Hi, I’m Cyn I’m ANTI AI write/draw it yourself!Sometimes I write 🥰 Always posted on ao3, I made the decision to restrict it to registered users only 🫶 I am a self indulgent writer and I write purely for myself (few exceptions, but even so I enjoy the fics I write for others). I share my fics on the off chance someone else might like them too, I don’t feel the need to defend my choices especially if I don’t know you. If we’ve established a connection, then I’m all for chatting and explaining my thinking. Send an Ask or Reply to a post and we can start there! 😘 I highly encourage writing your own fic, make it how you want. Please don’t try to cater a fic to me (I’m extremely picky) or anyone else. Do it for you! 🩵
I’m very easily set off by the canon ship and my notp. It’s not cool to be rude and leave mean comments. There are people who like those ships and make things for them. I just refuse to engage.
I’m a fangirl first and foremost so I thrive off leaving love letters and reblogging things (primarily on my main account). I only comment on things I enjoyed, I don’t like angst/mcd.
I guess I have to add the super obvious, there are no bad endings in my fics (unless I specify in the beginning and I will tag it cause I know how it feels since I hate reading that shit myself.) if you’ve read one you’re read them all imo. We just take slightly different routes to get to the same conclusion: my ships are meant to be in every single universe and that’s final! I preach commenting because I think it’s the absolute least we can do when an author has done so much by giving us these amazing fics to read, but I’m not someone who needs/wants praise, don’t comment if you’re gonna be annoying. Either read it and move on or just exit the fic, it’s really not that difficult.
Okay I give up, I’m just gonna list all my fics and tag them on this post instead. Again this is for my own personal benefit.
CoAi/ShinShi {grey otp}
Confession Chronicles
Redamancy Series- Promised Protection • New Year’s Day • The Eyes On You • Touch and Stay • Umbrella • Shark Attack • I Love You! • Poison • A Rose by any Other Name • Sunburn • Tip of the Tongue
My Life Turns Your Life Into Folklore Forevermore Series- Folklore Twist • Forever & Evermore • Don’t Blame Me • You Belong With Me? • How Many Minutes To Midnight? • Guilty As Sin? • Ruin the Friendship
Reciprocating Relationship
I Know You
Christmas Fics: Always Choose The Heart • Forget The Fallout, Let’s Be Alone Together • And We Keep Falling • Nothing’s Changed • Angel • Midwinter • All in a Row • Part of the Family
Revised Recollection
Be Mine?
A Kiss For The Obvious
First Kiss
13
Love, Learned
I Can Make Your Heart Race
Such A Tease Series- Play Pretend • Picturesque • DreamOf Me • Devour • Blame it on the Drugs
Irreversible (a kaishi endgame verse but this part is all shinshi, see Run To Change The Endgame)
There’s Nothing Triangle About It
What Do You Want?
Lo Lo Love Me (+) Lo Lo Lost
CoAi Week Things: Superposition • Versus • Critical • It’s You and Me, That’s My Whole World • I Just Want Your 2 Hands On Me • Wishing on Dandelions
I Hate Accidents, Except When We Went From Friends To This (flufftober 2022) • Met You At The Right Time (flufftober 2025)
Kiss Of Life
Public Transportation
Triple Threat
And Another Thing! (Extras/What If scenes from established versus)
Every Dog Has His Day
In(de)finite (yearoftheotp 2023)
Honey I’m A Sucker When You Linger Series- I Only Lie When I Love You • I Wish I Cared Less
Love Me Like You Do (coailovefest2024)
When I Look At You…
Consent and Kisses
Off Limits
Mistake
I Want More
Might As Well Be Drunk In Love
Nobody’s Perfect
I Can Love Him Better
That’s My Man
It Hurts, Doesn’t It?
How Could She!
Inevitable Series- A Moment Of Weakness • Forget Me Not • 7 Minutes in Heaven… • Probably Chemical, Definitely Terminal • Hard Pill to Swallow • The Experiment
Love Me, But Don’t Fall For Me
Proximity
Missed Match? (CoAiHalloween2025)
Play House
Keep it Casual
Stay Away From Her
I Love You, I’m Sorry
Catch My Lies
Collabs with Vordark, my beloved <3
It’s What You and I Do
1+1=2, x2? (Ongoing)
Baby, It's You
Love At First Sight
WIPs I desperately need to finish…
Point Of View Series- It’s Not Just Acting (Yukiko) • Second Language (Jodie)
Real Or Not Real Series- Rinse, Forgive, Rewind • False Memories
They Say Love Is Pain (soulmate verse)
[A Marriage Proposal, Or Two- one is kaishi, two is shinshi]
🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶
<KaiShi> {steal my heart ship}
Run To Change The Endgame (ongoing)
All Your Love
Hug Prescription
He’s Funny
It’s Like My Birthday, Except…
A Day Out With The Kids
It Starts With A Kiss
Setup
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
(Other Shiho Ships)
Fleeting Feelings (technically an all Shiho ship fic)
Love, It Was Enough To Recognize (AU-gust 2024)
Bro Code (mostly ShinShi but also KaiShi)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Duncney {red otp}
Another Universe (based off Marcy’s Just One Universe)
Shituationship (duncney week 2023 day 7 Aka canon duncney day!)
I Really Wish I Hated You (duncney week 2024 day 7)
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Every day he has to hold back those three little words, it’s a miracle he’s lasted so long when he fell for her on their wedding day. He almost told her on their first wedding anniversary, and now they’re approaching their second. He’s not sure how much longer he can keep things the way they are. By all means they are a happily married couple and ever since the incident with her being jealous over his secretary, he knows she feels the same. She just refuses to admit it.
“Why are you leaving so early?”
“We’re meeting them at two right?”
“We changed it to three, remember?”
“We did?”
“I sometimes wonder how you’re able to solve all these cases, but forget about these kinds of things in your own life.”
“It’s why I have you, to remind me.”
“I won’t be here forever Shinichi, you’re going to be such a mess without me.”
“I don’t think I would ever recover if you left me.”
“That’s a bit dramatic, you did just fine before meeting me.”
“I didn’t live until I met you.”
“… I see right through you, just because we have an extra hour now…”
“Tell me to stop, and I will.”
He knows she wouldn’t even consider it, pressing her lips against his feeling the way her body melts in his arms. With every step he took back into their house away from the front door his mind was already thinking about all the ways he could have her and still be somewhat on time for their appointment with their friends. He’ll have to be careful not to ruin her dress again, she wouldn’t let him touch her for days after. Until he bought her another one to replace it.
His hands trail up her thigh, moving underneath the flowy skirt to reach for her panties. Except she’s not wearing any, meaning she was planning on ruining him after the get together or maybe even during, who knows. He keeps his hands on her hips, breaking their kiss to look at her with an accusing stare. She doesn’t even bother playing innocent, telling him she was going to jump him in the car, before or after he’ll never know. Pulling his collar, she tugs him towards her to claim his lips once more. He can feel her fingers lightly dancing across the soft material of his shirt, moving down to his pants. He pushes her back against the wall, she hitches one leg over his waist pulling him closer as he squeezes her ass. Their kisses become more intense as they begin to lose themselves with each other. The sound of a handbag dropping on the wooden floor, alerts them of an intruder. They’re both embarrassed to see that it’s their case worker here to check in with them. They immediately separate, keeping distance to try and make this less awkward. He keeps his mouth shut and allows her to do all the talking, he can barely look the woman in the eyes.
“I didn’t mean to just barge in, the door was left open.”
“You’re not interrupting anything, we’re supposed to meet our friends later anyways.”
