Seriously? Getting into the mom role a bit, aren't we?"

"Tilly, I've known you since you were a little kid. We're family. Don't give me that nonsense. You need to be more careful."

"Ok, ok," she said, finally understanding. "...But now can I finally tell you what I found?"

to be continued next week

Gathering the leaves

“The Ch’a Ching [The Holy Scripture of Tea by the poet Lu Wu] consists of three volumes and ten chapters. In the first chapter Lu Wu treats of the nature of the tea-plant, in the second of the implements for gathering the leaves, in the third of the selection of the leaves. According to him the best quality of the leaves must have ‘creases like the leathern boot of Tartar horsemen, curl like the dewlap of a mighty bullock, unfold like a mist rising out of a ravine, gleam like a lake touched by a zephyr, and be wet and soft like fine earth newly swept by rain.’”

-- from The Book of Tea (Chapter II, “The Schools of Tea”) by Kakuzo Okakura