Aug 8, 2018
More yummy’s arrived today this excellent quality vanilla essence and vanilla pods. Already used in the chocolate torte. Plenty left for loads more yummy foods. #lovevanilla #vanilla #deserts #organic #foodism
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More yummy’s arrived today this excellent quality vanilla essence and vanilla pods. Already used in the chocolate torte. Plenty left for loads more yummy foods. #lovevanilla #vanilla #deserts #organic #foodism
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Thinking about trying our Vanilla Bean Whipped Cream? Put in a piping bag and layer with #peaches for a delicious treat!!! #madewithmybakersbox #taylorandcolledge #vanillabean #lovevanilla #peachesandcream #baking #summer #bake #gift #subscriptionbox #bakingsubscriptionbox #bakingsubscription #bakingclub
Just made the most delicious fresh whip cream with the #taylorandcolledge vanilla bean paste from our August box! Recipe will be on our blog tomorrow! #LOVEVANILLA #whipcream #madewithmybakersbox #yum #baking #bakersbox #bake #instafood #bakingclub #subscriptionbox
Friday lunch with 🍾 #lovemacarons #lovevanilla (at Bottega Louie Restaurant and Gourmet Market)
Insecurites vs Gut feelings
Everyone always says to trust your gut and to always listen to that little voice in your head. And i honestly believe that is some good advice but i never know how to follow it. I believe in souls and auras and i am very good at reading a person and knowing if i should trust them or not. Most of the time I'm right about a person. If i pick up bad vibes or if my soul isn't drawn to that person it is usually for a very good reason. I consider this my 6th sense and it works really good till it comes to my romantic connections. I haven't had the best luck with men in the past. I blame it on my initial lack of self worth and starting too early. So its safe to say i picked up alot of insecurities. So when i try to listen to my gut or my intuition or that little voice, i don't ever know what I'm hearing until its too late. I don't know if when I'm hearing stay away if it's because its best or stay away because I'm scared. And its something i struggle with a lot. I just wish i could separate the 2 because i usually just end up getting hurt which adds to my insecurities. And the funny thing is after the fact then i see clearly, yea that was my gut telling me to stay away.
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I haven't written in a while. I can't find the time.... Sad thing is I'm busy worrying. Worrying about my future. Whether i will ever get the job i like or any job for that matter. Or if i'll end up working someplace i dont want to just for the money and get stuck and end up being miserable for the rest of my life. Worrying if i will ever get to start the projects i want to. Worrying if i'll ever start writing my book. Worrying if i'll ever get out of the financial situation i'm in. ...if i'll ever be able to advance with my life. I literally just finished university a few weeks ago . I feel like this is the time where i should be taking a break, enjoying being a kid for a while until I become a 'real' adult. But i cant. I feel the pressure of finding a job and starting my life right away. I can already hear and sense the silent and verbal judging i'll get if i dont get a job soon. People will just assume i'm not doing anything with my life. And i don't want that pressure or negativity. So instead i pressure myself, give myself the negativity. Make myself miserable and unhappy and prevent myself from doing something i love. I feel more stressed out and under pressure than i ever did while i was in college.
When I'm sad and u notice, constantly talking about how sad i look and if i was crying will make me sadder and probably make me cry. If i don't wanna talk about it please just ignore my sad expression, don't bring it up. I already dont like attention, attention while I'm trying not to cry makes me want to fall into the earth.
I try so hard not to get my heart broken but sometimes i just end up breaking my own heart. I try so hard not to hurt any one and I always just end up hurting myself. Having to tell someone anything that may potentially hurt them, hurts me so much more. Im never brave enough to be upfront. Im weak. I tried to be brave this time and i feel like all this pressure is pushing down on me. I cant stop crying, i dont know why i feel like this. Sad thing is it probably doesn't hurt them at all.