Shiho flashes him a look that tells him he’s in trouble for not closing the door properly when he was trying to leave the house earlier. He was already preoccupied with other thoughts when she told him they had some time alone. Did he really forget to lock the front door? Rookie mistake, it’s better to leave the planning to her, he’s too much of an in the moment kind of guy.
“I can come back another day.”
“No, no it’s fine. It’s supposed to be a surprise visit. Besides, it's been over a year since the last time you dropped by.”
“You’ve been married for almost two years now with no problems. We didn’t feel the need to keep harassing you two. It won’t be long now until this is all wrapped up, just a few more months to get all the paperwork through.”
“That’s great news.”
“I’ll set up a proper appointment when the time comes, so expect a call.”
The visit goes well, just a quick look through the house to see how they’re doing. She smiles at the happy couple as she leaves, that’s different. It seems she finally believes Shinichi’s feelings aren’t one sided, maybe they’re finally getting somewhere. He dares to imagine what their lives would be like now that it’s real, except he’s already living it.
“Okay we’re both here and we’re sitting down. What’s going on Ran?”
“… we’re expecting!”
“Really? Congratulations! I didn’t even know you were trying.”
“It’s something Shuichi and I have talked about… it wasn’t technically planned or really an accident… but I’m really happy about it! You guys are going to be an Aunt and Uncle! Shiho? I thought you would be more excited for me…”
“I am happy for you Ran. I guess I’m still in shock? I never imagined Shuichi as the family man type I guess, especially with his occupation.”
“It won’t be easy, but I’ve always wanted to have kids and believe it or not he likes the idea of it too. I know we’re in this together.”
“You two are so in love, even after all these years. I swear you’re meant for each other, I can’t wait to see my cute little niece or nephew whenever they arrive.”
They spend the rest of the evening on the phone talking about the baby news. Shinichi zones out a bit, daydreaming about this scenario happening to them instead. He remembers their past conversation where she didn’t want to have children, but now that it’s real would she change her mind? He can see it now, a little girl with her eyes or even a little boy with her hair color running around the house making their lives more full. He wants that with her.
“What about you two? When are you going to have kids?”
“Well, that’s up to Shiho.” He kisses her on the cheek, she stiffens.
“I’m not like you Ran, I would be a terrible mother. I don’t think I’ll ever have kids.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Shiho. Shuichi thought the same thing, he didn’t think he could be a good father, but you should see him fussing over all the things we have to prepare.”
“It’s getting late, and I’m sure you have more people to tell. I’ll let you go. Let me know when you plan on having a baby shower, I’ll be on the next plane back to see you.”
She hangs up the phone then excuses herself to get ready for bed. He knows their last exchange bothered her, he should leave her be and let her tell him when she’s ready. It doesn’t stop him from worrying. Did she freeze because she never intends on having children, or is it something else? He could deal with her not wanting kids, she’s not obligated to bear his children just because they’re married. Besides, all he needs is her, she’s more than enough for him.
He reaches for her in bed, holding her close as he does every night now that they no longer have any barriers. She gently pushes him away, this he cannot ignore. He touches her arm, hoping she’ll turn back to face him, asking what’s wrong? She stays silent.
“Shiho, talk to me please.”
“I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
“I wasn’t trying to start anything.”
“Maybe we should stop.”
“What? Why?”
“I know you want to have a family, I don’t want to hold you back from that. You’re not getting any younger. You should go find someone who can give everything you want before it’s too late.”
“It’s okay that you don’t want to have kids, I won’t force you.”
“But you want them.”
“Sure, but that just means I get to keep you all to myself.”
She laughs, he smiles happy to see that she’s no longer worrying about something she doesn’t need to. He reaches for her once more, drawing her into his arms, she curls up into his space fitting perfectly in his embrace. He kisses the top of her head, content with just holding her. She isn’t too keen on retiring so early especially when he’s being so sweet. She leaves kisses down his neck while her hands begin to undo the button on his nightshirt.
“I thought you said you weren’t in the mood.”
“I lied… unless you would rather sleep?”
His reply in the form of sneaking under her own nightwear, hand roaming across her soft skin cupping her breast. They take their time riling each other up, slowly removing all the layers between them. Her laughter is light when he can no longer take the teasing, trapping her underneath him careful not to crush her with his weight. Not that she ever complains, she looks so incredibly happy here with him. Green eyes sparkling as they gaze into his, beckoning to come closer so that they can finally be joined as one. He’ll never get over how good it feels to push into her, the way she arches her back to speed up the process, a sigh of content when he bottoms out. She always makes it known her favorite place to be is with him deep inside of her, filling her up. Yes she loves the way he lays between her legs, eating her out and pushing her over the brink, but she prefers feeling him slide in and out of her to chase his own release. Making love together, wanting each other to feel the same amount of pleasure, knowing it’s not just one sided. A state of euphoria that only they can bring each other, no one else would do, there is no other choice.
His breath catches in his throat at the sight of her, she’s heartbreakingly beautiful basking in the afterglow. Her eyes begin to flutter shut, a small smile on her lips as she tries to fight against the sandman calling her to dreamland. Leaning against him, burying her head in his chest, placing a kiss over his beating heart. It swells at the gesture, he loves her so much it’s threatening to spill from his lips. A secret he can no longer contain, not when she’s right here where she belongs. He lets those three little words slip in a whisper so low he wonders if she missed it. I love you. He does not hear a reply from her, she must have already drifted off to sleep. He follows her soon after, but not before he tells her again that he loves her. This time a bit louder, hoping she’ll hear him loud and clear.
He wakes before she does for a change, staying put as he watches the rise and fall of her chest. Content with just spending these few extra minutes watching her as he waits for her to rouse herself awake. He steals a kiss as soon as he sees her eyes beginning to open, blinking away the last remnants of sleep. She happily receives his good morning kiss, continuing to trail featherlight kisses along his jawline. She only stops when he says those three words again.
“I love you.”
She pulls back immediately, moving away as if his confession scorched her. She sits up dragging the sheets to cover herself, her sharp gaze is alert, panic setting in as fight or flight engages. He’s quick to reassure her, but refrains from calling it a mistake. It would be a lie, one that could keep them intact and drop her guard, but it’s not something he can live with anymore. He’s so tired of pretending she isn’t the love of his life, it’s been two long years, hasn’t he waited enough?
“You don’t have to say it back, but… I mean it. I love you Shiho, I’ve loved you for a while now… I just didn’t want to scare you away, but I can’t hold back anymore. I love you, I really do.”
“This isn’t part of the deal… you can’t love me… it’s not… no. Take it back. It’s not supposed to be real.”
“I won’t take it back, it’s true. It’s real to me, has been since the day we got married.”
“… why me?”
“How could it be anyone else? You support me in my career even when no one else could understand. You keep up with me intellectually, sometimes I have trouble following your wit. You’re beautiful inside and out, the way you hide away your heart but it still shines when you think no one is paying attention. From our first meeting I was drawn to you, it’s not something I can explain but it felt like I must have known you in another life. To finally get the chance to hold you, to have you stand by my side, it feels like home. Seeing you smile and hearing your laughter makes me the luckiest guy in the world, especially when I know I’m the reason you’re happy. I love you Miyano Shiho, I’ve loved you from the start and I’ll wait for you to love me back.”
“You shouldn’t… What if I never do? What will you do then Shinichi?”
“It doesn’t change how I feel. You’re it for me Shiho, I don’t want anyone else.”
“Even if I never love you back? That’s not fair to you.”
“… you really don’t feel anything for me?”
“I… I don’t know… I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
“Shiho! Wait!”
She’s already shutting him out, running out the door. It’s a miracle she stayed this long, hearing him out. He feels his heart shatter, he should’ve kept his mouth shut, but how could he when every fiber of his being was screaming at him to let out the truth? Too bad she wasn’t ready for it.
