#love maps

Dr. John Gottman is a renowned relationship expert and his research on building a “Love Map” emphasizes the importance of knowing your partner’s inner world in order to build a strong and lasting relationship. The concept of the Love Map is based on the idea that a strong relationship is built on a foundation of knowledge and understanding of your partner’s thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams,…

but I can’t find the words

i hope those are enough

cause what if I overwhelm you with love

what if you decide my expression

just isn’t the right kind?

cause it hasn’t been

the right kind

last night I fell asleep

with a broken heart at my side

i held it close

and was okay

the pain and grief

are panic stricken friends

it’s not easy to feel these things

they are so intense

try to be so

consuming

and I didn’t call you last night

i didn’t even ask

cause I’ve been told before

to wait till all our moments have passed

before I try to take up space

give them all the space

and none for me

never to be

seen

so you see, I’m loving you

like a broken thing

i can’t always come here

cause I’m afraid you’ll be annoyed with me

it’s all I’ve known of love

between friends, between lovers

and big talkers

and hopeless things

and I’m not saying I can’t be

annoying

but I gotta doubt sometimes

how much is welcoming

and can I really ask for anything

and do you really

want to see me?

i don’t speak up too much

I’m keeping tally counts to estimate

if it might be safe enough

to risk taking up another moment of yours

and hope it’s not too soon

cause “again” was such a criminal word

i paid my dues too often

i can’t do that to this little heart

again

i don’t know that she could take it

feels like an eternity was taken

to be able to say I made it

so I want to be able to show up and say

i love you

i just get worried those words

are too much

they used to inevitably always be

too much

Love Maps by Eliza Factor

Top 11 Quotes From The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman

Over 40 year period, 67% of first marriages will break up. Half of divorces occur within the first 7 years, but people who stay married live on average 4 years longer. But even when couples stay together, bad marriages lead to many negative physical and psychological consequences, such as heart disease, anxiety, depression, and even suicide, violence, psychosis, homicide, substance abuse, etc.