Regardless of Asexual Awareness Week. Some people are still not recognized in the LGBT Community. Oct 22-28
This is where being on the Asexual Spectrum can become lost in translation. People within the community still find it a bit taboo even though Asexuals are without a doubt a part of our identity.
Being Asexual Fact Vs Myth:
Myth: Only People Who Are Identified as an LGBT Individual can call be an Asexual/ on the spectrum.
Fact: Anyone regardless of orientation/ life style/ etc. CAN BE Asexual/ on the specturm.
Myth: Being Asexual is the only label that can best explain how you identity yourself.
Fact : Being Asexual is both an identity and an Umbrella term for other identities. Again things can make sense one minute then causing further questions the next here is a brief summary of the other identities
Now for the second part of this answer. How to tell the difference between a Demisexual Vs. Asexual?
Much like the people I’ve been talking about they too can either be recognized or not so much. It took me longer to come out cause I wasn’t even sure if there was even a label for what I represented.
The ways I discovered my Demisexuality was both dramatic and painfully confusing. Dating very little whenever I did dated. I could never be so sure if my feelings for that person were all that there. An ex of mine from my early 20′s became suspicious of me not loving him after awhile. Because one time we were trying to see if there was a sexual attracting and that’s when it hit me. We were only together for 3 months since that time I really didn’t felt like talking about sex in front of them again. Then in the mist of my bizarre behavior I felt it was best for us to break up because I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
After our breakup the reminder kept haunted me threw the rest of my 20 somethings-
Trying to forget... Again and again. And again and again And again...
It use to bother me back in school why I didn’t seem that interest in dating at the same time everyone else wanted to experimented.
Feeling broken. Feeling isolated solitude almost driving myself to the point of literal suicidal attempts. Being stuck on these thoughts for weeks or even months on end til having to go into Counseling when it become too agonizing. Discussing everything else that made me felt the way I did but avoided going into depth about my sexual history. Trying to fix the problem by looking at Picture pornography. Reading Yaoi. Anything to see if being sex repulsed is even the issue. It wasn’t the problem but then why did I still felt like this?
It became too unbearable to even date for a while. Beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with me anyways without little explanation?? Every time I’ve tried to get close to someone those events began playing back in my mind. It became a habit to just disclose my past experiences threw social media til they came back sometime last year at long last finally discovering a 26+ long eluded reason for my hot n’ cold sexual demeanor.
Discovering the term much later on life is still extremely bitter-sweet because of those times spent like I was just trapped in-the-dark- feeling lost. About the way I perceive sexual attraction for anyone.
When most of us had tried to include Sex at some point into the relationship. We could be a bit reluctant if something causes us to make us change our minds. Another thing is Demisexuals can mistake harmless flirting for sexual harassment even if the person isn’t acting abrasive .
Demisexuals are in the best way describe a person whose on the Asexual Spectrum but is more open to still exploring both emotional and psychical desires like Non Asexuals do.
We at times feel more invisible even when we do go out of our way to help others better understand what it means to be either? Did you notice that regardless the difference in the identities they are still used among the other label? Because there universally used . You can even be 2 Spirited and be apart of either label.