There she goes again, standing way too close to her husband when any respectable human being would know to stay at least an arm’s distance away. She’s definitely into him, and Shiho hates it. Truth be told she doesn’t know much about his secretary, they’ve barely interacted, always missing each other. Sometimes she wonders if that’s done on purpose… she has to stop feeding into these thoughts, it makes her feel sick thinking about it. Surely Shinichi isn’t the type to fall victim to a horrible cliché, right? The boss sleeping with his secretary while the poor wife at home is none the wiser. Her eyes narrow when she sees the temptress accidentally brush against her husband to reach for a file. Really? To do this right outside of his office where everyone can see? Can she be more obvious? Lost in scenarios she would rather not be focusing on, she almost misses the sound of his voice calling her name. She looks up, their eyes meet as he makes his way over to her. He leans in to kiss her, keeping it chaste as they’re in front of all his employees, his smile is infectious as he invites her to sit down and work on the case at hand. Right, she’s here to help him figure out the cause of death. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, she resets herself.
“Shiho, you’re brilliant! I know who did it!”
Pressing a kiss on her cheek, he pulls out his phone to call the station and give his deduction. Her heart warms at the sight of him, doing what he loves, the light radiating from within whenever he has a breakthrough. She’ll never get tired of how happy he looks after solving a case he’s been stuck on, she’s also rather fond of the way he pours all of his energy to focus on his work. It’s one of the many qualities she admires about her husband, she smiles watching as he continues his conversation with whoever the responding officer is. It’s short lived as a frown takes its place when she sees his secretary once again invading his space. Another accidental bump as she prepares to leave the agency, Shiho doesn’t buy it for a second.
“Ready to go home?”
“Huh? Already? Don’t you have to finish up with the case?”
“I’ll finish it tomorrow, I haven’t been home in a couple of days and I missed you.”
“Let’s go home then.”
The annoying feeling continues to fester even as they go home and have dinner together. His focus is on her, using any little excuse to touch her, he wasn’t lying when he said he missed her. It does make her feel a little better, until his phone rings and of course it’s his secretary who accidentally dialed the wrong number. That’s the third strike, it’s definitely done on purpose and all while Shiho is there to witness. She’s sending a message, two can play that game.
“Shiho? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. How was your day, Shinichi?”
“Better, after seeing you.”
“You really missed me that much?”
Hugging her from behind as she prepares for bed, wearing a robe she’s never worn in front of him, he kisses her cheek as an answer. She removes his hand, turning to face him with a wicked smile. Gently pushing him down to lie on their bed, she leans in to whisper in his ear sending shivers up his spine. She reacts before he does, not giving him a chance to have the upper hand.
“You’re going to be late for work tomorrow… if you even make it there.”
She straddles him, fingers lightly trailing down his shirt unbuttoning it one by one. She leans forward to kiss him, he responds immediately pulling her flush against him. She breaks the kiss despite his protests, she simply smiles before untying her robe to reveal what’s underneath. A deep green babydoll made of silk, with a plunging neckline leaving little to imagination, it barely covers her ass.
“Is that new?”
“Maybe.”
“Am I the only one to see you in this?”
“In this color, yes.”
“You have more of these? Where are you hiding them, actually why are you hiding them from me?”
“I have to have some surprises, or else it’ll get old quick.”
“With you, never.”
“Is that so?”
“You don’t believe me?”
She doesn’t give a verbal answer, choosing to respond by removing the rest of his clothes. She keeps hers on. He reaches for her, but she backs away teasing him when she purposely brushes herself over his hardened length. His eyes widen, even more eager now that he knows there’s nothing keeping them apart, she’s not wearing any underwear. He pushes himself up intent on just taking her, normally she would just let him but not tonight. She wants to prioritize his needs first.
“Just sit back and relax, let me take care of everything.”
“But…”
“I want to touch you Shinichi, I want to make you feel good too.”
“You do make me feel good, Shiho.”
She loves the fact that he always puts her needs first, now it’s his turn. Distracting him with a light peck on his lips, he closes his eyes, opening them when he feels her hand wrapped around him. A gentle tug, stroking his length with her alluring eyes focused on his face. Wanting to see the effect she has on him, still has on him even after being married for over a year. Their spark is nowhere close to burning out. He loves how soft her hands are, how she knows the exact amount of pressure to use, setting a nice easy pace. He surrenders, though he prefers to satisfy her, he won’t complain about this role reversal.
“Shiho, I’m gonna…”
“It’s okay, cum for me.”
“… I wanna be inside you… when I…”
“After, I’m not done with you yet.”
He stops holding back once he hears her reassurance that there’s more to look forward to. He makes a mess spilling onto the sheets, with some of the residue landing on her as well. She’s not bothered at all about the stain in her newly purchased attire, using her finger she swipes it off the silky material then puts her finger into her mouth to lick it clean. She moans, complimenting him on how good he tastes. She tells him to stay put while she takes a towel to wipe up the rest of his release, he watches her with baited breath to see her next move. She’s a massive tease, but tonight there’s something different about her, she’s set on filling all of his desires. He wants to ask her why the sudden change, but his thoughts are interrupted when she straddles him. How she has time to calculate his refractory period he’ll never know, but he’s damn lucky she’s just as intune with his body as he is with hers.
She continues to tempt him by rubbing her folds over his erection. She's so wet, he can easily slip inside if she would just stop moving away. He tries to hold her still, hands gripping her hips, she brushes against him again. He whines out loud, frustrated that she won’t give them both what they want. She kisses him, lightly nipping his bottom lip.
“Shiho, please. I want to feel you…”
“How bad do you want me?”
“Desperately.”
“Hm…”
“Tell me what I have to do for you to believe me.”
“Tell me you’re mine, and only mine.”
“Of course I’m yours, there’s no one else I want. It’s you Shiho, only you.”
Since he’s so kind, giving her a satisfactory answer, she grants his request. A devious smile before she leans in to claim his lips once more, shifting her hips at the same time to slide down onto him. He’s not sure which of them makes the noise, most likely both, at finally being joined together. She doesn’t waste anymore time, setting a smooth rhythm while his hands reach the strap of her lingerie pulling it down exposing her breast. Kneading the soft flesh, his touch combined with the cool air making her nipples pebble. She loves the way his hands feel on her, a reciprocating relationship, he loves the way she responds to his actions.
“Shinichi…”
His name comes out in between a breathy moan, he can feel her quiver around him, her movements slowing. Her grip on his shoulders tightens, digging her nails into his skin, leaving crescent shape marks in their wake. It isn’t enough, she wants to leave more traces of herself on him, let everyone know he’s taken. He’s never seen this side of her, a possessive streak he didn’t know existed. He smiles holding her close, before pushing her on her back to prove his devotion. He starts to pull out, but she wraps her legs around his waist keeping him still. She leans in to whisper in his ear that she wants to feel all of him. This woman is going to be the death of him.
Meant to be FaceTiming with Ran as they do their weekly catch up talk, but Shiho’s distracted. Each time Shinichi passes by her, she can see the love bites scattered across his skin he didn’t even bother covering up. To be fair, he’s also working from home today, so there’s no reason to hide them. She can’t help but wonder what his secretary would think if she saw the evidence of their lovemaking, maybe she should find an excuse to send him to the office.
“Shiho, I know that look and gross. We can catch up another day if you want to jump your husband so badly.”
“You make it sound like that’s all I think about. What do you mean you know that look?”
“It’s the same look he has with you. I’m happy that you guys have a healthy sex life, but I would rather not know the details.”
“Now you know how I feel when you share stories about your husband.”
“Okay, okay. I give, you’re right. What’s going on though?”
“Hm?”
“There’s something bothering you, did Shinichi do something?”
“No, he’s the perfect husband as usual…”
“But?”
“I don’t know Ran, I guess I’m just a little ticked with his job.”
“Oh I know, it’s like all he thinks about are his cases.”
“No, that’s not the problem. I don’t mind that at all. It’s actually kinda nice to see how excited he gets when he figures it out.”
“Then what is it?”
She glances over at his closed office door that he just walked inside of. After making sure Shinichi is nowhere around them, even moving over to the balcony outside as a precaution. She shuts the door, she’s completely alone, the sound of the waves would be enough to mask the conversation if he should come looking for her. Ran waits patiently though she's a bit worried over how sneaky she’s acting.
“Shiho, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?”
“I hate his secretary.”
“What? Why? What’s wrong with her?”
“I mean she’s nice, but… like too nice you know?”
“You’re gonna have to give me some examples.”
“She’s just too close to him, always getting into his space. I’ve seen the way she looks at him too, and ugh, he just doesn’t even notice it! Are you laughing at me? I’m being serious. This is so frustrating!”
“I’m sorry, it’s just so funny. You’re so jealous, I’ve literally never seen you get jealous before.”
“I am not jealous.”
“Yes you are, Shinichi didn’t change secretaries right? It’s still the same one I met last year?”
“Yes, the same one.”
“Shiho, you know she’s happily married right? Like with a kid and everything.”
“So? Marriage doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean she’s not interested in him.”
“Oh Shiho… at the very least, you don’t have to worry about Shinichi. He would never even think about being with anyone else.”
“Maybe…”
“You think he would cheat on you?”
“Well I mean… it wouldn’t really be cheating. It’s not like we’re actually married.”
“Oh my god, Shiho! You’re kidding right?”
“Um, no?”
“This is worse than I thought. Poor Shinichi, no wonder he’s been in a mood. I love you and you’re my best friend, but I can’t believe you right now! He’s in love with you! And you’re definitely in love with him too!”
“Just because we’re married doesn’t mean…”
“Shiho, stop trying to deny it. Admit it, you would be heartbroken if he decided to go screw his secretary.”
“Who’s going to screw his secretary? You can’t be talking about me right?”
She didn’t even notice when he appeared behind her,. How much of their conversation did he hear? How did he manage to sneak up on her like that?
“Shinichi? When did you get here?”
“Just now, hi Ran.”
“I’ll leave you two alone, call me later Shiho! Good luck Shinichi!”
Shiho rolls her eyes at the exchange, she’s supposed to be on her side. Feeling her husband's arms wrap around her waist, she turns her attention to him asking if he needs something. He just wanted to know if she was craving anything in particular for dinner.
“I’m good with anything, you choose since you’re home for once.”
“Sorry, I’ve been so busy.”
“It’s okay, I get it. Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”
“Shiho.”
“Hm?”
“You know you don’t have to worry right?”
“About?”
“I only want you, no one else. Shiho, I…”
She kisses him to shut him up, not yet ready to hear the rest of the sentence. Words that he’s been dying to tell her, ones that she refuses to listen to. It’s better this way, besides he doesn’t mean it anyways. They’re doing fine, no need to change the dynamic and ruin what they have. She’s perfectly content with the way things are right now.
They haven’t spoken more than awkward pleasantries in days and she doesn’t know whether or not it’s a good thing. He’s being considerate, giving her space, but every time she looks at him she feels incredibly guilty. She’s been stringing him along all this time, making him fall harder with every little interaction they have. How could she do this to him? How could she not realize the signs? Of course it’s obvious he’s been in love with her all this time, she just chose to ignore it and convince herself she’s delusional. It’s not real, she has to keep reminding herself it’s not, but if it really isn’t why does she keep questioning it?
He looks miserable without her, his eyes losing their spark she loves… is so used to seeing. Pretending he’s alright by burying himself into work, an excuse to get away from her. The thought makes her heart ache, why did it have to turn out this way? They were doing fine, isn’t it enough to just stay in limbo, why push for more? His focus breaks when he spots her lingering in the corner, it only happens for a split second but she notices the slight tremor in his hands creating a small wrinkle in the paper he almost crumbles up. Recomposing himself, he invites her to join the rest of the team on the case. They’re here to work on business, not deal with their personal issues.
Despite the awkward tension in the beginning, they manage to push it aside, working seamlessly well together. A few hours later, it appears he’s figured out the nature of the crime after hearing her input. A reflex he can’t control, the need to touch her as he gently squeezes her arm before leaving to make the phone call. She misses his warmth immediately, wishing he would stay just a pause longer, but it wouldn’t be fair. She’s indulged enough in this love affair. A soft voice calls out to her, one she doesn’t expect, asking if she needs anything; it’s his secretary.
“Is there anything I can get for you Mrs. Kudo?”
“It’s actually Miyano… I’m alright thank you.”
“My apologies, Mr. Kudo did mention you didn’t take his last name, but force of habit… he just gets so happy when I refer to you as such. It reminds me of my husband. I think we both got lucky, marrying the love of our lives.”
“… right.”
“I don’t mean to intrude, and I promise not to bring it up anymore after this but… whatever it is that seems to be bothering you, I can assure you of one thing. He loves you a lot, you’re all he talks about aside from his cases. Please go easy on him, forgive him for whatever mistake he must have made. His heart is in the right place.”
“I know… I just don’t know if I can say the same…”
It’s the evening before their last interview, it’s a guarantee they’ll pass and he’ll no longer have to worry about his status here in America. Which means they can put an end to their sham marriage. On paper they’ll have to stay married for at least a year or two, to avoid suspicion and have his green card revoked, but they can go their separate ways. There’s no need to live in the same house or even talk to each other after this. This isn’t the ending she hoped for, she rather enjoyed his company, it was nice to have someone to rely on here. She’s forgotten what it felt like to have a friend, someone who genuinely cares about her, someone she loves… cares for in return. Maybe it’s time for her to go back to Japan, there isn’t anything keeping her here anymore. She should’ve left years ago, then none of this would have happened, their paths may not have ever crossed. The thought hurts her, she doesn’t regret meeting him, she just wishes she didn’t have to be so cruel and cause him so much pain. A knock on her door startles her, she moved back into her old bedroom, it must be Shinichi. She did ask to see him so they can prepare for the final interview, she tells him to come in, making sure her appearance isn’t too distracting. She’s covered up in a fluffy white robe, much like their wedding night except he’s wearing his normal pajamas. She pats the space next to her on the bed, letting him know it’s okay to sit down with her. It’ll be just like it was at the agency, all business, they can remain civil.
“It’s likely we’ll be asked to interview separately again. This is more of a check in though, to see how we’re doing as a couple. Our answers don’t have to match exactly, but it should be on the same page.”
“But we’re not on the same page, Shiho.”
“Shinichi…”
“I know. I’ve been thinking… I don’t want to lose you, if you want to pretend I never confessed then okay, but please don’t leave. You don’t have to love me back, I love you too much to let you go.”
“Shinichi… but that’s not fair to you. You should be with someone who loves you too.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Shiho.”
“Even if I don’t love you? Even if I never come to love you?”
“Yes.”
“You should be more selfish, you deserve better.”
“I am being selfish.”
He leans into her space, ever so slowly, giving her the chance to push him away. She doesn’t, she’s missed his touch, the feel of his body pressed against hers. Her response is immediate when he slants his mouth over hers in a soft kiss. She curls into him, pulling him with her as she lands on her back, a hum escapes her lips at finally being so close again. Her heart bursts from the way he looks at her, pouring all of his love into her. It’s suffocating, she’s drowning in the weight of his emotions, embracing it as she falls deeper into the abyss. She should run away, but she finds she no longer has the strength to fight against it, could it be true? Does she love him too?
She watches the rise and fall of his chest, exhausted from their night of passion. He hasn’t been sleeping since their last real conversation, her rejection still stings. She wonders how he can still love her when she keeps hurting him. He holds her just as he used to, as if nothing changed, the only difference is his vocal declaration that he loves her. She can still hear those three words ring in her ear when he pressed into her, repeating it over and over letting her know he isn’t going to take it back. Looking over at him now, she can’t quite explain the feeling in her chest, her heart pounding rapidly. All she knows is that she can’t bear the thought of leaving him even if it’s the better choice for both of them. Placing a light kiss over his beating heart, she closes her eyes drifting off into slumber.
“This is the last time we will see each other, I take it everything is going well with Mr. Kudo?”
“Yeah, we’re doing fine.”
“I’ll be honest, I had my doubts… but now I know I was wrong.”
“Is it because you caught us in a compromising position?”
“No, you don’t want to know the lengths people are willing to do just for a green card.”
“Oh, then what changed your mind?”
“Ms. Miyano, what do you think of your husband’s work?”
“Back to business I see… um, I think it suits him. It’s something he’s good at and passionate about.”
“You’re smiling, did you think of something?”
“Am I? Oh, I was just thinking about his last case… you should’ve seen the look on his face when he managed to get that little girl back safely, everyone lost hope… but he did the impossible… I swear he can pull off miracles.”
“I see, and your home life?”
“Well, we have a very healthy sex life, you almost witnessed it. I have no complaints about that.”
“I wasn’t exactly referring to that, I meant more along the lines of how you interact at home and if you communicate with each other over future plans?”
“He’s a busy man, so he’s not always at home. It doesn’t really bother me, if I miss him I’ll just drop by, but I know that he needs his space sometimes… though he seems to prefer when I’m nearby. He claims it helps him think better. As for the future? I don’t think we’ve really talked about that, we’re living in the moment.”
“So no kids or even pets?”
“… he wants kids… but I’m not sure that I do… as for pets, I think we’re going to get a dog soon. It’s supposed to be a surprise, but he has trouble hiding things from me.”
“Has he ever pushed you to have children?”
“No, never. He always puts my needs first. Sometimes too much…”
“How does that make you feel? Do you wish he would change?”
“It’s frustrating at times, I won’t lie. He’s too good to me, I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
“It's clear you’re both still very much in love with each other. He says the same thing about you, calling himself the luckiest guy in the world. I can tell he makes you happy, you haven’t stopped smiling since we started talking about him.”
“He does make me happy, I love… oh my god… holy shit…”
“Is something wrong Ms. Miyano?”
“… no, not at all… um, I’m sorry. Are we almost done? I think I need to see my husband.”
“I think we can wrap this up, I’ll close up your file. It should take three to five business days to get everything settled.”
“Great, thank you.”
For a genius, she can’t believe how much of a fool she’s been. She’s in love with him, completely and utterly in love with her husband. They’re married, she’s actually married to him. How did this happen? How did she not realize this sooner? Why did it take the words of someone she doesn’t even know all that well to clue her in on what everyone else already knows as fact? She has to tell him, is it too late? He still loves her right? She’s full on panicking now, with her hand gripping the door handle, she needs to calm down. Taking a deep breath, she opens the door, she spots him immediately rereading a Sherlock novel. She smiles, she loves him, of course he’s reading it again even though he has it memorized by now. He senses her gaze, closing the book to focus all of his attention on her. He smiles, asking if she's ready to go home, her heart thumps rapidly hearing his words. Home, they have a home together. She needs to tell him, but the words will not come out.
“Shinichi…”
“Yes?”
“I…”
“You…?”
“I… I want to take the long way home.”
“You want to cross the bridge at this hour? We’re going to be stuck in traffic.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve walked across Golden Gate… I kinda miss it…”
“Okay, we’ll go.”
The whole drive there, she’s been dying to tell him she loves him too, but everytime she tries she can’t say those three words out loud. If only he could read her mind, it would be easier on her, though he does deserve to hear a proper confession. Why is this so difficult? She should just blurt it out. Is this how he felt? This is what she was putting him through? How did he go two whole years keeping it a secret? Granted it was obvious, she just refused to believe it was true.
“I can see why you like it here even with all the tourists.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better, I didn’t think it would be this crowded. Is it a long weekend or something?”
“There’s a lot more people here today than I’m used to. Then again I’ve only ever been here with you during the dead of night.”
“Do you remember the night we first met?”
“How could I forget? You wouldn’t stop teasing me.”
He’s holding her hand, the gentle ocean breeze pushing them forward ever so slightly. She looks back on that night fondly, funny that he mentioned fate during their first interaction. She’s not one to believe in determinism, but maybe there’s something to it. Afterall she’s never felt this strongly for anyone, never thought she was capable of it until she met him.
“You know… if someone told me two years ago that I would fall in love with the guy who thought I was going to jump off a bridge that night, I would have laughed in their face.”
He turns to face her immediately, taking both of her hands. His blue eyes sparkle with hope that he’s not dreaming. She lets it slip so casually, she almost didn’t even notice what she just admitted. Almost.
“What did you say? Did you just…”
“Kudo Shinichi, I’m in love with you.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you Shinichi.”
“You said it twice now. I’m not letting you take it back.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Shiho. So much.”
He kisses her, pressing light airy kisses all over her face. The sound of her laughter only urges him to keep kissing her, this time lingering on her lips. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her close, her hands on the back of his neck. The warm afternoon sun reflecting off her diamond ring, a golden aura surrounding the happily married couple.
It’s his birthday, he didn’t want to make it a big deal, not wanting to put unnecessary pressure on her. She took it upon herself to organize a party, inviting all of their friends. She admits she received some help from his mother to make sure everything goes perfectly for his special day, he wasn’t expecting the surprise at all. She’s been more distant lately, he was afraid she was having doubts again. He doesn’t quite know how to explain their relationship, she usually pushes him away but he must be wearing down her defenses. She allows him to kiss her, sometimes even seeking his comfort first. It’s enough that she’s finally reciprocating his affections, what more can he ask for?
“Happy birthday Shinichi! See, I told you it would all work out. Look at all this effort she put in to surprise you!”
“I’m more surprised that you managed to keep it a secret.”
“I learned from the best, it’s what happens when your husband works for the FBI.”
“Probably why he isn’t here today.”
“Yeah, unfortunately duty calls, but he sends his love. Actually his exact words were ‘tell him I said good luck with Shiho.’ I think he’s impressed she’s still around.”
“No one’s ever given her a reason to stay.”
“Maybe.”
“Your tone changed… what are you keeping from me?”
“Nothing. It’s just… you’re not the first guy to fall in love with her. Wait till I finish, don’t jump to conclusions!”
“How can I not when you phrase it this way? I still worry about an ex showing up and she’ll decide to run away with him.”
“You don’t need to worry about that, she’ll choose you.”
“So there is an ex I need to worry about. Is it the soccer player?”
“Shinichi, it’s your birthday. Stop stressing about something that’s not going to happen. Go enjoy your time with her. Doesn’t she look amazing? I love that dress on her, red suits her so well.”
“She always looks beautiful.”
“You should go tell her that, I’m sure it’ll score you some points. Now go!”
She’s the center of his world as always, stunning their guests with her beauty. Especially when she smiles, except who is she talking to? He doesn’t recognize this guy, he’s definitely not on the guest list. His insecurity gets the best of him, he was already on edge from his conversation with Ran. Sure things are a lot better now, but she’s not in love with him. There’s still a chance he could lose her.
She doesn’t seem to notice he’s right behind her as she continues conversing with the stranger. He prepares to introduce himself to the guy who won’t stop talking to his wife, but he loses his composure when the man reaches over to touch her, she quickly shrugs him away but the damage is already done. In two strides he’s at her side, placing an arm around her waist sending a clear message: she’s his. She turns to face him, caught off guard by his appearance at her side. Neither of them notice when the stranger slips away without a goodbye.
“When did you get here? I thought you were talking to Ran.”
“Can’t a husband come check on his wife without being questioned?”
“I don’t like your tone. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to see who you were talking to.”
“It’s just… oh, he left.”
“Are you disappointed? Did I interrupt something?”
“Shinichi, cut it out. Why are you acting this way?”
“You just seem close.”
“Not really, I mean we worked together for a couple weeks when I was in Seattle.”
“I see.”
“Why do you keep talking like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re trying to pick a fight, you don’t trust me.”
“That’s not true, of course I trust you.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’m not…”
“I really don’t want to ruin your birthday, but you’re really testing me. Can we just drop this and move on? We didn’t even get to have cake yet.”
She starts to remove herself from his arm, but he holds her back, he’s not ready to let her go yet. This only makes her more annoyed, she doesn’t understand his hesitance. At this rate they’re going to cause a scene, it’s the last thing he wants to do. He’s quick to apologize for his rash behavior, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Already walking away in an effort to keep calm, she somehow ends up running right into her former coworker. He catches her before she falls, this is what sets Shinichi off. He pulls her out to the hallway before she can even register what’s happening. Logically he knows she didn’t do anything wrong and he’s being completely irrational, but he can’t think clearly when she’s involved. They’re not technically together, of course he worries she’ll change her mind. She breaks free from his grasp just outside of the hotel room they’ve booked for the night.
“Seriously Shinichi, what’s gotten into you?”
“Shiho, did you see the way he was looking at you? I couldn’t take it anymore!”
“What are you even talking about? James is…”
“Very clearly interested in you. Does he know about me?”
“We haven’t talked in two years, why would he know about you?”
“Why is he even here? He wasn’t invited… did you ever date him?”
“You’re being ridiculous, didn’t you notice he’s wearing a uniform? He’s part of the catering company. I guess he decided to change careers. He’s a decent cook.”
“He’s cooked for you?”
“Not just for me, we used to have potlucks… why am I explaining this to you? If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re jealous.”
“What if I am.”
“What? You have no reason to be.”
“Why wouldn’t I be jealous when I see my wife laughing with some other guy I’ve never met.”
“You can’t be jealous.”
“But I am. I can’t pretend I don’t care anymore Shiho.”
“How much have you had to drink? Maybe you should go lie down for a bit.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“You’re not running a fever…”
She’s so close to him, the back of her hand on his forehead to test the temperature. She’s convinced he’s not well, it’s maddening how she doesn’t get it. She refuses to see the truth even when it’s right in front of her. Maybe he’ll just have to spell it out for her. He catches her arm before it drops, she instinctively moves back hitting the wall behind her. He takes a step forward effectively trapping her, there’s only one way out and it’s through him.
“Shiho.”
“Yes?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
His lips are on hers just after he utters the last syllable, he does still retain a little self control ready to back off the moment she pushes him away. She doesn’t, no, she pulls him closer instead. She’s the one who takes it further, tongue gently probing until he allows her access, her hands working down his body until she reaches his belt. He tells himself he should stop, but his hands have a mind of their own as they wind up underneath her dress hiking it up. He brushes against her, feeling the dampness on her underwear, she makes a satisfied noise when she manages to undo his belt and slide her hand inside to touch him. He jerks against the feel of her hand wrapping around him while the other pulls down his boxers. He does the same with her panties as she guides him towards her entrance. Everything is progressing too quickly, this is not at all the way he envisioned their first time together, but he’s running on primal instincts. The need to be joined overrules everything else, especially when she whispers against his lips how much she wants him to fuck her in this hallway. He pushes into her with ease, groaning when he feels her heat around him. It’s even better than he imagined, he fits her like a glove. They move in sync, their hips meeting in the middle creating some sort of rhythm only they are attuned to. She breathes out his name when he sucks on a pulse point on her neck. He’s not going to last if she keeps saying his name like that. She reaches in between them rubbing her clit, as his pace grows more frantic. He’s going to leave marks on her hips from how tightly he’s gripping them, finger shaped indentations he’ll have to soothe away after.
“Shiho.”
Her name comes out in a broken whisper, the only warning he can give before he spills inside of her. He feels her walls tighten just moments later with her hold on his shirt loosening. They’re face to face looking into each other’s eyes with matching smiles, she loops her arms around his neck. She couldn’t help the remark slipping out of her mouth about how they probably should’ve tried to make it into the room first.
“We still have time.”
“Oh? What about the party?”
“It’s my birthday and I want to spend it with you. All night long.”
“Someone’s ambitious.”
“Just making up for our wedding night.”
“Our wedding night?”
“You said you expected your husband to fuck you on every surface. Better late than never.”
“Happy birthday to you then…”
He kisses her, already pulling down her zipper before the door is properly shut, she tugs on his jacket to help him out of it. They spend the rest of the night locked in their room ignoring the numerous calls from their friends and family. To be fair, their ringtones aren’t enticing enough to tear them away from each other as Shinichi makes good on his promise to redo their wedding night. He makes sure to take care of her needs first, paying close attention to what she likes. Thoroughly exploring her body, leaving his mark on her, letting her know she never has to go looking for someone else. No one else can compare, he wants to be the best lover she’s ever had. From the sounds she’s making and the way she’s gripping his hair as he lies between her legs, he’s confident he’s on the right track.
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Things are not going well at all, she's in full panic mode. This is a code red and it’s not a drill. She feels so guilty everytime she looks at him. He thinks she’s still mad at him, but the truth is, she can’t face him right now. There’s no turning back after fantasizing about him. She finally caved, giving herself some much needed alone time, what she didn’t expect was for her to picture him as her lover. It’s all she can think about when she sees him, especially now that she knows the way he tastes. Her mind wanders if he could put his tongue to other uses in between her legs, would he be gentle or does he like it rough? These are the questions that run through her head and it is definitely not a good sign. It doesn’t help that he’s completely unaware of the effect he has on her. His lingering touches, eyes that light up when she turns her focus on him, sweet words in an effort to engage her in conversation, holding her close in his arms pressing himself into her when she should be sleeping. Her insomnia has never been worse, slipping out of their room in the middle of the night and leaving the house before he wakes so that he doesn’t call her out for running away. It would force her to face the truth, she refuses to give in to her desires. She can’t cross this line with him, she won’t.
His voice breaks her out of her thoughts, there he is, the man of her dreams. Literally. He taps her shoulder letting her know it’s her turn to be interviewed, she nods, grabbing her bag then heads inside the small room. The moment she sits down, she’s bombarded with questions she knew she would be asked. She answers accordingly without any hesitation, it’s pretty standard until a nerve is struck.
“Just one more question, Ms. Miyano… is there a reason why you decided against taking your husband’s surname?”
She certainly wasn’t expecting the fact that she kept her maiden name to come up. This brings her back to the other night weeks ago when Shinichi mentioned it again. He wasn’t trying to force her, but he had a feeling she had another reason besides paperwork. She tells him the truth, it’s what she repeats when faced with the same question again.
“It’s one of the few things I have left from my family, and Shinichi understands.”
“I apologize for being intrusive.”
“It’s your job isn’t it? To make sure that this is real.”
“It is.”
“Can you tell me why you seem hesitant to believe us?”
“I’ve been in this line of work for a long time, Ms. Miyano. Unfortunately there are more sham marriages that pass through than we would like. I tend to be more cautious in evaluating the couples under my jurisdiction.”
“I see, I don’t blame you. I would probably be just as cynical, if not more if I was in your position.”
“That being said, I don’t have any doubts about your husband’s affections towards you.”
“But you doubt my feelings?”
“I do, but I’m not the only one am I?”
“You tell me, it’s your job to assess how we’re doing. So, did we pass?”
“Both of your answers match, right down to the tiniest details. I’ve been to your home, so I do know you actually live together unlike some of our other couples.”
“Then you have no reason to believe we’re faking it.”
“I will see you both during my next visit, expect me at any time.”
“Not a problem.”
Shinichi’s eyes are on her the moment she steps out of the office, he doesn’t say a word but he knows she’s irritated. Thankfully not at him, though he’s curious what their case worker said to get her all worked up. She keeps her expression neutral on the drive home, he waits to see if she wants to share what’s bothering her. She doesn’t, keeping it all bottled up inside instead.
“Let’s go down to the beach, I want to go swimming.”
“Okay, I’ll go pack our things.”
It’s a sunny day in the San Francisco Bay, the ocean is slightly above freezing even with the nice weather. Shiho doesn’t let that bother her as she ventures into the waves with Shinichi trailing behind her. This is out of character for her, she hates being out in the sun and isn’t fond of splashing around in the water. She prefers to sit on a beach towel under the shade of an umbrella, watching the waves meet the shore over and over. He makes sure she’s always in his line of sight in case something happens. She keeps looking back to see him staring intently at her, worry evident on his face though he does not voice his concerns. She stops when they’re waist deep in the ocean, allowing him to catch up. A smile from her is enough to bring one to his face as well, a large wave approaches nearly knocking her over. He’s there to catch her, helping her keep her balance. There’s a strange look on her face as she glances up at him, her features soften as her grip on his shoulders tightens. She shivers from the cold, he suggests they go back to shore, she shakes her head.
“Shiho, what’s going on?”
“Shinichi.”
“Yes?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
That’s all the warning she gives before she crashes into him, he stumbles backwards from the force. They both wind up under water for a brief moment, it does nothing to keep them apart. She catches his lips again when they resurface, this time he doesn’t fall down, they only stop kissing when the next wave hits, drenching them further. There’s a dreamy look in her eyes when they pull apart, until it turns devious when she splashes water at him daring him to join in her fun. He immediately takes the bait, they spend the afternoon water fighting and kissing under the warm sun. She starts to get handsy once they make it onto the beach towel far from peering eyes. He almost gives in, but something doesn’t feel right.
“Wait, stop.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’ve been ignoring me for the past few weeks and now you’re… what happened at the interview?”
“What questions did she ask you?”
“Huh? Um, nothing too crazy. She asked what we wear to sleep, the color of our toothbrushes, if we have carpet in our bedroom and what color it is. Things like that.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it. Was she supposed to ask something else?”
“No, because she believes you.”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s my fault she’s being extra strict on us. She doesn’t believe my feelings for you are genuine. I guess you really did inherit your mother’s acting gene.”
“…”
“Look, I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable and forcing myself on you like this. I’m just frustrated. I thought I was doing a decent job at being your wife… maybe if I tried harder then it would be believable.”
“You’re the perfect wife, I don’t want you to force yourself to be something you’re not Shiho.”
“At this rate I won’t even be able to get you a green card. You should’ve gone with someone else.”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“See, when you say things like that and when you keep looking at me like this… no wonder she believes you. I almost believe you.”
“Shiho, I…”
“I promise not to surprise you like this again. It’s not going to get us anywhere. I think I’m ready to go home and get cleaned up.”
“… okay, let’s go.”
She really doesn’t know what she was thinking acting this way. It’s a wonder he hasn’t called her crazy yet, he must think it though. He’s so incredibly patient with her even when she keeps going back and forth in their relationship. She should pick a side and stick to it. Either stay hot or keep cool. She’s leaning towards the latter, besides crossing the line will only make things messy later on.
He has her pressed up on the counter, lifting her up to sit on top of it. She can’t get enough of the way his hands feel on her skin, she wants him to go further. She would voice her thoughts aloud, but her lips are preoccupied with being kissed by him. Her hands are in his hair tugging him closer, he keeps his on her waist, squeezing it every now and then but he never moves them from their spot. He’s driving her insane by not doing anything.
“Shinichi…”
She cannot resist the slip of his name, practically begging him to do something else. As much as she likes kissing him, she wants more. He pulls away with a chuckle, she pouts. Just once she wishes her dreams would leave her satisfied, but he bursts her bubble by revealing they’re both very much awake right now.
“Are you ready to go to bed now?”
“Wait, so I’m not dreaming?”
“You dream about me? That’s really cute… ouch! Did you just pinch me?”
“To make sure this isn’t a dream.”
“Aren’t you supposed to pinch yourself?”
“Why would I do that? It hurts.”
“… I take it back, you’re not cute at all.”
“We both know you didn’t marry me for my looks.”
“Well…”
“Really? Kudo Shinichi! You married me because you think I’m attractive?”
“Isn’t that the reason you married me too?”
“No, of course not. I married you for your money.”
“I thought dinner tasted a little off today…”
“Please, how predictable? A chemist poisons her husband? Give me some credit Kudo. Besides, with your luck I won’t have to do anything. You get into enough trouble on your own.”
“You, Miyano Shiho, are going to be the death of me.”
As if to prove his point, she leans forward to give him a chaste kiss then declares she’s ready for bed. She asks him to carry her upstairs, he happily accepts her request. There must be a full moon out, or maybe she’s just losing it. She hasn’t felt this happy in weeks, ignoring him hasn’t been fun for her either. She’s tired of pretending she’s not affected by him. It’s a losing battle, who cares about blurring the lines? Besides, is it wrong of her to want to sleep with her husband? She’s so close to giving in, even if she knows it’s a bad idea.
Their marriage is going well, it’s almost perfect, the only problem is she’s still convinced it isn’t real. He doesn’t know what to do at this point. He’s tried telling her but get interrupted each time, take her out on dates, buying her gifts, making sure to spend quality time with her, talk to her about things unrelated to his cases and checking in with how she feels, having sex regularly and putting her needs first every time. He’s literally following the blueprint to a perfect relationship and somehow she thinks it’s all pretend.
“I should’ve known, this is why you shouldn’t get married.”
“What?”
“Shinichi, are you okay? It’s not like you to space out during an investigation, even if it’s over now.”
“Sorry, I have a few things on my mind.”
“I’ll help you with the paperwork so you don’t have to spend the night here again.”
“I didn’t spend the night last time, I just didn’t get home till four in the morning.”
“Only to leave again a few hours later, you should keep some extra clothes and other necessities here. You literally had a working shower installed, you should use it. There’s no need to come home every day.”
“I just don’t want you to miss me too much.”
“You don’t give me a chance to miss you.”
“Am I smothering you? Do you want some time alone?”
“Um… I don’t really mind it. I am used to being alone, but I’ve kinda forgotten how it feels now.”
He takes this into consideration as they enter his office, she sits on his desk while he takes his seat. Both naturally go into work mode as they begin looking over the reports. He should grab his laptop from his secretary after they go through all the files. It only takes them a couple hours to get it all sorted out, Shiho stands up to stretch, eager to be done with everything. Picking up the case brief, she continues their previous conversation.
“Who would’ve thought? Thirty years together, in what seems to be a happy marriage, then he kills her.”
“His insecurities got the best of him, he married way up. Instead of talking things through, he convinced himself she settled for him.”
“She might have… but so what? It happens.”
“True, but this guy was crazy in love with her. The thought of her possibly leaving him one day was killing him.”
“So he kills her instead. Because he loves her. What an asshole. Just let her go if you think she wants to leave, or just ask her.”
“Do you think she would have told him the truth? If she really didn’t love him?”
“In this situation, no. He obviously has problems so either way she would be in trouble. Knowing that I would die anyways, I would probably tell the truth. Would you?”
“I don’t think I would ever be in that situation.”
“I hope not, it’s pretty shitty.”
“… you can relate?”
“A little, but not to this extent. Good thing we don’t have to worry about that.”
“You’re right, we don’t.”
“But maybe you’ll have to worry about your next wife.”
“I’m not going to have another wife.”
Pushing herself off his desk, she smiles, moving in to straddle him in his chair. Her arms wrapped around his neck playing with the ends of his hair. He places his hands around her waist to keep her from falling.
“You never know, you’re not going to stay single for the rest of your life.”
“I’m not single, we’re married.”
“Hm… you know I think this is the longest I’ve ever been in your office.”
“I usually do the paperwork by myself.”
“Do you ever wish I was here to help you?”
“You’re here now.”
“Yes, I am.”
She leans in to kiss him, hands gripping his hair forcing him to open up. They have to break apart when the chair moves, it’s not wise to start something on wheels. She seems to have other plans from the playful smirk on her lips, she gets up in favor of kneeling before him as her hands work on undoing his belt.
“Shiho…”
“Shh, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I just want a taste.”
“You have?”
“Mm… you’re a giver and all I do is take, so now I’m going to take what I want.”
He’s half hard when she pulls him out, stroking him twice she licks her lips. She doesn’t give him any warning taking him into her mouth, he has to grip on his chair for support. She moans at the feel of him, the vibration sending a wave of pleasure to his core. Tongue swirling at the tip before taking him deeper until he hits the back of her throat, he has to quiet the urge to fuck into her mouth when she begins to bob her head. He almost lets out a loud moan, but a knock on his door stops him, she doesn’t stop her assaults. It’s his secretary asking if he would like her to bring in his laptop he hastily left on her desk, he manages to tell her he’ll get it later.
“It’s really no trouble Mr. Kudo. I’m about to leave anyway, and I know you need it to finish up with this case.”
He makes the mistake of looking down at Shiho, a mischievous look in her eyes, her hand reaching up to cup his balls fondling it. He has to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out when she somehow takes him further. Does she not have a gag reflex, it must be her sheer determination to make him suffer. The door handle jiggles, he’ll never be more thankful he opted to have a lock installed in his office. Except he doesn’t remember locking it, his eyes narrow at his wife who lives to torture him. She tries to keep an air of innocence but it’s not believable when she’s so close to making him cum. He can’t help bucking his hips up, she adjusts her position accordingly. Another knock.
“Mr. Kudo, are you okay in there?”
“F-fine. Just g-goo…”
“… if you’re sure…”
“Poss…itive!”
“Okay, good night.”
He lets out a sigh of relief, but it’s short lived, apparently his lovely wife has been holding back. Now that they’re truly alone, she turns it up a notch bringing his attention back to her. Fuck, how is she good at this? She moans again, letting him know she’s enjoying this as much as he is, this combined with the way her mouth is working on him is enough to push him over. He barely gets a warning in, but it doesn’t matter, she was prepared to swallow down every last drop he has to offer. He leans back on his chair, watching with hooded eyes when she releases him with a pop. There’s some leftover residue on the corner of her lips, she wipes it with her finger putting it inside her mouth. She never breaks eye contact, a wicked smile on her lips as she compliments him on how well he handled himself. She slowly stands up to lean against his desk.
“You didn’t let anyone interrupt our fun, you deserve a reward.”
“You almost got me in trouble, you should be punished.”
“How are you going to punish me?”
“I’m not going to do anything. I know what you want.”
“But we want the same things. You can't tell me you’ve never thought about having me here with you late at night… bending me over while you fuck me on your desk.”
“I haven’t…”
“Don’t lie to me Shinichi, I know you thought about it.”
“I… how?”
“Because, it’s the first thing I thought about when I walked into this room.”
“That was before we started having sex.”
“Uh huh. You have no idea how much I wanted you to just take me, I didn’t care who would hear us.”
“Fuck.”
“I don’t even have to cum, use me for your own pleasure.”
He jumps up, the chair rolling somewhere behind them as he pushes her on the desk kissing her. She smiles against his lips knowing she’s going to get exactly what she wants, he can’t deny her. She lets him have control, set the pace where they go, this is technically a punishment after all. He’s eager to undress her, removing her shirt over her head unbuttoning her pants pulling them down. She’s stripped to her bra and matching panties, he groans when he sees her. She definitely planned this and he’s falling for it. He allows her to unbutton his shirt while he works on getting her naked, he kicks his pants and boxers off completely. He tells her to turn around and bend over his desk just as she wanted, she happily obliges, spreading her open he can see the slick between her legs. He slides in with ease, she shudders, this angle allows him to brush against her clit with every stroke. He doesn’t waste anymore time, hands on her hips as he moves in and out of her. He’s relentless, pushing back into her almost immediately after pulling out, she grips the top of his desk for something to hold on to. Pushing back against him, meeting his every thrust, a fast pace rhythm, neither of them are going to last at this rate. He knows the telltale signs of her orgasm, feels the way her walls begin to clench, he pulls out of her leaving her hanging.
“Shinichi.”
“You can’t cum until I say so. There’s no one around, I want to hear you beg for it.”
She thinks it over, but he’s run out of patience, flipping her over onto her back he sinks into her again. Sucking on her pulse point leaving a mark, hands pressing down on her hips to keep her still. His pace is the same as before, she can feel the build up coiling inside her stomach, she tries to reach down between them, but he pulls her hand away. Placing a light peck on her lips he reminds her again what she needs to do if she wants to cum.
“Remember what you have to do.”
“Shinichi, please.”
“What was that?”
He shifts the angle of hips to brush against her clit, a sigh of content slips past her lips, he doesn’t do it again. She tries to distract him, sitting up to kiss him, his hands loosen giving her some control as she brings it between them. He purposely presses on her bundle of nerves, but only for a brief moment. His movements are agonizing slow as he continues fucking into her. She can’t take anymore of this.
“Shinichi, please let me cum.”
“You look so pretty like this, just waiting for me. Maybe I should keep you like this.”
“No, please…”
“Tell me, you’re mine and I’ll let you cum.”
His thumb rubs against her, not giving her a chance to question him. She’s so close, just a little push and she’ll be over the edge. He wants to hear her admit she needs him, then maybe she’ll realize this is real.
“Yours, only yours Shinichi.”
“See, that wasn’t so bad?”
He swallows her protests before it can even begin, picking up the pace, finally giving in to what she wants. She wraps her legs around his waist, hands scratching his back chasing her release. She cums hard with his name on her lips, he follows soon after spilling inside of her. Their heartbeats are hammering wildly, catching their breaths as they recover from their high. He kisses her again before beginning the clean up process.
“I’m never going to look at my desk the same way again.”
“That just means I’ll have to come over more and help you with your work.”
“Somehow I doubt knocking all my files over is going to help.”
“At least they’re not mixed in, I just have to pick them up.”
It doesn’t take long for them to sort out the mess they made and look somewhat presentable, so that they can finally go home. It’s well past evening with the sun set hours ago. The click of the door as they leave is what prompts him to ask if she planned this. She plays coy, but he knows she was the one who locked the door behind them.
